As he hurried along the bay, hands pulling his suit jacket tight around his thin frame and tears flowing freely down his cheeks, Ianto couldn't even begin to work out how it had began. But he could vividly remember how it had ended, though: with him screaming "It's over!" at Jack and storming out of the Hub.
The bitter November wind beat against his tear-stained face, but he didn't care. He felt that he deserved the pain it brought. He needed the pain to take away the numbness inside of him. It would make him forget about Jack, if only temporarily. But then, temporarily was all he wanted. He didn't want to forget Jack permanently; heck, Retcon was there if it ever came to that.
He walked past his house, but instead of turning up the gravelled drive, he kept on going. He knew that would be the first place Jack would come, looking for make-up sex, and Ianto wasn't ready for that. And he most certainly wasn't ready for all the memories it would bring back. He couldn't go anywhere in his house without seeing a surface they had shagged against, or over, or both. No. He couldn't think about that.
So he kept walking, on and on through the bitter weather until he wasn't sure where he was. It was a part of Cardiff he rarely frequented, on account of the abusive and somewhat violent youths that frequented the streets. He'd only go there as part of Torchwood, armed with a gun. Just in case.
He felt a vibration in his suit pocket, followed by a familiar ringtone. He stopped walking, pausing by the entrance to an alleyway, and felt in his pocket for his phone. He wouldn't answer to Jack, but if it was Gwen-
"Don't answer that." A snarl from behind, and what felt like the butt of a gun was pushed into his shoulder blade. Ianto swallowed, his hand instinctively going to his waist to pull out his own weapon. It wasn't there. Damn. He cursed silently, preparing himself to flee. The ringing had stopped, at any rate. He turned, but the gun was pushed harder into his shoulder, and a gloved hand over his mouth. "No."
"Get off me!" Ianto's muffled cry was to no avail as his captor pushed him forward, into the alleyway. He struggled, and the gun was removed. He took the moment to flee, but a needle was pressed into his neck, and he was instantly overcome by a feeling of light-headedness. His body went limp, and he couldn't struggle any more. His muscles wouldn't let him.
"Now that's better," his assailant whispered in his ear as he pushed Ianto's face up against the cold brick wall and tugged his trousers down. Once they, and his briefs, were down by his ankles, the man quickly loosened his own trousers to reveal an erect cock. He shoved it into Ianto's anus violently, thrusting hard.
The last thing Ianto felt was an overwhelming pain, and then he blacked out.
When he awoke, it was dark. He was lying face-down against a tarmacked surface, a cold wind beating hard against his bare legs. Wait. Bare legs? It was November. Why were his legs bare? He hadn't gone out jogging in shorts, he knew that much. Then it all came back to him. The argument, avoiding Jack, the assailant with the gun...the rape.
No. That couldn't be right. It had to be a bad dream. He tried to push himself up, but his muscles spasmed and he found he hadn't the energy. A solitary tear rolled down his face as realisation set in. He moved his arm slowly into his jacket pocket and clamped his hand around his mobile phone. Although he hadn't the energy to pull it out, he knew the speed-dial number for Jack's phone. He felt it out, and pressed it. Hopefully Jack would get the idea something was wrong, and use the tracer to track down his signal. It had to work. Otherwise he would be stuck lying in the middle of an alleyway somewhere in a dirty part of Cardiff until his muscles recovered from whatever was in the needle, and he certainly wasn't planning on dying of hypothermia. No. It had to work. Jack had to find him. But after their argument, would Jack even want to? More tears rolled down Ianto's face, and he sobbed into the pavement.
He didn't know how much time had passed when he heard Jack's familiar American accent calling his name in desperation, or how many tears he had cried. He raised his head to see Jack running towards him, his coat billowing in the wind. Ianto called out, his voice wrought with pain. Jack came close, taking off his coat and placing it over Ianto's freezing body.
"What did they do to you?" Jack whispered, stroking Ianto's face with his hand. Oh, such a warm hand.
Ianto blinked back tears, struggling to form the words. "He-he" Tears rolled down his pale face once more, and he noticed a tear escape Jack's eye as well.
"Can you stand?" Jack asked gently.
Ianto mustered all of his energy to push himself off the ground, and Jack's coat fell off, drifting onto the dirty alleyway floor. He couldn't move; his trousers and pants were still around his ankles, and he felt embarrassed, despite Jack having seen him naked countless times. Jack bent down and pulled them up, his expression growing into one of shock as he caught sight of Ianto's backside.
