Unfortunate as it was to be awake, there was something hypnotic about the sound of a ceiling fan, and startling when it stops out of nowhere. Certainly, he'd been asleep- for once-, but Jesse McCree was always jumpy, and even moreso now. Keep expecting his boogeyman to appear out of nowhere and punish him or somethin like that. He rubbed his face, and stood to go wash his face and piss, his face gaunt, looking like he was some sort of raccoon sans tail.
After usin the restroom, he went over to the mirror and rubbed his face, using his thumbs to rub at the darkened circles beneath his eyes, and washed his face off a bit in the mirror, before he absently spotted something in his hair, and he took a closer look, turning on the shitty fluorescent lights in the bathroom to look and stare in disbelief.
He was staring, because that was the first grey hair he'd found in his hair- or, also known as, another cause to fucking drink. Because, what the shit? Goddamn, he was barely fucking past 30 and here he is, gettin' grey's like fuckin' Morrison? It was perhaps a sign of a larger problem, but Lord God above knew that getting Jesse McCree to admit he had a problem- or a few- was too much trouble to bother with.
And so, he stared at it absently a little bit longer, but just shrugged and went with it, leaning away from the mirror. If life's gonna throw him another curveball, ain't his place to not react like he usually does. There wasn't a fuckin 'usual' anymore, anyways. Not anymore.
Jesse removed his makeshift flask from his hip, an emptied out flash bang, and enjoyed vaguely warm bourbon- warmed from where he'd slept on top of it- at 7 in the morning. It's five o' clock somewhere, and high noon somewhere else. Time is an illusion, he heard Reyes saying out of irritation with McCree in his head, echoing as well as it could, given the cotton stuffed up in his head. He set the flask down on the countertop of his ramshackle quarter's bathroom, shaking his head as he tugged out the grey hair. His Pa hadn't gone grey until 45, what the shit was this?
This time, Angela's voice spoke from the back of his head, warning him about his smoking habits coming back to haunt him. He promptly picked the flask back up and downed another warm gulp. He'd been smokin' since before he could drive. That aint a habit no one's gonna be able to break, so why bother?
And really, it wasn't nothing a cigar and a bottle of hair dye wouldn't fix. N' all else failing, he's sure the doc can get him patched up anyway. Angie might not approve of his vices, but damn if she didn't do a decent job keepin' him in line elsewhere.
He looked down at his left side problem in its sling though, and he had to down another burning sip of alcohol. Nothing like warm bourbon first thing in the morning to remind him that he's living the dream, right?
As he placed the flask back on his belt, he took out a cigar and lit it, breathing in the smoke. As he watched the glow of the television out of the corner of his eye, he found himself thinking that Angela might have her work cut out for her already.
XXXXX
Ever since the Null Sector uprising in London, things had been damn crazy around base. Reyes and Morrison were under some kinda serious investigation now, and Petras was practically frothing at the mouth in preparation of fucking Jack and Gabe over. Now granted, they were awfully handsome but really, if it was Jesse doing it he'd be a bit more polite about telling them to bend over and take it. Morrison in particular, because the man had always seemed a fair bit shier in terms of real intimacy. He was no stranger to shoutin' out orders, but as one of the few who attended their lil' get-togethers, he knew full well its remarkably difficult to get him to open up in general, let alone to that sorta thing.
Reyes, well, that had become an entirelydifferent thing.
And Jesse was rolling in right on time.
"McCree." Reyes' voice was snappy, his brown eyes staring hard, like miles of empty desert, at him accusingly- accusing him of somethin' terrible, but really it was deserved on some level. He knew he reeked of bourbon, but hell, if its high noon somewhere in the world, then it was also 5 o' clock somewhere else in the world. "Why are you drinking? It's not even eight yet."
He blew out a bit of smoke, and gave a lazy grin. "Darlin', it was either bourbon or pain pills, and you know which one of those vices I'm functional on." Holding up his sling a bit before he winced. "N' don't you dare send me back to quarters. I know ya need some help. Senior Blackwatch agent McCree, reporting for duty."
There was something like pain, or guilt like somethin' awful, in Gabe's eyes for a heartbeat as he eyed his stump of an arm, before it was covered up quickly with a scoff, looking away. "You know you have another 2 weeks- at least- of leave, McCree. The fuck are you doing here?" He gave Jesse another, slightly incredulous once over.
