Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Warning: Minor spoilers for "Lying Down With Dogs" and language.
Nick was lucky he hadn't gotten into an accident on the way home. He was so upset that he wasn't paying any attention to what he was doing, or what anyone else was doing. He didn't care about anything around him. Nick couldn't take his mind off of that case he had just worked. It was eating away at him, and he knew it would be haunting him all night and maybe even for the rest of the week. These cases were never easy for him, and he didn't exactly know why. All he knew was he wanted to get home so he could yell as loud as he could in hoped of relieving the frustration and anger he was currently feeling.
As soon as he was inside and the door had closed behind him, Nick yelled out, his voice filling the dark and empty house. Unfortunately, that did absolutely nothing. If anything, it made him even madder because it hadn't worked. So Nick went to plan B. He went in to the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing the beer of the top shelf. He popped the top off and drank it down as fast as he could. The alcohol did nothing either. Granted it wasn't a lot of alcohol, but Nick had hoped it would do something. He drank two more and a couple mouthfulls of Jack Daniel's before he put the bottles on the counter and headed for the bedroom so he wouldn't be tempted to drink the rest of the alcohol in the fridge until he passed out on the kitchen floor.
Nick ran his hands back and forth through his hair and down the back of his neck, but that didn't calm him down either. He was so worked up that he didn't hear a car pull into the drivdway or hear the front door open and close. He was engrossed with his anger that all he could focus on was how much he wanted to just beat the hell out of something. Anything. So he pulled his hands out of his dark hair and turned towards the wall with every intention of slamming his fist into it as hard and as many times as he possible could. But he didn't get that far.
Another hand came in to play, and had something else in mind. Nick's arm was grabbed in the crook of his elbow and pulled back, stopping him from hitting the wall. Another hand closed around his left wrist and pulled that, as well as his right arm, behind his back and held it securely. Nick struggled slightly against the grip on his arms from behind him, but it didn't do anything but make his arms sore.
"You need to calm down Nicky," a voice whispered in his ear, warm breath tickling his neck.
Nick sighed. "I can't help it Greg. She made dogs fight. She let dogs kill each other. How could a human being do that? What the hell did the dogs ever do to her."
"I don't know sweetie," Greg said softly. "But it's not your fault. Don't take it out on your hand."
Nick struggled against Greg's grip, but the younger man just tightened his hold. "I have to. I'm so fucking mad, I can't help it. Just let me hit the wall and I'll be fine. I promise."
Greg shook his head then rested his chin on Nick's shoulder. "No, you won't. You'll wanna punch more stuff. Then you'll break your hand, and Ecklie will make you go back to therapy because he'll think you're a loose cannon and all fucked up in the head. Then you'll end up killing your therapist because you hate that guy more than anyone in the entire world. Then you'll be put in jail and I'll be so tired from conjugal visits and working so much and everything, so Warrick will have to pick up some of my shifts, and Catherine too. So it's really not going to benefit anyone if you punch a wall. Or if you punch anything for that matter."
Nick smiled slightly at Greg's rambling, but it faded. "Does it make me a bad person that I don't care that she's dead? I agree with Tommy...she deserved it for what she did to them. He did the right thing, and he gets punished. And those dogs are gonna be put down, because of her. How is that fair?"
Greg pulled Nick's back flush against his chest. "It's not. It sucks, and there isn't a lot we can do about it. But you can't blame yourself, you did everything you could. Sometimes cases don't turn out how we'd like them to, but it's out of our hands."
Nick slumped against Greg, but was still unable to relax. "If we can't do anything, then what's the point of our job? If the bad guys still end up getting off without severe punishment that they deserve, then what are we doing?"
"Getting justice for people who can't speak for themselves. Getting closure for their families. Just because there's a few cases that we don't get the desired result doesn't mean our whole job is worthless. You told me that before, remember? You made me realize it's true. You know that just as well as I do that what we do matters. It's the toughest job in the world and at times it can be hell, but it's also the greatest job in the world."
Nick sighed. "I know. You're right, I'm sorry. You can let go of my wrists now."
Greg kissed Nick's neck before he responded. "No I can't. You're still tense and mad. I know you too well. But don't worry, I know how I can help you calm down."
Greg took a small step away from Nick, and, still holding his wrists, pushed the older man forward until his legs hit the foot of the bed and he fell onto it, laying on his stomach. Greg straddled his waist from behind Nick and pinned his hands above his head against the mattress. Greg managed to pull Nick's shirt over his head without the older man being able to free his hands or shift his position. Sometimes Greg really amazed him.
"What are you doing?" Nick asked, half his face buried into the pillow.
"Don't worry about it," Greg said. "Relax, or I'm not gonna let go of your wrists. Promise me you're not gonna like freak out and hit me or something, okay?"
Nick tried to turn around and look at Greg, but the younger man was able to prevent him from doing so. Nick was usually stronger and could easily overpower Greg, who would end up just giving in due to lust or not caring. But Greg wasn't giving up now, and was definitely overpowering Nick at this point. The Texan hadn't realized how much alcohol he had actually had until he started to feel it affecting him. Struggling against Greg was getting him nowhere, so he gave up trying to turn around, but wouldn't let what was on his mind go.
"Why would I hit you?" Nick asked.
"Just relax," Greg said. "Take a deep breath and just relax, okay?"
Greg was starting to sound somewhat desperate, so Nick complied. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He let all of his muscles relax against the mattress under the weight of his boyfriend. He let his tired eyes close and tried his best to just sink in to the sheets underneath him at the same time he tried to get as much of Greg's warmth around him as he could. He cleared his mind as best as he could and became as relaxed as he possibly could at the given moment.
When Greg felt Nick relax, he let go of his wrists. Nick didn't move his hands or any other part of his body. He just laid right where Greg had pinned him down, now as relaxed and calm as he could be. A small smile played across Greg's lips as he began to slowly massage Nick's back, neck and shoulders. His warm hands quickly rubbed away all the tension and knots in Nick, making the other man even more relaxed. Greg trailed soft kisses across Nick's back and shoulders and could feel Nick letting go of his anger beneath him.
After almost a half hour, Nick smiled contently and rolled over, Greg still straddling his waist. Nick put his hands on Greg's side and smiled wider as Greg leaned down and pressed their lips together. Nick deepened the contact, kissing Greg as slowly as he could. When they broke apart, Greg was smiling, but Nick's hade faded because something was still bothering him.
"You don't think I would ever hit you, do you?" Nick asked.
Greg hesitated before shaking his head. "No, I know you wouldn't."
"Then why did you make me promise not to?"
Greg sighed. "I know how much this case got to you, and I saw the bottles in the kitchen and figured you were a little drunk, which you still kinda are. I know you wouldn't, but I just wanted to make sure. I wouldn't have blamed you or anything."
Nick shook his head slowly. He reached up and cupped the back of Greg's neck gently. "I would never hurt you. No matter how mad or drunk I am, I never could and never would hurt you in anyway. I love you."
Greg ran his hand through Nick's hair. "I know. I love you too. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and help you calm down so you would be okay, ya know?"
Nick nodded, his smile returning. "Yeah. Thanks Greg, and not just for this."
"For what then?"
Nick shrugged. "Everything."
