Prologue / Chapter 0
When playing in class, be sure not to get caught
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Classroom door opened with an unpleasant screech of rusty hinges. Muffled apology to the teacher and commotion while taking a seat. A cough on the left, clicking of a pen cap on the right. A giggle and then a sound of nose blowing only two beats after a loud sneeze. More pen clicking.
A hand is in the air, and a question stops the teacher's monologue.
…Now that's not the face you see often at early morning classes.
Who? That girl over there, in the back row. Oh, don't let it fool you, that wide-eyed, I-really-wanna-know look on her face. Or that twinkle in her eye. That one's bored out of her mind. I assure you, she's only measuring how long she could go without blinking. You don't believe me? Tsk, just look at her.
No, don't roll your eyes playing smartass with me. Just look at her, closely. …You see now? She's not blinking. To be exact, she hadn't blinked for 43 seconds now. She's really proud of that, and is aiming to blow her own personal record of one minute and 14 seconds.
That's S, and she's a student here. I know her, and I know she won't succeed. After all, if she had slept the night before, she might've had a cha- Ah, there it is. Oh, nicely done, hiding the tears with a fake yawn.
I'll bet ya, Reader-san, in ten cookies that she'll now turn around to see if anyone noticed her antics.
Aaaaaaaaaaand… You lost.
We'll discuss the terms of payment on a later date, if you don't mind. My sweets stash is filled to the brim right now, and I know that soon enough I'll get that sweet tooth's mating call… And something else will be filled to the brim, the-he.
No, wait, let me rephrase that.
The only thing getting filled are my pan-
No, that sounds wrong too.
All of the filling will go straight to my-
I GIVE UP, ALRIGHT?! I'M GETTING FAT! THERE, NO METAPHORS! *pant* *pant*
…I apologize. I lost my temper there, and I promise it won't happen again… *cough* Anytime soon, that is. Moving on to the matter at hand since I kinda got lost there for a bit.
It looks as S's trying to beat her record again so we'll leave her be. Look now two seats to her left, at the flaming redhead with a lipstick on. Look at how diligent she is, writing down stuff furiously in her notebook… And to answer your question – I know you'd ask this – but, no, she's not killing off criminals worldwide by writing their names down.
Nah, that's just A - your everyday, girl-next-door, loud, rabid fan girl. And as any everyday, girl-next-door, loud, rabid fan girl, she's writing steamy boy-on-boy smut in the middle of class.
Oi, enough with the eye-rolling. I'm serious here, and telling the truth, cross my heart and hope to die! I AM! Look, we could waste another paragraph or two with me rumbling about truthfulness of my words, or you could believe me – or pretend to do so – and we continue without further ado.
Besides, it's not like you have any other choice, Reader-san. Yeah, you could always press that button on the top of the screen and say "what a waste of my time (exclamation mark)". I can't stop you from doing that, nor will I be hurt or sad if you leave. As the matter of fact, that little, sadistic voice in my head will cackle in glee because you lost two or three minutes of your precious life reading this foolishness. For all you know, I could be Devil himself, enjoying this new way of torturing mortals by the means of world wide web. Maybe after this, I'll even go whip some minions, or plan out the schedule for my filler-lover fun club that I plan to establish as soon Tit- *beep* -ubo and Masa- *beep* -oto die and join me in the fiery pits.
Or I could be idiotic, tsundere narrator who tries to shoo away all of the impatient readers, so I could find that one, perfect Reader-san that will always choose me over offered bath and food.
*blush*
…
Damn, I still wasted two paragraphs justifying myself. Tsk.
So… did you decide? Are you still there?
Whatever. It's not like you can answer me, anyway. I'll continue to rumble to myself then, whether or not you're there.
So, the redhead fan girl I showed to you earlier is A. That dry-eyed record-breaking idiot two seats on her right is S. Okay, now look at the girl that sits in between those two.
That's G. Now, we've already been through this. Don't – I repeat – DON'T let the looks fool you.
"The silent one's are the scariest." You heard that one before right? 'Cause she might sit hunched, with her head supported by her left hand; her eyes might be half-opened and she might be shaking like a leaf due to the jigging of her crossed legs under the desk; she might be dissatisfied with the quality of city water that made her hair greasy in matter of hours after washing and, yes, she might be reading A's smutty boy-on-boy action since ten minutes after class started-
But, out of those three, G was the only one actually knowing what the teacher was talking about. Truth be told, all of them should know since they've failed this class last semester and they've been re-taking it now, in their second year of university.
Was I the only one that heard, just now, that high note of the triangle being hit by a metal beater as if their situation was some kind of a classical joke? Those poor dearies, hehehehe~
*cough*
Sorry. I've spent so long watching those three and it's surprising, even to me, how I can still laugh at their misfortune. I'll admit, I'm fascinated by them.
They're so different from one another on the outside, sharing not even one similarity in their appearance, all raised in different environments, with different social standards and views of the world.
S enjoyed casual clothes, that made her feel comfortable and ready for anything, except running. Too lazy for that. Self-proclaimed chubby chibi that dreamed of becoming a pirate in her afterlife, capturing and sinking ships on river Styx. When tired, or high in sugar, she said whatever to whomever she was speaking to, no matter if it was a 5-year-old or a teacher.
G was sports-y. A scrawny tall-ish girl with really, really long hair often tied in a ponytail. Outside of her home, she couldn't be caught without her super-heavy laptop bag, or an article of clothing that wasn't green. That was her favorite color too. Thanks to karma – or really awesome mixture of genes – she couldn't get fat no matter how much food she sucked in; due to it, more than once was she compared to Son G- *beep*.
A was smexy, temperamental and headstrong. Dying her hair red was a really good choice since it suited her personality like a glove. She appeared as loud, confident and addicted to nicotine. She never missed a chance to make double-meaning – and usually perverse – sentences, or laugh if someone beat her to it. A was madly in love with her boyfriend from her hometown, but even he held a second place in her heart since #1 was taken by a certain 2D black-haired avenger with crimson eyes.
Now, all of this talking about those three girls would make no sense if there wasn't a catch. Something different, out of the field defined as "normal" or "ordinary"- Okay, as they are now, none of them could fit into either of those groups. I mean, they're so nuts that if by chance they could materialize them – the nuts – they could co-sign with Nutella and make a fortune. In simple terms - they're crazy. Lunatic. Completely bananas.
And deep down, I'm sure, they wished they were the other kind of unordinary. You know, like alien, or immortal, or able to transform in scarce clothes with the background filled with sparkles, flowers and catchy sequence music. *awkward silence* Oh, I know any striper could do that, but I meant in a more innocent, mahou shojo, way. Err… So, yeah, yeah. Like a striper that has magical powers and works in a club with a no-touching policy.
*poker face*
Yes, I did that. I just made fun of the whole genre-turned-fetish. Sue me.
Back to that catch… I'm going to make it. I, the gutsy narrator, shall make the catch that will throw those three nutcrackers in deeper hell then Tchaikovsky ever imagined for poor Clara or her wooden prince. I had a plan since the beginning, so don't worry.
My trap is already set, I just need to select the one who'll activate it. Hmmm… Let's see. A is useless; she's completely sucked in that BL thingy so whispering suggestions to her dormant mind is out of the question. G could be the best option in any other situation but this. I'd be damned if I went into her mind right now, and get caught in a rather strange threesome with Gri- *beep* and Ich- *beep*. If I wasn't on this important mission I wouldn't even blink before jumping in at the- 'Kay, I'll just stop right there.
So, it seems I don't really have a choice at this if I want to play my cards right now. Looking over S's thoughts in this very moment, I am certain my plan will work out perfectly. Her mind is open like a meadow, with a couple of cows munching on green, green grass. Manipulating her into stringing the trap into action would be as easy as taking candy from a baby, then returning the said candy just to stop the brat from damaging my eardrums.
Reader-san, I must be on my way now. Wish me luck and may we meet again, and soon~
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Coughing freshman in the second row fidgeted in his seat. Girl sitting next to the window in the first row whispered something to her friend, and a few muffled giggles erupted from their direction. Sound of various and numerous pens rolling over the paper. Whisper of turning pages and a harsh ripping sound of a page torn. Teacher's voice got drowned in the those noises, beside the fact it was much stronger than any of them, or all of them combined.
Chubby girl in the back row was writing vigorously for a couple of seconds before passing the paper to her left.
i'm booooooored~
hey, G, A, wanna play a game with me?
