"Welcome, Juri-san. Please, take a seat," a long blonde haired young man, smiling politely, nodded at a chair before the desk he was seating at. He looked very young: Juri could take him for her fellow high school student. The therapist's office was small, its square shape resembling an elevator cabin. The window being always shut with a thick curtain added up to that association.
"Good day," she got seated, casting a glance at a small picture in a wooden frame on the wall – a butterfly pupa was depicted on it. It wasn't there before: there used to be a picture of an adult butterfly in its place, probably, of the same butterfly which hatched out of that pupa.
"So, Juri-san," the therapist said after a short pause, his hair seeming to have a pink shade in the unnatural electric light. "We've gone through many sessions, passed loads of tests and, overall, done a great job. Sometimes it was tiresome, sometimes bothering, and sometimes it was even disturbing," he smiled conciliatory, and Jury dropped her eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice her blushing. Now she felt ashamed of her behavior at the previous session. "But, unfortunately, we haven't got any result. Your case is very complex, Juri-san, maybe even unique. In fact, I've realized it only recently, after our last session. Please don't worry," he noticed how uncomfortable it was for Juri to recall it, "it was through no fault of yours. It was me who chose the wrong approach to you, and there's nothing surprising that it disturbed and indignated you. That's why I've reviewed out methods, and today we'll try to do it another way. I understand that you're sick and tired of being a therapist's patient, so today I won't treat you. You'll sort everything out yourself, and I'll only give you advice as to how to do it better. No more tests and questions: I'm sure you'll cope with it by yourself. Don't you mind it, Juri-san?"
"No, I don't," Juri replied, a bit confused. "But I don't really get what you mean."
"It's very simple," the therapist leaned back. "You'll tell me about your situation, analyze it, point out the problems and try to find a way to solve them. Of course, with my help," he made a short pause, "where needed. I promise not to be intrusive and to mind my own business," he smiled again, making it clear that he took the previous session incident easy.
"Okay," Juri nodded. "Where shall I start from?"
"Start from the very beginning. Try to determine the point from which your story begins by yourself."
"All right," Juri nodded. The therapist opened a small pad and took a pencil, ready to take notes. "From which point my story begins? Well, probably, from the moment I realized that what I feel to Shiori wasn't just friendship. Actually, I don't know if we had ever been friends. We were too different: I was a strange girl with a strange hobby, not very sociable, maybe even aggressive. No, I didn't bully anyone, but I was always shunned apprehensively, for some reason. I liked to think that they did it because they felt my power and thus tried to stay clear of something that can crush them down," Juri smirked strangely, either ironically or with bitter frustration. "And Shiori was a common girl, like any other girl in the class. In fact, we even hadn't anything to talk about. That's why we used to communicate in another way: I would practice with the fencing team captain, and she would watch us silently. That's how three of us used to spend time together, sometimes without a single word being said. I liked it when Shiori watched me fencing, only she – I didn't care much about other spectators. I hadn't given it much thought for a long time – we were happy, and that was enough for me. But then I realized what kind of feelings I had for Shiori, and everything changed. It wasn't enough for me just being watched by her when lunging," Juri took a breath, gathering her thoughts. The therapist was quickly moving the pencil tip over a page, probably drawing some graph. "But I understood that there was no future for such… love, and maybe there couldn't be at all."
"Did you say you loved Shiori?" the therapist asked, looking at her.
"Yes," Juri replied. "I loved her. Well, still love. Yes, I know I didn't tell it at previous sessions," the therapist nodded, inviting Juri to continue, and got his eyes back into the pad. "And, I guess, since that moment our practices had become painful for me. I realized that nothing would be as before, but I didn't have the courage to confess to Shiori, and everything stagnated in an endless transition phase. In a dead end," Juri took a short pause, choosing words. "You understand that it wouldn't be easy for me to confess like that even to a guy, let alone confessing my love to a girl… I knew that, should I tell it Shiori, she would steer clear of me: nobody likes perverts, isn't it so?" the therapist shrugged, looking into the pad.
