The Completely Insane Hetalian B-Day Party

Disclaimer: WoohooHetalia does not own Hetalia: Axis Powers. If she did... well, let's not go into that right now. However, this fanfiction IS based off of my actual b-day party.

One day, a certain young fanfiction authoress was given a choice that would affect the rest of her life-whether to invite 17 countries or 16 kids to her last birthday party that she would ever have. EVER. Why? Because her mom thinks that as soon as you turn 13-POOF, you're too "mature" for b-day parties. See how weird she is? Anyways, the young authoress, using her astounding powers of common sense, decided that 17 countries = more awesome presents. Unfortunately, she had completely forgotten the basic insane natures of these crazy countries, especially when they are near alcohol.

That was where she made her first mistake. She had chosen a cozy restaurant to host her party (distraction for America so that he wouldn't down the cake before anyone could even cut out the slices, not to mention even letting the birthday girl blow out a single candle, vodka supply for Russia, place for China and Japan to have a cooking competition, as well as any other country with a rivalry (which is practically all of them)-England forbidden from putting even one toe into the kitchen doorway) set up pink balloons. Quivering in the corner with the remaining countries which were actually acting sane, of which there were only three-China, Germany, and Prussia. Alright, Prussia isn't exactly sane, but right after he suddenly burst into the room yelling, "THE AWESOME ME HAS AWESOMELY MADE HIS AWESOME ENTRANCE INTO THIS NOT-AS-AWESOME AS ME ROOM!" he had 1) downed an amount of beer so awesome that it should have been submitted to the Guinness World Records, and would've been, if Prussia wasn't so drunk he couldn't even find his last bottle of beer, which was right in front of him. 2) got smacked on the head by a frightened Germany, and then blinded by all the cameras flashing as their owners tried to get a good shot at Germany's face(think about what his face would look like if Italy had accidentally fell into a hole leading to the center of the earth which was lined with exploding grenades, nukes, and an angry Switzerland clone army with assault rifles who had claimed the hole as their lawn. Oh, and then pissed off Russia, who had wanted that hole so he could use it as a headquarters to plan taking over the world) Ahem. So, anyways, Prussia was counted among the sane ones because he wasn't joining the irate group of warmongering countries shouting profanities at each other in their own languages while whacking each other with the pink balloons. Plus, pink was far too girly for the awesome Prussia! Which was probably why Poland was building what would be later nicknamed the Leaning Tower of Pink Balloons in another corner of the room, the reason for which you will find out later. The fanfic authoress slowly strolled around the Battle of the Balloons. She had a bad feeling over what was going to happen next. Her bad feeling was correct. Around 1:13, which was also the time at which America had barged into the kitchen, which gave her a sense of dread about what would happen to the poor hapless restaurant, all of the remaining sane countries had jumped into a brawl over who had the right to draw Doctor Who on one of the pink balloons.

"MY BALLOON!" Germany cried, his sanity finally brought to its untimely (don't worry, only temporarily) end due to a combination of England and France's cacophony of raging insults coupled with the sounds of popping balloons EVERYWHERE, as rivals like Greece and Turkey, Russia and America, and maybe Italy and Romano, were losing control and flinging their innocent float-y weapons all over the place.

"NO, THEY'RE MINE! ALL MINE!" laughed China maniacally, as the presence of Japan and Hong Kong ninja-fighting with the forgotten food pushed him over the edge, as the ninja combatants were yelling with all their might, which for China who had raised them, was the end of the world. (Reason: Japan is easily influenced, and the whole area is buzzing with angry nations fighting. Hong Kong followed suit, as Japan had unexpectedly brought a table crashing onto his head. In Japan's defense, he was just trying to get everyone's attention.

"I'm drawing Doctor Who on this one." Prussia reported

"NOOOOOOO! CHINA HAS COPYRIGHT! I'LL BEAT YOU TO IT!" China furiously shouted back.

STATE OF PARTY AT THAT POINT: China running around yelling, "COPYRIGHT MINE!", Germany was attempting to snatch the lucky balloons floating on the ceiling before China could, and Prussia was doodling France's face on a balloon (France would have had convulsions if he had seen the less-than-beautiful likeness of him) so he could pop it.

NUMBER OF SANE COUNTRIES LEFT: Sadly, zero.