Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story.

Setting: The trio's sixth year

A/N: Hope you like this! Please read and review!

Chapter 1: Lost Forever

I have no reason to live thought Ron Weasley as he sat inside his room and stared out the window. The sky was dark and the rain was pouring hard. The scene outside depicts a dark and gloomy picture, which was exactly like Ron's mood. He's been like this for four days, ever since he got Hermione's letter, and he hasn't stopped sulking in his room even though Hermione arrived at the Burrow two days after he received her owl.

The source of Ron's sulkiness for the past couple of days was Hermione's "great" news. The Bulgarian Seeker, Viktor Krum had asked Hermione to be his girlfriend. She agreed, of course, but not after thinking hard about it for three whole days.

Ever since she became Krum's girlfriend, Hermione was always glowing with happiness. The day she said yes, Hermione immediately sent an owl to her two best friends, Ron and Harry. She expected her friends to be happy for her.

And they were happy. Well, Harry at least. Ron, on the other hand, when he received Hermione's owl, he was overwhelmed with such enormous grief that he realized he doesn't have a reason to live anymore. The love of his life was already someone else's and there was nothing he could do about it. Since then, he's been up in his room, sulking about it that he made his mother so worried she went to talk to him. Ron assured her that he was okay and he was just sad that the summer holiday was almost over. Mrs. Weasley didn't seem very convinced about it that Ron reasoned (or lied) further that he enjoyed this summer so much he can't believe it was over. Considering that his summer was composed of laying around in the Burrow all day, Mrs. Weasley was still suspicious but then decided that whatever problem Ron was having, he has decided to solve it on his own. And she was okay with that since she still has a ghoul to take care of in the attic.

When Hermione arrived at the Burrow, Ron was there to welcome her. He was grinning ear to ear when she saw him so she figured that Ron was happy for her. But what she didn't notice was when she turned her back, Ron's grin instantly disappeared was replaced, again, by that same sad face he's been wearing for two days. Nobody else noticed this…except for Ron's younger sister, Ginny.

Ron sighed. There is absolutely nothing in this world worth living for anymore, he thought. Then he heard loud giggles erupt from the other side of his bedroom wall. Hermione and Ginny. She must be telling Ginny every intimate detail on how Krum asked her out, he thought; the feeling gets painful than ever.

Gone are the days when he used to think of Hermione and him together, just to lift his spirits up a little. Gone are the days when he used to think of ways on how to reveal his feelings to Hermione. Because then, his visions of her will never be the same as long as she has a boyfriend; as long as she has someone else in her life; as long as he knows that someone, other than him, has captured her heart.

Harry arrived at the Burrow through Floo Powder. He was surprised that his Uncle Vernon still let him use the fireplace after what happened during the summer before his fourth year.

The moment he arrived, he was still feeling a little dizzy when Mrs. Weasley gave him another spine-breaking bear hug.

"Oh, Harry, I'm so glad you're here," gushed Mrs. Weasley. "Now I don't have to worry about you all the time."

Harry smiled shyly at her. "Er…yeah." He didn't know what else to say. But he was touched, yet a little uneasy, that Mrs. Weasley was worrying about him.

"Harry!" a couple of voices chorused. Harry turned to see Fred and George handing him a couple of Chocolate Frogs.

"What are these for?" Harry asked, smiling as he took the Frogs.

"To welcome you, of course," said Fred.

"And to thank you," George added with a whisper so that his mother won't hear.

"The joke shop's been a great success," muttered Fred.

"All thanks to you, mate," George said appreciatively, putting his arm around Harry's shoulders.

"It was nothing," Harry said.

"HARRY!" someone shrieked.

It was Hermione. She and Ginny just went down the stairs from Ginny's room to see if Harry had arrived.

Hermione gave Harry the same bear hug that Mrs. Weasley gave him. Ouch, that hurt, thought Harry, feeling his back as Hermione released him.

"Oh, I'm SO glad you're here! I have so much to tell you about Viktor!" she exclaimed. "Er…you did get my owl, didn't you?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I did," he replied, still feeling his aching back.

"Hi Harry," greeted Ginny, smiling at him.

"Hey, Ginny," Harry slowly replied with a terrified smile. He gave her an uneasy look as if he was afraid she might give him the same hug he got from Hermione and Mrs. Weasley. He wished she wouldn't. His back hurts too much already.

Ginny chuckled amusingly. "I have no intention of hugging you, if that's what you're thinking."

Harry smiled gratefully. Then he realized that there was one more person he hasn't seen yet.

