Disclaimer: I do not own Pikmin. Pikmin is owned by Nintendo. However… I do have ambitious plans for brainwashing.

This is my first FanFic, so I may not quite have gotten the timing and flow of the jokes correctly yet.

And now, on to the story:

PIKMIN 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 1: It's really hard to think up of good name for this chapter

A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away….absolutely nothing happened. But in the present… Louie was having moral qualms while he was delivering a shipment of silver pik-pik radishes. A little stereotypical demon character sat on his shoulder, saying "Louie! Why don't you just sell these and pocket the profit?" A stereotypical angel sat on his other shoulder. "No Louie, you must fulfill your duty to Hocotate Frate and… It was cut off as not so stereotypical large and small intestine characters fell upon both of his shoulders, crushing the other 2 characters. "EAT THE RADISHES!" They screamed. "Eat them! Eat them!" "I think I'm gonna have to trust my stomach on this one" thought Louie as he pulled his silverware out of a holster on his side. However, Louie's soon to be eating spree was interrupted as a gigantic spaceship designed to look like a empress bulborb flew past, heading directly to planet hocotate. "Holy fried turnips! I have to warn Olimar!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile, on planet Hocotate… Olimar reluctantly dragged himself out of bed to get the telephone. As he listened to the news, a look of concern spread across his face. "Holy #$! I have to get the boss! A little later… "This had better be good," muttered Louie's boss. "Louie broke into the secret beer stash!" shouted Olimar! His boss calmly got up, filled a glass of water, drank some, and spewed it out onto Olimar. " He did What!" screamed his boss.. "He's got to be drunk, because he was talking about giant flying bulborbs!" "Hey wait a minute…How do you know about my secret beer stash?" queried the boss. "Ummmmm…" Olimar was thankfully saved from having to answer the question, as the space ship Louie had just seen landed right outside the Hocotate freight corporation. Hordes of bulborbs and other creatures started pouring out of it. The most notable of them were two dwarf red bulborbs wearing green and red spacesuits that had stalks attached to them, each stalk ending in a neon green or red light. "Hey," mused Olimar. "Those two look like me and Louie when we're in our spacesuits!" "&$!" said the boss. "Louie isn't drunk!" The invasion of hocotate frate continued, as the bulborb armies started smashing up the hocotate frate buildings and causing pandemonium. "The only chance I have of stopping our company from getting totally destroyed is getting my space suit, taking our ship to the pikmin planet, gathering up a pikmin army, and coming back here to stop these creatures! But getting my suit won't be easy! I'll have to go in the alien mother ship, sneak past the space pirates, go through the chozo temple and…" "Um, I think you're getting mixed up with a different game. Your suit is at the drycleaners" cut in Olimar's boss. " Oh… Oops" said Olimar. As he walked out the door of the building where his boss's office was, he was confronted by the two peculiar spacesuit donning bulborbs. "This time, with our new strategy "If you can't beat them, rip them off", we're bringing the battle to your planet this time!" said the red one, even as the green one whistled and about ten dwarf red, white, and orange bulborbs came running over. Olimar tried to run, but the red one floored him with one kick. The bulborbs, which were surprisingly fast on their short stubby legs, had surrounded Olimar by the time he had gotten up. "Bwahaha, bow down to our might, small mammal!" said the green one. Olimar said the only thing that could come to his mind. "Look, somebody wrote "gullible" on the ceiling!" blurted out Olimar. "Please, we're not even inside! How gullible do you think we…" The red spacesuit wearing bulborb stopped as realized that everybody but him was staring upwards, except Olimar, who was running away. "D'oh!" grunted the bulborb. Olimar sprinted towards the dry cleaners, but was stopped by a dwarf bulbear. Olimar hit it with a flurry of punches, causing a health meter to appear above it's head, and then decrease until it turned yellow. Quicker then a wink, Olimar had his cell phone out and was calling the Namco corporation before the bulbear had known what had hit it! "Ugh… wait, how would calling Namco help Olimar?" pondered the bulbear. Then realization dawned as the bulbear looked up, noticing that the health bar above it's head looked just like Pac-Man. But it was too late for it, as Namco lawyers had already arrived on the scene and began suing the living daylights out of the poor bulbear.

Meanwhile, on the pikmin planet… A yellow suited dwarf bulborb that looked like Olimar's boss in his spacesuit was gathering up forces to slay the pikmin. He was just revealing himself to one red pikmin onion with a force of 2 armored cannon beetle larva, one red bulborb, and 6 male sheergrubs. "Now is the time to prove myself to my red and blue suited brethren that I can competently exterminate the pikmin! Troops… ATTACK!"

Bob the red pikmin woke up one morning to the shaking of his onion as it was pounded by huge rocks launched from the guts of 2 armored cannon beetle larvas. He and every other pikmin in the onion, except for one, went outside to find out what was going on. They were 14 in number. "Any last words, pik-morons?" chuckled the yellow suited bulborb. "Yeah, replied Bob, "We defeated you in the last two games, so what makes you think you can defeat us now?" "This" said the bulborb, taking something out of it's pocket. "Noooooooo! We're all doomed! PANIC!" Bob screamed as soon as he saw what it was.

Cliffhanger! Can Olimar safely get to the dry - cleaners? What is it that Bob's so afraid of? Can Louie deliver the shipment without eating it? Will I ever stop asking these stupid questions? Tell me if you like my story, and all suggestions are welcome.