Right and Wrong

Dannyl waited impatiently at the forest's edge for Delvin. His mind couldn't help but mull over the confusing but wonderful things he had come to realise in the past few months, ever since he had started as a novice at the Guild last summer.

Dannyl was 15 at present, but had been noticing for a few years now that he was different to other boys his age. For one thing, he was at a loss as to why the others would eagerly discuss certain girls that they knew, and swap tales about what they had supposedly done with them. Dannyl could never remember any time when he had felt any sort of attraction towards a girl, although he hadn't been overly bothered by this. In fact, he was glad not to have that distraction; it would only interfere with his studies.

But what had really worried Dannyl was that he sometimes found his eyes seemed to fix upon particular boys. For instance, he once spent most of a Healing class with his gaze upon one of his male classmates. He had heard the girls whisper about how good-looking he was, and Dannyl realised that he agreed. This revelation shocked him, but he found that he didn't want to stop thinking of him, and even began daydreaming about romantic encounters.

This infatuation didn't last long. However, Dannyl was dismayed to discover that he was now thinking about other boys instead, and sometimes admiring some of the adult magicians. He couldn't prevent these inclinations, they seemed to become stronger at unlikely times, and Dannyl was left wondering when this phase would end.

Although Dannyl didn't personally feel disturbed by his feelings, he knew if anyone else knew of them, he would no doubt be seen as unnatural. He had heard a scant few old stories of magician's who had had such "dishonourable" relations with other men, and they were stripped of the titles and power they had, and banished to the Fort. Dannyl was horrified to discover that in Lonmar the situation was even worse. Men were executed for such "crimes". Dannyl firmly believed this was entirely wrong, and not just because he felt the same way as these men. He believed that people couldn't help how they felt, and others scorned them and classified these feelings as repulsive only because they lacked understanding of what the minority were going through.

During Biology studies, he had sometimes been forced to re-evaluate his beliefs that each person knew what was natural for themselves. It seemed clear that men and women were attracted to each other for a reason. These classes made Dannyl wonder if intimate relations between members of the same sex were wrong. He dearly wanted to ask the Biology teacher this question, but there was no way he could do so anonymously. He needed to talk to someone who could sympathise with him, and not judge him on his peculiar desires. But he had no one to turn to. He had never been close to his parents, and he knew the outrage his family would endure if they suspected his inclinations. So he remained silent, and attempted to make sense of his feelings on his own.

What made things harder was that Dannyl didn't even have any friends. The rest of the novices seemed to follow Fergun's example, and treat Dannyl as an outcast. Fergun had taken an instant dislike of him from their first day. Fergun was arrogant and cruel, and loved nothing more than to have others obey his commands. When he discovered that Dannyl was willing to stand up to him, he quickly befriended the rest of the class, and ensured they all remained distant with Dannyl. He didn't mind being alone most of the time, it meant he could put more effort and time into studying and reading. But Fergun was determined to always be better that Dannyl, so as a result he tried to disrupt Dannyl's study. He did everything from stealing his notes to getting him into fights, which made Dannyl increasingly frustrated by his slimy-haired classmate's vindictive antics.

So Dannyl decided to get help. He had seen other novices getting help with their studies from older students, so he wanted to do the same. The presence of an older pupil could also deter Fergun from pestering him so much. Dannyl's problem was that he didn't know who to ask, as he didn't know any of them. Luckily this was solved one day in the library. Dannyl was trying to learn his Alchemy notes, when Fergun casually sat down next to him, and purposely knocked an ink pot over his notes. The insufferable smirk which spread over Fergun's face was too much for Dannyl to handle. But before he could react an older novice, whom Dannyl had often seen before in the library, had strode over and angrily demanded Fergun to leave, or else he would make him do so. Fergun was clearly offended at being reprimanded, but he hastily did as he was told. The novice turned to Dannyl and told him he had noticed Fergun bothering him a lot. He offered to let Dannyl study at his table from now on, so that hopefully Fergun would leave him alone. Dannyl was astounded at the kindness of this novice, whom he had never even spoken to before. He gratefully accepted.

The novice's name was Delvin and was in third year. He looked to be roughly 17 or 18 years old. He seemed to have no friends either, which mystified Dannyl, as he was such pleasant company. He was only a bit taller than Dannyl, but somewhat broader at the shoulder. His chestnut coloured hair was floppy, and he often needed to push it back away from his eyes. His dark eyes were usually wary, Dannyl noted, but softened when he was relaxed. Delvin behaved tense and defensive with other students, as it was clear they avoided him and shot him disdainful looks. But he gladly helped Dannyl out with his studies, so Dannyl wasn't worried about why the others seemed to shun him.

As the weeks passed by and spring came around, Dannyl had never been happier since he had come to the Guild, and indeed in his whole life. Delvin's presence had greatly lessened Fergun's childish pranks, allowing Dannyl to truly excel in most subjects. But there was another reason why Dannyl was so content. Sometimes he and Delvin studied in the forest, where they wouldn't have to endure the cold stares of the other novices. The wind or rain didn't matter, since they simply summoned a shield to keep out the cold or wet. Dannyl began to look forward to these meetings as Delvin was the only friend he had. On top of that, Dannyl had come to realise he had developed strong feelings towards the older novice. Feelings which, he was amazed to discover, Delvin had for him too. This had become clear one evening during mid-winter in the forest, when Delvin had tentatively put his arm around Dannyl's shoulders. Dannyl was surprised, but gave Delvin a nervous smile to show his delight. After this, the two novices would hold hands while they studied, and sat very close to each other. Another time, Dannyl could barely control his excitement when Delvin gently pulled his head against his chest. Dannyl could feel that the older novice's heartbeat was as rapid as his own. Dannyl had spent that night dreaming of the experience, and the pure joy he felt as Delvin had affectionately stroked his hair. Dannyl had never been surer of his feelings: For the first time he was confident that this was what he wanted…what he needed in a relationship.

All of this passed through Dannyl's mind as he waited by the forest's edge. An impulsive smile played across his lips as Delvin came towards him. They walked a safe distance into the trees before Dannyl slipped his hand into Delvin's. Dannyl stole a glance at the older novice, and was thrilled to detect the brightness in his eyes. When they reached their usual clearing where they studied, Delvin took Dannyl's satchel from his grip, and lay it down. He then gently pulled Dannyl down to the ground with him, and he sat down against a tree. He tenderly pulled a stunned Dannyl over him, so the younger novice was sitting across his lap. He helped fix him into a comfortable position. Delvin moved his head forward and pressed his lips against Dannyl's. Dannyl was so overcome with pleasure, he felt his cheeks burn and he started to tremble. But Delvin didn't seem to mind. As Dannyl grew more relaxed, he eagerly wrapped his arms around Delvin's neck, while the older novice's hands were busy caressing his back and shoulders. Next, Delvin started to softly stroke Dannyl's upper leg, which made the younger novice give a small involuntary moan of pleasure…

Suddenly, the sound of a twig snapping broke the crisp silence of the forest. Quick as lightning, Dannyl and Delvin sprang apart and stood up. Fergun emerged from behind a tree, giving the couple a look of absolute disgust. "I always knew you two were doing more than studying together…", he declared in a repulsed tone and he turned to run back to the Guild, determined to ruin the lives of these two novices by letting everyone know what he had seen in the forest.

And this was the beginning of everything going horribly wrong for Dannyl…

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