"What's wrong?" Ianto stammered as Jack moved around to zip up his trousers. Jack didn't speak, only bent down once more to retrieve his coat and placed it around a trembling Ianto's shoulders. He guided him back to the SUV, which was parked at the end of the alleyway. Every step Ianto took was met with an agonising pain in his lower back. He limped around to the passenger side of the car as Jack opened the door.
Jack drove back to the SUV at speed, much to Ianto's disapproval. The vehicle flew over a speed bump, and he screamed out in pain as he was lifted off the seat and pulled back down by the seatbelt, his bottom bashing the leather interior in the process. Jack slowed down after that and avoided the speed bumps. When they pulled up outside the Hub, Jack carried Ianto inside in silence. The younger man was too weak and tired to complain.
Jack settled Ianto down on the sofa and activated his headpiece. "Harper? Hurry the fuck up back here, will you?" Ianto gulped at Jack's use of language, and noticing this, Jack perched on the arm of the sofa and stroked Ianto's hair softly. "I don't like seeing you hurt."
Ianto understood. More sobs escaped him, and Jack adjusted his position to wrap his arms around his young lover. He allowed Ianto to bury his face in his shoulder as he stroked his back soothingly while the young man tearfully explained his ordeal. Jack listened, comforting, and desperately hoping for Owen to hurry up and get here. He couldn't bear seeing Ianto in such a state.
The cog door rolled open and Owen strode in. "You called, boss?"
Jack looked up and glared. "Now's not the time for joking about, Owen. Ianto's been hurt here."
Owen looked down at the Welshman sympathetically. "I'm sorry, mate. Let's get you checked over, then."
Ianto allowed Jack to carry him over to the medical bay. He was settled; face down, onto the bed, a move which he initially resisted fiercely.
"I'm sorry, mate. But I need to do this." Owen reached to unzip Ianto's trousers and gently eased them down. Ianto flinched at the unwanted contact and let out a small squeal of pain.
"Yan? Would you rather I did this?" Jack asked, and Ianto nodded. Jack moved around and removed Ianto's trousers fully, and then pulled down his pants carefully. Owen's face paled at the sight. A mixture of blood and semen was leaking out of Ianto's hole and running down his crotch. He'd seen rape victims during his time at the hospital, but never a man, and never his colleague. The shock of it made him feel sick.
Owen composed himself quickly and leant across to the tray of supplies. He found a swab and gently took a sample, swiping it across Ianto's bare bottom. The young man winced and gripped Jack's hand tightly.
"It's alright," Jack soothed, stroking his hair. He looked up at Owen. "You need to do a blood sample too, and try and find out what it was that numbed him."
"Numbed him?" Owen echoed.
Jack nodded. "Whoever attacked him injected him with something that caused his muscles to seize up so that he couldn't escape."
"That's-" Owen began, then stopped when he looked down at Ianto's fraught, trembling body. He didn't want to say anything that would upset him anymore. As much as they bickered and pretended to hate each other, Owen secretly cared for his colleague. He had to. At Torchwood, if you didn't have your team, you didn't have anyone.
"Ianto, I'm going to need to take a blood sample. Are you ok with that?"
Ianto nodded, and tried to relax as Owen injected a needle into his left thigh. He screamed at the pain, the memory of the needle which numbed him fresh in his mind. Jack gripped his hand tight.
"It's alright," Jack soothed, stroking the back of Ianto's hand with his thumb. "Owen's not going to hurt you."
"I know," Ianto choked. "Jack, I'm scared."
"All done, mate," Owen declared. "Jack, why don't you take him and get him cleaned up while I sort out the drugs and get the tests on this lot done?"
"Drugs?" Ianto echoed quietly.
"Basically, to protect you against STIs," Owen explained. "I'll do the lot in a cocktail for you if you like, so all you've got to do is drink it."
Ianto gulped then nodded. "Thanks."
"No problem," Owen told him, collecting up the samples and moving away to allow Jack to pick Ianto up once more. Jack carried him through the Hub and into the showers, where he stood Ianto up and carefully unbuttoned his shirt. The young man shook, not wanting the touch like usual.
"Jack," he said quietly. "I can do this."
"Alright," Jack agreed. "I'll just go and get you some clean clothes while you shower." He walked away slowly, pausing at the doorway just in case Ianto changed his mind. He didn't.
