Hey there, hi there, ho there. (Again)

So, because of a conversation with MistyMountainHop about my first story here, I realized that my Jackie got the short straw. I rushed my ending, and now Jackie needs a bit of decisiveness herself.

Story is done, it's not as long as A Line in the Sand and yes, there's probablypossibly a third part but let's not make too many promises.
This story has some holes for anyone reading it without reading the first of the series, and even though it's possible to understand the basics, I still recommend you go read "A Line in the Sand" first. (No ulterior motives, of course!)

Have fun, and if you did, feel free to drop me a line


Everything was better with a face full of cleansing mud, that much Jackie knew for sure. Whatever life threw at you, you could just let it roll off your shoulder when you were attractive and had perfect skin.

That didn't mean that things were exactly easy, or good, but it was certainly better. Also, the mud perfectly hid the treacherous little signs that might show you were about to cry, or rip someone to shreds, or whatever else your emotions wanted you to do.

She was at the Kenosha Spa with Donna, who had surprisingly not wanted to come along without some blackmailing. How could she not want her skin cleaned and her hair done and lie in a relaxing bath with wonderfully scented water until your skin wrinkled and your muscles felt like wax? How could she not want to have her toenails done and her body-hair removed and her fingernails painted such beautiful colours? Like – come on, if anyone should enjoy it, it should be Donna! Then again, Jackie supposed, Donna hadn't ever really cared much about that.

And it irked her, but she would never say it out loud, that Donna did look pretty good with such little effort. She'd have men falling at her wayside if she actually cared! Jackie only wanted her to feel as amazing as she did herself!

Except, of course, she didn't feel amazing. Not … not not amazing, but also not really amazing. Things were nagging at her, keeping her mind from calming down even with the warmth around her body – and the tension in her shoulders was horrible. Don, her masseur, would have to work really hard for his money today, but as tense as she was, Jackie wouldn't really enjoy that very much. Pity – she loved getting a massage.

Especially the rare times Steven had given her one.

Oh, right.

Steven.

"Donna?"

"Hm?"

"Am I stupid?"

"Uh…" Donna turned and lifted the cucumber-patches that lay over her eyes, looking fully at Jackie. "In what sense?"

"In the sense of taking someone back who's cheated on me, not just once but twice, and even after taking Michael back twice after cheating and swearing never to fall for the same crap again. So – am I stupid?"

Donna sighed, put her cucumbers away – a waste, she should put them back on later because her lids so needed the moisture – and lay back into the water with her eyes turned to the ceiling. "This is a complicated question, Jackie."

"No. No, it's really not."

"Well, it is when you have to answer it." She sighed again and splashed a little water with her fingers. More like playing with it than doing it on purpose. "The thing is – you have pretty shit taste in men." Jackie gasped, but Donna talked right over her. Unbelievable! "Yes, that includes Hyde! And I'm saying that even though he's my friend. But he's… wow. He's really not easy to live with, I guess. I was … look, when you two got together, Eric and I weren't just joking about the unholy union of you two. You're both … let's say 'volatile', okay?"

Jackie so wasn't volatile! But she also wouldn't have said Steven was volatile, and he had sure proved her wrong last night. So she just made a noise of protest because maybe Steven was, but she sure wasn't!

"So – but then you two were actually good together, you know? You made him … you made him happy, and he made you happy. I wouldn't have thought that." Donna smiled and Jackie smiled as well, feeling a wave of pride rise in her. She'd made Steven happy! "But… you're both still you, you know? You'll react to everything in the Jackie-style and he'll react in Hyde-style, and both are so different it was bound to be messy. You're saying he cheated on you before he went to the Army? Again?"

Sighing, Jackie nodded. Donna didn't see it, but Jackie would not say it out loud! It was hard enough to say it once! "Why do all men I love cheat on me?" Dammit! Stupid mouth!

The noise Donna made was a bit similar to a whale, sorrowful and maybe slightly impatient. "I told you – your taste in men is shitty. I would love to tell you to just dump Hyde and find someone who fits you much better, because you don't deserve being cheated on all the time! You didn't deserve that from Kelso, and you sure as hell don't deserve it from Hyde!"

