This is a Hetalia Parody of Onision's "How to get pregnant." :)


"Oh, 'ello, my loves." England laid sprawled out on a table, giving the most seductive look he could pull off with them huge ass brows. 'You know how to make the babies? Well, I tel you everything."

He sat up and threw his legs over the side of the table. "First, I need a woman to demonstrate."

the British man suddenly is standing with three men, looking rather confused themselves. He stared annoyed at them all and screamed, "These are not women... They are men!"

Russia stepped over, a smirk on his face. "I know how to do it."

England got all sassy and did the head sway thing with his lips imitating a duck's. "Oh, do you?"

Suddenly Russia was in front of a fireplace with a bottle of vodka in his hands that he had opened up and poured all over himself. "My mama does it with vodka. It makes her moist. Vodka makes her babehs-"

England burst out laughing high pitched like a manly school girl. "You idiot! That is not how you make the babies-"

"Then how do you do it, you meanie?!" Russia threw a tantrum.

"Doh, I show you!" England took out an bagel/english muffin and a sausage. "We take a muffin, and a sausage!"

Italy looked over his shoulder. "What'a do you'a do'a then?"

"Why don't you shut up?!"

Sad Italy fashe. :( Veh. Muthafucka-

England proceeded on and started to move the sausage closer to the bagel. "To take the sausage and..." After the other men were all like Oh yes put it in dere, He took a huge bite of the sausage. "You chop it!"

The men all screamed in horror ike NOOOOOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

"That's not how you do that!" America jumped in and pointed out.

"Okay, then you tell me!"

America smirks. "Babies aquire lubrication." and with that he got ketchup out and poured it all over his body, slow and seductive-like.

"Now what, genuis?!" England panics.

"We're supposed to rub together...~" America whispers.

The two males do rub together. Their cheeks! They rub slowly, aking incoherent noises that sound like whales or rhinos.

"That's not how you do it!" Italy waved his flag for attention. "Like this!" He then proceeded to just... Stare at the front door. Concentrating hard.

The door opened and in came Germany. "Hallo, I'm home-" And he got hit in the forehead with a meatball. "...Oh no, I'm pregnant."

The other men all clapped their hands in amazment, Italy smiling happily.

England then got a meatball and threw it at America's head, laughing.