Ataash varin kata
Author's Note: Kay, tryin' something a little different here. It'll be fun, I promise. (; The story title translates to "In the end lies glory" in the Qunari language.
Special shout-out to EvilValenStrife for helping me with this little idea.
Warning: You probably already know what I'm doing so warning you is pointless.
It was impossible for Saemus to isolate the beginning of it; in many ways it was probably for the better that he couldn't remember. Ashaad was gone, taken by the bitch bounty hunter that held a vendetta against something she feared. Feared simply because she didn't understand. And the money offered to her for her hate was despicable. No one understood, save maybe the hero who had gone through such lengths to protect him after the death of Ashaad. Surprisingly this hero, Hawke as he was called, understood. He accepted it without prejudice, without violence or hate. It was nice to see that humanity wasn't completely lost in the name of religion.
The Qunari were not affectionate, though they were capable of love. Of feeling. Though their lack of expression turned people away from them, and perhaps the fact that most had horns and dressed in war paints didn't help people to warm up to them. Saemus understood that, so why couldn't others understand his drawn to the Qun and the Qunari people in general? Perhaps it was because he was drawn to the Qunari in such a carnal way that made most people think him strange; not that any really knew of his intimate affair with Ashaad. Sure some teased about it, but none really knew. Had they of his father's political position would have been even further threatened than it had been for simple association.
"Shanedan bas."
Saemus looked at the Qunari, tilting his head to the side and knitting his eyebrows in confusion. "Pardon?"
The Qunari looked unaffected, his expression still stony and unreadable, his violet eyes mirroring the expression only far more intense. "Speak."
The boy felt his face grow hot, the gaze making him feel rather uneasy. "What are you doing here on the Wounded Coast by yourself? Isn't it dangerous?"
The Qunari raised a brow before returning to his maps. "I could ask you the similar. You are but an imekari, a young one. With no weapon to speak of. Do the humans not train their young?"
Saemus cocked his head quizzically. "They do? But not like the, oh what did they call it, oh right! The Qun. Did I say that right? Keh-yoon?"
"Yes you say it correctly. They humans must not be very good teachers. You are out here alone after all."
Saemus grinned, he really liked this Qunari. "Say, what's your name?"
"Ashaad."
"Ashaad? Is the a common name to Qunaris? I hear that a lot by the docks." The Qunari refused to look up from his maps, giving what Saemus could only call a sigh. "Did I say something wrong, Ashaad?" He finally asked after a minute of silence.
"No, Ashaad is a title, but it is also my name. It is one in the same." The Qunari explained.
"Oh, I get it. My name is Saemus by the way."
Ashaad gave a contemplative noise, looking up from his maps. "I remember you. You are the son of the Viscount."
Saemus again felt uncomfortable. "Yes. He is my father." He affirmed quietly.
"Why do you look so?"
"Most who find out I am the Viscount's son stop talking to me."
"Your nobility does nothing to deter me, imekari."
The boy's face brightened. "So does this make us friends?"
"For one so riddled with doubt you are quick to assume you and I are friends." The Qunari said plainly.
"I'm sorry, I was just -"
"We are friends now."
"Thank you Hawke, I just wish you could have gotten here sooner."
His hero gave a sad smile, noticing how distraught the boy was. "I wish I had too. I'm sorry about your friend, you must have been very close to him."
Saemus shifted uncomfortably at the words, seeing in the golden eyes what he was really trying to say. "Sorry about your lover dying." It made him feel ill. "People may not realize it but the Qunari aren't emotionless creatures. They love, they have relationships! People are just scared of what they don't understand!" He wanted to scream, cry about how it wasn't fair, but that was not the Qunari way of doing it. He wasn't exactly Qunari material, Ashaad told him as such often, but it didn't mean he didn't try. And with Ashaad now dead it was the only thing he had to cling to.
"You have returned, imekari."
"Of course Ashaad! I like to spend my time with you, you are my friend." Saemus said cheerfully, sitting beside Ashaad at the campfire and watching him work diligently on his maps. "You never told me what you do."
"I am what you would call a scout." Ashaad replied, flipping through his papers until he found what he was looking for, pulling it out and setting it on top. "I am marking the areas with known Tal'Vashoth, before you ask."
"Wow. What exactly is a Tal'Vashoth?"
"Those who once followed the Qun, and now reject it."
So cold. Saemus frowned. "Why would they reject the Qun, exactly? Is being apart of Qunari society that bad?"
"No."
"That isn't much of an answer."
