Prologue

BPOV

Pain.

I welcomed it as I curled into my pillow. I held it tightly against my chest trying my best to stifle the pain. My teeth sank into the pillow to muffle the sob that escaped my chest. It was hard to say where the pain was coming from. The burning sensation was shooting in different directions.

I didn't want Charlie to hear me. It was the last thing I wanted. I knew I was one step closer to being shipped to Jacksonville against my will and there was no way I was going to let that happen.

It was too far.

Too sunny.

Too hot.

It would make everything unreal.

Like he never existed.

I shook the thought away.

I was trying my best to hold on to everything that made all of them real.

That he was real.

Forks made him real.

And I would never leave.

Ever.

It was stupid to be holding on to someone who didn't want me but I couldn't help it. The moments I had with him were my happiest and I would hold on to it for as long as I could. He was the best thing that ever happened to me even though he thought otherwise.

I felt another shot of pain radiate from my chest to the rest of my torso. My eyes shut tightly and I bit my lower lip hard making the scream come out as a whimper.

I tasted blood as soon as I was aware of my body again. I stopped breathing before nausea hit me. I didn't want to walk across the hall to the bathroom just to wash away the blood.

Too risky.

Charlie would get suspicious. Even though he slept like a log throughout the night, he seemed to be aware of my movements. He wakes up easily when it comes to me. One scream, one wrong movement was a one way ticket out of here.

Again, too risky.

So, I did what I had been doing for the past few nights.

I sucked on it. I sucked the blood on my lips until I could no longer taste its coppery taste. My eyes squeezed tightly as I tried to fight the dizziness.

It was very unlike me but since I was desperate, it didn't matter.

I got rid of it without getting up from my bed.

Problem solved.

I listened to the rain as it drizzled outside. The tip-tapping of rain on my window usually lulled me to sleep. But now, it was my only indication that time was actually passing by. Each drop compared to a second. It wasn't accurate but I didn't dare look at the clock. It was just a reminder of another sleepless night.

Sleep was supposed to be my only haven. It was supposed to be my escape from the harsh reality that he was gone but that never happened. Ever since that night, I was plagued with nightmares. At first the nightmares were bearable but each night seemed to be worse than the other. The nightmares were always followed by screaming. Of course the screaming got too much at one point that Charlie decided to put his foot down and ordered me to see a shrink. Or worse, go to Renee in Jacksonville. I didn't let that happen of course. I made the nightmares stop from coming every night.

I didn't sleep.

I had to stay here.

I had to.

I can't leave.

And I did whatever I could to stay.

I let the pain cripple me every night.

It was the only way I could stay.


So what do you guys think? I know its a short one but there are a lot of clues in this chapter. First chapter will be posted in a few days. Watch out for A/Ns in my profile. Thanks again!