"C'mon, let's go to Ginny's room," Hermione interrupted his thoughts. "I'm going to narrate every little detail." And before Harry could wonder where Ron could be, Hermione grabbed his wrist and started to pull him up the stairs to Ginny's room.

Ron has been staring out the window for hours. It was already nighttime when someone knocked on his door. He opened it to see his best friend. Ron had never felt so happy to see Harry.

"Harry! When did you get here?"

"About three hours ago," replied Harry, looking at his watch and walking into the room.

"Three hours ago?" Ron asked, incredulous. "Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Your Mum said she didn't even bother because you're locking up in this room and being surly for the past couple of days and she doesn't know why," Harry replied with concern. "She says you didn't want to tell her so she felt that it wasn't her business and that if you didn't want to tell her, she wouldn't force you to."

"She said that?" Ron uneasily replied.

"She did, mate. She was worried about you. Now I'm worried and you'd better tell me now because I'm going to know anyway." Harry's expression was full of anxiety.

He's right. I'd better tell him. He's going to find out anyway, Ron thought in despair. But then again, he might think it stupid of me not saying anything about my feelings for Hermione. Harry might think he would've done something to make her notice me. But I guess it's too late for that now.

"Right. Well, I'm going to tell you what it is, but I don't think now is the right time to say it. So, let's talk about something else, shall we?" said Ron, trying to change the subject.

Harry sighed and shook his head. He knew where this was leading. "Look, I don't want to talk about Sirius, all right? And I certainly don't want to talk about Viktor Krum."

"Why not?" Ron asked, confused.

"It's been hard to take, Sirius' death," Harry said exasperatedly, "I've been trying hard not to think about it anymore because it's…it's…" he trailed off, not wanting to continue. Because it's too painful, he finished in his mind.

"Er…Harry?" Ron said timidly. "I wasn't asking about Sirius, I was asking about Krum."

Harry blinked. "Oh. Erm…I don't want to talk about him either."

"Why?"

"Well—because I'm sick of hearing his name! It's always Viktor this and Viktor that! She never talks about anything else!"

Ron knew well enough who that "she" was. "Hermione? Yeah, well she's been gabbing about Krum ever since she got here. I can't stand it."

"Me too," agreed Harry, chuckling in amusement.

"It's like every second she's saying Krum's name! It's so…"

"Annoying?"

"E—exactly," Ron hesitated. I was thinking more on the lines of painful, but it'll do, he thought. "It's like she never considers the feelings of other people whenever she talks about—about how she and Krum got together."

Harry was just about to ask Ron what he meant about the "feelings of other people, when Mrs. Weasley's voice called the boys to dinner.

"Come ON, Ron! Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" Harry pressed. The family and guests just finished eating dinner and Harry's been pressuring Ron ever since they started eating.

Ron, of course, can't tell Harry now. Hermione was right there, practically beside Ron. She'd be able to hear it if he told Harry now. "I told you, I'm going to tell you later," Ron said. He's been saying this a million times already and he didn't know why Harry keeps on asking him.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "Tell him now, or he'll keep pestering you for days!"

"Hermione's right, Ron," Ginny piped up. She, Fred, and George were playing Exploding Snap on the dining table.

"No, she's not," corrected Fred. "Ron'll never say it. We've been trying to get it out of him for weeks and he still hasn't cracked."

"Yeah," George agreed, "he'll never tell. So I suggest you shut up for a while, Harry. Maybe he'll tell you what his problem is when you're a hundred and nine."

Harry sighed. They just don't get it, he thought. Ron's had a lot problems already and not once had he locked up in his room or in their dormitory in Hogwarts. This must be serious.

Ron can't sleep tonight. He's been tossing and turning in his bed for hours. His conscience has been bothering him. Half of him wanted to tell Harry what's going on, and the other half doesn't. It's so late at night that tomorrow he would have eye bugs. This is just great, he thought, On top of all my dilemmas, I have to put up with dark circles under my eyes!

I just have to tell Harry so I could sleep now and be at peace, he decided. He tried to think of some way to tell him.

"Harry," Ron started, "were you in love with Cho?"

Harry turned sideways on his sleeping bag so he could face Ron. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, were you completely crazy about her that you thought of her all the time that she's never gone from your mind; that you get jealous when you see her with another guy; that you get butterflies whenever you're alone with her?" Ron elaborated.

"I—I guess," was Harry's reluctant reply.

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

"N—no reason," replied Ron, hastily.