"So, not to lose what I had, I didn't take any steps further. When I wanted to shout, I had to lunge silently. I guess because of that I couldn't speak myself, I started listening carefully to everything Shiori would tell, and, because she didn't speak much, each her word was like a mysterious symbol for me. In fact, I wanted desperately to grasp a hint of her sharing my feelings, despite how stupid it was to hope for it. Most probably, that hope acted as kind of filter for her words: I remember well only those phrases which I could interpret in the way I wanted. Once, after the practice, she picked a rose for me and said… I'm afraid I can't recall the exact words – I invoked that phrase and pondered on it countless times later on, so its actual wording blotted out of my mind – but the point was that believing in miracles helps one to get their wishes fulfilled. It was very strange, and I, of course, found a vague omen in that phrase. That's how I remembered Shiori: the rose in her hands and the words about miracles…" Juri sighed. "But then it turned out to be otherwise, naturally. Shiori started dating the fencing team captain, as she believed that I was in love with him. Well, she thought she had stolen him from me, and that was exactly what she wanted, as she told me herself. They both left the Academy later."
"I guess you told me at our second session about that guy, the fencing team captain, having a crush on you?" the therapist asked, taking advantage of a pause.
"Yes, he had," Juri nodded. "He agreed to go out with Shiori as she persuaded him that I loved another guy. But is it so important for the story?"
"Juri-san, today it's you who determines what's important for your story," the therapist smiled, putting something down into his pad. "I just specified something I was interested in. Please go on."
"So, they transferred, and I was left alone. At that time, I placed Shiori's photo into the locket we've talked about so much already. Well, talked a lot," she rephrased after a short pause. "I went on with my fencing practices, then I was chosen into the Student Council, and some time later I was granted a ring with the Rose Crest and took part in the duels. I've told you about them already, is there any need to repeat it?"
"I perfectly remember everything we talked about, Juri-san. But if you want to clarify or bring back something, I won't mind it, of course."
"No, there's nothing I'd like to add. The Student Council members fought each other for the right to get engaged to the Rose Bride, because the Engaged could obtain the power to revolutionize the world. I know it sounds weird, it sounded so for me as well… but I saw it myself, with my own eyes: the Castle over the Dueling Area, the Sword of Dios, emerging from the Rose Bride's chest, Dios himself, descending from the Castle… and other Council members saw it too."
"But nobody knew about the duels apart from the Council members, right?"
"Yes, I told you before. Only we and the End of the World, the mastermind behind the duels, knew. We were like a small inclosed sect," Juri smirked. "We adhered strictly to our ceremony and were obsessed with 'breaking the shell of the world'… Touga came up with that wording, as well as with all our rituals. He always sought to manipulate us, to force his rules on us. I never liked him, and not only because of this. His manners, his narcissism, his umpteen fangirls whom he treated like toys… he tried to make a pass at me, too. But I always wore my locket and rejected him with cold contempt. It's strange, actually, that we never had a real fight – there were enough occasions, but I didn't confront him directly even once. I was a guard of my locket and the secret hidden in it, and my every effort was for the sake of that vigilance," she smiled sadly as the therapist looked at her. "I, with my locket, resembled Miki with his stopwatch: he always had that thing with him, just like me, and never explained to anybody what for, even when asked again. By the way, I never asked him about it, because I knew myself how difficult and uncomfortable it was to avoid them. I've told you about Miki, haven't I?"
"You haven't mentioned the stopwatch before," the therapist smiled with the corners of his mouth.
"Miki is the youngest in the Council, a very nice guy. He told me once, that his ideals were purity and discipline. It's a rare thing to hear, don't you think so?" the therapist nodded in agreement. "He always made me recall the times when three of us stayed together at the empty fencing facilities. By the way, he's also been on the fencing team, almost since I became the captain. I have to keep an eye on him," a warm smile touched Juri's lips. "Actually, I don't like that he takes part in the duels: that's not for him, especially with guys like Touga being around. I'd like to protect him from… from all of this," the therapist nodded, turning over the page of his pad. Even if Juri made an attempt, she wouldn't be able to see what his pencil had left on it.
"By the way, you told me he had a sister who attends to the same Academy."
"That's right. She's his twin, but a total antipode at the same time. She's filthy and ill. I don't think we should discuss her."
"Of course, Juri-san. Please feel free to go on."
