Title: Of Heart and Lost Souls

TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Author: Beloved Slayer

Rating: T

Summary: Angel writes a letter to Buffy, right before he reverts to Angelus. One-shot.

Author's Notes: This is another one-shot from me, but this was entirely intentional, as I was planning on writing two one-shots before I can resume work on Pretty In Black. The story takes place during the events of Surprise, but ventures a little into alternate universe territory. Enjoy guys!

Chapter One

He looks upon her sleeping form, his eyes studying the curves, the eminent bare skin that he had touched only moments before, nestling peacefully underneath the red duvet covers, unperturbed. He had merely a few moments to spare before the inevitable would come to pass.

Eying a single piece of parchment and a feather pen panning near the edge of the dresser, he reached for the items, not wasting the remaining time he had left. Already he was shedding a tear for what he was about to lose, for what may appear to be forever gone from his world.

Dear Buffy,

When you wake up, things between us might never be the same again. You probably don't know about the curse, you probably do, but if there's a chance that you know what happens when that moment of perfect happiness becomes reality, then hopefully you'll know what to do, and that you won't hesitate, no matter if your feelings for me stay the same, regardless.

The next time you see me, I won't be who I was. I won't be the man you love. My soul will not be there; it will be gone. When that happens, I won't remember the love that I have for you, nor would I remember the memories of us being together, for I will soon become just a soulless monster. A monster that I was long before I met you.

If anything should happen to the world because of me, I want you to do one thing: Kill me. No matter our feelings, you can't put me before the safety of the world. You can't forget who you are, or what you were born to do. Do what you have to, whatever it takes, even if it means us not being together in the end.

No matter what happens after, the part of me that belongs to you will always love you. But in this situation, what's about to happen to me will sadly not be enough to save us.

I love you. Whatever happens, don't blame yourself. I would had rather died than not knowing you at all. Always remember that. Until we meet again.

-Angel.

When the last word was scribbled directly into the paper, he felt the first pang hitting from within his upper chest, the pain overwhelming, leaving him to gasp despite having no breath. Folding the parchment into three folds, he trotted outside to meet his unavoidable fate, stopping to give his beloved once last look before parting for the stairs, knowing that the next time they meet, they would be not of star crossed lovers, but of mortal enemies.