Once he was naked, Ianto turned on the shower and allowed the hot water to run down his back. It wasn't hot enough, so he turned the dial up to maximum. Scalding. He didn't care. He didn't seem to notice the pain as the boiling hot water poured over his skin. He reached for the nail scrubber, but instead of using it for his nails, he reached behind and ran it across his butt cheeks. He let out a contented sigh. That felt good. He scrubbed harder, faster, and desperate to remove the dirt he felt.
"What are you doing?"
Ianto dropped the nail brush at the sound of Jack's voice, and it clattered to the tiled floor. Jack put the pile of clothes on the floor and hurried over to where Ianto was once more sobbing. He wrapped his arm around the naked man, hugging him tight. The water seeped through his shirt, but Jack didn't care. He only cared about Ianto. He checked the thermostat, and noticed the dial was set to maximum. Jack reached out and turned it off.
"What was all that about?" he asked softly.
"I'm dirty," Ianto whispered. "I want to get rid of it. All the dirt. I need to. I deserve the pain."
Jack knew what Ianto was referring to, and was shocked. "Look at me," he demanded, pulling back. "Look at me, Ianto Jones. You're not dirty. You don't deserve to punish yourself like this. What happened wasn't your fault. If anything, it was mine. I should have run after you when you walked out the door, but I didn't."
"No." Ianto trembled in Jack's arms. "It wasn't your fault."
"Will you let me dry you off?" Jack asked softly, and Ianto nodded. The two men stepped out of the shower cubicle together, not breaking the embrace.
Jack bent down and picked up the towel, wrapping it around Ianto's shoulders and rubbing him dry. Eventually, his whole body was dried in the same gentle manner, and Jack helped him dress into a pair of Jack's boxers, rarely-worn jeans and a loose-fitting t-shirt. All the clothes Ianto had at the Hub were suits, and Jack didn't feel it was appropriate attire. He had hoped Ianto wouldn't resist, because the only alternative to Jack's clothing was Owen's spare clothes, which he didn't think would go down too well when the doctor saw.
Jack bent down to pick Ianto up, but he was met by a shake of the head from the young man. "I can walk," Ianto declared, trying to sound firm but still shaking. Jack relented, and watched as Ianto took small steps towards the door, trying not to wince despite the pain. He staggered into the main body of the Hub and almost fell onto the sofa.
"You alright there, mate?" Owen called, putting down the test tube he was holding and hurrying over to Ianto's side. He looked up at Jack, who had followed Ianto at a metre or so behind him, with concern. "Jack?"
"He wanted to," Jack defended himself. "I was going to carry him, but he insisted on walking."
Ianto looked up at Owen and blinked back tears. "It hurts so much."
Owen didn't know how to respond. He didn't like seeing his colleague looking so fragile and broken. He'd helped Ianto heal after the incident with the cannibals, but that was nothing compared to today.
"I'm sorry, Ianto," he replied eventually. "Look, I'm not going to get these test results back until after a few more hours, so why don't you drink up the drugs and get some sleep?" He walked across to the medical bay and brought over a small glass of water that had become discoloured by having several tablets crushed into it. Ianto adjusted himself into a sitting position and took it from Owen's hand. He sipped on it cautiously. It didn't taste great, but he couldn't risk not taking it.
When he had finished, he handed it back up to Owen. "Thanks."
"I put a sedative in there as well so you'll find it easier to sleep," Owen added as he walked away.
Ianto's face paled, and his mind flashed back to the alleyway, and how he had woken up, unable to move. "No." He stared blankly at the wall ahead of him, unable to focus on anything else.
"Yan?" Jack sat down on the sofa and put an arm around Ianto. "It's alright."
"I want to go home," Ianto sobbed, turning and clinging tightly to Jack's wet shirt. "Take me home, Jack. Please. I just want to be alone."
Jack shook his head. "You're staying here tonight. You really think I'd let you spend the night on your own? You can have my bed; I don't really need to sleep."
Ianto shook his head. "No. If I'm staying, I'll have the sofa." He stifled a yawn, and Jack adjusted himself to allow Ianto to lie down. The young man rested his head on Jack's lap, and Jack picked up his large coat, which had been discarded earlier on and ended up on the floor by the sofa. He covered Ianto with it and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.