"Awh, hun," Jesse whined, going over to his desk and sitting in the chair backwards with his chin resting up on top of the back of it. "C'mon babe, I'm gettin' stir crazy. Y'all know Angie assigns too much leave in case we use it for other unofficial things."
"She doesn't assign whole months for pseudo vacations McCree." He quickly tossed back his reply, squinting at him. "You should be in bed. Sober up, take your pills, and then go to sleep. You know you need the rest with...everything thats going on." He rolled his eyes. "Stubborn man." And yet, something there had softened slightly.
"I don't like the way the pills make me feel, sir." He admitted quietly, sighing. "At least lemme help you with the paperwork monster m' sure Petras has been glad to feed and raise to Godzilla sized proportions." He pointed with a thumb to where it had started piling up on the floor, and Gabriel barely hid the look of irritation he had when Jesse mentioned Petras' name, before the rest of what he'd said had registered.
"You, offering to do paperwork?" At this, Gabe smiled, and then even gave a small chuckle. "You must be getting really bad. Fine, take some of the stack, and sit over here Jesse." He offered with an affectionate, if exasperated head shake.
It wasn't much, and it definitely wasn't what Jesse had hoped for, but it was something, and so he eagerly parked his ass in Gabe's spare chair and helped him to start to make a dent in the paperwork monster. But that was almost a metaphor- allegory; Reyes' voice in his head reminded him with amused admonishment for getting the literary term wrong, an echo of times gone by- for the 'thing' that he and Reyes had become.
Now, Jesse McCree was not the kinda person who would sit ya down and ask in a careful voice, what are we. Jesse McCree was the kinda fella who would some day go down in history as a man with a big ego, a bigger dick, and a sex drive the size of the damn sun. At least, that was somewhat how Angie put it.
And when Gabriel Reyes had come to him about a month before the Uprising and wrapped his arms around him tight and told him to fuck him so hard he couldn't think about what was wrong, far be it from him to turn him down. Matter of fact- he'd secretly been fantasizing about the two of them getting together for at least 10 years.
But here they were, half a year after that and not much to show for it 'sides some damn good sex and a stink eye from Morrison every now and again that he said was from getting him in trouble by being in London completely unauthorized, and yet, it was the kinda look that he knew only could come from sleeping with his ex. And the way that it came off was that it was almost somethin' more. Something to rival the 20 years Jack and Gabe had spent together.
But whatever they had between them wasn't much, and definitely not what Jesse had hoped for. But it was something. And therefore, he threw himself at Reyes and tried to shoulder some of his burden.
Perhaps at his own expense even. But see if you could get him to admit that aloud. Now that'd be a new Jesse McCree challenge all its own.
Regardless, Jesse came over to him and gently kissed his cheek as he picked up a stack of paperwork to take from Gabriel, and got a smile in return, before Gabriel gently cupped his cheek and brought him into a proper kiss.
"Thank you," he murmured, and it felt like all was right in the world.
XXXXX
They'd been visiting Gabriel's sister in California to cool off a bit after Blackwatch was suspended."Doesn't the UN know that that complaint from the Japanese government was placed originally by the Yakuza?"He asked, lazily letting his cigarette smoke drift in the faint wind.
The Reyes' family vacation house was a fuckin' beach house down in San Diego, and it was then more than ever that McCree felt something terribly domestic between him and Gabe because it was just them, his sister Isabel, her husband, and their boy.
A loud scoff, and Gabe rolled his eyes."They don't care where the complaint came from, Jesse, they know we exist now and the public demands answers."He spat on the floor."And I can't even go to them and explain it.My death from the public eye has finally come back to haunt us.And God knows that cornfucker Morrison won't be able to smooth this one over."
Silence reigned, and Jesse rubbed his eyes. "Well, reckon he'll try?" He asked carefully, with a raised brow.
Gabe gave a short, terse nod. "Yeah, he'll try. But he prolly won't succeed. Wasn't ever good at this part of things- he's good when he's in his element. Now, taking credit for someone else's work, that he's good at, that's definitely, unquestionably in his element."
Jesse threw him a pointed look."Someone who aint over his ex yet says what?"
Gabriel's brown eyes were hardened and unimpressed, like the deep color of wood in the winter, standing firm against the storm."Absolutely mature of you, McCree.Jack and I parted on mutual terms.We both knew it was coming for a long time, and when it happened it was completely necessary. Any comments I make now have nothing to do with our break up."