There was a moment of silence as Harry figured out why Ron asked him that.

"Hang on…" Harry started, finally realizing what Ron's question meant. "Is that what your problem is all along?"

"What?" Ron asked, confused.

"Love."

"What? Love?" Ron pretended not to understand. "I—I don't know what you're talking about." He sat up from his bed.

Harry sat up too. "Ron," he said as he gave his friend the you-know-what-I'm-talking-about-so-stop-kidding-around look.

Ron got the message. He sighed in surrender as he sat on the side edge of his bed. "All right, you got me. I knew you'd find out."

"I told you I would," replied Harry in a joking manner. "So this is about Krum, right?"

Harry completely meant this as a joke, but Ron seemed to think he meant it seriously. "H—h—how did you know that?" he asked, fearing that Harry might have gotten that idea from someone else, maybe Hermione!

But Harry just blinked and stared blankly at him. "I meant that as a joke, but I guess he seems to be your problem."

Ron kept silent.

And as for Harry, everything just clicked into place. "Hang on…does this have something to do with Hermione?" he asked, wide-eyed. Ron was still quiet and not looking at Harry. "Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asked in this pained voice.

"I just—I mean—I—I don't know," he stammered. "But it's not like I don't trust you, or anything like that."

"Why didn't you tell me that you love Hermione?"

Ron's eyes widened in horror and he immediately put his hand over his friend's mouth. "Sshh!!!" He looked around, hoping Harry's voice wasn't loud enough to hear from the other rooms. "Don't say it out loud!"

"Why not?"

"Because she might hear us."

"Hermione? Why? Why don't you want to tell her?"

"Because if she finds out, she might feel sorry for me and break up with Krum when she really doesn't want to. Or, she might just laugh at my face and tell me that she wouldn't be caught dead dating me."

Harry stared at him. "Hermione's not like that."

Ron sighed. "I know. But—it's just—I just want her to be happy and not worry about me, that's all."

Harry gave up. It's Ron's business anyway. If he doesn't want to tell Hermione how he feels, then Harry won't force him to. "Whatever you say, Ron."

Five days later, the four of them, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, were all packed and ready to go. The Hogwarts Express was about to leave in forty-five minutes. Fortunately, they were going to use the Ministry cars to get to King's Cross Station.

Cornelius Fudge was nice enough to lend them the cars as a protection for Harry (the cars had certain Ministry guards in them; Harry suspected they were there on Dumbledore's request) and an apology, at the same time, for the Weasleys.

When Fudge found out who were originally involved in the second Order of the Phoenix, he started giving these people some favors in order to thank them. Mr. Weasley, for instance, was offered a promotion, but he turned it down because he said that he loved his present job and that he was content with it. So Fudge, still to make it up to him, started offering little favors instead of big ones. Lending the Ministry cars was an example.

Harry grunted as he heaved his trunk outside Ron's room. Ron had already brought down his own trunk (Harry didn't know how), and Harry was wondering how on earth was he going to carry his trunk all the way down the stairs, when Fred and George appeared by his side.

"Don't worry, Harry," said Fred.

"We'll take care of this," said George.

"Locomotor Trunk!" they chorused. Harry followed them down the stairs and out the house where the Ministry guys were stashing the trunks in the backs of the two cars.

Harry and Ron seated themselves in the car. They were inside it for ten more minutes when Hermione came out of the house. She looked a bit harassed with her hair sticking out in all places, and with the dark circles under her eyes. Ginny, who was right behind her when they stepped out of the house, looked a bit like Hermione too, except that her ginger-red hair was combed and it fell neatly over her shoulders.

The Ministry official was carrying Hermione's trunk (which was the only one left to stash) to the car, when Hermione and Ginny seated themselves inside it. Harry and Ginny occupied the "window seats", leaving Ron sitting beside Hermione. He was nervous though he didn't show it, but Harry could tell because he could hear Ron breathing slowly, in and out of his nose and mouth. Only, Hermione didn't notice this because she was in some kind of daze. She was staring right ahead, a dreamy look plastered on her face. Ginny, on the other hand, was fast asleep against the window.

Finally, Mr. Weasley and the Ministry official seated themselves inside the car, and drove off. Mrs. Weasley and the twins were on the other car.

Ron paced forward, trying to look for an empty compartment. He had split up with Harry and Hermione so that they could quickly find a vacant chamber. Harry tried to get Ron to go with Hermione, but Ron flat out refused him. Besides, he doesn't want to get all shaky and sweaty again.