While Ianto slept, Owen worked at extracting DNA from the traces of semen as well as trying to identify what Ianto had been injected with. He wasn't going to give up until he found it. He owed it to Ianto. Through the night he worked laboriously, and tried to resist looking over at Ianto, curled up and asleep on Jack's lap, and the boss himself sitting with his eyes closed. Whether he was sleeping or simply resting was anyone's guess; Owen knew that Jack got by on much less sleep than the rest of the team.
He didn't realise it was morning until the cog door rolled open and Toshiko strode in. The Japanese woman took one look at the sleeping pair on the sofa and walked over to Owen in confusion.
"Didn't have you down for the type to work while the boss slept," she remarked.
Owen raised an eyebrow. "Not normally, but I can't let Ianto down. I want to get this done before the sedative wears off and he wakes."
"Sedative?" Toshiko echoed. "Why? What's happened to him?"
Owen swallowed and began to explain in as much detail as he knew how. Toshiko listened in horror as the extent of her colleague's injuries were described.
"I'll run the DNA code through the computer and see if I can get a match," she offered, when Owen explained he needed her help to identify Ianto's attacker. She took the sample and walked over to her computer station, leaving Owen to still work on identifying the substance.
Ianto trembled in Jack's arms as he woke up. The sedative had worn off, and somehow he had managed to get through the night without nightmares, though he suspected that was something to do with what Owen had put in the drugs cocktail.
"Shh," Jack soothed, immediately responding to Ianto's fear. "You're safe. You're in the Hub; nobody can hurt you here."
Ianto tried to sit up and felt a pain shoot through his stomach. He squealed out in agony. "Toilet," he gasped.
Jack nodded, and stood up, taking Ianto in his arms. He carried him to the toilets without any resistance, and waited outside while Ianto relieved himself. Ianto was taking longer than usual, and as Jack approached the door hesitantly, he could hear faint sobs. He tapped on the door.
"Ianto?" There was genuine concern in Jack's voice as he pushed against the door. "Yan, are you alright in there?" There was a retching sound from inside, and Jack hammered on the door harder. "Ianto! Open up!"
There was a fumble at the door and Ianto opened it, clutching his stomach. He stumbled forwards, and Jack reached out his arms to catch him just in time. He picked up Ianto once more, and the young man didn't try to protest. He couldn't. He was in too much pain.
Jack carried him into the Hub and shouted Owen's name. The doctor turned around and immediately cleared the medical bed for Jack to lay down their paling colleague.
"I found out what the substance Ianto was injected with," Owen declared, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves. "Butaholmine. It's basically a new form of date-rape drug, mixed with some other things like morphine. You're having a reaction as it leaves your system. Get some fluids down you, and try and get it out of your system as soon as you can. It'll hurt, but it'll hurt more if you don't get it out of you."
Ianto nodded. "Drink?" he pleaded with Jack.
Toshiko overheard the conversation and pushed her chair back. "I'll go. I'll get all you boys a glass of water. Do you want any food while I'm in the kitchen?"
"Ianto can't eat anything," Owen cut in before either of the others could speak. "And I'm a dead man. Nothing for me, Tosh."
Toshiko blushed at her forgetfulness and walked into the kitchen.
Owen turned his attention back to Ianto. "The good news is all your tests came up clear. You've got no unwanted diseases, human or otherwise."
Ianto choked in relief. "Thank you," he breathed.
"Here you go," Toshiko smiled as she returned from the kitchen and handed Ianto a glass of water. She gave the second to Jack before sipping on the third herself. "How are you feeling?"
"Hurts like hell," Ianto explained, sitting up slowly. "And that's just in my head. It's worse than with the cannibals."
"I suppose you've got to be glad Gwen's on her honeymoon and not fussing over you, eh," Owen told him with a pat on the arm.
Ianto smiled wryly at the thought. "I don't want her to know," he blurted out suddenly.
"Alright," Jack agreed. "She won't have to know if you don't want her to."
"I think I've almost got a DNA match," Toshiko explained as she walked back over to her computer. "I should have a definite identification in about half an hour."
"That's great," Jack smiled, stroking Ianto's back gently.
Ianto shook under his lover's touch. "I don't want to know who it was," he stammered. "I'm scared, Jack."
Jack set his glass down and pulled Ianto into a hug. "You've got nothing to be scared of any more. I'm going to look after you."
"Excuse me while I go and throw up," Owen muttered, ignoring the fact that, since being dead, he couldn't throw up. Just standing on his head until it all shot out was more like it.