Ashaad shook his head, but said nothing else concerning the Tal'Vashoth. Mentally Saemus noted that talking about those who rejected the Qun was not a good idea.
"Oh my son! Why, why are you fascinated with these people?"
Hawke had left him here with his father, alone. While Saemus was appreciative at how Hawke believe he should be able to make his own decisions now, but it was a conversation between him and his father.
"Father, the Qunari are… They are who I want to be! Please, let me have this."
"Saemus, I can't! I'm the viscount of Kirkwall, the People look to me to look out for their best interests and you're association with the Qunari scares them. They think I am in the Qunaris' pockets!"
"I'm not having this conversation. I need to go out." Saemus grunted, turning on his heel and stomping out.
"Saemus, come back here. Saemus!"
"The Ben-Hassrath should probably take me away." Ashaad growled, turning away from Saemus and slamming his fist down on the table, his many maps rustling and the flimsy wood threatening to break under the pressure.
Saemus grimaced, clutching his arm and kicking at the ground. "It's my fault, and it isn't like anyone has to know what I did." He offered in a hoarse whisper. "It - it wouldn't be fair to punish you for my wrong doing."
Ashaad shook his head, turning around to face the boy, his eyes muddled with emotion that Saemus had never seen in them before. "Imekari -"
"Don't call me a child!" Saemus interrupted angrily, rubbing his eyes with the back of his sleeve to hide his tears. "I'm not a child, I'm not!"
"Who are you trying to convince? Myself or yourself?" Ashaad asked, a frown tugging on the normally straight face.
"Don't patronize me!"
The Qunari was taken aback by the sudden outburst from his friend, but did little to show it. Instead he simply sighed. "I submit myself to the Qun, Saemus. Even if I did not I must accept responsibility for what has happened here."
"But nothing has happened!" Saemus threw his arms up in the air, wanting to just throw himself into the ocean. It seemed like the easier alternative that arguing with Ashaad. "It was just a kiss, Ashaad. Don't your people kiss? Or show affection?"
"No."
Saemus again had the strong urge to throw himself in the ocean. "I know you love! You love me, don't you?"
"I never said I didn't. I just stated that we do not show our affection. You know how much I care for you, is that not enough?" Ashaad countered.
"Then how am I supposed to know that you love me if you don't express it?"
"I do, and you understand it. Had you not then you would not have known my feelings for you."
"But -!"
Ashaad grabbed the boy and jerked him into a kiss; it was messy, and rough, but far from awkward. Saemus threw his arms around Ashaad's neck and kissed back, closing his eyes and allowing his body to do as it would. The Qunari broke the kiss, picking the boy up and carrying him over to the pile of blankets that served as his bed.
As Ashaad laid him down on the soft cushioning, Saemus found himself turning red faced. "Are you sure you want to do this? Seconds ago you were…"
"Shh, this is what you want. It is what I want. Why else would I want to be reeducated? I am defective, somehow."
"No you aren't Ashaad!"
"I do not wish to fight with you. This is not the time." Ashaad admonished, his hands coursing over the boy's body and pulling off his clothing. Saemus moaned, the feeling of the coarse hands over his soft skin turned his body on, each touch going straight to his groin. The Qunari gave a curious hum, repeating his movements to received another breathless moan for the boy.
"I'm going to join the Qun, father. It is what I'm meant to do." It was the most confident, the most resolute Saemus had ever been in his life. In all his years, between all his doubt, never had he felt as confident as he did in that moment. Even his father noticed his change in attitude.
"I will not allow it Saemus! It has been three years, I thought you were over this Qunari nonsense!" The Viscount sighed, pacing behind his desk with an annoyed expression. "What aren't you telling me son? What secret are you keeping?"
"It is none of your business father. I want to become a Viddathari, I want to become apart of the Qun. They, the Qunari, they don't judge me like the humans do! They see me only for what I can do, they don't cater to me just because of who my father is! I'm going to the Qun father."
Perhaps leaving on such a bad note wasn't such a smart idea, or perhaps it was his fate. Either way the inevitable finally occurred. Fanatics have a funny way of accomplishing their goals, no matter who or what gets hurt in the end - all that matters to them as that their point gets across and they spark fear in the hearts of all around them. No matter how untrue or damning that fear was…
Saemus groaned in a mix of pleasure and pain, arching his back flush against Ashaad's muscular golden chest, his hands clutching the Qunari's shoulders, stroking the white locks of hair, touching the horns in both curiosity and affection. There was no denying how much the experience hurt, Ashaad's sex being quite gifted compared to humans. In my ways they were far more robust than humans, still it felt oddly amazing.
