What the hell? Where am I? I don't know. Why am I talking like this? WHY DO I HAVE A FRENCH ACCENT?! I don't FREAKING know!!!! NOW WHERE THE HELL IS I?! YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU, BUB!!!!

All I know, is there's this, like… ruin around me and guys are shooting at me! Don't they know that bullets LOVE me?! They do!

"OMG! Look at him do this spinny thingy!" Then I whirled around. Oh, God… Dizzy… Gonna barf… Jeezus!!!!

"So cool!" Who were these voices? I don't know, but I'm keen on finding out. I started to run—without me telling my legs to move, of course. There was this idiot, shooting at me blindly. He didn't even hit me!

I ran to him and just cut off his head… Maybe I don't hate this place so much… I kept running. JEEZ, CAN I HAVE A PEE BREAK?! I NEED TO PEE!!! Since no one stopped, I had to… forget I said anything. I kept running, and reached this place in someplace.

Wait… I just noticed something… My hair… it's… it's…. all… non bad-ass… WHAT THE HELL?! WHY ISN'T MY HAIR BAD-ASS?!?!?!?! It's like…. I used way to much conditioner! DAMNIT! MY HAAAAIIIIRRRR!!!?

Then—with crappy hair—I walked to the rope where I started to climb on it. Then I let out a grunt, not when I told myself. What the heck? Then I started to fall on the rope.

OW OW OWOWOWOWOWWO!!! HOLY SHIT, OW! ROPE BUURRRNN!!! Wait…. What the hell? This feeling…

"OMG! THAT'S HALARIOUS!" yelled a loud voice. TURN DOWN YOUR VOLUME, RE-RE!! I climbed the rope again, and I started to slide down in segments. Ow… Man, my pants hurt…. OW, DAMNIT! IT HURTS!! STTOOOPPPPP!!! [it's a good thing I heal quickly… I can have children! *mind thought, happy face*]

After about thirty minutes of dick-burning, we finally GOT somewhere. Wait… I'M SHIRTLESS! Why am I shirtless? Whhhyyy? But I do look hot, don't I?

*loud bing noise* WHAT THE HELL… "Level up!" What, level up? I… I'm in a video game? Huh?

We came to this big, fat, ugly old lady—wait… It's a lava monster. Sorry, I thought it was your grandma. OH, BURN! FEEL THE DICK-BURN!! I gotta start writing these down…

These idiot who were controlling me was, like, killing me. I would have sliced this douche's head off in an instant if I were in control. But, no, I have to keep JUMPING off! Gah! Why is this video game so gggaaayyy?! Such a fag… I was fighting, then I heard a budump… budump… My… Heart? I don't have a heart!

Like Scott always say, if you want to go to Hell, you gotta be heartless. I'm all up for the flames and the devil-babes! Cha!

Finally, I got out of the ruins, but, man… They kept dick-burning me, and they kept running me in circles, and they kept trying to kill me. Hey, I'm the good guy here. Good guys don't die! Except Scott… When I get my hands around his neck… Mwahahahahaha.

We came to this place where my arm was around this hot babe. Hey… Hot babe.

"Coo-coo-cachu got screwed!" I said. Did I tell you that's my favorite line next to 'Bub'? We walked until we came to the bar. "GO!" I yelled. No… I wanted this hot babe… DON'T LEAVE ME HOT BABE! But she left… Oh, yeah… she digs me.

I walked in to see my brother—WOAH! THAT GAY FAGGOT?! WHY IS HE HERE?! [can't you tell he's gay? He DREW a freaking SMILEY face on the table!!!!! And his nails grow, like, SUPA long!]

"Look! His brother!" someone gasped. What, you don't think I know that douche? God, shut up, inner voice! You're so annoying sometimes… Then I ran at him and started to fight him. Bub, I'm sick of this shit. fav line

He cornered me and started to cut the hell out of me. Like… I feel like I was getting raped. And it didn't feel good… but if it were the hot babe… another story. Continue: I slashed the heck out of him and BAM, he's dead. Wait.. Why didn't that fag die?! HE DIDN'T DIE!

"AH! WHAT?!" I lurched forward, clutching my head. "Oh… just another nightmare… about being in a video game and getting raped by my brother…. God, it was terrible…"

"What?" the elf said, cocking his head. I looked around to see everyone in my room, with streamers falling randomly to the floor. There was a banner that said Happy Birthday, Logan! Oh, God… Another nightmare…

- - - - - - - - -

Hello. Midnight6606 here! I wrote this story when I was hanging out with , my best buddeh! We totally went crazy when I brought the video game to the river with us. We weren't controlling Wolverine, we were laughing at him. Some other guy hanging with us [her cousin, who's name I will not say] was controlling him. It shows how much guys are perverts…. Anyway, we wanted to show this to the public because we love Wolverine and all this funny shit we did. Sorry for the freaking long aftermath crap, BUB!

Midnight6606 +

PS: We love Wolverine and Wolverine loves us. CHA!!!!!!!!?