I hope you're proud of what you've done Harry Potter.

Because you've singlehandedly ruined three lives.

Its bad enough they've got your famous last name and their mother's fucking huge hypocritical family watching them like hawks, but you had to give them the names that would continually harass and follow them for the rest of their lives!

Let's start with your oldest: Jay.

Sorry, I mean James Sirius.

Didn't you realise that one day he'd be crushed? He was born two months early and needed nutrient potions for the first five years of his life. Your shy little artistic boy wouldn't last five minutes in Gryffindor.

But that's where he was Sorted, because god help the Potter-Weasley that wasn't in the House of Lions. Where everyone wanted him to carry on the legacy of his namesakes.

You didn't notice how he retreated into room when his OWL results came (so you wouldn't see his crappy Transfiguration grade [A]).

You don't know that his first kiss was the Slytherin Taylor Nott (y'know, Nott and the elder Greengrass' insane daughter) and he's still seeing her when he says he's just going out.

You don't know that he loves Potions, is SCARED of heights and that he has (self inflicted) scars covering his body.

You only notice he's not there when he's nineteen and has run away with Taylor to New York.

And next there's Al,

y'know, Albus Severus, your son.

But you don't see him as that, do you? Not anymore.

Apparently, according to Rita Skeeter, he had such a bright future ahead of him: named after the Leader of the Light (more like Greater Good) and the future Leader of all that was Good[Hypocritical] and Just[UNFAIR].

But then he goes and gets himself Sorted into Slytherin, and suddenly everyone changes their opinions. Because his middle name's Severus and he's the one who killed Albus Dumbledore (remember, you said that yourself).

You grounded him when he was caught by the Prophet snogging Rayna Thomas (Slytherin whore [klutz]) that one time, not listening when he said that it was only a dare and not realising that the paps are really, really good a photo-shopping stuff...

And then when he got his cousin (cue shocked gasps from his audience) Lucy pregnant in their fifth year, and she kept it cause they were 'in love', you threatened to disown his (cause it didn't matter that they were 'in love', she was his cousin and it was immoral... so maybe you're a bit of a hypocrite too) and he threatened you right back, threatened that he'd tell Ginny that he'd caught you shagging Lavender Finnegan in your office.

So now you're stood in front of his grave (and this sweet innocentchild was only twenty three when he overdosed) wondering where it all went wrong.

Now for your precious little girl

Lily Luna

You were so thrilled when you [Ginny] had a girl. You'd do anything for her, correct?

But I think you took anything to a new level mate...

She never had to lift a finger did she; she never had to earn anything, right? But

maybe you shouldn't have done that...

She was sorted into Hufflepuff, and became the joke of the House never mind school.

And she threw such a hissy fit about it, didn't she? Shrieked (my ears are still ringing from it five years later) that the Hat was barmy and full on demanded to be re-Sorted...but it didn't work. So spending the next seven years pretending that she was above everyone else, she kinda became the next Zach Smith really.

I think it's funny you don't know that she only got her 'good grades' from a Ravenclaw/shagging her Charms teacher.

And don't even get me started on all the crap she received from Flitwick/Sprout/McGonagall, who all keep asking why can't she be more like her grandmother?

(but Lily Evans is dead, remember?)

So don't come crying to me when you have another dead child...

Well there you go Chosen One

Three ruined lives

Are you still proud?

Cause after all...

What's in a name?