"And that'smature?"Jesse rolled his eyes."We're both old enough now to know even if things were entirely mutually exclusive in ending it, ya still can have some bitterness in you.And you know? That's fine.We're old enough to say that even if we're bitter about things ending, you can still have something, right?Be friends, be happy.All that jazz. You just gotta learn to let some of it go."
Reyes was looking at him funny then, and Jesse had to cough suddenly, the gaze too much, and Gabriel had to point up to break the silence."Hey, look." He grinned at Jesse, and Jesse followed his fingertips with his eyes to see a few people heading up to go cliffdiving."You ever do that?"
"Didn't grow up on the beach, bossman."Jesse pointed out, shrugging."Now, if we wanna talk about climbing up shit, I can do that.Pa always said Ma would roll in her grave if she saw me doin' it, but never stopped me. I was a right mountain goat, er, somethin' like it."
Gabriel laughed, hard and shaking some in the sand, before he stood up, his brown eyes turned amber in the sunset."Its much easier to go with gravity than the reverse.C'mon cowboy.Its fun."
"Damn Gabe, my Pa always asked if my friends jumped off a bridge, would I follow."Jesse threw back, and there was more laughter as Gabriel's hand wrapped tight around his own.
"It's not a bridge, it's a cliff.Just don't bellyflop and you'll be fine."He clarified with a smirk and a roll of his eyes.
Neither of them said a damn thing when Jesse squeezed back and they walked hand and hand up to the cliffs.
And at the top of the cliff, staring down at the Pacific Ocean, they jumped, the deep blue sea a gaping abyss in front of them, a known unknown.
XXXXX
After much bitching at Angie for something productive to do, given that his vacation time was actually nil, considering he was trapped on this damn base, under investigation for why he was in London, McCree was finally cleared for menial labor. And he still had to go cook her a proper meal (or 10) in thanks. Now see, the woman was an absolute god send when it came to medicine, and the good lord above knew that she couldn't so much as follow a box recipe for water without burning something.
In her defense, of course, she'd grown up getting takeout meals from the state as she went through college at 12-16, and had entered medical school at 17. And before that, well, her folks ain't never shown her the way around the kitchen. That was a far more legitimate reason than Genji's reason for mooching off of McCree's cooking- that he'd grown up with butlers and maids to do that sort of thing for him.
And as he was stacking boxes and helping move documents for the internal investigation in a poorly disguised to show he's a team player and suck up to Petras some, he couldn't find it within himself to really dislike the work. It wasn't much, but it means that he had a fuckin' reason to get up and shower and be productive and not get completely hammered first thing in the morning. And that, well, that was better than nothin. Ana's voice was in the back of his mind, feeding into the feeling that he needs to raise his standards for himself some up from, "better than nothing."
And speaking of Ana...
"McCree! What on earth are you doing out of bed?" She came over, absolutely exasperated.
"Ma'am, I asked Angela for something to do, and something in particular that will help with the ass kissing y'all have to give Petras." He said, resting his remaining arm against the stack of boxes he was moving.
She frowned, but sighed. "If Angela allows it, then I cannot say anything against it. I was on my way to see her myself- I'm also taking some time to catch up on office work, but that's because of my leave from field work.
"Ah. Ramadan Mubarak, Ana." He remembered absently, and she gave a tired smile. "When did it start?"
"It's almost over, McCree," She raised an eyebrow and smiled in some affection, even as he balked at learning he'd practically missed it. "I'm impressed you remembered, though- yes, it started the 4th of October this year. Remember, it's a lunar calendar McCree."
"I try my best ma'am, course I do- I always try to be respectful." He grinned, and she waved a hand at him, shaking her head in amusement with a vague whisper of such a charmer. "It started 2 weeks later last time. Fareeha coming 'round for Eid?"
"She is not," Ana admitted quietly. "She's getting a job with Helix Security right now- currently she's in Nigeria. She's very upset with me for Overwatch's refusal to hire her, but I hope in this time she will come to understand my decision." She looked at her hands. "But this is not the life I want for her. After Amelie and Gerard, and then now, with all of us under international criminal investigation...this is something that could ruin her career, if not outright kill her for her connection to me."
"Mmm," he nodded slowly, thinking over how to respond. "Kids can be hard, I reckon. My Pa always told me I'd be somethin' special." He grinned, the expression self-deprecating. "N' where m' I now? After being a gang member for several years, I'm now bein' court marshaled."
Ana waved a hand in disagreement, huffing. "Shush." She ordered, shaking her head. "We're all in that boat. Come to Iftar tonight, its going to be a meeting with all of us. Regardless of everything, we're family, and I will take care of my own."
