The Right Choice

Grace was nervous, but shouldn't she be? After all the years of learning to wait, of having complete faith that she wouldn't do this, of being OK with not having sex, she was rebelling against that. She felt confused, but she wouldn't admit it. There was this nagging voice telling her that maybe it was wrong, but she tried to block it out. She prepped in the mirror, making sure that she looked spectacular. She bathed twice, brushed her teeth three times, and made sure that no one was in the house.

She felt herself blushing remembering a prior conversation that she had with Jack about condoms. She was so inexperienced with this, and the fact that they weren't experiencing their first time together made her even more nervous. He would know what to do and she wouldn't. She felt her breaths become short and heavy as she stared at herself in the mirror. She could feel everything in her mind telling her not to do this, but what her heart was saying, she wasn't sure.

Adrian's voice rang through her head. Adrian didn't want her to have sex with Jack. But why not? Adrian had had sex with Jack. She said that was different. That she knew her and she wasn't ready. But she didn't know her. Nobody knew her. She would prove to everyone that she wasn't as innocent as they thought she was.

Innocence.

That was something she prided herself on, but now it was just a burden. She didn't want it anymore. Not if it got her nicknames like saint or nun. She could hear people snickering about her behind her back. She would always be that Christian girl to them. She was fine with that from people she didn't know, but she didn't want Jack to just see her as the Christian girl. But he did, and she thought to herself that maybe that was why he had sex with Adrian in the first place. Maybe it was her fault.

"Grace! Are you still in there?" The sound of Jack's voice sent butterflies to her stomach. She cleared her throat and tried not to sound like she was crying even though on the inside she was. She was about to get rid of something that she wasn't sure she wanted to get rid of.

"Yeah! Just a sec."

She checked her breath and then put on a smile as she walked out her bathroom door in lingerie that she had hesitantly picked out. She had a thin see through sweater over the top part of her lingerie, not sure if Jack would like it or not.

On her bed were roses. Roses that she had spread across her bed to make it romantic, and a few candles as well. Maybe it was cheesy, but she wanted her first time to be special, and perfect.

...

Jack's eyes practically popped out of his socket upon seeing Grace. She looked beautiful and he had never seen so much of her skin exposed before. He knew that she was putting a lot out on the line, and the question was, was it worth it? Was he good enough for Grace? He shook that thought out of his head as he smiled, "Wow..."

She put her attention on the floor and he wished she hadn't. He wanted to see those beautiful eyes again, "I hope wow is a good thing."

"It's definitely a good thing." He looked her up and down and was thoroughly amused at how nervous she was. She walked over towards Jack slowly, and the look in her eyes he knew all too well.

Fear.

"Grace are you sure you want to do this?"

She nodded almost too quickly, as if she was trying to convince herself, "Jack! We've been through this already. You have," she lowered her voice, "condoms. I'm on the pill. Everything's already prepared. No one will be home for a while either. It's fine."

"I know we have everything we need but...are you ok, emotionally?"

She paused for a moment, but then she nodded at that too, "Of course I am. I love you Jack. And you love me right?"

Did he really love her? He didn't know, but he thought maybe he could, especially as he looked at her gorgeous body right now. He smiled, "Of course I love you Grace."

She smiled at this, and all the tensions seemed to go away.

He started off slow at first. As he laid her on the bed he kissed her more passionately than he had ever kissed her before. His lips traveled down her soft skin, from her cheek, to her jawline, to her neck. His hands roamed up and down her body, and she slowly found herself touching him back. She was getting more and more comfortable, he could tell.

He wasted no time taking off his shirt, and she threw off her sweater just as quickly. She bit her bottom lip and looked away and he smiled, "Grace...you're beautiful."

She didn't say anything, her eyes were closed, and he continued to kiss her exposed skin. He rubbed his hands across her chest and smiled at her responses. Grace was beautiful in every single way. Her breathing returned back to normal once she got to used to it, and then he started to take his jeans off, when a voice got in the way.

"And you love me right?"

She didn't seem to notice him pause, but even as he kissed her the voice continued to go through his mind. He wasn't sure if he loved her just a few minutes ago, but for some reason he felt that he did, right now, at this moment. And that's when he decided that he couldn't do this. He couldn't have sex with her.

He put his jeans back on, and she looked up at him, confused, "What are you doing?"

He didn't respond as he sat up and looked at Grace, "Grace...I can't have sex with you."

She took it the wrong way completely. She felt tears threatening to spill out of her eyes as she stared down at her bed, "You don't want me?"

"What?"

"You don't have to lie and pretend that you want me Jack!" Her voice was harsh now as she looked at him with angry eyes, "I get it! You never loved me! You don't even want to have sex with me, that's how unappealing I am." She raked a hand through her hair as she avoided his gaze.

Grace that's just all wrong, Jack thought.

"Grace...what are you talking about?"

"I'm not sexy enough for you Jack is that it? I'm sorry I'm not Adrian but-"

"I never wanted you to be Adrian!"

Silence. The two of them didn't say anything for the longest time. He took a deep breath, knowing he was about to put all of his feelings on the line, "Grace...Believe me ok? I want to have sex with you."

"Then why-"

"But I don't want to have sex with you like this. I...I really do love you Grace, which is why I can't ruin everything that you believe in. I may not have a strong faith in God, but I'm not going to take you down with me. Grace, you've always wanted to wait until marriage. What changed?"

She didn't say anything for a while, controlling her breathing once again, but then she looked up at him and said, "You did."

"What?"

"Jack I really love you. I want to...I want to be with you forever. I want us to grow old and have kids and live life, together. But then you had sex with Adrian. And I don't know how I can compete with that Jack!"

"Come here," he said to her softly.

She sighed as she moved herself towards the edge of the bed next to him. Without being asked she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Grace I'm sorry...I didn't know you felt like that."

"It's not your fault. I never told you anything."

"Grace you don't have to compete with Adrian. There's really no competition. I love you and that's it. Not Adrian, not any other girl, just you."

She smiled for a moment, but then she looked up at him with curious eyes, "Then why did you have sex with her Jack?"

His jaw tightened and he had to think hard. He didn't know how to explain it without getting Grace worked up. He snaked his arm around her waist as she continued to rest on his shoulder.

"I'm a guy Grace. Sometimes guys are just pigs. It's not an excuse for hurting you the way I did, but it's true."

She could accept his answer for some reason. She could accept anything after hearing with an honest tone that Jack loved her.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not taking advantage of me...I really don't think I was ready for any of this."

He chuckled, "I know you weren't."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "How did you know?"

He chuckled as he moved his hand higher up her back. He pulled something off of her outfit and she raised an eyebrow.

"Anyone who forgets to pull off the price tag to their lingerie isn't ready for sex," he chuckled and she pushed him playfully.

The two of them cuddled until Kathleen and Tom arrived and she couldn't be anymore thankful.

This is just a random one-shot that I came up with. I never wanted Grace to have sex with Jack or anyone for that matter on the show but I always wondered what would have been different if they hadn't had sex. I think she would have taken Marshall's death a whole lot easier. Thanks for reading!