Sharf Den
Sharf Den
by DawningStar

Alai--

Some are calling me Alai. I am a Sharf Den, one of a race who sees time in a rather strange way--we are watching every possibility that might be happening in any now at once.

I am apologizing. I do not translate well to this language, or any other language besides my own. I am having a specific assignment; to thank a group who is saving us, and to apologize for the actions of the children our race is adopting. Their former guardian, Crayak, is abandoning them. We are not thinking much of him in any case.

"Are you being all right here?" I am asking the representative I am bringing with me.

Riyadh is nodding. "I'll be fine for a while. How long do you think it will be before they get here?" His bright blue eyes are showing a bit of nervousness. Understandable.

"Now. Everything is now. You should be understanding that," I am chiding. "Are you forgetting again?" I do not forget, and it seems to me that anyone with a racial memory shouldn't be forgetting such a basic thing either.

He is looking down. "I suppose I did forget. I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to see things the way you do."

I pat his shoulder comfortingly. "Do not be worrying. You are not seeing time as we do, so it is hard for you to grasp it. It is coming."

With a short sigh, Riyadh is lowering himself into a crouch in the straw. I am supposing all the memories of military training are not letting him relax easily.

Putting on the sunglasses I must be wearing to fully appear human, I walk out of the barn where the Animorphs are meeting in an after-now. There are still things I have to be doing before we are meeting them.

Riyadh--

I settled back into the straw in a small room made of wood, perhaps for keeping animals in, as Alai left with the swift, completely silent stride even I have never been able to master. She'd taken on human shape on this trip, to avoid attracting attention, but no Sharf Den can completely hide the brilliant shade of their eyes. Hers are vivid purple, gleaming brightly in the right light.

Alai and I both volunteered for this mission. She is my guardian, and has been for as long as I've been alive--although I can remember much farther back than that. I wish I couldn't.

My race has no name of our own. The people we destroyed before the Sharf Den adopted us have called us many things--most widespread is the name Howlers. Alai says that when we find a name for ourselves, we will be adult enough to make our own decisions.

I know we'll never go back to the way we were before. Not now that we know that the races we annihilated are--were--sentient people.

Here on Earth are the only survivors of a Howler attack that remember us. The Chee, android creations of the Pemalites, have lived in hiding ever since we destroyed their creators. Alai is here to thank a group that gave us the first hint that what we did was wrong. I am here to apologize to the Chee, and offer whatever help we can give. I don't look forward to it. I know I have to do it, but it'll be hard.

I watched the barn door anxiously, straining my senses for any hint of Alai's return. I hoped she'd get back before anyone else appeared--although that was a time-based worry and she probably wouldn't understand it. I'm trying to readjust my thinking, but it's awfully difficult.

A small bird in a cage not far from the stalls rustled--I mean, is rustling--its feathers. I looked toward it quickly. Am looking. Oh, forget this, I thought, and tried to relax and rest for a while. Alai would be back when she was back, and that would be in plenty of time to meet the Chee and their friends.

Tobias--

The first strange thing that day happened before I'd even caught my breakfast. There was a glimpse of motion in the grass. I turned my head, ready to dive toward whatever small creature might have caused the movement.

But nothing was there. A faint footprint that hadn't been there before--but it must have been my imagination, because it vanished even as I tried to focus on it...

I felt dizzy for a moment, briefly disoriented, and it was long minutes before I ventured to fly away.

Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill--

I struck at the tree with my tail-blade once again, and again hit it perfectly. It was a bit monotonous--I wished once again that I had someone else to practice with. But there was only the tree, scarred from several misjudged attacks.

Readying for another swipe, I cocked my tail-blade, aiming for the curved side of the trunk.

Suddenly, I thought I saw a human between the tree and my blade. I jerked away, and my tail-blade drove into the side of the tree at a bad angle. I had a hard time getting it free, scanning the area with my stalk eyes the whole time. But there was no trace of the human shape I'd seen.

Rachel--

I picked up a sweater to compare the color and price with the one I already held, then put it back. A stack of clothes was already in my arms, and I really shouldn't add anything to it.

Turning toward the checkout counter, I accidentally bumped into someone. Starting to apologize, I caught a glimpse of a brown-haired girl--but then there was nothing there. I blinked hard, and walked toward the checkout shaking my head.

Marco--

I dug in my pocket for another quarter, but I was out. With a sigh, I began to turn away.

An unfamiliar girl's voice said, "You are dropping this." I caught a brief glimpse of motion near the game I had been playing, but then nothing.

A quarter now lay on the console, but no one was anywhere nearby.

Erek--

It was as though a fellow Chee had flickered their hologram near me. Just a brief glimpse of a young human girl. I ran the image through an optical enhancer, but it only blurred.

Probably nothing. A glitch of some sort. I would have to run a diagnostic some other time.

Jake--

Tom knocked on my door and called in, "Cassie's here!"

"Okay!" I called back. I opened the door and started down the stairs. Tom had already retreated to his own room, my Controller brother playing the part of the older sibling to perfection.

Cassie and I were going to the mall together. We'd be meeting Rachel there for a little shopping, then getting something to eat at the food court, and maybe seeing a movie afterwards. Just a nice, normal day, the kind I so rarely got as leader of the Animorphs.

Cassie was waiting just outside, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. A dark stain discolored the jeans on one side. I decided I didn't really want to know what had caused it. Cassie works in the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic, in her barn, and she deals with a lot of animals. Not all of them are particularly clean.

She smiled. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," I replied, smiling back. I shut the door behind myself, and we started on the walk toward the mall. We took the long way around. The memories of the abandoned construction site long months ago were too fresh still for any of us to travel through it regularly.

We were about halfway there when I noticed Cassie glancing over her shoulder frequently, a small frown on her face. "Is something wrong?" I asked quietly.

She shook her head very slightly. "I think there's a girl following us," she told me. "I can't seem to get a good look at her, but she's always there."

I felt a chill go down my back. Anyone following us might be a Controller. If the Yeerks suspected we were human, it wouldn't be long before they found out our identities. "We'll take a longer route, make sure she is following us. If she is..." I trailed off. There might be some perfectly innocent reason the girl was following us, and then again she might be trying to find out whether or not we were the so-called Andalite bandits.

Yes, I know I'm paranoid. I've had to be ever since I became an Animorph.

Cassie nodded slightly, and turned down a different street.

Now we were in a narrower alley, and no one was ahead of us. Cassie threw a surreptitious glance over her shoulder, and let out a soft gasp. I spun, ready to morph or fight.

For an instant, I thought I saw a slight child with sunglasses and long brown hair just behind us, then nothing. "What is it, Cassie?"

Cassie gestured to the empty space where the image had been. "Don't you see her?"

I frowned. "See who?"

An exasperated sigh issued from midair, and the girl I'd thought I'd seen flickered into view. She looked at Cassie curiously. "How are you doing that?" she asked. "Humans are not seeing me often, when I am not wishing it."

"I don't know," Cassie said warily. "Who are you?"

"You are calling me Alai," the child replied. "I am being Sharf Den. I am having business with the Animorphs, and with the Chee. I will be seeing you at the barn, when you are meeting." With a cheery smile, Alai vanished again.

But Cassie still watched the place Alai had been, slowly turning toward the street.

Cassie--

I stared at the Sharf Den as she walked away. Her outline was blurred, as it had been at first, and now Jake didn't seem to notice her.

"You can still see her?" Jake asked quietly.

I nodded. "Not very clearly, but I can tell where she is. What do you think? Is she a danger to us?"

Jake shrugged. "I suppose we'll find out. There doesn't seem to be much we can do about her for now. But we'd better tell the others-and the Chee. She mentioned them as well." He looked ruefully at me. "I guess our shopping trip is ruined."

"Rachel's going to be mad," I predicted. "She wanted to buy me a whole new wardrobe."

"You go back and tell Ax and Tobias what happened. Rachel and Marco are probably at the mall, so I'll tell them," Jake directed. "And call Erek. We'll meet at your barn and see if this Alai really does show."