"Who all's coming?" He asked in a somewhat skeptical voice.
"Gabriel, Jack, Reinhardt, Torbjörn, Angela, and myself are all going to be there- ideally, you'd be there as well." She informed with a smile. "Winston and Tracer might also drop in, and if we're truly lucky, so will Genji."
He had to take a moment and think about that, and she lightly smacked his head. "No, you will come. I know you will. Genji won't stay for long even if he does make an appearance. And I know you like Tracer, at least." She gave him a hard look, a stern look that reminded him of how his Pa would come along and tell him to come eat, not if he would come eat.
He smiled at her, if somewhat tiredly, because he knew her intentions were good, and he knew it was definitely good for him to get out and actually talk to people.
"What time, Ana?" He asked with an eyebrow raise.
"Ah." She hummed. "Come around 21 hundred hours, McCree."
"So late!" He exclaimed, his eyebrows raised because that meant the poor woman wasn't eating or drinking until 9 at night. "Good lord. And Suhor is... god, tryn'ta remember..."
"It's around 3 am." She admitted with a shrug. "I always have to wean myself off of coffee before it, otherwise I would become unbearable." She sighed. "That, and cigarettes. I am eternally grateful, alhamdulilah, that I broke that vice many years ago. And that the UN grants me time off every month so that I do not have to fight during the month."
"I'll definitely join you all tonight. Has the rookie ever broke your fast with you?" He confirmed without another thought, before having to ask.
She softened, and shook her head. "No, she hasn't! Ah, it will be interesting." She gave a sly smile. "Thank you for reminding me, I'll have to wear my traditional dress... I'll culture our Brit yet." She winked, and waved as she decided to finish the conversation. "I will see you later, Jesse. Please take care of yourself."
XXXXX
It was over a cup of juice that Ana had apparently brought from Cairo the last time she'd visited that the new and old members of Overwatch were able to refamiliarize themselves with each other again.
"McCree! You look better!" Tracer exclaimed when she saw him, and Angela rolled her eyes and whispered something to Winston, inevitably getting a snort from him. Probably about how it was against his every single action to be looking better.
"Yep, Doc patched me up real nice." He agreed with his trademarked and copyrighted easy smile, grabbing three dates to follow Ana's usual advice, and she looked pleased as he then helped himself to one of the sweets he never remembered the name of as she enjoyed her soup.
"Glad to see you around." Jack admitted with a huff, eating some of her soup with her. "Watching Gabriel pace has been a game with a growing following in the base." There was a round of laughter that went around the table, and Gabriel was clearly slightly embarrassed to get called out like that by his ex.
"Speaking of games." Ana smirked, holding up her decks of cards, and Torbjörn cheered at the sight of them.
"Are we going to play the fun version this time?" He smirked, and Reinhardt shook his head in amusement.
"Please, we have the rookie. We play the tame version."
Tracer was quick to voice her displeasure, but Ana was already passing out the phase 10 cards and Jesse was chuckling as he threw her a vaguely amused smirk.
"Ya Ana, the Fun version? Haraam," He sipped his tea quietly as she belted out a fast laugh, and Lena made a confused noise, and Jack quietly explained that alcohol might be involved in the fun version of the game, and it was forbidden in Islam, even though occasionally there were moments Ana might not always be a very strict practicing Muslim.
"The more appropriate version is just a game we play around here to keep getting to know each other. It's hard to play, but we always wind up learning new things!" Reinhardt explained cheerfully. "And we now have you and Winston playing! Two newbies who will be having to explain much of themselves if we call them out as not doing too well." He winked.
"I'm gonna have a hard time with this." He admitted. "Only have one hand. Darlin', mind if I join your team?" He gave Gabriel a knowing smile, and Ana and Jack both pretended to praise the lord above as Gabriel laughed and kissed him when he sat on his lap.
"You're answering, babe." Gabriel added easily, and McCree shrugged as he settled, handing his cards to Angela so that Ana could sit down and continue drinking water to rehydrate.
Winston looked confused. "Is Agent McCree dating Commander Reyes?" He asked, looking between them, and then trying to process that. "Isn't that a breach in…well, protocol? Especially since they're in the same unit."
