PAST LIVES by Whiplash-Girlchild

A/N: Okay my sweet chinchillas, new fic-let idea: Past lives. Do you believe in re-incarnation? A better question might be, do Naomi and Emily? Inspired by the song "Past Lives" by Ravens & Chimes. Enjoy my incessant mewing.

You know you will sort of need to see her again. You will need this like life needs life. You will need this like you need oxygen to swell inside your lungs and propel from the ribbed cage it occupies.

It is not a question in your mind, but a statement; a dull ache pounding in your hollow chest cavity, that will keep you awake at night. Every light will seem to burn, twist and dance. Every sound will seem to hum in your eardrums. Every second will feel like a millennia.

You see her only once. One night, but the best night you have ever lived, because of her.

Her face is elegant and pale. Her eyes are open and expressive. Your heart - detonates upon impact from her glance. You put your hand to your chest as the pain strikes you from across the room. You stop laughing. Stop listening to anyone around you. Your face becomes serious, intense even. People think you are anyway. The walls seem to reverberate with the sound of the blood beating in your ears. She is gorgeous. She is beautiful. And she is out of your reach.

The sound of her laughter echoes of every corner of the room you stand in. You cannot escape it as it bounces off pillars, around corners and slams into your aching chest. There is something just beyond the reach of your understanding that wells within you. Familiar, this is. Everything echoes across the minutes that you stand there. Silent. Prostrate. Helpless. You stare at her again, openly. Watch every graceful movement as her hand moves up to sweep her red hair away from her face. You imagine that this has happened to you before, in another life. Her. It seems possible to you that she could occupy the space of time itself; as she occupies now, the space within your heart. Her petite frame moves like wheat blowing in the wind. She sways. The ache is crushing you. Look away. No! Look back, just incase she might be an illusion and disappear from your sight forever. It seems desperate - but if you lose sight of her, you think that she might sink beneath the waves of your conscious mind; although you are not sure what makes you think so.

You laugh at yourself. Past lives. You cannot help but believe in them. So familiar, but a girl like that does not fall for someone like you. Yet that ache remains. So familiar she is. You bow your head letting your blond locks fall around your face. You look at your feet, suddenly interesting. You can feel her looking at you. Look up. Her eyes lock with yours and the warmth there astounds you. She looks away. You are unreadable, you are sure of it. Your intensity scares people away. You are passionate. You are opinionated but kind. Yet people shy away from the honesty of you. It makes you lonely. Makes you angry. Makes you jaded. You still reach out to them. You cannot give up. You promised yourself you wouldn't. Even after Elizabeth did, even after all that happened, you cannot give up.

You stare at the small girl from across the room. What would you like to know? You would tell her everything. Break open and spill upon the tiled floor, seeping into the grooves between the contrasting checked squares. Staining them with the essence of the person you are, forever. And you want to know everything about her. What does she like to read? How would she look in your favorite shirt? How does it sound when she sings in the shower? You sigh, the air vacating your chest and leaving you feeling emptier than before.

You have dreams of drowning. You cannot let the water flow above your head, or everything goes black. But it does. You sink but you want desperately to swim. It feels like something is holding you back, so familiar. You feel like time is escaping you as you are standing still, rushing past you, screaming in your ears, howling into the wind. There is no way to reach her. You wonder if she feels the pull. Like gravity, sucking, swelling, pushing her under. The air is thick; charged, even. Her voice batters your eardrums in a good way; husky, deep, velvety soft. You let a smile escape you. She notices. She sets her glass upon a table and moves towards you. You panic. You look towards the exits. It feels like drowning. Your body aching with the knowledge of impending doom and that is when the sense of peace overtakes you and you are glancing upwards through the thick water, seeing the light upon the surface as something drags you down. No. Do not think about that now. That never happened.

Your eyes take her in, and it is like being born. You emerge new, whole and filled with energy. Her flame red hair flows like water cascading over her small shoulders. Her oval face, with small, elegant lips. Her chest. Do not linger there. Watch her hips moving in time, like a metronome. No, stop. Move to her legs. So long, but she is so small. You smirk, staring at the smooth skin there. Oh god, look up! You do in time to catch her smile. Busted.

