Dear Spencer,
I wish all the time that things in our family could be different. There is so much that I would change if I could. I wish I could be the father you deserve. I wish I could be everything your mother needs. I wish I was strong enough to stay, but I can't live a lie anymore.
When I first started dating your mother, I knew she was the one I was going to marry. In spite of her illness, she was beautiful, smart, and everything I wanted. It was easy to see who she was despite her disease. I have no regrets whatsoever about marrying her. She was and still is important to me, and I would gladly throw myself in danger to protect her. She needed me, and I needed her too. I still love her. I always will. But knowing that I wasn't enough to help her- to know that I couldn't save her from the pain and suffering that fell on her was too much to bear.
I had hoped that it would never come to this point. To where I felt so trapped that there was no other way out. To where I became willing to give up all I had for the sake of my freedom. So many times in the past few years I asked myself if freedom was really worth it. It was a sad day when the answer became yes.
I had tried so hard to be what you both needed. To be unbreakable in the face of all the adversity facing our family. But after six years of trying to hold myself and our family together, I broke. The pressure became too much and I couldn't take it anymore.
I'm sorry Spencer. I never wanted to hurt you or your mother in this way. You're both good people who deserve better than me. I still love you and your mother more than you know. And, although I doubt it, maybe someday you'll understand why it has to be this way. I know you'll do amazing things, Spencer. If nothing else, I just want you to know I'm proud of you no matter what happens.
I'm so sorry,
Dad