Riyadh--

I started slightly as Alai appeared, stepping through possibilities into this now. I could never get used to that particular ability of the Sharf Den. "Did you find them all?" I asked.

Alai's face wore an expression of puzzlement. "I am finding all of the Animorphs well enough, but Cassie is seeing me. It is being very strange."

My eyes grew wide in shock. "She saw you even when you weren't in the same time? I thought that was impossible!"

"For anyone who is not seeing time, it is," Alai agreed. "I am believing that Cassie may be receiving a gift, from one of my people or from the Ellimist. Most likely a Sharf Den, as the Ellimist cannot be interfering here."

I nodded. "That makes sense. Do you know who gave her the gift?"

She shrugged. "No. If I am seeing right, it is happening in an after-now. It is possible I am giving it to her, or that someone else is. Or that it is not happening, and it is only a maybe-now."

For a moment, I tried to puzzle out that sentence, then gave it up. One of these days I'll figure out Alai's time-view, but it won't be in any now nearby. "Where are the Animorphs, now?"

"Coming. They are here..." Alai frowned. She really tries to translate to my time-view, but it's as hard for her as it is for me. "They are here in an after-now very close."

Just then, I heard voices outside the barn. 'Close' was the word for it, all right. I looked to Alai nervously for instructions.

She smiled sympathetically. "You are keeping out of sight for a few minutes?" she suggested. "I am introducing myself before I bring you up. It is being safer that way."

"Okay," I agreed, a little relieved. I knew that the Animorphs might regard me as an enemy, and the Chee certainly would. It would be better if Alai had a chance to explain first. I reentered the small, separate room, positioning myself where it would be all but impossible to see me. Probably unnecessary--Alai would likely displace me slightly in time, making me invisible. Although this Cassie might be able to see through that.

I accessed the racial memory, pouring in my own thoughts and receiving brief images of what had been going on back home. I didn't look at any of it more closely. The important thing was to let everyone know what was happening here.

Cassie--

Didn't the Ellimist mention something about the Sharf Den after we beat the Howlers on the Iskoort planet?> Tobias wondered, soaring above Ax and I on our way to the barn from the forest.

Yes,> replied Ax. The Ellimist said that the Sharf Den were a race that the Howlers would attack six months from then, but would fail to destroy.> Ax was in his human morph, but he was using thought-speak to make it easier for Tobias to hear.

I nodded. "And it's been a little more than six months now. So maybe Alai's come to help us out?"

We can hope so, at any rate,> said Tobias. Although I wish I knew how she got here. And how she found out we were the ones who helped her people out, at least indirectly.>

Perhaps the Ellimist told them,> Ax suggested. Or perhaps they learned on their own. We have no way of knowing what powers the Sharf Den might have, despite Alai's appearance to you as a human child.>

We had nearly reached the barn when Erek the Chee stepped seemingly out of nowhere, assuming his usual hologram of a human boy. "I got your message," he told me, falling into step with Ax and I. "It was a little short on details. Who said she was going to meet us here?"

"Her name is Alai," I explained. "She says she's a Sharf Den, but she looks human. She mentioned you, and she said that she would be at the barn when we're all together."

Erek frowned. "Do you think it might be a trap? Maybe one Crayak set up?"

Of course the android would remember the Ellimist's mention of the Sharf Den. I shrugged. "It can't be the Yeerks, and I don't see what Crayak would gain by this. Alai could have gotten rid of us before. She must want to talk, or she wouldn't want to see us all together."

"That makes sense," Erek agreed. "But I sure hope you're right."

I did, too.

Jake, Rachel, and Marco walked up just then. "Is she here yet?" Jake asked.

"Not yet," I said as we all entered the barn together--and abruptly she was. There was a startled thought-speak yelp from Tobias.

Alai was sitting calmly on the ground near the animal cages. "I am Alai," she announced to us all. "I am apologizing for my appearances to you all. It is being necessary to be sure this is correct."

Marco's eyes widened. "So you were the one who gave me that extra quarter! What did you do to it? I got farther than I ever have before in that game."

The Sharf Den removed her sunglasses, revealing bright purple eyes, and laughed. "You are dropping it, planner. I am doing nothing."

The tension broken, Jake asked, "Why are you here?"

"There are being three reasons--perhaps four. The first is to thank you. The Animorphs--and you, representative of the Chee," she acknowledged Erek, "are doing the Sharf Den a great service by giving the Howlers their first glimpse that what they are doing then is wrong."

Jake relaxed. Very slightly. "And the second reason?"

Alai winced. She turned to Erek. "I am apologizing, Erek," she said. "This is being hard for you. But the second reason I am being here has to do with the Howlers." She turned to a stall at the other end of the barn. "Riyadh?" she called.

Slowly, reluctantly, the door swung open. A Howler stepped out.

Instantly, Rachel was morphing to grizzly bear, shaggy fur rippling down her skin. Just slightly slower, Marco was morphing his gorilla. Ax was already halfway into Andalite form.

Alai stepped in front of the Howler. "He is having no weapons," she told the two firmly. "There is no danger to you or any of your friends."

I took a closer look at the Howler, comparing him with my memories from the Iskoort world. He wore no belts, no weapons, and even his claws seemed less sharp, somehow. As if they had been filed down. "She's right."

If you don't mind, I think I'll stay like this,> Rachel growled. He's still got that howl.>

Erek was staring at the Howler, his holographic face full of emotion. Not fear. His expression was one of pure hate. I supposed I understood--after all, the Howlers had annihilated the Pemalites, his creators, and dozens of other races. Erek knew that firsthand. He had absorbed the Howlers' racial memory while we were on the Iskoort planet.

The Howler took a deep breath. The blank, blue eyes showed no emotion, but I saw fright in his stance. But not of us. That blue gaze was locked on Erek.

Alai moved to the side. "Go on, Riyadh," she said, her tone gentle. Soothing. It reminded me of...what? An older sister?

"I am the representative of the race you know as the Howlers," Riyadh began. "We attacked the Sharf Den, with the intent of destroying them. But the memory given to us by Jake let us begin to see that what we did--what Crayak ordered us to do--was wrong. The Sharf Den became our guardians, and continued to teach us. I have come..." The Howler's voice gave out. He started again. "I have come to make amends in whatever way I can."

Erek stepped forward, but his expression didn't change. He laughed coldly. "Sure you have. You know the Chee are programmed against violence. You just want to tie up the loose ends."

Riyadh reached for something back in the stall. Everyone was instantly on guard. Slowly, he brought out a crystal no larger than a grape, scintillating like diamond in the light. It gave off a very faint hum. I recognized it.

"A Pemalite crystal!" gasped Erek.

We had seen a Pemalite crystal once before. Then, Erek had used it to reprogram himself. He had gotten rid of a whole platoon of Controllers. Fast. Incredibly fast.

The Howler held it out to Erek. "That programming need not remain. You could remove it, with this."

Erek took the crystal distrustfully, and looked at it. "It's genuine," he said. "Why would you give it to me?"

Riyadh stared at the ground. "Because of what we did. Because the Chee hate us. Because such hate must be extinguished." He met Erek's eyes. "Whatever it takes."

I glanced at Alai. She looked far more frightened than the Howler, hands tightly clasped together and violet eyes fixed on Erek and Riyadh as though she could see something I couldn't--

Except that, briefly, I could. Images of Erek and Riyadh were superimposed on the real ones, who seemed to be frozen. The image of Erek concentrated on the crystal, and then approached Riyadh. The Howler began to bring up his claws, then stopped and lowered them as Erek advanced, holographic eyes full of hate--

I gasped, and the images vanished like shadows in the sunlight. Alai looked over at me, her expression pleading. Was she seeing the same thing as I had?

Whatever had caused that image, I had to keep it from happening. I stepped between Erek and Riyadh, drawing everyone's attention. "Erek, it wasn't this Howler that killed the Pemalites. It couldn't have been. They only live for three years, remember?"