Donna was right! She didn't deserve this! Steven had cheated, even after saying he wouldn't do it again - promising, after that nurse! And not only that – he'd nearly married someone else, and… and that… that … It hurt, so much! It had hurt last night to hear that, and it hadn't stopped hurting until Steven had shocked her so much, she'd not been able to feel anything but slight terror.

"But," Donna continued "that advice is so much easier to give from the outside, isn't it?" She looked at Jackie, and Jackie tried to look back but it wasn't really possible. Instead she pretended to be fascinated by the jets that were creating warm currents in the bath. "Because if Eric had cheated, and really regretted it, and promised it wouldn't happen again – well, I wish I could say I'd kick him to the curb, but truth is… I might still take him back." Donna looked like she was ashamed. She looked like Jackie felt – ashamed for falling into the trap once more, for making the same mistake over and over.

"So you're saying I shouldn't take him back?" That … wow. The idea of just leaving, right now, of treating Steven how he'd treated her felt so godawful, Jackie wasn't sure she could even entertain the thought. But Donna was right – making the same mistake over and over had to stop at one point, and maybe that point was now.

"I don't know, Jackie. It has to be your decision, yours alone." And that was even worse! Jackie needed advice, not more uncertainty!

"You know, you're not really good at this advice-stuff, Donna."

"Oh, do you think that might be why I don't have an advice-column in the paper and instead work at a radio-station moderating rock-music?" The sarcasm was thick in her voice, and absently Jackie remembered how her mom used to say that sarcasm created wrinkles.

She sank deeper into the bath until her lips were just above the water. "But I need help, Donna! You're my friend, I don't know anyone else but maybe Fez who I could talk to. And Fez hides under beds and in closets to spy on girls, so who else am I gonna ask?" She did have friends – well, kinda, sorta – at the small network she was working. And her room-mate could be considered friend-like. They were pretty friendly at the channel, very familial, and it always made her feel welcome when she stepped into the dingy hallways and smelled the slightly musty smell of the old carpet. It had quite some ugly coffee-stains – she was hoping it was just coffee – and a few disgusting chewing-gums were worked into the fabric, and when she'd first gotten there with the offer of a job, of a small spot in the network's morning-show, she'd nearly stepped right out again. But she had needed money, and she wanted to be on television, and she'd plastered on a smiling face and started to wow the people around her.

Once she'd lessened up on the wowing, things had gotten nice.

Still, the friends she'd made there were still not really friends. They went out sometimes in the evening, they helped each other moving boxes – well, they helped her. Jackie preferred giving advice on where to put the couch and stuff like that – and had mostly fun with each other. But none of them knew her beyond Chicago, none of them knew her friends from home. None knew Donna and Fez and only Maria, Helena's secretary, knew Michael from when he'd picked her up for lunch with him and Brooke one day.

She didn't like Michael, so …

None of her Chicago-friends knew about Steven. Or well – they knew that there was a Steven, but they didn't know specifics. Hell - Jackie didn't know specifics! So whatever they would give her as advice, they'd never have the full facts. They didn't know their history, and how could you advise like that? No – Donna would have to, because Donna knew Jackie and she knew Steven. She'd be perfect for advice.

"Jackie… You're my friend, okay? But … Hyde is also my friend. And I can't really give you advice here, because if I say you should dump him and you do that because I say so, I would hurt him deliberately, and I won't do that." She frowned, and Jackie wished she would stop that, as some of the mud dropped from her forehead into the water. "And if I say 'no, keep him', and you do that, I might hurt you because you really shouldn't. Not just because of the cheating, but that's the biggest thing on his shit-list so far. So I can't give you more than: decide for yourself. Everything anyone else decides for you will be wrong. You have to ask yourself if you want to live with someone who cheated twice on you – or if you rather not have Hyde in your life anymore."

They didn't say anything else on that topic. Jackie didn't know what to say, what to ask – how to ask – and Donna seemed reluctant to continue. Instead, they babbled about meaningless things – and beauty-advice, because that was totally important! – and after a while, Jackie started to have fun again.

It didn't stop her from thinking, but she put the thoughts on hold for a while. It was, after all, a major decision she had to make, and she couldn't make it while wearing a pink bathrobe with red slippers! They didn't have matching ones anymore, something that sure would appear in the complaints-box, of that she was certain.