"Hey." She says stopping in front of you. Her dress is black and clings desperately to her body, much like you want to do.

"Hi," you manage feeling extremely inept and uncool.

"So," she says again attempting a conversation.

"Yeah," you chuckle as you glance around you. You have never been good at this. You want to tell her a dumb joke. Make her laugh. You are good at that. But she is so fucking amazing that all you can do is keep from combusting in her presence. Push your hand through your hair.

She is staring.

You smile a small and broken smile at her. One corner of your mouth drags upwards and the other stays in place. She blushes. You notice her nervousness. God, does she like me too?

"I just," she starts. "There's so much I want to say to you."

"I know," you reply simply.

"But I can't make sense of it. You seem so familiar to me." She says exasperated.

"I know," you say again.

"But I've never met you before, have I? No, I know I'd remember those eyes, that hair. I'd remember you, instantly." She glances away and blushes again.

You raise an eyebrow to her.

"What I mean is, I think. I don't know. I just," She is buzzing like neon in your presence. You can feel the current of electricity run through your veins.

You speak up to save her. "Yeah, I mean. I feel that way too. You just do something to me. I mean, no, yes. Wait. Can I start again? I feel like I'm drowning here."

She stares at you. Her eyes are wide and open.

"Drowning?" she says. Her eyes darting to the left as if recalling a distant memory.

She watched you drown. No, that never happened….

You watched the rain come in low, all afternoon.

The clouds rushing by you in a quiet spectacle. The rain patting upon your roof, constant, soothing.

You always make love on rainy afternoons.

You pull her smooth body towards yours as you pepper her with passionate kisses. Her warmth radiates from her and her soft moans cause a burning in the pit of your stomach. You love her.

You push your hands through her hair as your mouth finds hers, her moan echoes in your mouth. Your tongue wrestles with her soft one. Her lips like velvet, so fucking soft.

You run your hands down her shivering body as you find your way between her legs, so wet. And you have never been sure about what you want, until now. She has mapped out your infinity. Every glittering point on your horizon, leads to her. It always will.

As the water pulls at you, you hear her screaming. She cannot save you.

It tugs at you, again and again and again. You had always trusted the water, the rain and now it betrays you. You feel the blood beating in your ears. The only thing you can think of is her as the waves pull you under. God. She will be so broken.

The water stifles your oxygen. You are panicking. You push until your limbs burn. You love her. You need her. "I will get to you somehow," you scream inside your mind. But your body is not capable of it. Your heart knows. Your fucking soul aches with it. You cannot let her go.

A sense of calm overtakes you. The lights dance above your head as the darkness envelops you. "I love you," you think. And you say goodbye.

Her brown eyes are filled with a sorrow you cannot place. But you feel it, reflected back to her in your own eyes.

"Are you okay?" You ask comfortingly, putting your hand upon her arm. It burns you.

She smiles brokenly back at you. "Yeah, I just got sad all of a sudden," she says.

"Was it something I said?" You ask concerned. "The thing about drowning?" You muse.

"Yes. No, I don't know again." She laughs nervously. "No one I've ever known has drowned."

"Oh." You say.

"I'm sorry, can we start again?" She asks honestly.

"As many times as you'd like," You say honestly back.

She stares at you again.

The gravity threatens to tear you both apart, or mash you together. Fusing you so fiercely, you will never be able to tell where she stops and you begin.

You bite your lip.

She stares at it. You lick your lips and stare at her own. You dart back to her eyes. She is staring at your lips.

"Fuck me." You think.

She is trembling.

You reach out for her again. You are sure of it now, she is trembling.

"Are you okay?" You ask.

"I'm. Yes. Excuse me for a second," She practically sprints upstairs in your friend Cook's house. The house like a palace, filled with things you cannot own. It seems cavernous and cold without her in it.

You follow her up. You do not know why, but you can guess. The ache in your chest and the fire in the pit of your stomach tell you so. There is a howling in your soul that cannot be contained.

