Diclaimer: I do not own HP.
Pain.
Lost.
Lonely.
Bitter.
Regret.
Pictures of the past flashed away in front of his eyes. His whole life suppressed into a 5 seconds tape. And all he felt was those five things, those five miserable things. Those were the words that could summarise his whole life.
Everything that ever happened in his life was black and dull. Everything. Except for one thing. Something red passed his eyes. It was the most brilliant colour he had ever seen. It was a rich orange, with a light tinge of mahogany. It was the most unique colour on earth. And then, beneath the layer of red, came something green. A pair of beautiful, crystal clear green eyes was looking at him. They were as deep as the colour of the sea, and as pure as the leaves on the trees.
And suddenly, he felt something else. Love.
Lily Evans was the silver lining of his cloudy, grey life. She was the only colourful thing that happened to him. She was the best thing that ever happened to him.
With a thud, Severus Snape landed on a white floor. It was rather peculiar, since he didn't feel himself flying at all. He looked up to find himself standing in a white room. Whether it is actually a room or not, he didn't know. Everything was so purely white, it was hard to say where this endless room ends.
Snape was wondering whether this is where he would spend the rest of eternity, when a shadow appeared in front of him. It looked like a ghost, which was strange, since Snape was already dead and (as he looked done as his body) he didn't look like that. And then, like when a camera was on automatic mode, the image zoomed into focus and Snape saw that same red hair and green eyes again.
She was as beautiful and young as she had always been. "Hello, Severus." She said and smiled at him. That smile that he had never forget, even for a second in his long, tormenting life.
His hand immediately reached out for her, but halfway up, it fell down to his side. He knew that he did not deserve her, what with the way he had treated Harry. He had let her down, for the second time, the first being choosing Dark Arts over her.
To his surprising, Lily stepped closer to him and took his hand. "Thank you, Sev."
"Why, Lily?" he said. His voice was full of pain.
"Thank you, for looking after Harry."
Snape only looked at her. She was still smiling at him.
"He looked like James Potter, Lily. But he had your eyes." Snape said.
"Was that why you treated him that way, Sev? Was it because he looked like James?" Lily asked gently.
"Isn't it obvious?" he said weakly. "I –" he took a deep breath, and avoid her penetrating green eyes. "I love you, Lily."
Lily suddenly let go off his hand. He looked up and saw Lily looking at him sadly, tears swelling up in her eyes. "Sev, I want you to let go off the grudge you had with James. Didn't James say sorry to you?"
"He took you away from me, Lily."
"He didn't. I know you know that." Lily's green eyes were looking intently straight into his. "So please, Sev, let's make this right. Let go off the grudge between James, and love Harry more."
"I –" Snape opened his mouth. 'Love Harry more.' He had never liked that child.
"Sev, I know you love Harry. You would say that you only helped him all these years on behalf of me, but no, that is not the truth." Lily said. "I know that you have treated badly for all these years, and sometimes you regret doing so."
Snape only listened.
"I want you to seek inside your feeling the truest, most accurate feeling you feel about him. It's not too late, Sev."
Severus followed what she said. He searched his feelings. That love that he felt for those green eyes were the only positive feeling he had in mind. The image of those green eyes had appeared in front of him again. But these ones didn't belong to Lily. They were Harry's. It was his image, entering the Great Hall for the first time. And again, those green eyes were bespectacled, half hidden by the rim of the Sorting Hat.
Lily wasn't the only colour in Snape black and white life. Harry was also a colour. He didn't know when but Snape had grown to care for that boy like a father care for a son. And slowly, with his realisation of that feeling, his hatred towards James Potter was gone.
Snape exited his mind palace and searched for Lily. But she was already fading away. "Also, Sev, your Patronus is wonderful. Thank you, for loving me." She sounded like a faint whisper. And then she was gone.
Snape hadn't have time to remorse, because he was quickly tumbling in to a dark pitch which suddenly appeared in the white floor.
A/N: Just a short something I thought of. I don't really expect anyone to like it or anything. I think Snape actually felt something fatherly to Harry, and decided to write it down. I also want the poor man to be able to see Lily one last time. So - erm - leave a review, if you want to, and thank you.
~ black hippogriff ~
