This is strength is relative, I hope you like! This is being crossposted from AO3 which is a few chapters ahead.


Feliciano never thought that his relationship with Ludwig could be faced with anything but the 'normal' worries. Like paying your rent; where they should go on holiday; whether or not they wanted to get married.

And yet, it was not the case.

He'd met Ludwig at university. The quiet student studying engineering had bumped into Feliciano one evening when moving around campus.

Feliciano had spilled his papers, and Ludwig had been shy and embarrassed and collected his items for him, despite giving Feliciano a telling off for not looking where he was going. After that, Feliciano seemed to notice Ludwig around a lot more. It's funny that after you meet someone you seem to see them everywhere. In the library, the campus shop, the flats, the Christmas fair. They were both part of LGBTQ, and Feliciano was annoyed they hadn't met before, because he always enjoyed the German's company when they did chat.

After being acquaintances for months, Ludwig had offered to help each other study, and although engineering was quite a bit different to History of Art, Ludwig ended up helping Feliciano study and organise.


"Can I take your picture, Ludwig?"

Ludwig paused from reading whatever text book he was meant to be studying. "Erm- what for?"

Feliciano scratched his chin, thoughtfully. "I like taking photos of memories, snapshots of life, so I want to take one of you so I can remember you in the future." He said softly. He knew to some people he sounded ridiculous.

Ludwig just stared at him, a confused look in his face. "You want a picture of me helping you study ? That's pretty boring."

Feliciano would not let his smile waver. "However mundane, I just take pictures when I feel like it! And I like you Ludwig, so I want a photo of someone I like ."

Ludwig nodded. "I... See. Well, you can take a photo of me; I don't quite understand though."

Feliciano smiled, and lifted his camera up and took the photo. He didn't mind that Ludwig didn't get it, Ludwig didn't seem to understand a few things despite how smart he was. Such as how the stress of the word 'like' was clearly not meant as just friendship.


It had taken a few months of testing the waters before Feliciano had given up on being subtle and asked Ludwig directly out. Ludwig had sputtered and blushed and awkwardly agreed.

The relationship, from then on, moved swimmingly.

Feliciano ended up finishing university with a 2:1 and having a boyfriend to move in with.

They'd stayed in the UK for simplicity sake with the language, and ended up working. Ludwig was to stay at the uni, helping with the engineering department whilst Feliciano worked at a museum gallery and art dealership.

They settled into a routine in their small bedroom apartment. Ludwig would wake Feliciano up in the morning, and make Feliciano breakfast because Feliciano was not a morning person, and Ludwig would walk the dogs he loved so much before both heading off to work, only to meet up later. Ludwig and Feliciano would switch making dinner, and Ludwig would pressure Feliciano into sitting and working through the full paperwork that came with the job, whilst Ludwig would retreat to his study. Throughout the day, if Feliciano wanted to, he'd take a photo, perhaps just of Ludwig with the dogs, or maybe of a particularly impressive pasta dish he had found. In the end, they'd both end up in bed, and they'd sleep next to each other.

Feliciano depended on Ludwig in a way. He was his rock. He anchored Feliciano emotionally, and Feliciano considered him to be much stronger than Feliciano. After his grandfather died, Feliciano fell apart, and Ludwig was there for him. So strong, so kind.

But overall, they lived an easy life, a happy life.


It started with a pain in Ludwig's lower back.

Ludwig had groaned when he returned from walking the dogs. Feliciano had asked him what was wrong, and he had replied that his back was hurting him. He said that he had felt a slight pain there for a while, but it seemed to be getting worse recently.

Feliciano had fretted, but perhaps he hadn't fretted enough, because Ludwig ignored the pain in his back for weeks.


Ludwig eventually got the pain in his backside tested. He wanted to be told some exercises that he could do to alleviate this pain in his back. The doctor had ran some tests, and had eventually sent him in to get an x-Ray done, and would be sent back the results.

Feliciano remembered that day well, when Ludwig got the test results back.

Feliciano hadn't known about the x-Rays, Ludwig hadn't told him, so he didn't understand why Ludwig was so quiet when he returned from work.

"Hey, Ludwig, please tell me what's wrong." He asked desperately after a while after Ludwig sitting on the sofa and staring at his shoes became too much.

Ludwig looked up at Feliciano, a distant look in his eyes. "Ah, Feli, I went to go get an x-Ray about my back..."

"Right..." Feliciano said slowly. He was confused. An x-ray? He thought Ludwig had just sprained it badly-

"It's cancer, Feli." Ludwig said. He was looking at Feliciano in the eyes

In general, Feliciano cried a lot. He was the emotional one to Ludwig's stoicism. But the revelation was too huge for even him to comprehend. "Oh." he finally uttered out, defeated by the weight of the situation.

And in that moment, the normality shattered.


"The tumour will be treated with chemotherapy." The doctor had said at their consultancy meeting. They'd avoided talking about the situation until the consultancy because neither knew what to say.

"And how long will this take?" Ludwig had asked.

The doctor stalled. "However long it takes. At least three months. I will try to give you as much information as I can but this is a rare cancer, so the information collected on it changes. It really does depend on the individual. "

"And the prognosis?" Ludwig asked. Feliciano was glad that Ludwig was stating all the questions, as Feliciano felt like he was breaking down, and why were the lights so bright, could he throw up in the bin if he felt sick?
"Well, this is quite a degenerative form of cancer. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but the survival chances are 50/50. It could go either way."

That simple fact was mind numbing.

50/50. Ludwig could die.

The ride home was in silent. Feliciano drove because Ludwig seemed too distant to drive, and didn't protest, which was strange because Ludwig usually preferred to drive because they both knew he was the better driver. Feliciano, usually chatty, could not think of anything to say.

This sort of thing didn't happen to them. Ludwig was only 24. Feliciano was 25. Cancer was an old person thing, or at least middle-aged, and they didn't need to worry about their health now when Ludwig went to the gym and took the dogs out for walks and forced Feliciano to exercise, and Feliciano made sure they ate healthily even if Ludwig had a sweet tooth. Why would this happen to them of all people?

There was no real answer.

Feliciano had shaken Ludwig to get him of his daze and out of the car when they arrived home. They'd gone up to the flat, and Ludwig had greeted his dogs with comforting words. Feliciano moved to store the information packs on 'Cancer and You' and 'Coping with a Loved One's Cancer' on the bookshelves. Unsure of what to do; as his mind was both numb and jumbled; Feliciano decided to start making dinner, as cooking was always a calming action. However, his preparation was stopped when he heard sobs coming from the corridor.

He immediately rushed out. He saw Ludwig trying to hold back the tears but clearly breaking down on the corridor floor, with the dogs frantically trying to comfort him.

Feliciano went over and cradled Ludwig. It was difficult, as Ludwig was much larger than Feliciano, but they made do. Ludwig let out a few shuddering sobs, and Feliciano cried as well, and kissed his head and promised that they'd get through this together.

They went to bed together, Ludwig resting in Feliciano' arms, and Feliciano realised that the roles were changing, and that he was going to have to be strong for Ludwig. He just hoped that he'd be up to the mark.


As always, I love feedback!