"And then a new student transferred to the Academy, Tenjou Utena," the therapist nodded readily and a bit too fast, already knowing what name was going to be pronounced. "She had a ring with the Rose Crest, the same as ours, she challenged Saionji, Touga's friend, and won the Rose Bride. I've told you about it. After that, she would win a duel after a duel, including a match with me. I challenged her myself. I wanted to wean her once and for all from the fairy tales about princes and miracles which she tried to tell me. She reminded me of Shiori and her rose then, and I even suspected her of knowing everything. I hated that Tenjou Utena so much! Maybe even more that the monochrome Shiori in my locket! I couldn't understand why she defeated everybody, why she had that power. Finally, Touga took the Rose Bride away from her – it was inevitable, I think. And then I changed my attitude to her: having lost her Rose Bride, seemingly forever, she was so like me. And when she demanded a rematch from Touga, I gave her my sword, I still don't know why. I had a feeling that I did it as a compensation for something I should have done long ago but failed to. And she won, although it seemed to be impossible. Since that, Touga hasn't come to the Academy, and his position in the Council was overtaken by Nanami – his obnoxious but funny sister."
"Juri-san, does Nanami give a better impression than her brother?"
"Yes. Of course, she's a narcissist too, an impudent and spoiled girl, but… I don't know, maybe that's because she's still a child, but she doesn't seem really bad. Or do I just approve of her loyalty to her brother? Well, I don't know."
"All right, Juri-san, I believe I got you. You can go on."
"And then… then it all got finally confused. At first, duelists with black roses appeared. I haven't told you about them before. They weren't the Council members, and I didn't know who gave them the Rose Crest rings. Their rings were black, unlike ours, and they challenged Utena alternately. However, they didn't want to own the Rose Bride – they wanted to kill her. I don't know what for. They used the weapons they extracted from us, the Council members, in a way like the Engaged extracts the Sword of Dios from the Bride," the therapist looked up from the pad, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
"Did they take a sword out of you, Juri-san?"
"Yes," Juri replied quietly. "Shiori did it when she returned to the Academy. She tried to talk to me, but I decided to be cold. Even if there could be any relation between us, how could I accept her after what she had done? I decided to replace my love with hatred. And then Shiori saw my locket and came to know everything. After that she became able to extract the sword out of me and challenge Utena."
"And what was the outcome of their duel?"
"Utena won. But it didn't really matter. My secret was revealed, and I told you about it before."
"And who extracted the sword from Miki-kun?"
"His sister."
"And why didn't you mention the black duelists before?"
"The Black Rose Duelists," Juri corrected. "I don't know why. It all was too obscure, we didn't even know what we had to deal with. Only Utena could track down the one who gave them the black rings. It was Mikage Souji, a student who was the head of a seminar at the Academy. He invited them to his seminar, asked about their problems and suggested killing the Rose Bride as a solution. Utena challenged him."
"Hm, it's kind of similar to our sessions, don't you think so, Juri-san?" the therapist smiled, scribbling something into his pad. "And what happened to that Mikage?"
"I don't know exactly, but, as the Rose Bride is alive and engaged to Utena… And then I fought Utena again. I told you about Tsuchiya Ruka who used to be the fencing team captain before me and was a Council member. He had been hospitalized for a while, and he came back to the Academy right after the black roses incident. He started dating Shiori, and I, frankly, spied on them sometimes as they stayed by the fountain late in the evening, kissing each other, and then went somewhere to spend the whole night together. I was tormented by jealousy. And one day I realized that Ruka was aware of me and himself watched me watching them. That could mean only that Shiori told him everything. Then I asked him to part with her. He refused, teasing me, and I challenged him. No, not as a duelist, for the Rose Bride. Another thing was at stake: if I won, he was to dump Shiori, if he won, I was to do what he would tell me. He just had lost a duel with Utena before that, and I thought it would be easy to defeat him. But I failed. He won and told me to challenge Utena. Who knows, maybe I could win and become the owner of the Rose Bride, the one endowed with the power to revolutionize the world," Juri smiled ironically, "but Utena's sword broke my locket, and I tore the rose off my chest myself. I realized later that Ruka deliberately set up that farce with Shiori and duels only to help me o tget free from the locked and what I hid in it. I guess he's in love with me. He got hospitalized after that duel, and I must visit him, maybe on this weekend."
"Juri-san, do you want to say that Ruka calculated initially that Utena would break your locket?" that strange question was asked absolutely seriously, the therapist even put his pad aside.
"No, I don't think so," Juri smiled, like in reply to a friendly joke. "It happened at random. Ruka wanted me to defeat Utena, he wanted to make me fight. He thought, probably, that if I get the Rose Bride and the power of Dios I would be able to break free from Shiori. He wanted to give me the power to work miracles."