"Winston, good question, but fraternizing ain't really against protocol. Iffin the UN ever had other ideas, they woulda had to take it up with Jack and Gabriel, long before I ever got into the picture." McCree gave a lazy smile. "Gabe n' I ain't never have a relationship that was usual. This all is a more recent development, but the good lord above knows that its safe, sane, and consensual, and the current group message title isn't, 'Fuck the UN,' for nothin."
Ana snapped her fingers in approval, and Jack had to look away some as Gabriel and him kissed, but things seemed easy enough as light laughter went around their circle of friends, and Torbjörn gossiped away as Angela subtly shot him a look for saying that in front of their Strike Commander, but he and Jack had come to an understanding over the years.
Their card game was actually very fun, and Gabriel wasn't a bad hand at cards, but Ana was a certified card shark, and Lena was surprisingly good as well. Over a cup of tea that McCree had none too subtly spiked, he was made to answer the question of how his parents would view him now.
Jesse sat up some on Gabriel's lap, and huffed. "Well, Luis DiAngelo McCree was a good man, and a good father. He'd prolly be wondering how the hell his boy is gonna be court-martialed for doing the one definitively good thing in his entire damn "adult" life."
"You were not an adult," Ana frowned in no small amount of disagreement when he spoke of his time as Deadlock as though he were an adult.
"Hey, listen, I ain't ever got what was your deal is with this, though. Being entirely frank, I'd been on my own, paid for all my damn food and stolen the things I couldn't buy. Which was how I'd been taken by Deadlock to begin with. And honestly, the only thing I do differently in Overwatch is pay fuckin' taxes on pay the shit I buy, and that's offensive to my very sensibilities." Jesse harrumphed as he sat up completely straight, a picture of imperial grace, before he had to snort and shrug some.
Ana continues to look incredibly unimpressed even as there was laughter all around the table at his response. He'd always been a good funnyman. Good at making light of the things in life that were shitty. Letting other people laugh at his pain so they wouldn't really get worried about him- it was his speciality.
In the brief moment that he'd zoned out and sipped his spiked drink, he had missed something, because Gabriel was nudging him quietly.
"Mmm?" He looked up, focusing again on Tracer.
"What, exactly is the Jesse McCree challenge?" She asked, a smile on her face- genuine and everything. He could hardly understand how she managed to remain so bright and happy. "I heard about it from Genji, but he didn't really give me a straight answer."
"Awh, hell. That's easy. So, see, when I first joined." He began, and Gabriel laughed, covering his face as he struggled to stop and say, nooooo babe,before Jesse embarrassed himself. "I was able to beat him in unarmed one to one. I was this skinny ass, weak, half-starved 17 year old, up against the big bad war hero, and his team, and I won."
Gabriel laughed. "He's saying that he was weak, but we underestimated him because he was so skinny. Thought he was just some punk, and then he's able to get a gun to my head, myhead, as in, me, the super soldier, before my team was able to subdue him. It was quite the surprise, and I knew that he had a lot of untapped potential. Ever since then, though, we like to set up the challenge so that new recruits to Blackwatch- if they can get a gun to my head, they can get out of 2 weeks of basic."
Gabriel gently smooched him, and smiled. "However, only Jesse's been able to repeat it. He's gotten even better at it, though."
"Awh, Darlin." He put his hand over his heart as something melted, and Jack rolled his eyes some as he mumbled something about how it was only just because they were dating.
"Hey, you take that back!" Gabriel defended in faux outrage. "We dated, Pretty Boy, and you didn't ever once succeed in the challenge!"
There was an argument, and Gabriel wholeheartedly supported Jesse and his abilities over Morrison, watching as Ana stepped in and he joked that she always took his side, and then there was a low blow that Gabriel quickly shot back a fast, "Stop it, Strike Commander Pettison."
There was just something so easy about this, even though Jesse wasn't necessarily participating in the conversation, it just all felt warm, and Jesse felt like he was important, that he mattered, even when Gabriel was interacting with Jack. There was something absolutely magnetic about him, so absolutely warm and caring and truly, everything.He was the ideal, everything Jesse had ever wanted.
And that's hardly scratchin' the surface as to why Jesse loved Gabriel.
He watched with no small amount of affection towards Gabriel as he gave Morrison a brutal noogie- some much needed tension being released with it, before he pulled the strike commander coat off and up over his head after getting the jump on him, Tracer and the others all laughing and encouraging the playful fight.
He was laughing some kinda way as Gabriel gave him a meaningful look, catching his gaze and suddenly making him realize what the fuck was going on his head.
Full stop.
Love?
Who in the fuck authorized that gay nonsense?
