Chapter 1.
hai my name is Hayley Marielizibeth Q . Karli Midnight Swan and i live in forks wit my sistr Bella nd her hsbnd Edwarwd. i hav blak hair wit blond, red, purpl, nd orang streaks in it nd i am a sene kid. muh eyez r brown but sumtimez dey change tew purple nd i dun kno why nd i m pale white, but i am nut a vampyre lyke Edward or bela!111 and i hate fuking prepz! becuz they r total biotchez amirite? espcily maii sister, bella and her bf edward. dey r fukin prepz nd i hate dem!
and nao i am goin tew jamayca or somting wit dem. I dnt wnt tew go cuz edward is a pussy ass bitch and bella is a whiny ho. so yeah.
i tok my black leather miniskirt and my black top out of muh closet nd put it in muh blodred suitcase wit a rainbow on it. i just finished pcking fr da trip: we were leving furst ting in teh mornin after sunraise, wich i hated becuz i wuz a legit vampyre (unlyke bela, edward and his posr famly!) nd i hate da sun tew.
I went tew bed rite aftr dat cuz it wuz almoest midnite but i wuznt tired attall. nd i dreamed sene kid dreams dat only da REAL sene kidz haeve!
"wake up, hayley itz time tew go sooj! yu over slept!" muh stoopid sister sed da next mourning.
"wtf!" i got out of bed nd tok a tew ower shower, den i straightened maii hurrr nd teasd it tew look sene nd added a lot uf neon bowz nd ribbonz. den i put on all muh makeupz (wich wuz blak nd rainbow lyke a REAL sene kid lolz). after dat i put on maii sene blak nd rainbow tshirt nd muh blak skiny jeans wit a neon pink tutu. i tok muh sutecase off muh bed nd loked out da window. dere wuz a double rainbow. "wtf" i sed b4 going downstairz.
downstars bela and edward were sitting at teh kitchen tabl talking a bout someting i didnt care a bout.
"r u redy tew leave nao, Hyaley?" fuking eadward askd meh.
"duh of coars im ready gawd" i sed as i walked out da door. i sat in da passengars seat of edwares shity car so bela wood hav tew sit in da back.
den l8r we drove tew da airport nd we were on da plane. teh plane wuz crappy nd i had tew sit inbetwen a goffik gurl nd a ghetto phat blak lady. i tok out muh ipod nd played good charlotte becuz i felt lyke it.
"omg is dat good charlotte?/" da gurl naext tew me asked. she was wearing a blodred corset nd a blak miniskirt nd blak goffik fishnetz wit pentagram earings but she wuznt a slut. and her hair wuz ebony blak nd her eyez were blue lyke limpid teers wit alooot of blak eyelinr.
"yah." i replied scenely.
"kewl. wat'z ur name?" she replied goffikly. "muh name iz Enoby D'arkness Dementia Raven Way, lolol."
"omg lyke gerard way?/ and muh name is Hyalay Marielizibeth Q. Karli Midnight Swan."
"gerard iz da sexiest!" enoby said nd i agred wid her. and just lyke dat...
GERARD WAY GOT ON DA PLANE!
but of coars da only seat left wuz next tew muh slore sester bela and fuking gay ewdward. i gave dem da middle fignure wile me nd muh new bestie taked a bout how smexi gerard wuz! (A/N: we wanna sex him gud, rite gurl?/ lolz)
"yu little emo biches need ta stfu k cuz ur fuking annoying" da ghetto phat blak lady dat wuz next tew us said.
"Dat's mah gurl, Bonquiqui! Yu tell dem muddafugging emo keeds!" a gai in da front of da plane dat loked lyke a skinny mexican adam lambert stood up nd sed. he wuz wearing eyeliner (A:N: guyz dat wear eyelynr r so hawt! lyke pete wentz lol!111) but i cud tell he wuznt sene or gottik becuz he wuz dressed lyke a fuking prep!11
"wtf im not fuking EMO, im goffik!" ebondy sed all pissd off.
"yah me neither i wud never be fukin emo im SENE deres a differemce!" den we gave dem r middle fingures! becuz NO 1 callz me EMO becuz im SENE. dere's a BIG dofference nd if u dunt kno dat den ur stoopid! [A:N: TAKE DAT U FUKIN PREPZ! FUK U OK! FUK U!)
after da plane tok off nd we were in da air for a bout 2 howers we finally flew over da indian oceen nd over DA FUKING OIL SPILL (A:N: FUK U BP! FUK U FUK U FUK U! U FUKING SUCK 4 KILLING ALL DA AMINALS ND SPONGEBOB!) nd finaly we were almost tew jamayca!
BUT DEN...
DA PLANE STARTED TEW GET ALL FAIL!
"fasten ur seatbeltz plz we r experiencin some MINOR turbulence k." da flight attendant sed ovr da intercum thing. den da plane started tew fall!/ nd den dere wuz a loud silent explodion! "nvm, dats not turbulence da engine just esploded maii bad nd da pilot jus dyed tew nd no one else knos how tew fly a plan so we r all gonna dye. pls remain calm while i use da only parachute tew escape nd leave u all tew dye."
den some random guy ran up tew da front of da plane, grabbed da parachute, opened da emergenci door nd den jumped out of da plane. every1 watched as da parachute esploded upon release and as da random guy hit da top of da wing nd fell in2 da ocean tew his immediate deaf. "c i told u tew remain calm!1"
"omg! i dont want tew dye!" ebondy got all sad facd. "an i want tew c draco again!111"
"...who da fuk iz draco?"
"oh hellz no nigga wtf iz dis shit i thought dis shit waz furst class gurl i am geting a new travel agent fo'sho." bonquiqui sed as da latte she wuz holding spilled all over da flore (ND ME!) becuz of how much da plane waz shaking.
"wtf!" i sed senely becuz maii sene clothez were ruind!
A/N: tankz 4 reading!11111111 i hope u lyked it cuz i worked on dis for almost a munth tryin tew maek it purfect lolz so plz r nd r!1111