"I see," the therapist nodded, adding something to what he had drawn on the pad page. "Utena – it's a strange name. I think it comes from botany rather from nomenclature. Weren't you surprised with it?"
"Yes, that's a strange name," Juri replied, a bit confused. "But aren't there strange names?"
"There are, Juri-san. You're right – this name is not the most unusual thing in your story. So, you described me the situation and even analyzed several aspects, and I'm very grateful to you for it. Now we shall pass to the next stage – we're going to figure out what's wrong with it, and here my help will be required. Now I'll present several facts to you which are directly connected to your story and, on their basis, we'll try to sort out your problems, Juri-san. Are you ready?"
"Yes," the confidence in Juri's tone reassured the therapist.
"Let's get started, then. First: Kaoru Miki-kun, your younger friend, sleeps with his twin sister, and you were a witness to their sexual intercourse while staying at his home during summer vacations. Kaoru Kozue, my patient, told me that herself. Second: Kiryuu Nanami-chan, Kiryuu Touga's sister, is seven years old and attends another school, and that's why she couldn't act for her brother in the Council. If you don't believe me, you can check it out yourself by calling to her school. By the way, that Touga himself had been expelled both from the Student Council and the Academy for close to seventy percent absence along with his pal Saionji Koichi. Third: Tsuchiya Ruka died in a couple of days after being hospitalized, and you're aware of it as well, as his death was announced in the Academy, and you took part in memorial events yourself. And, finally, fourth: a student called Tenjou Utena has never transferred to your Academy, Juri-san, and you know it, too, as you've never met and couldn't meet her. Moreover, there's not a single person in the city bearing that name. Juri-san, you aren't going to deny these facts, are you?" Juri's face was pale, her hands clutching the chair armrests nervously.
"No, but I… in fact, I don't get… listen, it's not quite…" she paused, biting her lip anxiously.
"Juri-san, you see, I don't force anything on you and don't persuade you in anything. You told me your story yourself, and I just reminded you of several details the verity of which you recognize. You're aware of the truth, but you need to face and accept it, even if it's not what you'd like it to be. You mentioned today that you could find in Shiori's words what you wanted to find, even if she meant totally different things. Let me add something to it, Juri-san: you can not only find what you want where it's not present, but also ignore what you don't want, even if it's absolutely obvious," the therapist stood up, leaving the pad on his chair seat."
"Now I'll try to sum up your story with my facts to get the full picture, if you don't mind," Juri kept silent. "Thank you. You problem, Juri-san, is, on the one hand, in your repressed homosexuality, and, on the other hand, in your disappointment in the person you love. Back then, at the first stage of your story, you, being ashamed of your homosexual love, failed to confess to Shiori as you were afraid of being condemned, first of all, by her. Shiori was so precious for you that you were afraid of her leaving more than of your feelings remaining unrequited. Those times were happy, in fact, and your inability to confess only helped your imagination to create an ideal image of hers, an image of pure and innocent Shiori watching your perfect lounging with admiration and then picking a rose for the beautiful winner," the therapist took a breath, imagining Shiori with a rapier in her hands.
"But then it turned out that the image you made up was far from reality, when Shiori betrayed you. She envied you, Juri-san, envied your beauty, your talent and your popularity. At first, she tried to become your sidekick, and then, when she had a chance to steal at least something from you, took away the fencing team captain, as she thought herself, but in fact she stole the ideal Shiori you loved. And since then your duality has developed: on the one hand, you hated her for betrayal, on the other hand, you didn't want to let the image of ideal Shiori go. And you joined those contrary sides of your soul in your ill-fated locket – an inmost deposit for the hated image of your loved one. You didn't understand your own feelings back then and focused on the locket, an embodiment of your shameful secret you vowed to keep forever. But even you locket wasn't enough for both Shioris, the hated and the ideal, so you partially shifted the second one on your friend, Kaoru Miki-kun, in the form of the idea of purity and virtue from the past times."
