Warning: Slash and smut. This may or may not be as close as I've ever come to writing actual porn.
Word Count: 1526
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Brutal.
Author's Notes: What what, in the butt. I… yeah.
Night in the Dethbus
After only a brief hesitation, he slipped soundlessly into the room and under the heavy white blanket. Skwisgaar didn't react, even though Toki could tell from the way he was breathing that he was still awake.
If things were normal, Skwisgaar would never have let him get as far as the bed before snapping at him to get the fuck out – but things weren't normal. They were all scared and unhappy. They were living in the bus, for fuck's sake, while all remaining klokateers were on twenty-four hour paranoia watch. No one wanted to be alone in the dark.
Toki scooted a little closer, rolling onto his side to face Skwisgaar's bare back. A little less hesitation on the part of their attackers, and there would be nothing there to face. Like with Charles.
He knew he shouldn't, but a tight feeling had already settled in his chest and he wanted, needed some kind of assurance, some warm and breathing proof of life that had nothing to do with how fleeting it always seemed to be. Toki reached out cautiously and touched Skwisgaar's shoulder because he felt so terrifyingly alone.
Skwisgaar didn't react much – just shifted closer too, maybe for the same reason or just out of habit – so Toki kept touching. Just fingertips, just a light touch on pale skin. He slid his hand all the way down the other man's side to his hip (which was, of course, just as bare as the rest of him), leaving without knowing it a trail of goose bumps.
Finally, Skwisgaar lifted his head and glanced over his shoulder. "What ams you doing?" he asked – but quietly. It was an honest question, not what Toki had expected at all. It shocked him into an honest answer, something he hadn't been unguarded enough to give since his father's death.
"I'm scareds," he whispered.
Skwisgaar dropped his head back down with a dismissive sigh. "Ja, I t'inks we all ams."
The bleak truth of it made Toki squeeze his eyes shut and unintentionally grip Skwisgaar's naked hip. He didn't realize that last part until Skwisgaar displaced his hand by rolling over to face him.
"Whats you wants, Toki?" Skwisgaar asked, a little impatiently. "You evens knows whats you ams doings here? Because if you just ams here to cries abouts besings scareds den I don'ts wants to haves be listeninkgs to dat."
Now that was more like what Toki had expected to hear from the lead guitarist, and he had to bite his lip to stifle a relieved laugh. Of course he knew what he wanted; he wanted to touch and be touched, hands on skin, and pretend that people were alive and everything was okay. His hand crept back to Skwisgaar's hip with more purpose than before.
"I knows what I's doings, Skwisgaar."
"Proves it," Skwisgaar retorted. "Goes aheads and shows off what you t'inks you knows."
"Okays, I will." Immediately Toki sat up and pulled his shirt off over his head, dropping it where the pillows, on anyone else's bed, would normally be. He pushed the blanket back and drew his knees up to tug at his boots.
Beside him, Skwisgaar propped his head up on one hand and wrinkled his nose. "You wearsed you's boots ins my to beds?"
With a shrug, Toki tossed the boots onto the floor and started to work on getting his pants undone and off without standing up. "Ja, I guess I dids."
"You tracks de soots and craps intos it."
"So's? You didn'ts showers befores climbings in, it's coverds in all dats alreadies."
Skwisgaar opened his mouth to argue, then rolled onto his back with a quiet pft. It had been… a long day.
Toki dropped his pants on the floor and turned to look at him. "Skwisgaar?" he asked hesitantly.
"Whats?"
"Where do you… keeps de lube?"
Skwisgaar snickered under his breath. "Fucks, Toki, you ams a real charmers all rights."
Toki frowned, but at least with the ridicule he was on familiar ground. "I saids I knows whats I wants, you saids proves it, I ask for lubes," he said, ticking off on his fingers. "Never saids never saids anyst'ing abouts charmings."
He watched as Skwisgaar rolled his eyes and leaned over the far side of the bed, reaching around underneath it. It gave him a nice view of the Swede's ass – which he'd seen before, everyone in the band had seen everyone else's ass at one point or another, so it wasn't a revelation or anything. Still pretty nice, though. He didn't realize he was smiling until Skwisgaar pressed a small tube into his hand with a smirk.