"It doesn't matter!" snapped Erek, the hand that held the crystal shaking slightly. "This one's probably done enough harm to other races. And he remembers killing them."

"So do you," I pointed out. Why was I trying to save a Howler's life? I should just let Erek decide on his own, and if he chose to use the crystal--well, the Howlers had done enough damage to deserve it, hadn't they?

To one side, I saw Alai take a step forward as well. "It is your decision, representative of the Chee," she said. Her voice trembled, betraying the emotion I had seen. "Riyadh is volunteering for this mission. If you so wish, the Sharf Den and our charges are assisting the Chee however we can. Or we are leaving you alone. But Riyadh is only two months old. He is doing no harm to anyone."

"Get out of the way, Cassie," Jake ordered. "This isn't our choice."

I shook my head. But Alai gently took one arm and pulled me away. "I am not here to be making trouble among your group," she murmured. "But thank you for trying, Cassie."

There was a pause that seemed to take hours, as Erek studied the crystal and the Howler who had given it to him, and Alai's hand grew nervously tight on my arm. At last, he offered it back. "My creators didn't reprogram us even to save their own lives," he said softly. "I won't avenge them when they would not have done it."

Alai smiled. Her grip relaxed. "So the Chee as well grow older," I thought I heard her say. She went to Riyadh's side and hugged him. Then she straightened, and took the Pemalite crystal from Erek. "You are choosing well," she told him. "You must be telling the Chee about this. If you are wishing it, our charges are agreeing to do whatever they can for you. They are rebuilding the Pemalite homeworld, as much as possible. The Sharf Den are attempting to recreate the Pemalite race from what DNA samples we are finding."

The android almost lost control of his hologram. It flickered for an instant, then steadied to show Erek staring, mouth open. "And you would have done this...even if I had..." He looked at Riyadh, his face ashamed.

The Howler nodded. "One of us had to come here first, to give you the chance to decide. If you had chosen other than you did, another volunteer would have come, until you were ready to let us help."

Erek shook his head. "You've slaughtered more than a dozen races," he said, but his voice was no longer accusing. "And attacked who knows how many more than Crayak never let you remember. You can never make up for that."

"We know," Riyadh replied, meeting Erek's eyes. "But we intend to try."

Very slowly, Erek smiled. "Not all of us will agree to this," he warned. "But I will try, as well."

Riyadh--

Too relieved to return Erek's smile, I looked at Alai. "You are accomplishing your task, Riyadh," she told me. "Are you going home now, or staying?"

I glanced to Erek, debating. "What do you think?" I asked him.

The android hesitated. "It might be better if you talked with the other Chee," he said finally. "But I'm afraid you won't get much of a welcome."

"I'll do whatever I can to help out," I promised. "If the other Chee don't want me around, I can always go home. I remember how to signal for it," I assured Alai.

She nodded in agreement. "I am knowing that you do. Do not be forgetting to update the memory. And do not be getting injured," she added with a small smile.

"Be careful," I half-asked her. I didn't know what task Alai had set herself, but the Sharf Den don't leave their world lightly.

"I am always being careful," she replied. Not entirely reassured, I left the barn within the concealment of Erek's hologram.

Cassie--

Alai looked at Jake. "I am apologizing for any inconvenience this is causing you," she said. "It is being necessary for Riyadh to be coming here. You are understanding?"

Jake smiled at her. "Don't worry about it. So you Sharf Den adopted the Howlers?"

"Yes. We are being their..." Alai frowned slightly, searching for a word, and finally settled on "guardians."

"You said you'd come here for three or four reasons," Marco reminded. "What're the other two?"

The Sharf Den girl shrugged. "The fourth reason, if it is existing, I cannot be saying. As for the third, I am assisting you in a battle you are fighting in a soon-now. You are needing the help, and it is the least I can be doing."

"What battle are we fighting?" I asked, falling almost unconsciously into Alai's phrasing. "And how do you know about it?"