"At our third session you told me that you're indifferent to your numerous fans, but always touched when Miki-kun praises you. That's why you always were so protective of him: you didn't want him to fence with you, you wanted him to watch and admire. You shifted a part of the role Shiori played in your past on him. And since you caught him and his sister in bed, you've started ignoring the real Miki at all, dealing only with his ideal image in your head, shifting all his vices on his sister, ignoring the fact that they share their sins. That's how you lived, with your sacral locket and the sublimated Shiori disguised as Miki, until the real Shiori came back to your Academy. And, along with her, everything you've got used to call dark secrets of the past returned. Your pain, your umbrage, your hatred came back to life, but your suppressed desperate love living on the hope for the impossible, got a new impulse. You wanted to punish Shiori for her betrayal, but at the same time you were ready to forgive her if she shares your feelings…" the therapist paused, striding across the office. That was a very short distance.
"And you didn't know what to do: to ignore Shiori, despise her and be cold to her, or to do what you felt right but didn't want to acknowledge, what you felt you should have done long ago – to confess your love to her, even if it was shameful and embarrassing. On the one hand, you were repressed by the shame of your homosexuality and your deep-seated grudge against Shiori, on the other hand – by your vexation at yourself for lacking the courage to accept and confess your feelings. And from that conflict Utena appeared – the personification of your resentment at your own weakness, a ghost of what you could have become if you weren't ashamed of yourself, your conscience. Unlike you, Utena didn't hope for the impossible, didn't make up dark secrets and didn't care too much about what others would say – she did what she felt right, what her heart dictated, and that's what you hated most of all about her. She was a bitter reproach to you. However, Utena couldn't appear out of blue – she has been dwelling your mind for a long time, although she hadn't had a clear image – so you made up a background for her."
"Utena came to fight for the Rose Bride – the one Shiori picked for you long ago – as the Engaged would obtain the power to work a miracle, that very miracle you hoped for. Why duels and fights? Probably, because you're a fencer and kind of weapons freak: you interpreted the story in the images most convenient for you. Apart from Utena, your competitors were Miki, that is the ideal Shiori from the past who didn't let you go, Touga, or rather an image based on him of the patriarchal homophobic world forcing heterosexuality on you, and the image of his friend Saionji, kind of Touga's extension allowed by you to the tournament only to give Utena the possibility to win over the Rose Bride and get engaged to a girl, that is to do what you've always wanted, Juri-san. Utena showed you how easy it was what you always deemed to be impossible. Then she attacked Miki, showing how wrong it was to live on the memories of the past. And then you faced her yourself, Juri-san, trying to justify yourself by stating that there are no miracles. But she worked a miracle in reply and won the duel. Her victory was a reproach to you, to your lack of will, to your seeking for excuses instead of possibilities."
"Then Utena was challenged by Nanami, Touga's sister, of whom you heard once but have never seen her. Most probably, you made that duel up later, after two next ones, to justify replacing President Touga with President Nanami. And then Utena fought Touga, who tried to force on her, like on you, sexual relations with him, in your interpretation – heterosexuality. Utena lost the first duel as he was a really strong rival, but you knew what to do – unlike you, Utena never gives up, and that's why you were waiting for her at the imaginary dueling area to lend her your sword for the final battle with Touga, as you correctly defined it, as a compensation for being afraid of being condemned instead of listening to your heart. As Utena beat Touga up, he left – most probably, you copied his self-banishment from his real life being expelled from the Academy – and he got replaced with Nanami. She's not as repulsive as her brother, as she represents your changed image of the patriarchal world. You don't consider it invincible anymore, and thus your struggle against it is no more desperate and doomed, making you able even to notice its positive aspects."
"And then you found a place for me, or rather for an image of me," the therapist smiled noticing Juri's wide eyes. "Mikage Souji is the name from the plate on my office door. You didn't pay it attention as it's not mine anyway – it's the name of my predecessor, and I'm afraid my name will be here only when I'm retired myself – but you remembered it unconsciously. Mikage attempts to kill the Rose Bride manipulating real people like Kaoru Kozue and Shiori – that's the reflection of your idea of me trying to ruin you imaginary world by referring to your real life and the people in it. Don't worry," he raised his arms, smiling, "I'm not angry at you. Frankly, I'm even flattered with you granting me such a romantic, although villainous, role. Utena tracks down Mikage and fights him. You don't know the exact outcome of the duel, but suppose Utena won as the Rose Bride remains with her – I'm sure you added up this detail after our previous session: you gave me an adequate repulse and you think that Utena, your conscience, revealed the maliciousness of my intentions. That's quite logical – I apologize again for the wrong approach I chose that time."
