Running. My feet beating the ground in a rhythm with the pounding of my heart, each breath tore its way from my lungs. The only thing I could think of, the only words in my mind, were Aoshi…Okina. Over and over the words repeated themselves until they became a mantra, a chant to say faster and faster and help keep my feet moving. By the time I got to the hut I was beyond exhaustion, beyond pain. I was beyond worry and beyond care. My entire body was numb, and my thoughts were deadened beyond any coherence.

'Aoshi! Okina!' my mind yelled faintly. 'Wake up, Misao! You must DO something!' But I could tell it was too late. Too late! Oh gods, why, in your infinite cruelty, did you bring me here to see this? Why?

Okina was once the greatest fighter in the Oniwabanshu…but as he was then, he was no match for Aoshi. I say this without pride…because Aoshi was insane. He was obsessed with gaining more strength, and nothing else. I saw it then. It was the first time I would admit that Himura had been right.

But all I could think of, as I stood there horrified, watching my Aoshi bear down upon my Okina for the killing blow, was, 'Oh gods…Aoshi…Okina….' Nothing more. I stood, lax-jawed and helpless, inside the doorway. Aoshi's double kodachi were honed to a razor's edge. They cut through Okina's steel tonfa…I couldn't bear to watch, but I couldn't turn my face away. It was as if this moment would be burned into my eyes forever, a silent tribute to the two men I loved most: one as a grandfather, the other as the lover he would never be.

As Aoshi walked away from the battle, victorious, I forced myself to say something…one word. "Aoshi…." That word was filled with everything. All my longing for him, all my worry, my care, my heartache, all the searches I'd made for him, my denials of his insanity until I could deny it no more, all this in one word. Every kind word he'd said to me, every time we'd touched, every moment I'd been with him, they all flew from my heart and, swirling up into a vortex of longing, escaped in that one moment of weakness.

He brushed past me as if I were part of the wall, and kept walking. I thought I would die. I thought I would drop to the ground and my soul would leave my body from the pain I suffered. I let everything I felt for him show…. I told him I loved him in that one word. But to him, I did not exist. I did not think that such agony could be survived.

Then, he stopped. He stopped walking a few metres beyond the doorway. I gazed hungrily at his back, needing a word from him (but a word!) to lift me from that pit of despair. It was the only thing in the world that I wanted anymore. Just one word from my Aoshi's lips. Just one.

Without turning, he spat out, "I never want to see your face again." And walked out into the morning mists.

I fell to my knees on the ground. My eyes stared out into nothing; my hands lay limp at my sides. My body trembled violently, but my soul…my soul was utterly still.