"You likes what you sees?"
Toki emptied a good portion of the tube's contents onto his palm, tossed it aside, and scooted closer. "Ja, I does," he replied quietly. "And don'ts make funs of me for dat, okays?" He scooted closer.
"Whys not?" Skwisgaar shot back, shivering a little as Toki pushed him gently to lie flat on the mattress and leaned over him. Brown hair fell down like a curtain around both their faces, making the already small bedroom (compared to his usual room) suddenly seem far more crowded.
"Because I don'ts wants you to, and I'ms in charge rights nows." If Toki concentrated, he could feel Skwisgaar's breath against his mouth getting steadily, gradually faster. He hovered there a moment, staring down and daring the other man to demand that something happen – and when Skwisgaar opened his mouth to speak again, that was when Toki pressed their lips together.
Skwisgaar grumbled a muffled complaint and kissed back, but without much force. He seemed willing to let Toki take control… even if only out of curiosity, to see what the younger man would do with it.
Whats you wants, Toki? You evens knows whats you ams doings here?
As if he hadn't thought about this often enough. But it wasn't just about living out a fantasy, or putting on a show, or even proving a point. Toki rubbed his hands together a bit and then reached down to brush his fingers over Skwisgaar's erection, his other hand sliding down his own body, for all those reasons and also because he could. Because he knew what to do, and Skwisgaar would let him.
He had a pretty good idea of what the lead guitarist expected – to be fucked, rutted in, inexpertly, as a token show of control and a momentary distraction. Toki had something different in mind, though. Maybe memorable, or maybe not, but he didn't really care about that.
The only thing he cared about right now, so he took special care in preparing.
Deep breath. Moving as swiftly as he could to take the other man by surprise, Toki positioned Skwisgaar's cock against his ass. Skwisgaar's eyes opened wide.
On the exhale, Toki lowered himself and took in as much of the Swede as he could all in one go. And the look on Skwisgaar's face was just priceless.
"Wh-where dids you learnings dat?" he asked, hands coming to a shaky, uncertain rest on Toki's thighs, sliding up to his hips. Digging in a little, just on the outside of actually painful, trying to drag him further down even though that was physically impossible.
"Nowheres. I does it wit' myselfs." A triumphant smile ghosted over Toki's face as he looked down at Skwisgaar. He had been so easy to distract, hadn't even noticed where the younger guitarist's other hand had gone. Hadn't so much as wondered. "You still t'inks Toki ams a little dildos criesbaby?"
Skwisgaar's mouth twisted into a semblance of his usual smirk. "I t'inks you uses dildos a lots," he retorted. He shifted his hips impatiently, sending little tremors though Toki's entire body. "Ams you goings to move now or whats?"
Grinning, Toki moved. He threw his head back in relief as he found the right angle, face slackening into a quiet moan. When he felt Skwisgaar's hand on his cock, he let it stay there – he was setting the pace, that was the important thing, and Skwisgaar could certainly keep up.
"Faster," Toki hissed, mostly to himself, and Skwisgaar followed, his other hand traveling curiously over Toki's back, exploring the scars. "Faster…"
They forgot about the attack. It could have been years ago, or never even happened.
Skwisgaar came first, with Toki gasping the order to against his ear, his fingers digging into old scar tissue. Then Toki, breathlessly, quick and hard, his eyes shut tight because he was afraid that Skwisgaar might see how much he needed it and tease him for that later.
He slid off and collapsed bonelessly on the bed next to the other guitarist.
After a few minutes, Skwisgaar mumbled up at the ceiling, "You's pretty goods at dat."
"T'anks," Toki replied.
Skwisgaar picked up Toki's shirt and used it to wipe his stomach clean. Then he dropped it on the floor. Toki didn't really care; he was already starting to drift off to sleep. He rolled onto his side next to Skwisgaar, their bodies touching, his mouth resting casually against the other man's shoulder, and Skwisgaar let him.
