I. Sofia
Ugh…Where am I? What is this place? It's nothing but…black all around me. Am I blind? No, no. I know I'm not blind. But, for some reason, I can't see anything. Are my eyes closed? I can't hear anything either, except a high-pitch humming in my ears. But I can certainly feel; though I wish I couldn't.
My whole body feels nothing but throbbing pain. I feel like someone is pushing a million rusty knives into my entire being, especially in my head. With each piercing beat of my heart, a tsunami of pain washes over my body and brain. I try to groan, but I couldn't open my mouth or even speak. I think someone sewed my mouth together. Why would they do that? Don't they know I need my mouth to talk? Well, I guess I won't need it for the time being, with not being able to talk.
After a few minutes, or maybe years, of torturous throbbing, my body goes completely numb. I can't feel any part of my body. I can't feel my fingers. I can't feel my toes. Nothing. I try to move my hand, but it's so hard to tell if it is moving.
It's been so long since I last saw something. Actually, I can't remember the last time I looked at anything. To try and pass the time, I thought of my life before I entered this weird void. But I soon discovered a problem; I can't remember. My memory was like my surroundings: a black void. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Emptiness. I could go on. No matter how far I search in my head, there wasn't a blink of my old life. I tried again but didn't get a memory. What I did get was a lot more feelings than pain and numbness. I felt joy, kindness, some happiness about something, I'm not sure what. But then I felt fear, horror. I start shuffling around in discomfort as more horrible feelings erupted inside. A sense of hopelessness washes over me, as if someone special in my life has disappeared forever. Soon after that, I now feel a great weight of loneliness, and it resides inside of me. The lonely feeling mixes in with my numbness, and, for the first time since waking up, I sob. I don't know how. Something inside of me finally clicked on and I'm able to talk. Well, more like a whimper sound. I feel a liquid run down my deaden cheeks, sorrowful tears, and I open my eyes, which truly were closed.
It isn't much different compared to my closed eyes. It's an inky space, but there are small white dots lazily floating around. I wonder what they were, but I don't give them too much thought as more tears run down and the despair feeling intensifies while I stare at one dot. One name, my first ever, releases inside of me and I mutter it, hoping something would happen. "Amber."
Then, in a snap, emptiness fills me up again and I fall to a coma. No feeling, no mind.
I hear different noises echo around me, but they sound remote, far-off. They keep hurting my head, making it ache more. They keep mixing together that I can't tell what they are. I try to open my eyes so I can figure out what they are, but they feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. So instead, I move my hands to feel where I am, but they turn out to be so numb they may as well be dead. All I get is some pricks.
The noise intensifies and sharpens. Whether that means I'm getting more awake or the noise is just getting louder, I have no idea. It could be that my headache is going away, but I doubt it since it still pounds tremendously. As time goes on, I continue to try and pry my eyes open and move my limbs. Ever so slowly, some feelings return to my arms and legs and the noise around me gets even louder. Oh, I really want to know what's going on. I am sick and tired of the darkness and numbness! What did I do to deserve this!?
What did I do to deserve this?
I lift my useless arm again and suddenly sense something on my abdomen. I sensed it! I think I really am waking up. There is a little more feeling in my fingers. The prickling in my arms, legs, and back is more profound. Now that I can think about it, they also feel slightly slick, like glass that has some goo on it. My head moves and I feel something silky rub against me.
With all these new senses around me, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to open my eyes. So with little strength I had within me, I slowly lift up my thousand pound eyelids but only to close them back. A bright light seeped through the crack and seared my eyes, and it invigorated my headache. Slowly, the burning sensation ebbs away, but I don't risk opening my eyes again. But curiosity gets the best of me. So I try again, doing it even more slowly until only a thin line of white was visible. It still burns, but considerably less. Opening them wider, the white light grows a bit more. When the burning pain starts becoming unbearable, I stop and start looking around. All I spot are large shadows so fuzzy I can't make them out. I blink a few times and the images sharpen a bit, but they are still dark, thanks to the brightness.
God, is someone using my head as a drum?
I decide to move my eyes away from the light by turning my pounding head. Darkness overcomes my sight, but I can now see some dark green and brown in there. There's also a few darker white, not quite so bright. I look on the other side and find even more green color. Blinking a few more times, I move my slightly numb hands below and push my heavy body up. It feels like gravity around me has increased a hundredfold. I keep on collapsing back on the grass, painfully I might add. Wait, how do I know what grass is?
Finally, after a few failed attempts, I finally am able to push my body up. But my headache multiplies and I groggily groan, clutching my muddled head as I start wobbling. Before I know it, I'm back on the ground, where the world is spinning out of control. My breathing is patchy and there's bile coming dangerously close to rising. After taking a gulp of breath to keep the bile down, I crawl at a snail's pace toward a tall brown beam and sit against the hard surface, waiting for the greenery to stop going in circles.
