I own nothing and make no profit off it. All credit goes to Oda-Sensei


"I'm not going."

Zoro felt the vein in his temple throb at those carefully articulated words. "Nami -"

"No!" The red-headed girl burst out, slamming her fist on the mahogany bar counter. Zoro sighed. There it was. Nami might seem like she could hold her liquor for a good, long time, but once she got hammered, she was impossible. And violent. And as Zoro had 6 am practice the next day, he just wanted to go home and sleep and not deal with her shit. Why were they friends again?

"Nami-" Zoro tried again, but got cut off by three more violent thumps on the bar. Zoro saw the bartender, a blond guy with a curly eyebrow , look over in their direction. He scowled. He didn't like the guy. The bartender had been eyeing Nami all night, and not paying attention to the absolutely gorgeous woman currently sipping from a mug, who the bartender had spent most of the night chatting up. Nami might be an annoying pain-in-the-ass, especially when she was drunk, but she was one of his closest friends, and best friends didn't let best friends get hit on by a two-timing bastard.

"No! Zoro! You need to get laid!" Nami articulated loudly and clearly, probably in an attempt to prove that she wasn't drunk. Unfortunately, she was a bit too loud and clear, because half the people around them turned to stare at her, and then at him. Zoro noticed that the bartender and his attractive partner were part of that group. "Zoro, you haven't even been kissed yet! You're an adult, we just graduated from University, hell, even Luffy has to have done something with Hancock! I'm worried about you, you big oaf!" She slumped back in her chair, and heedless of her large, now rapt, audience, burst into heaving sobs.

Zoro scratched his head, his ears now red with mortification. He knew this was coming from her own insecurities about her attractiveness to the other sex since she'd never kissed a guy either. He supposed Nami was hot, by most standards, but she'd been like a sister to him for the longest time, so he wasn't the best person to reassure her now. She'd be sorry about pushing this kissing nonsense on him in the morning once she wasn't hung over. But that was rational Nami, and this was drunk Nami, and drunk Nami was likely to cause an even bigger stir if he didn't play along. Ah hell, it was just a kiss.

"Fine, I got it. One kiss, and then we go home, right?" He leaned down, and glared at her, "but no more dramatics, okay? No one's going to kiss me if they think my angry girlfriend is yelling at me."

"Ew! I'm not his girlfriend!" She sat bolt upright to announce this to the bar, "He's just my - hic - best friend from elementary school! Someone else - hic - fix him!"

Zoro wanted to dig a hole and never come out, but gamely stood up to scan the bar for someone who would at least play along. The sooner he got this over with, the better. He almost wished that he hadn't, though. The guys were all looking at him with a mixture of pity and amusement, while many of the women and even some of the men were eyeing him with derision or a predatory gleam. He was feeling remarkably like a sheep who'd just been let loose in a paddock of wolves.

"I'll do it."

The faintly amused voice was mellow like honey and smooth like whisky, and Zoro felt every syllable shiver down his spine when he realized it'd come from the very attractive woman who'd been talking to that asshole bartender all night. Now that she'd stood up to approach them, he realized that she was tall, taller than he was and built like a model with strong yet delicate features and a beautiful mouth that held the secretive, confident smile of a woman who knew her place in this world. She looked so well put together, with only a single lock of her black hair falling into her face. Zoro didn't know why that smile turned him on so much or why he wanted to brush back her hair so badly.

"Excuse me?" Zoro said, and instantly wanted to kick himself. She was hot, he'd kiss her, yet he still had to open his big mouth.

"I'll do it. I'll kiss you, since your," she glanced at Nami and her lips curved a bit more, "best friend here insists."

"Uh, I -" he involuntarily glanced at the bartender, giving his thoughts away. She caught where his eyes went, and her slight smile turned into a full on grin,.

"Sanji-kun, could I please borrow your office?" She asked the blond man. Zoro was too startled by her grabbing his hand to protest. She winked at him, "We have a bit of an audience here."

"Sure, but -" the blond man said, but before he could finish his sentence, Robin was already dragging him along,

"Wait, Nami -" Zoro started to protest.

"Your friend?" She asked, then called over her shoulder, "Sanji-kun, could you please look after best friend-san over there please?"

"Wait a minute!" Now, Zoro really wanted to dig in his heels as she led him through the bar and into the back door where the kitchen staff were scurrying in and out, "I can't just leave her with him!"

The mysterious woman let go of his hand and turned to face him, "Sanji-kun is a gentleman. He won't do anything inappropriate to your friend, and he won't let anything happen to her either."

"Gentleman, don't make me laugh," he grumbled.

"Sanji-kun is also a bartender who doesn't want to lose his license, and he's working right now. She'll be fine," She smiled at him, and leaned closer to him, "Now shall we?"

Zoro felt his blush come back and creep up his neck again. This close, he could smell her hair, and she smelled really good, like coffee and old books.