The train was about to move in three minutes so Ron has to hurry if he doesn't want to get thrown at the very end of the train when it starts to set off to Hogwarts.

Ron peeked into a compartment. Neville Longbottom was there with Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan, Ron's fellow sixth-year Gryffindors. In the next compartment were Hannah Abbot, Ernie McMillian, Justin Finch-Fletchley, and a couple more Hufflepuffs.

Ron dared not go into the next compartment, for it contained Luna Lovegood. He didn't want to be in the same room with Luna Lovegood, ever. It gives him the creeps whenever she gazes intently into his eyes. It's as if she's trying to read his mind and dwell on his deepest, darkest secrets. Also, Luna was with Colin Creevey. Ron knew that Harry might get annoyed with him if he said they were to stay in a compartment with Colin Creevey in it. Ginny was also in there, trying to start and conversation between Luna and Colin, though she seems to be unsuccessful.

Ron slipped past the compartment and found that the one next to it was empty. Thinking that it's better to have a compartment next to Luna Lovegood's than having her in your compartment, Ron entered it and sat. He tried to rest up his legs a little before calling Harry and Hermione to say he found them a place to sit.

He pondered for a while, while he was sitting. He just realized that he and Hermione had to go to the prefects' chamber for a while before joining Harry.

The thought of spending the rest of his day with Hermione frightened Ron. For once, he wanted to feel as if he had no problems in his life, at all. For once, Ron wanted to feel no pain, because it pains him to see Hermione so happy...so...content. It pains him to see Hermione put on that dreamy look of hers, knowing that it was not him that she's thinking about, but Krum. It pains him to know that Hermione will never consider him as more than a friend. And it pains him to realize that he has no chance, at all, of telling Hermione how he really feels about her, for that will change everything. From their usual moments of talking to each other to the way they would behave around one another. Ron didn't like awkward moments, especially with Hermione.

Ron wants things to change; yet he doesn't want to. He wants Hermione to be his, and that it wouldn't change the way they act towards each other. But he knew this is impossible.

It was useless, dwelling on impossible events that aren't going to happen. Maybe that's what my life is now, Ron wondered drearily, all useless. I feel so useless. My life doesn't have a purpose anymore. Maybe I'm not supposed to be living right now.

The Hogwarts Express gave out a loud whistle, and the floor of the train began to shake.

Ever since Hermione was with Krum, I lost all my purpose of living.

The scene outside is slowly beginning to pass.

Well, if I don't have a reason to live anymore, why am I still here? Why do I still live if my only destiny is being a worthless wimp who's watching Hermione and Krum get on with their happy lives? Ron poked his head out the window. His compartment was the third one from the very end of the train. The moment the train's already picked up speed is the moment Ron sees the scenery change from a train station to green pastures.

I might as well look as if my death's going to be one big accident.

Ron still hadn't put his head back into the compartment. He pretended to wave goodbye to his parents and brothers, who just turned their backs on the train. "Bye!" Ron called to no one in particular. "See you next summer! Bye! G'bye!"

The train was beginning to pick up speed. Ron could feel the wind ruffling his hair onto his face. "Bye!" he waved at the station guard. The wizard looked confused but waved back as well.

Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, Mum and Dad. Goodbye, Hermione. You will now cease to be a burden to me. Goodbye, Harry. I hope you would take my place as Ginny's older brother, once I'm dead.

Ron's head turned to where the train was heading. He was nearing the wall that separates the platform to the green scenery, the same way it would separate Ron's head from his body.

Goodbye, cruel world. You've toyed with my emotions long enough.

After a last wave and a loud goodbye, Ron turned his head the other way again and felt the strong wind blowing against his neck.

He imagined the scene when his head would be separated from his body. He can see in his mind's eye, his mother giving a shrilly bawl, his father patting his mother's back as he stares at his son's head on the platform. Fred and George shouting, "RON!" and running towards the head.

Just to take his mind off of what he was about to do, Ron wondered how it would feel if his head was apart from his body. Would he still live long enough to bid farewell to his family? Would he still be able to comfort his crying mother? Would he still be able to think at all, let alone speak?

Ron's heart was beating wildly against his chest. He can't stand this anymore. This had better be over in a second, he thought. He shut his eyes. He tightened his grip on the windowsill as he prepared for the blow.

The train gave another loud whistle as Ron, though he didn't know this, was inches away from the wall that would take his life.

Please, just get this over with.

Ron was about to be beheaded when he felt someone grab him by the back of his clothes and pulled him into the compartment.

A/N: To be continued...