"Speaking of the black roses, you mentioned Shiori revealing the secret of your locket. Of course, it never happened in real life – it's just a symbolic interpretation of your telling me about the locket: as you've never told anyone about it, you felt as if you told it to the whole world and to Shiori in the first place. Meanwhile, you try to be cold with Shiori in real life, but you can't ignore what you feel when she's near, that agitation, almost panic. You don't like her manipulating your emotions that easily, and the idea of being released from Shiori comes to your mind. In your duel world it took the form of the former fencing team captain who inherited his name and appearance from Tsuchiya Ruka and a crash on you from that guy who used to date Shiori. Ruka acted to reconcile you with your frustrated desires: he became Shiori's fiancé for you and he made her suffer, which you mentioned at our fifth session, as a punishment for her betraying you."
"As he satisfied your desires for you, her wanted you to forget Shiori and thus contradicted Utena who demanded you to accept your repressed homosexuality immediately and viewed Shiori as the only object for it. And then you challenged Utena again, this time trying to justify yourself with your agreement with Ruka. You wanted to persuade her that you just keep your word, not give up on a dream. But you can't deceive Utena that easily. In this duel, you lost your locket and surrendered to Utena. It's the end of the story, Juri-san. And the problem is that you don't understand it, and that's why your story is repeated in your mind again and again, from session to session, the imaginary Dueling Area isn't going to set you free. Where your symbols and images form a harmonic picture, you see only a dead-end contradiction, and that's why they become haunting phantasms dragging you into the fictional world of your imagination."
"I… I don't actually get you," Juri's voice was cold, trembling a bit. Her hands were on her lap, playing with shawl fringe nervously. A vague hope came to the therapist's mind that, maybe, she would get him this time.
"I'll try to explain your images with words. You got rid of the past, that's right. You realized that the image of the ideal Shiori had nothing to do with the real Shiori, and that you'd better just forget her, as she doesn't deserve your love and her treacherous nature will be punished by the life anyway, without any need for revenge on your part. But it doesn't mean that you should continue repressing your homosexuality and challenging Utena again and again. There's no contradiction between what Ruka wanted and what Utena fought for. Having got rid of Shiori, you should just find another girl, the right one. These are the conclusions you've arrived at, Juri-san, developing the story line of your imagination. Here the story comes to an end, and now it's time for you to turn over the last page of the epilogue and say goodbye to your characters before they become evil ghosts like the monochrome Shiori from the locket, and you would have to look for other liberators. The world you conjured up is not an alternative to the real world, but just a tool to understand it better. It's okay to look in it sometimes to analyze your thoughts and feelings, but to escape into it completely is… impossible," the therapist avoided saying the disturbing word 'schizophrenia'.
"I'm sorry if it's an awkward question, but may I ask who it is?" asked Juri before leaving, gesturing at a framed photo on the therapist's desk. "Going on with the topic of portrait photos," she added, smiling.
"This? This is my nephew," he smiled politely in reply. "Goodbye, Juri-san."
"May I have your photo too?" asked Juri quietly, having closed behind herself the door with a nameplate saying: "Mikage Souji. Therapist."
"What for?" asked Utena, surprised.
"I want to place it into a locket I bought today."
Today Utena is heading through the Rose Gate to the last duel, the duel named 'Revolution' to face the End of the World.
The therapist, having put the pad on his desk, got seated and sighed heavily. Today's session wasn't easy, but it seemed more successful than all the previous ones. He took one more look into the pad and put it into a drawer. Of course, she'll come again. Her complexes are too deep, there are too many things she isn't even aware of to be revealed and sorted out.
The man glanced out of a small window from which he removed the curtains right after Juri had left. He could see her walking a pathway along with Himemiya Anthy who had been waiting for her during the whole session in the corridor. That was she who persuaded Juri into undergoing therapy at his office. She was a very nice young lady and a good friend. Most probably, Juri had taked something from her for the Rose Bride. In that case, it wasn't surprising that she envied Utena's engagement.
He looked at the photo of a boy on his desk, and something changed subtly in his motionless face, as if it turned from a face of a living human into a face of a wax figure. It was strange to admit, but now he envied his patient: with his mentality, he wouldn't be able to believe neither in Utena, nor in the power to revolutionize the world.