While I keep the bile down by taking large breaths, I try to recall what happened to me. As far as I know, I woke up in a place that's green and brown, and my whole body is numb, and my head is throbbing. How I got in that position is because…wait.
I…can't remember. I don't remember what happened. What the heck?
Still searching in my head, I try to find the reason why I'm here, but it's really hard, with the splitting headache and the dizziness. Once in a while, I would think I found something until my head suddenly explodes with more hurt, making me quickly forget. I groan in pain and bow my head, wishing it would all stop now.
I finally give up searching; the pain was too much. But without a memory, how am I supposed to get back home? Do I even have a home? Friends? A pet? A family?! Do I have any of that?! Aargh!
I grip my head as a load of pain stabs deep inside. Oh god, the pain. It's too much! I can't take it! But, just as fast as it has gone, the pain disappeared, leaving me with shaky breaths.
I guess I won't ever know. My mind is nothing but a void, now. A deep, unwanted, sorrowful, black void.
Accepting that fact, sadly, I realize that the world around me has stopped spinning. The noises around me are finally separated and I can identify them. Most of the noises are birds up in the trees, singing their little tunes to those who would listen. There are also some woodland critters, like squirrels, running around and chirping. I hear a soft rustle above me, so I glance up and find some bright green leaves swaying a little, as well as finding out my vision has finally cleared. There's also a soft, unbroken roar coming from somewhere, but the trees block the view. With all these calming sounds around me, I couldn't help but smile. Kind of ironic, I think. There's all these animals and nature calmly doing whatever without a care, and here I am: a lonely, messed-up girl who has absolutely no recollection of who she is or where she came from. A sore thumb on a green hand.
With my head a dull ache and my hearing and sight somewhat normal, I finally notice one pain that I haven't perceived before until now; I am so starved that my stomach feels like it has grown teeth and is eating itself up. Gripping my abdomen, a painful moan escapes from my mouth. Man, I really, really need some food right now. But, looking around, I have a feeling I won't find anything edible at where I am. Talk about a nightmare.
Well, I won't get any food if I just stay here, wallowing in my pain and confusion. Using the tree behind me as support, I pull my body up onto my legs. They wobble like jelly on a sugar high even when I stand against a tree. My arms also shake, but not as much. Taking a big gulp of breath, which doesn't really help, I take a tentative step forward, releasing the tree. Suddenly, my legs crumples and my face returns on the ground. I gasp and hiss in pain as the dirt jars my head, rattling my throbbing mind. I take deep breaths to try and clear my mind as perspiration runs down my face. When I woke up, I felt nothing but cold and numbness. But when I started moving, it's as if someone injected hot water inside of me, making me feel feverishly hot. I think I'm going to be sick.
I didn't make another attempt until I was sure I wouldn't throw up anytime soon, though I don't know what would come up since my stomach is completely empty. Now back on my unsteady feet, I take another step forward. This time I was able to stay upright, somewhat. New waves of nausea would always wash over me with each step, but each one felt less stomach-churning than the last, so that's good news.
Now I just have to make my way through the tall trees to find something to eat. Regrettably, my head is still extremely muddled, making sense of direction impossible. Left, right, up, down, backwards, they've all left me. One time, I took a turn, feeling that it would lead me to food, and I walk face-first into a tree! That freaking hurts!
I continue walking; rubbing my aching, unusually cold nose, hoping someone or something will spare me in my misery. Just then, I sense something cold and slippery below me. I first noticed my… bare pale feet? Huh, no wonder they felt a little chilly. The next thing I noticed was that I was wearing a sort of purple dress. Must've been cute and fancy once, with the few pearls that were still stuck, but now it looks like I could win a fashion show for the dead. The entire thing is so worn-out and ripped that it just falls straight down. Plus, there are a few rips and faded spots I'm really embarrassed about, so I'm going to need a fresh pair of clothes.
Then, I finally take notice of the light reflecting off the ground where my foot is. Bending down, I touch the ground and find it cool and wet. Water! I'm standing in a puddle of water! But where did it come from?
I follow the thin trail of liquid up the path. After a while, I start to hear a soft sound coming from somewhere. I head toward the sound while also staying near the small trickle of water. Looking for the noise proved to be harder than I thought, though. It sounded like it was coming from everywhere, even above me. But at a few points, I was able to get a sense of direction to where it's at. Soon, the noise collects and leads me through a straight pathway.