Jack glared at Owen. "If you're not going to be helpful, then go away."
"I've got it!" Toshiko exclaimed suddenly from her computer. Jack hurried over, despite Ianto's protests. He slammed his hand down hard on the desk as he stared intently at the screen. A scrawny, shaven-headed man of barely twenty glared out at him.
"Grant Bradshaw," Jack muttered to himself, reading the name. "Bastard. How accurate is this DNA matching, Tosh?"
"It's never been wrong before," Toshiko replied. "The likelihood it's made its first error now is almost impossible. It's the height of alien technology."
"That was the man who attacked me?" Ianto asked with a whisper. Jack and Toshiko turned around, completely unaware that he had ambled painfully over to the computer.
"Yan," Jack began, placing his hand on Ianto's trembling arm.
"It's alright." Ianto swallowed back tears as his stomach reacted against the drugs. He turned quickly and vomited violently onto the floor.
"Whoa!" Owen hurried over and helped Jack to escort Ianto over to the sofa. "Come on, don't overdo it. Your body's still recovering."
Ianto sank down onto the soft cushion and allowed tears to run down his face. Owen touched his shoulder gently as Jack moved to sit down beside his young lover. Once more, he took Ianto into his arms. He'd lost count of how many times he'd adopted the same position over the past twelve hours or so, and it scared Jack to see Ianto so torn.
Across the Hub, Toshiko was returning from the kitchen with a bucket of hot water and a bottle of disinfectant. Without protest, she began to clean up Ianto's vomit. Noticing, the young man raised his head and looked over Jack's shoulder.
"You don't have to do that." His voice was fractured, and his whole body was trembling in Jack's arms. "I'll do it. My mess."
Toshiko shook her head. "You're in no fit state to be doing anything, Ianto. You need to rest. You spend too much time cleaning up after everyone. Let us look after you for a change." She caught Owen's eye, who nodded.
"Tosh is right, Ianto." Owen folded his arms. "As your doctor, I'm ordering you not to move from that sofa. And as your friend, I'm going to look after you. Is there anything you need?"
"Retcon?" Ianto asked hopefully.
Jack shook his head, and pressed a soft kiss to Ianto's forehead. "No way. I'm sorry, Ianto, but I'm not having you do that. You're strong. We can get through this without Retcon."
"You're strong," Ianto corrected. "I'm just a coward. I couldn't even shoot Lisa."
"You saved me from the cannibals," Toshiko reminded him. "You're a stronger person than you give yourself credit for." She walked over and perched on the edge of the sofa, placing a hand onto Ianto's arm.
Ianto shook his head. "If I was strong," he stammered, tears welling up, "I wouldn't have let him-"
"Hey," Jack whispered, stroking Ianto's hair and pulling his face into his chest. "Even the strongest of us can't fight everything life throws at us."
Ianto simply sobbed harder against Jack, who looked up sadly at the rest of his team. Nobody knew exactly what to say. Torchwood had experienced a lot of hardships, but never a personal attack on one of its team.
"Ianto," Jack whispered, "I'm going to ask you to make a big decision now. Either we call the police and let them deal with arresting the man who did this, or we deal with him the Torchwood way."
"Retcon!" Ianto almost screamed into Jack's chest. "I don't want to deal with it! I just want it never to have happened!" He fought against Jack's hold, arms beating fiercely against the captain's body. "If you won't give it to me, I'll take it myself! Let me go!"
"No." Jack tightened his restraint and looked up at a concerned Toshiko. "Go and get all the supplies of Retcon and move them somewhere he can't get to them. I'm not having him overdose."
Toshiko nodded and hurried off, not quite sure what to make of the situation. She was seeing a side of Ianto she'd never witnessed before, and sincerely hoped she'd never see again.
Panicking, Ianto managed to break one of his arms out of Jack's hold and used it to push Jack's head back. Fingers spread wide, he pressed his palm hard against Jack's face, pushing with all his strength. Jack fought against it, but Ianto only pushed harder. Ianto's breathing quickened, his mind unable to focus on anything other than the desperate need to escape. The battle between the two men continued, and Owen became increasingly anxious that someone was going to get seriously hurt. Knowing Ianto couldn't leave the Hub, he hurried to lock all the exits. As he turned, he heard a strangled cry from Jack, then a sound of a bone snapping.
