High school, supposed to be the best 4 years of your life right? But when you're in grade 10, in love with a guy who's your best friend... Life sucks. Now I know what you're thinking. That's not too bad. Did I forget to mention that I'm a guy and I happen to know that Dean Winchester is the straightest guy I know. On top of that, I have a pretty religious family and I'm scared that they will never accept me. I have never been very religious; I went through a rebellious streak a few years ago. I got a bunch of tattoos and piercings. Suffice to say that my family wouldn't talk to me for quite a while. This brings us to the biggest problem, the self-harm. It's never constant, I never let it show but if I need release it's always there. In my dysfunctional family there is Balthazar, Lucifer, Michael and Gabriel. In order they are 26, 24 (Michael and Lucifer) are twins, 17 and then there's me 16. So here it is, my name is Castiel Novak and this is how the 10th grade was going to be different.

I pulled up to Edwards's high school, this was my second year here and you could defiantly say I was not popular. Don't get me wrong, I have friends. If you want I say my style was gothic pretty boy, you would be totally wrong. I tended to wear skinny jeans and a V-neck t-shirt both always black. But for friends, I did have some. There was Dean, Sam (dean's younger brother), chuck, Jo and Jess. We usually all met at south side of the school.

"Hey Cas!" Someone yelled from behind me.

"Hey Sam, where's your brother?"

"Oh he's just parking the Impala, he will be here soon."

Not a minute later I was jumped on from behind.

"Cas! My man, ready for grade 10?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. It's defiantly going to be some year!" I replied. God he was so close and he smelt so good. NO CAS, focus he is not gay and your best friend.

"So we have English, P-Fit and math together this year," Dean exclaimed. "This is good because you will so be helping me with my homework."

"Same old same old." I laughed.

We made our way to English. This was going to be an interesting class, not only did we have Ms. Ruby but I also shared this class with an extremely homophobic asshole. His life consisted of calling me gay and trying to convince everyone else, it's not like he was wrong but it's not like I'd even tell him that. So what's the first thing I hear when I get back in class?

"Hey gay boy! Back for another year?" Crowley yelled.

"Back off ass butt. I'm not gay and why wouldn't I be back? You're just a jackass and I have no time to deal with your idiocy." I retorted.

At that moment everyone was staring at me. I guess they never expected me to talk back to the biggest asshole in my school.

"What did you just say to me fag?" He growled.

"Are you that stupid that you don't understand me?" I yelled, honestly I was so done with this shit.

"I said back off. I am in no mood to put up with your shit. I have had enough of you being a jackass and have no time for your idiocy." Dean stood there dumb founded.

"Now back off and let me sit down," I growled. I pushed past Crowley and for once he moved out of my way.

After class I practically ran out of there, I really isn't want to be in there anymore, because seriously when you piss of the guy that has been ruining your life in past years. You tend to be afraid.

"Cas, Cas! Wait up!" I heard Dean yelling from behind me. I kept walking because honestly, I was still mad sat Crowley and I couldn't be responsible if something slipped out. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Jeeze Cas, what happened back there? One minute your fine and the next you're flipping shit at Crowley," dean exclaimed.

"..." I didn't know what I was supposed to say, I knew that dean didn't know how much Crowley's words hurt me.

"What do you want me to say Dean? I was sick and tired of being called gay boy and fag. It was starting to piss me off." I told him matter-of-factley.

"Come on its just guys joking with each other. No need to flip out. You know he's kidding," he reasoned.

Now I know that dean didn't know I was gay so he really didn't understand what it meant to me. Though I swear to god, I did not mean to say what I did. Especially since he was my best friend and I wasn't ready to lose him.

"It's only kidding around when the joke isn't true," I whispered. I didn't know how he was going to react.

"Hahahahahahaha..." Dean was cut short when he saw the look on my face.

"You mean... But I... Since when?" He was stuttering. I wasn't in to far yet; maybe I could still pass this off as one big joke and keep his as my best friend.

"Dean get real, I'm not gay!" I tried to lie, but Dean knew me to well.

"No Cas, don't even fucking try to lie now!" Dean almost yelled. He grabbed my arm and pulled me outside the hall not wanting everyone to hear this.

"Like I said, you don't get to lie to me now. So how long? How long have you been a fucking fag?" He spit at me. I knew that dean wouldn't take this easily but I didn't expect him to call me a fag. I was close to tears now, but instead of crying I turned it into anger.

"FUCK YOU," I screamed. "Shit I knew you would be shocked and okay maybe a little mad but I wasn't expecting you to be so homophobic. If I would have known that I would have waited till I was far away from you, until I came out"

I could tell my rant made Dean think about what he had said.

"Shut... Cas... I,I... Please." Dean stammered.

"No dean fuck off, we're supposed to be best friends and suddenly because I like guys you can't deal with this. Well then fuck this friendship. By the way to answer your question I have known I was a fag since 7th grade." I yelled. I was done at that moment, I turned and ran. My worst nightmare had just become a reality. He hates me, he knows I'm gay and he hates me. I needed release. I went to my favorite and most secluded part of the field. I made small cuts on my arm. It helps clear my mind. God I was so fucked up. By now I had missed most of my second period. After lunch, which consisted of me staying on the field and watching the foot team practice, the day went by quickly.