"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't particularly like the idea of wearing female clothing to satisfy your obvious underlying heterosexual needs."

"Is it too much for you to accept that I appreciate certain aspects of both female and male traits and fashion?"

"I'm sure as fuck that is true, but that does not mean I am going to cross dress for you. As far as my memory serves, I have already done that disturbing kink for you in a few previous birthdays of yours."

"Dressing up as a school girl and forcing me to help you with Geometry hw is not what I call the best birthday present." Craig cringed as he remembered his eighteenth birthday. No amount of seductiveness from Tweek Tweak can overcome the major boner kill of mathematics.

"Would you just accept the fact we were never successful in the kinks of role playing so I can just finish my coffee and head to school? Or would you rather not pound my ass for the next three weeks?"

"Tweek, you know as much as I do that sort of deal is going to harm you more than it does to me."

"Says the man who has been caught wacking it off in the bathroom multiple times during the time we were abstinent for a four day time span."

"Touche."


Don't take my writing seriously. I mean it.