You search every room until you find her. You push open the door. You are panting like an animal. You mumble out your concern. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

She has been crying in a spare bedroom. She stands up as you surge towards her. You mash your lips together and it feels like coming home. Her tongue finds yours and you gasp from the sheer glory and misery of it. Your arms grip her tightly. Your bodies lock together as the gravity of this moment envelops you both.

The blood beats in your ears again.

No, that never happened.

She wraps her legs around you as you furiously push her down onto the bed. You unbutton her shirt. She lets you. You unclasp her lacy bra. Again she does not protest. Your hands glide across her terrain as if you have navigated it all your life. Her breasts in your hands feel smooth and supple. You pinch at the nipple between your fingertips. Rolling over it. She is gasping and moaning into your mouth. Hips bucking off the bed. You push her skirt up around her waist and jerk her panties down. It would seem cold and frantic if it were anyone else but her. It would not ache the way it does, if it were anyone else. You know it. You stare at her briefly in the moonlight. "You're so fucking gorgeous," you mutter. "I want to cry when I look at you." She blushes and looks away. She does not believe it. "Don't look away from me, from this," you whisper. "This is crushing me. You're fucking beautiful."

She kisses you hard again. You slowly drag your fingers through her folds. So soft, so wet. You shiver from the surge of passion that goes through your body and the flood that rushes between your legs. You rip your shirt off your chest, discarding your bra with it. You want to feel her against you.

You discard all your clothing and crawl up her trembling body. You kiss her tenderly, just everywhere you can reach. And you ache inside, so familiar.

You hear thunder outside the window and you jump. Maybe it is all a little too familiar. You always made love on rainy afternoons. No, stop. You feel the small girls eyes roam across your face and her expression is passionate and tender. You ache to kiss her endlessly. It is as if you have been apart forever and you want to make sure it never happens again. As the storm outside begins to rage your lovemaking becomes more intense. Kisses almost brusing, nails scratching, muscles taut and burning. You touch her everywhere. Your tongue explores her sweetness, your hands roam aimlessly and your fingers explore her vigorously.

When she comes undone, it is the most beautiful thing you have ever witnessed. Expressive eyes closing, screams and moans, body covered in moonlit sweat, shuddering; you cum watching her. She rewards you by making you come undone in the most spectacular fashion you have ever experienced.

And as you lay in the cool sheets, upon some strange bed, in a house that is not your own; you wonder how you got here. How she lies beside you, breathing softly but clearly awake. Finally, she breaks the silence.

"I don't do this," she whispers into the darkness.

"Neither do I," you reply honestly.

"I couldn't help it," she says. "The second I laid eyes on you, I wanted you so badly."

"I know," you say.

"Cheeky." She says laughing softly.

"No, I mean…I understand." You fumble.

"Oh," she says as a question.

"Yes. When I saw you, I couldn't 'not' have you. Something inside me wouldn't let you go."

"I know." She says reverently. "The rain is making me sad," she says suddenly. "I feel like there is something tugging at the edge of my memory, an iceberg drifting below the surface and the ship of my subconscious wants to scrape against it and sink into the icy water."

You shiver and close your eyes.

"I'm sorry," she says leaning up and pressing her body flush against you when noticing your reaction.

"It's okay," you say honestly. "No one I know has ever drowned either." You stare deep into her piercing brown doe eyes.

"I'm Emily." She says laying her head upon your chest and kissing the space over your heart.

You smile. Every rainy day, she would kiss the space over your heart after you made love. Your head throbs and remembering makes your heart ache. You hum contentedly.

"I'm Naomi." You say smiling and kissing the top of her flame red hair.

"It's nice to meet you, Naomi." She says shyly. Although after the way she nailed you, you find it rather funny that she would become shy now.

"Oh, Emily," you say letting out a dreamy sigh. "I think we should make love every rainy afternoon."

You hear the smile in her laugh.

PS. I do have nightmares about drowning and a rabid fear of it. I have no reason for it. I also have a strange affinity for NYC - a homesick yearning for it. (I have never lived there, nor would I want to. So, I find this odd. Call it what you will.)