Alai half grinned. "I can't be telling you about it," she said. "That is being interfering. I am not being sure when the battle is in your time frame, but do not be worrying. I am being there." She looked at me, those brilliant purple eyes oddly thoughtful.

Alai glanced around once more at everyone in the barn. "I am having to be leaving now," she said with regret. "The other time I am seeing you is near the end of my range, so there is not being much time after it. But I have advice to be giving you, if you are accepting it. You are not having to follow it."

"All right," Jake agreed cautiously, "what's your advice?"

The Sharf Den child smiled, and moved first to Rachel. "Warrior," I heard her begin, "the battles are ending in some after-now. Your fight, however, is your decision."

Rachel jerked back from Alai as if she'd seen something the rest of us hadn't. Maybe she had. I noticed that no one else acted like they'd heard Alai.

She went to Tobias next, and stretched a small hand upward toward his perch. "Hawk-child, your choice is being made. It cannot be unmade. Be considering every possible outcome."

Tobias turned his head to stare at Alai with one golden eye. I couldn't tell if his wings were raised slightly in agitation.

Then came Marco. "Planner, life is indeed being a mixture. Both parts are equally necessary. You cannot be separating them, therefore you must identify them."

Alai looked up at Ax, and all four of his eyes focused on her. "Aristh and friend of humans, you are going home. But not until you are sure which home is yours."

Was his tail-blade trembling? He certainly didn't seem to know where to point his stalk eyes as Alai came toward Jake.

"Leader, the decisions are yours. But you are making no progress in looking only back. The mistakes as well are serving their purpose."

Last, Alai turned to me. Her deep violet eyes sought mine. "Helper of life--" she began.

But I interrupted her. "How can you call me that? I've killed. I've taken life--how can you say I help it?" I felt tears in my eyes, threatening to spill over. I hadn't meant to confess my doubts like this, but something in Alai's look had made me feel that I had to tell her anything I felt was wrong in the advice she gave.

Alai nodded as though she had found something she was expecting. "You are doing that," she acknowledged simply, "but you are doing everything in your power to avoid it."

I slowly shook my head. It wasn't enough.

The Sharf Den let out a sigh. "You are being right," she told me. "I am not convincing you like this. I am noticing before that you are having a gift--I am giving it to you now, if you are accepting it."

I looked at Jake, but he seemed frozen. "They are not hearing advice that is not theirs," Alai told me. "I am keeping us in this moment until the advice is being finished."

"Why did I hear everyone's advice, then?" I asked, putting off the decision on Alai's gift for another moment.

"That is not being the advice," Alai said. "You are hearing it because you are listening."

I didn't really understand that, but I let it pass. "I will accept your gift, Alai."

Alai smiled up at me. "Please lean down," she requested. I bent over, and Alai reached up to touch the side of my face. And then--

A rush of images! Shapes, colors-scenes from my own barn that had happened long ago, things that might have been happening now had something different taken place long in the past, things that might or might not happen someday in the future-places I had been, or would be, or might be--

The sudden expansion would likely have overloaded my brain, but I felt a filter keeping the rush back. Alai, making sure that I saw only what I could handle--

The torrent seemed to slow, or perhaps I just was getting used to it. I began to make out places and people I knew, sometimes in hopeful futures and sometimes in terrible ones. I saw how my actions impacted the stream, how I'd made and still could make a difference--possibilities I'd already averted, and pasts I'd somehow affected.

Now the stream slowed, and stopped, and I saw the barn in the present moment. Alai had removed her hand from my face. "This is how we are seeing time," she told me. "It is a great gift, although at times the drawbacks are being as great as the advantages. I am sharing it with you, for good or ill. Not to the same extent--that would be having adverse effects on anyone except a Sharf Den. But now you are understanding better."

I nodded. "Thank you, Alai," I said.

The child smiled at me, and the other Animorphs began to move again. Alai turned in a slow circle to look at all of us. "Be remembering," she admonished us all, then, "Be remembering, Cassie," so quietly I wasn't sure if anyone else could hear. And she blurred again, this time becoming so indistinct I could hardly make her out, then fading entirely.

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