This story...haha...this story is clearly a joke, and it's rated T because come on, its just bad jokes.
A friend on Elder Scrolls Online mentioned how terrible these books were in the series, and also gave me a hard time for writing fanfiction. In jest, they suggested I write something like the Lusty Argonian Maid.
I don't think they actually thought I would. But a challenge is a challenge.
So, this story is dedicated to you, xSharrrp.
ACT IV, SCENE III, CONTINUED
One-Who-Stares: Say it
Ella Goose: Argonian?
One-Who-Stares: No, the other
Ella Goose: Vampire?
One-Who-Stares: Yes
Ella Goose: My, how terrible! Always having to bite people to eat
One-Who-Stares: Biting isn't just for eating, dear one
Ella Goose: Oh? What else could you possibly use teeth for but to eat?
One-Who-Stares: In time you will understand
END OF ACT IV, SCENE III
ACT VI, SCENE VII, CONTINUED
Ella Goose: I have finally found the Nirnhoned trait!
Takes-Shirt-Off: Whatever does that do?
Ella Goose: It increases my physical and spell resistance
Takes-Shirt-Off: Truly? Then, we should test it against my new two-handed weapon, crafted with the sharpened trait
Ella Goose: Sharpened?
Takes-Shirt-Off: It increases my physical penetration
Ella Goose: How useful for your weapon!
Takes-Shirt-Off: Very useful indeed
One-Who-Stares: Not so fast, you would need to try first against my armor set, Vampire's Kiss
Ella Goose: Oh my, what a lovely crafted set! Do you think I should have such a set?
One-Who-Stares: Oh yes, a Vampire's Kiss indeed
Takes-Shirt-Off: No, no, that won't do for your build, my dear. Try instead the Seducer
END OF ACT VI, SCENE VII
I regret nothing!
Actually, I am shaking my head at this. Also, hmm...what else could I possibly be making fun of here...
Hope you enjoyed, all