As the Qunari pounded into him, Saemus watched Ashaad's usually stern face soften, the pleasure and connection between them overtaking his usual character in such a way that Saemus felt he could cry. He pulled them into a kiss, holding back moans of pure bliss.
They didn't last long, Saemus being first to cum between their hot, sweating bodies. Moments later the Qunari came into the boy, filling the boy utterly and completely. Pulling out of the boy, the Qunari sat next to him, inquisitively inspecting the sticky substance that coated the boy's abdomen. Slowly he tasted the essence, his nose scrunching up from the taste. "Odd."
Saemus gave a sleepy laugh, laying on his side and curling into a ball. "What do we do now?" He asked in a whisper.
"A letter from my father? That's not like him." Saemus muttered with a dubious glance, taking the slip of paper from the Karashok. The Qunari said nothing before turning to leave. Shrugging he looked over the note, a feeling of dread washing over him the more he read. Still he couldn't help but feel a pull to answer the call of his "father".
He met with the Arishok, explaining the letter to the Qunari who seemed to have little interest in it and far more annoyance than anything else. Saemus grimaced, wondering what the Arishok was thinking. The large beast waved his hand in tired annoyance. "Go to him then. Your place in the Qun won't be going anywhere."
The boy couldn't help but grin, seeing a bit of Ashaad in the giant brute of a Qunari. "Thank you Arishok."
"You leave, and go back to your family. By this time tomorrow I will probably be locked away until we return to Par Vollen."
The words stung, especially since he knew Ashaad was telling the truth. The boy gave a sob, the guilt of being the cause of the situation making him feel awful, even in the afterglow of such glorious love-making. He sat up, resting his forehead on the Qunari's shoulder. "I don't want to go home yet Ashaad. If I can't be with you for much longer than I want nothing more than to spend as much time with you as I possibly can."
"It is late, you should go home now before you worry your family." Ashaad stated, absently running his hand through Saemus's hair. "I do not want you to leave either, but it is better to err on the side of caution and break it cleanly now."
"I can't just yet Ashaad. Let me stay the night, I'll go home early in the morning. No one will even know I'm gone!"
Ashaad sighed inwardly, knowing he couldn't say no to his lover. "Very well. Sleep now."
"You're mad! Why can't you see that they're just like you? They breathe, when you cut them they bleed, and they love just like anyone else!"
He was crying now, knowing that his seconds were numbered. They crazed Mother had him backed up against the wall with nowhere else to run. He had accepted his fate, he would die for what he believed in, but he wouldn't go down without a fight.
The Mother sneered, waving the delicate knife around wildly. "Those things are not like me, they deny the Maker! You deny the Maker! For that you must die!" With those final words she thrust the knife into the boy's stomach and he fell to his knees, a grim smile on his face.
"There are just some people who will never see the Truth." With every ounce of strength he brought his hand to his face, wiping away his tears. The Mother ran, though he couldn't help but continue his monologue, hoping that maybe someone could hear it; that his reason would reach somebody, somewhere. "Why do people hate what they do not understand? Why can no one see that there is nothing to be fear, and only to be understood." He tossed his head back and gave a morose laugh. "Panahedan Mother, ataash varin kata."
Saemus choked, bile rising to his throat as he rushed to Ashaad's side, cradling the dying Qunari in his arms. "Don't die, don't die." He started the mantra, rocking back and forth as he attempted to will his lover to live. He knew it wouldn't work, and Ashaad knew too.
The Qunari craned his neck to look at the distraught boy, reaching his arm up to stroke his tear-stained cheek. "Shh, shh shh. It is to be, Saemus. Do not cry on my behalf."
The boy nodded, clenching his jaw and putting on his best strong face. The Qunari let his eyes drift close as the rest of his life was spent in the arms of the boy. Swallowing the rest of his sadness he laid Ashaad's body down, getting to his feet and glaring at his murderer. "How could you?"
They were interrupted by Hawke, the battle that ensued between the Winters and Hawke was bloody, painful to watch. Still a part of Saemus could not help but take satisfaction in their deaths.
"I'm sorry about your friend…"
I officially love the Qunari. Haha.
Imekari technically translates to "a child", but I don't know how to simply say "child", so to be safe I just opted for "a child" rather than butcher the language. Have any questions about any of the other words, look them up or just ask. (:
