Malibu, California
May 2010
THE FIRST THING TONY FELT when he woke up that morning was was the warm weight of an arm draped over him. Memories of last night flooded his brain. The screaming, the yelling, the glass breaking, because if there was anyone who could throw a tantrum, it was Loki. The rest of the night poked holes in his conscience. He hadn't been able to help himself, and sure Loki was stubborn, but if there was anyone who could seduce the pants off of anything, it was Tony Stark.
The second thing he felt was a deep sense of crushing regret accompanied by an amused kind of detachment. Somehow he'd managed to screw everything up again in his relationship when said relationship was over. It had to be some kind of record. He'd get Jarvis to check.
The third thing he felt was the overwhelming, mind blowing, life-altering realization that he was a complete idiot, and he was going to go to hell for this. Also, at the back of his mind, a niggling tug of worry of what the hell Odinson was going to do to him when he found out, because Loki had never been terribly good at keeping secrets.
That was one of the reasons they had broken up in the first place. And Tony hated the guy, he did.
Yet, the arm wrapped around him, fingers grazing the skin of his stomach did things to his brain that all the medication in the entire world could not.
'Huh,' he said to himself, because what the hell else was there to say?
Hardly daring to move his torso, he cast a look over his shoulder. Long dark hair buried against a white pillow, lean muscle barely covered by a blanket, soft skin he ached to press his lips to again. Tony pressed his eyes shut and sighed.
God, he couldn't be here. Couldn't do this. No matter how hot his ex looked.
Besides, Pepper would murder him if she found out. When she found out: Jarvis was not great with secrets. He could always sue Thor if the guy got dumb enough to actually touch him. Once Tony managed to stop caring about what happened to Loki, because everyone needed a Pepper and depriving someone just as crazy as he was their own babysitter seemed like one of his worse ideas.
Right now, he was going to take a shower. Then he'd face Loki. Just, first. Hygiene.
'Jarvis,' he said quietly.
'Mr Stark,' Jarvis greeted.
'He really asleep?'
A moment of silence. Sometimes Loki was good enough an actor to fool even technology.
'Yes, sir,' Jarvis said.
'Give me a heads up when he wakes up, will ya?' Then, as an afterthought, he added, 'Tell Pepper I feel like McDonald's for breakfast. And don't her know Loki' s here.'
Tony could swear he sensed judgement in the AIs tone. 'You gave Miss Potts the override code.'
'Change it,' Tony said. 'Maybe something Metallica this time. Unforgiven.'
'Yes, sir.'
Careful not to rouse Loki by accident, Tony carefully pushed off the arm around him off. He already missed the warmth. The shower was nice and warm. Refreshing. At least his brain was on. In front of the bathroom mirror, he debated opening the orange pill bottles. Debated against it.
'Sir, you told me to remind you what happens in the instance you neglect to take your medicine,' Jarvis said.
'Shut up, J', Tony said. 'Also, don't tell Pepper.'
He took his sweet time dressing up, spent a half hour on his hair just to avoid going back in the bedroom. Loki was gone by the time he came back. Along with all the clothes that had been strewn across the floor. His mission was accomplished. With Loki gone, he could relax.
Hungry, he dragged himself to the kitchen.
Loki and Pepper were sitting at the breakfast table. His breath stumbled. Seriously, all he'd wanted was breakfast. Why did everything have to have consequences? Also, since when did they start chatting like old buddies? He backtracked, prayed to a God he didn't believe in that neither of them saw him.
'Tony,' Pepper said. 'Egg McMuffin.'
Well, didn't she just sound chipper.
'Hi, ' he said, smile in place, zero cracks whatsoever. He hoped.
Loki looked up at him, less than impressed. 'Unusually long time to take a shower, isn't it?'
Tony avoided lookin at him. 'What, you think it's easy to keep looking this good?'
He was replied by the most obnoxious of eye rolls.
Pepper's smile was so painfully tight, Tony hurt for her. 'Why doesn't everyone just sit down and avoid any lawsuits whatsoever?'
'Actually,' Tony took a step back. 'I may have left the water running.'
'Anthony Edward Stark, you sit your ass down right now.' Pepper's eyes were narrow slits. 'Jarvis, the water's turned off, right?'
'Yes, Miss Potts,' Jarvis replied.
'Jarvis,' Tony said, hand clutched over his heart, 'how could you?'
'She has the override code sir,' Jarvis explained.
'But I changed it,' Tony complained.
'I guessed your new one, you predictable asshole,' Pepper said. 'Really? Metallica? Are you kidding me?'
'They're awesome,' was all the argument he could think to offer with Loki sitting right there, looking like... Looking like...
'Tony,' Pepper said. Her eyes could cut like diamonds. 'Breakfast. Now. Or I will do terrible things to your sorry ass.'
'I'm getting a little turned on, right now,' Tony said. Both Loki's and Pepper's glares fixed on him.
'Okay. Great joke, bad timing. I get it.' Against his will, Tony dragged himself to the table, plopped down on the barstool and grabbed the MacDonalds paper bag. God, his breakfast smelled so good. At least, there was that. He froze at the absence of something.
'Pepper, what happened to my blueberry muffin?'
Pepper blinked at him. 'Tony, MacDonalds' was far away. I got hungry.'
'And you couldn't buy one for yourself?'
'That's five dollars I didn't have, Stark,' Pepper said.
'With how much I pay you to be my assistant,' Tony murmured sulkily.
'Not your assistant,' Pepper said, rising from the table. 'Also, Stark Industries pays me.'
'The offer still stands,' Tony said.
'I'm still here,' Loki reminded them. Cold eyes were intense when they caught Tony's gaze, and again, Tony marveled at that shade of green. Looked away again because he wasn't a complete masochist.
'Unfortunately,' Tony muttered. To Pepper, he asked, 'And he's here, why?'
Suddenly, Pepper's unaffected air collapsed around her in a whoosh. For a second, she looked worried, human. Just for a second though. 'Loki is... Suing you.'
'Huh.' Mind struggling to process what was happening, Tony bit into his breakfast. He closed his eyes because yes, God, that tasted better than sex felt.
'Hmm,' Pepper said on the way to the cooker with ingredients. 'Anyone want some eggs and toast? Loki?'
'Actually,' Loki began. 'Yes.'
Tony peeked an eye open. 'He likes his eggs really runny. Barely even fried.'
Loki turned a paralyzing, not-quite-glare on Tony. A dark hickey peeked out from the collar of his dark, green shirt. Pale neck. The memory of the flutter of that pulse point against Tony's lips. The way he looked, intense look of pleased concentration he got when Tony was writhing under him. All burned in Tony's memory.
'You know nothing about me, Stark,' Loki said, gaze dropping.
'How do you want your eggs then?' Pepper asked, banging a pan over the stove.
'I-' Loki regarded Tony like a tired soldier. 'Like he said.'
Pepper mouthed a silent 'Ah' and went back to making as much noise as she possibly could with the pans, probably a guise to fool them into thinking she wasn't eavesdropping on their conversation when she could hear every word. Tony kind of loved her.
'So, pressing charges,' Tony remarked, careful not to look at the man sitting across from him.
'I was bored,' Loki said. 'Father is busy in Asgard, Thor is pretending to be Prince Philanthropy somewhere in Asia, and I have no current schemes to take the crown for myself. And, you've left your house exactly once in a year, so I thought, why not?'
'Ha,' Tony said, ignoring the obvious dig. 'What exactly am I being sued for?'
'I haven't yet thought about it,' Loki said, sweeping hair out of his eyes. It was one of those rare moments when he didn't look every bit the prince he was. Rumpled shirt, wrinkled slacks, messy hair. Tony liked him like this.
Tony cleared his throat and tried to focus. 'So, last night.'
'Fight with Thor,' Loki said, not missing a beat. 'Needed to let off some steam. I still haven't changed my mind.'
Tony didn't want him to. He didn't.
'You owe me a vase,' he pointed out. 'It was a limited edition, the one you broke last night.'
'I hate you,' Loki said simply.
Sighing, Tony took a hand to his hair. 'Yes, and the speed of light is constant, and the sky is up-
'What happened last night, that's the last time.'
Something he had said countless times, but this time, Tony looked up at him. Last night, his brain had been too caught up in the Top No. 1 Secret that Pepper and Rhodey could never, ever know, and Loki just bursting into the mansion, calling down curses on Thor and Tony and His Royal Majesty, the king of Asgard. And then Tony was being kissed senseless, held like he was being torn apart and held together, and just overall, Loki.
He hadn't noticed the half moons under his ex-lover's eyes, the resignation that had replaced arrogant cunning in the set of his shoulders. Loki looked like he was giving up.
'Don't give me that look, Stark,' Loki said. 'I'm being called back to Asgard. Permanently. Frigga thinks someone should be watching me at all times lest I spark off another international incident.'
Tony knew all about incidents. His chest contracted painfully. 'So, you wanna borrow a jet? Is that why you're still here?' '
'Can you be serious about something for once, Tony?' Not Stark, but Tony. Something was wrong. Loki had to be drunk and completely blissed out before he'd ever consider calling Tony by his first name.
' I'm serious about coffee. And Burger King.' Tony waggled his eyebrows. 'And that thing you do with your tongue that-'
'You're a complete and utter-' Loki started, but was interrupted by Pepper banging a plate down in front of him.
'Careful,' Tony said. 'That's limited edition.'
'Coming from the man who can't buy his own furniture,' Pepper shot back.
'But then I would have to leave the house, and that would start the series of events that ends the world,' Tony said.
Loki gave a tight smile. 'Remember that one time you did leave the house though.'
'La la la la la la la,' Tony sang. Stuffed his fingers in his ears. 'Not listening to this.'
Under the table, he could see Loki clenching his fists until his knuckles were white. A small jump of satisfaction pulsed through Tony.
'But who am I to dwell on the past?' Loki said, smoothing over the tension in the room with a super-princely smile. Sometimes, Tony wondered why exactly Thor was crown prince anyway. Loki was clearly the better actor.
'I mean, yeah, you've never been one to hold a grudge or anything.' Tony grabbed the coffee pot to pour himself a cup.
'Not at all,' Loki said. 'Speaking of medications-'
'We were not talking about medication, like, at all.'
Loki talked right over him. 'Speaking of medication, I'm shocked there hasn't been some unfortunate mishap with yours.'
In his veins, blood turned to ice. 'Unfortunate, that.'
A prickle of hairs rising on the back of his neck signaled how closely Pepper was watching him.
'How admirable of you.' Loki steepled his fingers. 'If I were slowly going mad, I'd just be done with everything.'
Pepper came to stand behind Tony, and he could feel the deadly calm flowing out of her. Even though he couldn't see her, Tony could just imagine the heat of her gaze. 'Prince Loki, I took the liberty of calling your driver. He's waiting outside.'
In other words, leave.
Loki ignored her, looking to draw blood. 'What, no smart-ass comeback?'
'I've not had any coffee yet,' Tony said, raising an empty mug. 'And neither have you. Want some?'
Loki glared at the mug, looking at him with dead eyes. There was something in them, something Tony saw in the mirror everyday. That desire to hurt the people you cared about, to punish yourself with that misery. Tony could get that. One of the reasons Tony had even given Loki a second glance anyway was that the man was just as fucked in the end as he was. Perhaps even more.
The quickest way to get Loki to leave was to let him have whatever he wanted.
'Nothing', Loki's voice dripped with dark.
'What do you want from me, Loki?' Tony gripped the mug much too tight, still squeezing. Maybe he should have taken his meds.
'Maybe to finish what you started,' Loki said.
Pepper snapped into guard dog mode. Tony just pushed down the aching emptiness in the pit of his stomach and tossed Loki the signature Tony Stark grin. 'I'd take your advice, except my one-woman security detail won't let me stick my head in an oven.'.
The smug smile on Loki's face faltered. His mouth opened like he wanted to say something.
Pepper was not having any of it. Suddenly she was in front of Tony like a shield, protecting him from everything. Her hands dropped to her hips.' Loki, ' the steel in her voice actually made Loki flinch. 'Leave.'
Loki just stared at her, then Tony, expression unreadable. It hit, Tony then, that if Loki was telling the truth, Tony would probably never see him again. That was a thought.
'Very well,' Loki was standing to his feet. 'I'll be on my way.'
Tony got up too. 'Wait.' He came around the table to hand Loki the mug he'd unwittingly filled with coffee, just the way Loki liked it. 'For the road.'
Loki's eyes never left his. Steady and green.
'Farewell, Anthony Stark.' He gave Pepper the most fleeting of glances. 'Miss Potts, as you were.'
Tony certainly did not feel anything, watching Loki walk out the door. Again. For the millionth time. 'Hey,' he said again, unsure of the next sentence to come out of his mouth. Loki, against all odds, did look back. 'Wish Point Break Happy Hannukah for me, will you?'
Inscrutable face set in stone, Loki turned and left.
The kitchen was in complete and total silence. Tony could feel Pepper's gaze boring into him, expectant. 'Tony.'
'I'm gonna need more coffee in about an hour, so-'
He stopped when Pepper started wringing her hands.
'Tony.'
'Thought I had a head shrinking session at two.' He rolled his eyes. 'Must we talk about our feelings now?'
'Something else, actually,' Pepper was biting her lip.
A familiar feeling of his nerves lighting on fire made his head swim. He closed his eyes. Fight it, Tony, fight it. Almost stumbling, he gripped the kitchen stool for balance, snapped when Pepper reached out to help him.
'Don't.' Tony pretended not to notice the hurt that flashed across her features. With much effort, he managed to straighten himself. 'Okay, Pep. Come at me. I can take it. What is it?'
Pepper bit her lip again.