With each passing second, my curiosity grows until it's as hungry as my stomach. The noise was starting to drive me crazy. Is it just playing with me? Making me go in circles? Because I could've sworn I saw that tree before. Or was it that tree? Maybe that one? They all look the same! Hold on. Was that a-
"Oof!" A sudden chill runs across my face and hands, and I couldn't breathe. I instantly push myself back up, coughing loudly and sputtering. After wiping moisture off my face, I look back and see a rock near my foot. Of course. I also scan the forest behind me, looking for something out of the ordinary. At least, I think all of this is ordinary. So far, all I see are trees, rocks, and large bushes. Strange. I thought I saw a…never mind. The craziness is probably getting in my head.
So, with nothing catching my interest, I look back down to see what made my face and hands all soaked, and I gasp. Right in front of me is a large, flowing river of clean water. I laugh in relief as I take large gulps of the cool drink. The water is really delicious and it really helps settle my stomach. I don't feel so hungry anymore. As I drink, I notice that my eyes finish clearing up and I regain some strength I didn't know I have. But as I start slowing down, I notice something…unsettling.
My hands are as pale as the clouds above me. I look back at my legs and feet and see they're the same paleness, something I quite hadn't noticed before with my horrible vision. My breathing starts becoming harder as my throat constricts while I gaze at the disturbing appearance. Ever so slowly, I place my hands against my face. They're as cold as ice. If my arms and legs look like this, then I'm afraid at what my face appears like. But I have to know. I lean back over the water to glance at my face and gasp. Staring right back at me is a ghostly-pale face with shock in her eyes like me. The untamed hair is a very dark brown in the water, being the very definition of wild. Any darker and it could be black. I think it would look black in the dark. The eyes are as white as they could be with two blue orbs dark as night.
What was I staring at? That couldn't be me, can it? That thing in the water looks unreal. Yet, as I lift my hand to my cheek, the demon mimics me. My breathing hastens and I lower my hand to the water. It does the same as well, and soon the two fingers meet. Ripples move across the clear surface of the river, momentarily ruining the horrific image. Too bad it comes back. I finally realize the truth, and, too appalled, splash my face on the watery surface. Don't know why I did that. It seems like a good decision. Now, with my face dripping little droplets, I sit on the ground, panting, unsure of what to do now. All the strength I gained from the river has evaporated. I bow my head and notice something around my neck. A large, purple gem necklace hangs around, but there's some sort of faint red smoke floating around inside. It would start to dissipate away but then return. After a minute of observing it, I let it fall back on my cold chest.
"What happened to me?" I ask, and my voice surprises me. It's very coarse and husky, even though I just had a drink. It doesn't sound right to me.
Now I'm more confused than ever. I wake up, pale and creepy eyed, cold, horrible throat, in the middle of practically nowhere with no recollection of how I got here. What am I going to do now? Just keep wandering around the forest until I rot? Heck no! I want-no, I need to find a town or something. I don't want to be alone!
"But you're not alone."
I gasp and swivel my head around, looking for the voice. I thought I was alone. But I can't find anyone. "Where are you?"
"I'm closer than you think."
The voice sounds feminine. And it sounds very near. But I still can't find her. Now I'm starting to get scared. What if it's a killer or something? I don't want to die.
"Don't worry. I won't kill you. I'm actually here to help."
"How do I know I can trust you?" I ask.
"You can. Believe me when I say this: I'll always be by your side."
I found that statement quite creepy, and yet, really comforting. I guess I have someone watching me. Maybe I will be alright. But I still can't figure out how to get out of the forest, especially in the weak state I am now. Maybe I should just count on luck being on my side and keep walking. Maybe follow this river and see where it ends up. That way, I can take a drink when I need to.
"Uh, miss?"
Gasping, I twist my head, sending some of my dark brown hair to cover half of my face. I find a man, most likely in his late forties because of his graying hair and deep lines in his face. His clothing is the common cotton brown pants and tan shirt. To my amusement-huh?-the man jumps a little, probably surprised by my strange appearance. But he quickly regains his composure and asks, "Are you alright?"
"Uh…I'm not quite sure." Truthfully, I thought that was an awful question. Do I show any sign that I'm alright?
He walks closer then leans down next to me. "What's your name, little miss?"
Before I could answer, something in my mind halts me, or lack of. I slowly turn my head away from the man, having a blank expression on my face. I should've expected this, but it was still a complete shock to me. A name should have been easy to remember. If I don't know my name, am I even human?
"Uh, miss?" the man calls and I can hear the slight fear in his tone. Somehow, that gives me some pleasure inside.
"I don't know…" I finally answer, slowly.
"Do you know where you came from?"
I shake my head, still trying to process everything I don't know.
The man sighs and mutters something under his breath. It sounded something like "Amnesia".
"Well, I know a place you can live until you remember. Would you like that?" he suggests.
My eyes widen at the thought of a living space. That means I can get out of this stupid forest. That fills me with such joy I can't hold it all inside of me. I start grinning while I mutter, "Yes. I would like that. Very much." I then start giggling uncontrollably, which unnerves the man. That just makes me giggle even more frenziedly.