"R-right here? In the hallway?" he stuttered. Hell, he would take her wherever, but he wasn't mentally prepared for it!

"Arara, impatient aren't you?" she leaned even closer. Zoro instinctively scooted back, until he felt his back hit the door. Her hand reached around him to open it, "this is Sanji's office."

Office was a bit of a generous description. It was really a broom closet with a tiny desk, two chairs, a filing cabinet and a printer crammed into it. There was very little light coming in from the barred window, and he could still here the hum of chatter and the clatter of pans from the kitchen, as well as the waitstaff calling orders back. He was grateful for the support of the desk as he propped himself against it, while she shut the door, and all of the sudden, when she turned around to look at him, the space felt much too small for them both.

"Are you sure you want to do this? Don't worry, it'll be quick and it won't hurt," She teased with that maddening, arousing half-smile on her lips again. God those lips made him think of naughty, naughty things.

"I'm not a quick fire!" He protested, then realized that he'd revealed how deeply his mind had been in the gutter when she burst out laughing again.

"it's just a kiss," She said, "It can go for as long or as short as you want it to. But do you want to?"

"I don't know, I've never done it before," Zoro muttered.

"I can just go out there and lie to your friend," she offered, "you don't have to kiss me."

"No, she'd be able to tell," He muttered, not looking at her.

"She's too drunk to notice right now, and I'm a good liar," she smiled.

"No... I... want to," He admitted almost too low to hear. He was too embarrassed to look at her to notice she'd closed the distance between them, so the first brush of those erotic lips across his caught him by surprise.

Is my breath fresh? Holy crap she actually went for it! He looked at her now, into those beautiful coffee coloured eyes that were still laughing at him. The touch had been so He felt the zing of electricity from that light brush run straight to his groin, and every whisper of her breath against his lips was like a caress that made his lips tingle in anticipation.

"Close your eyes," she whispered, before she tilted her head and closed that infinitesimally small gap between them.

Zoro wasn't sure he'd forgotten to breathe or their breaths had just melded. His eyes closed, and his world narrowed down to that one moment and her lips. She tasted like coffee and kahlua, and felt like someone was sending little jolts of electricity down his spine every time her lips caressed his slowly, coaxing him into a sensuous rhythm. Her lips were so soft, but firm, and he knew he should feel clumsy as they teased him into gasping, but at this moment, with her leaning over him, and her lips on his, he didn't care. He just knew he had to have more.

She broke the kiss briefly to catch her breath, but Zoro wasn't ready to let her go. His hands came off the desk, blindly grasping for her like a drowning man reaches for a life saver. One hand went to cup her chin to bring her mouth back to his, and one hand buried itself in the dark silk of her hair against the small of her back, reaching to draw her back into his arms again. She felt so right in his arms. This time it was him demanding, not knowing what he was asking for, His lips were clumsy, and desperately tried to find that sensual rhythm she had established before. When her hands came to cup his face, pushing him into just the right angle, and her lips coaxed his open again, he found that rhythm as old as time.

And groaned when he felt her gently nip at his swollen, oversensitive lower lip, and tease his tongue into the battle. He was drowning in sensation after sensation, touch after touch, tease after tease, but it was that smile that he felt against his lips that drove him crazy. He learned to match her rhythm, demanding more, teasing her. He didn't want to be the only left gasping for air, but at this point, he'd forgotten how to breathe.

This time, when she drew away, he didn't fight it. He was too dazed, too overwhelmed, and too, too hungry for more. He noticed with satisfaction that he wasn't the only one. She looked mussed and a bit out of breath as well, and her hand crept up to her face to touch her lips.

"Well, Kiss Virgin-san," She looked at him now with a full, beaming smile, "I don't think you need to be fixed at all."

Zoro was still a bit too dazed by her words to really register that she'd hurriedly opened the door and left until a new busboy dropped the pans in the kitchen. The loud sound jarred him awake, only for him to realize that he'd never gotten her name.

Stumbling to get his two feet under him again, he burst out of the hallway and into the open bar, frantically searching for that smile, those lips again...

Only to find no tall woman with the long black hair like silk, his drunken childhood friend sleeping at the bar, and a bartender with a curly eyebrow glaring at him.

"What did you do to Robin-chan?"


So this was supposed to be a one-shot, since I was reading a book where I liked the first scene with a similar concept, and then it went downhill quickly from there. But I feel like this would be a bit too cruel of an ending, no? So I think I'm going to keep going, and toss in a bit of Sanami for extra funsies. I've been playing with a lot of AU concepts lately, will have to flesh them out a bit later. The one thing I love in the One Piece universe is that I find them all so easy to imagine as friends, no matter who you lump together. The one thing is, I'm going to have to write some FroRobin soon, otherwise I'm going to get into a permanent ZoRobin bent! Please look forward to the next installment!