I hate blue

"Do you know why the TARDIS is blue?"

"No. Tell me"

"I won't tell you, we're going to experience it!"

The moment he told me this I understood…we were up to something really great, something wonderful, something I was never going to forget.

I lived in London- you know, this enormous city, this city that was never boring, but for me it wasn't that great. Every day I woke up, went to work, spent some time with my boyfriend then with my mum, went sleeping and woke up on the next day with the same routine. London was even more than boring for me. The happiness turned into unconcern and soon it became aversion for the life. The wonderful life, everyone was talking about was just a duty for me. I was 19, just began new job, no, it wasn't this good paid job, I'd rather say it was sweated. Although it wasn't that good at least I was able to help my mum a little. With our both salaries we were able to live ok. My dad had died when I was a baby. Since then I'm my mum's best friend and her closest person. I'm sure he was a one of a kind man. I know it! My boyfriend, well, he' s more than a boyfriend, he's support, always there to help and like a brother to me- he was my best friend. I'm the ordinary, boring, but willing to take different direction in her life, Rose Tyler.

And then a day, an ordinary day I thought it won't be different, I met him, the man who changed my life, the man that showed me that there's nothing impossible, the mad man who took me with his blue box to show me the universe and the reason that the life is worth to be lived. That was the day I decided to change my life, I left everything I loved to find something I soon began to adore.

Was it the days we spent together or the adventures he offered me , I realised that soon I got used to live this life full of risks, this life of differences, this life where he was always by side. Not only that I got used to it, but I loved it. I couldn't find any negative point with being with him. No, he wasn't human, but he had more humanity than everybody else I knew and I'll ever know. His two hearts were able to collect and spread so much love, that even he wasn't aware of. The first time I met him, he said he's the Doctor. Everybody called him like this and although in the beginning it was interesting for me what his real name is, little by little I realised I didn't even care. I loved this- the Doctor. Here, on Earth, this is a person who heals your body, but the Doctor heals your soul, he shows who you should be, he will find your greatest parts- the ones that will make someone fight for you, the ones that show you're worth it, you're worth the effort. He can make you feel like you're the one, you're the most special. He always does it, because "everyone's important".

But every story has an end, hasn't it. My life, full of happiness, came to his end too. I had to go back to the ordinary life, yes, a little different, but still a life without him. The Doctor and I got separated with no possibility to see each other or hear from each other again. On the two sides of a wall, we put hands against one another, but we couldn't feel the warmth of them, we couldn't hear the pounding of our hearts and we knew we won't be able to see the eyes of the other again.

And here I am, on Bad Wolf Bay, waiting for him to show, because I feel he'll find a way to do it. I'm sure he will try his best and his best is more than the universe can handle. And there he was, standing in front of me like a ghost, a ghost I know won't come back, a ghost from my past he's going to turn into.

"Where are you?"

"Inside the TARDIS. There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a supernova. I'm burning up a sun just to say good bye."

"You look like a ghost"

"Hold on"

He took his screwdriver and turned it on. Now his image was clear, I just wanted to take his hand, pull him strong and run away. I wanted to run away with him, no matter where, no matter on Earth or on planet where we won't live long. I just wanted to have him, all of him, to spent all of my left life with the Doctor. The great Doctor, my man. How selfish to think that I can hold him forever, because I knew that he can be with me for my forever, but I couldn't be for his. I was going to leave him alone. Alone again. I tried to clear my thoughts and speak normal, but something was just staying in my throat and it didn't let me speak, nor to take a breath. I felt that if I tried I won't be able to handle them.

" Am I going to see you again?"

"No. You can't."

Although I knew that I won't be able to see him again I just couldn't listen to him saying it. I swallowed and I just couldn't talk anymore, my tears were already falling and I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted he to hug me, wipe the tears away and kiss my forehead like I was a little child. We were standing, staring at each other and waiting for the time he had to pass. Only looking at him made me feel like I couldn't live anymore. At the same time I was thankful that I had those two minutes. The amazing Doctor made me feel this way. Without realizing I felt special too, the most important for him. I didn't change at all, but he did. I, Rose Tyler, changed the Doctor. I, the ordinary girl, working in the shop, made a Time Lord, the last Time Lord, feel happy, wanted and loved and now I had to leave him alone. Loneliness, the feeling he hated the most. Little by little lost in thoughts the only thing I was seeing was the ground. With my head down I was looking at the blurry ground covered with sand.

" Remember when you first got on the TARDIS?" I heard him saying, but I didn't looked at him. I didn't want he to see my face, all covered with tears. "Look at me, Rose." I looked up right into his eyes. I saw how quiet and shine less they looked, like they were dying, like his hearts were refusing to work anymore.

"Yes. You asked me why the TARDIS is blue…" I sobbed and wasn't able to take a breath.

"Yes. So at the end of our journey, can you answer me? Why is the TARDIS blue?"

I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell him how I feel, how much I hated this colour right now, but no sound was coming out of my mouth, just endless tries of taking breath.

"Rose Tyler, I…"

He faded away, the mad man with the blue box left me behind. Forever.

A man was staying in his room, staring at the wall like before a second someone was in front of him.

"I hate blue."

A tear rolled down his cheeks and a silent "crack" came out of his body, like something was breaking apart.

In the end of their journey they experienced the blue of the TARDIS.