Goose: Ah, just a random little one-shot, inspired by the babysitting Harry stories in the Harry Potter section.

Dwarfy: Goose owns nothing! Ah, it's good to be back... because somebody won't put me in the openings for her Harry Potter stories.

Goose: Well then.

"-Don't forget her nap, don't give her anything to eat before bed, and please, be careful!" twenty-five year old Rima Fujisaki nervously instructed the four men sitting lazily in her living room. She and her husband, Nagihiko, were going out for the night and had no choice but to leave their one-year-old daughter, Hana, in the care of Nagihiko's four best friends: Tadase Hotori, Kukai Souma, Kairi Sanjo, and Ikuto Tsukiyomi.

"We'll be fine, Fujisaki-san," Tadase calmed her, "I'm sure Hana-chan will be a little sweetheart."

Rima glared at them. "You'd better, because if any of you hurt one hair on my baby's head, I swear, I will castrate all of you."

The quartet eyed her warily. "You wouldn't," Kukai said hesitantly as Nagihiko walked in the room.

"I wouldn't be so sure," the purple-haired man said with raised eyebrows. "She's tried to do that several times in the two years we've been married. Pure evil, that woman-" Rima glared, "-not that I don't love her with all my heart and soul..."

As the rest of the guys shuddered, Kukai shooed the couple out the door. "Go on, have fun! We'll be fine with Hana!" he said merrily, and before Rima could say anything, he slammed the door in their faces.

The four of them walked up the stairs to the nursery, which was decorated in light pastel colors. Creeping silently over to the crib, they looked down at the purple-haired infant that was sleeping quietly- for now.

"She looks just like her father," Tadase whispered, looking at the innocent face. However, Kukai and Ikuto, who visited often, knew better: the child was a demon, just like her mother.

Hazel eyes fluttered open, and Hana looked around at the four faces peering down at her.

"Ick-toe! Kooky!" she cried in delight, waving her arms at her two favorite "uncles". Kukai picked her up and she giggled happily.

"Yep, Uncle Ikuto and Uncle Kukai are right here!" he laughed, rumpling the tuft of hair.

Tadase frowned. "Why does she like you two so much?" he wondered out loud.

Ikuto smirked. "Because Kukai visits here a lot, and I follow Amu here a lot," he said teasingly as Tadase grew bright red in anger.

Sensing the tense atmosphere, Hana did the only thing she could: scream. A lot. Kukai, startled by the sudden outburst, nearly dropped her, which only caused her to scream louder.

Panicking, Kukai shouted above the noise, "What do we do?"

Kairi looked thoughtful. "There are several things that may cause discomfort or uneasiness for an infant. For example-" Hana screamed more.

Tadase, frantic, searched around the room for something that could calm the child down. Snatching a rattle off the floor, he handed it to the small girl. She quickly chucked it at his head.

Nursing the newly-forming bruise on his forehead, Tadase looked around for something else that might help. He spotted a pacifier in the crib and carefully brought it over and stuck it into the child's mouth. Sighing in relief, the four boys looked at each other, all thinking the same thing: This was going to be a long night.

Three hours later...

Two diapers, four mysterious disappearances, seven fits, and multiple swear words later, Hana was sleeping peacefully in Tadase's arms. They were back in the living room and were all seated on the couch, half-asleep.

As Rima walked in the front door, the four were suddenly wide awake (because they were fearing that Rima may carry out her threat). The blond walked into the living room and spotted Hana in Tadase's arms, waving her arms towards her mother and cooing.

"Let go of my baby!" she cried, taking her daughter from him. "Keep your sparkly gayness away from my child!"

Nagihiko walked in the room and looked at them. "Now, Rima, aren't you overreacting?"

Rima huffed. "Fine. Let our only child grow up to have serious gender issues like the rest of your family."

Nagihiko looked thoughtful. "On second thought, Tadase, get out."

Tadase gasped. "B-But I didn't-"

A dark aura surrounded the Fujisaki couple as they simultaneously hissed, "OUT."

Whimpering, Tadase scampered out the front door.

Turning to the other three as if nothing ever happened, Rima smiled innocently and asked, "Was everything alright?"

Knowing better than to say no, they nodded frantically, until...

Hana gurgled happily and cried out several words that shall not be repeated to protect the youth of the world. (A/N: In short: I don't know ^-^;)

Rest in peace, Kukai Souma, Ikuto Tsukiyomi, and Kairi Sanjo. May the next generation know better than to teach Hana Fujisaki swear words, unless they want to feel the wrath of Rima Fujisaki. They were her first, but certainly not last, victims.

The End

Goose: Man, epic fail. I couldn't think of anything to put in-between the beginning or end. So let's just leave that to your imagination.

Dwarfy: And thus, I am no longer needed, as Goose returns to her Harry Potter stories.

Goose: Hey, remember what I'm doing for you this summer? Anyway, are there any Sisters Grimm fans that read my stories? I just got The Inside Story, and I'm so happy~

Dwarfy: Please review!