Author's Notes:  There's rampant OOC here, a couple of characters from other anime shows, and profanity and violence.  Oh yeah, and character bashing on all fronts.  Enjoy.

Afterwards

            After all the cheering crowds, the television appearances, the celebratory speeches, and all the grand parties thrown in honor of the defeat of OZ and Mariemaia's army, the Gundam pilots just wanted some time to relax.  A hectic month had gone by since the war's end, and everyone finally had a free weekend to do with as they pleased.  Relena had had the idea to invite the five teens over to her estate for some 'down time', and to her slight surprise all had accepted.  She'd gotten the impression that at one of them didn't care much for her (*cough* Wufei *cough*).  Still, she put on a lavish array of food for them.  Too bad it wasn't done by the time the first guest arrived…

            "Hello, Miss Relena," Quatre said courteously when Relena opened the door.

            "I'm so glad you could make it," Relena gushed.  "You're the first to arrive.  Why don't you make yourself comfortable?  The food isn't ready yet, and besides, it would be rude to start the dinner without the others here."

            "Yes, it would," Quatre agreed.

            Rude got Relena to thinking.  "Quatre," she began, "Where are those bodyguards you always have with you?"

            "Oh, the Maguanacs…I gave them some time off.  I think they all piled into a couple of vans and drove into town."

            "That's a shame," Relena remarked, her thoughts not really following her mouth.  "Pagan's making enough food to feed all of them as well.  I should go tell him."

            Relena headed off towards the kitchen, while Quatre went into Relena's den and started perusing the newspaper there.  Before Relena could make it to her destination, however, the doorbell rang.  Pagan, coming out of the kitchen, bolted for the door, but Relena beat him there.  She opened the door to find a grinning Duo Maxwell.

            "Where's the food?  I'm starved!" he exclaimed.

            "I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the others arrive.  Besides, the food isn't quite ready yet.  Right, Pagan?"

            "Another 10 minutes," Pagan said apologetically.

            "It's alright, Pagan," Relena said.  "We're still waiting for the others to arrive."

            "No, it's not alright!" Duo butted in.  "I'm hungry now!"

            "I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait," Relena replied curtly.  "Maybe you could join Quatre in the den.  Anyway, my home is at your disposal."

            Duo hung his cap up on the coat rack standing nearby.  Then Relena's 72-inch, surround sound, DVD equipped, picture within a picture, Internet ready TV caught his eye.  Drooling, he strode over there and plopped himself down on a lavish leather couch.  He sought and found the remote, and after a moment's worth of channel surfing, came to rest on AC MTV.  Relena noticed some indistinguishable teeny-bopper band dancing across the screen and sighed.

            "Boys will be boys," she mused to nobody in particular, and then ended up gasping involuntarily when she turned to find Wufei standing in her still open doorway.  She tried to turn the gasp into a compulsory smile as she welcomed the stone-faced pilot.

            "Weakling," he said forcefully.  "Not only do you leave your home open for anybody to waltz in, but then you stare unabashedly at that person.  Did I frighten you?  Or maybe you find me attractive…?"

            Relena promptly choked and sputtered at Wufei's comments.  She visually composed herself and responded.  "Uh…many apologies if I've offended you."  Relena had never liked Wufei, and Wufei hated her right back.  Plus, he was way too stern and serious.  Not that she didn't like people who seemed to be constantly stern and serious…she caught herself before she went off the deep end into another Heero-induced stupor, and continued talking.  "Until the others arrive, you can make yourself at home."

            "Injustice!" Wufei spat out.  "No food yet?  And I'll have you know my home was blown up, thank you very much."  He stormed off to who knows where (hold Pagan at katana-point, probably).  As he left the main hall, Relena caught a muttered 'stupid onna' from the Chinese pilot.  In retaliation, she stuck her tongue out as far as it could go at him.

            "That isn't very polite."

            Relena's tongue retreated as she turned around.  "Oh…Trowa, I'm sorry.  I didn't notice you there.  Seems I'm offending most everyone tonight."  At this point, Relena made two mental notes:  to stop pissing people off, and to close the front door.

            Trowa stifled a rare snicker and decided not to make a comment somewhere along the lines of, "Well, you offend everyone all the time."  Instead, he opted for something a bit safer.  "I didn't think you to be the kind of person to go behind someone's back."

            Now Relena looked offended.  "But he called me a stupid onna!" she protested.

            "Yeah, he does that to everyone, even us," Trowa responded.

            "I know.  That's what pisses me off!" Relena fumed.

            "Man, how many times will she, the supposed total pacifist, lose control like this?" Trowa said sarcastically very low under his breath.

            "What was that?" Relena queried.

            "Nothing," Trowa calmly replied.  "I was just wondering if the food was ready."  'Like I'm going to eat it anyways,' Trowa thought to himself, careful to avoid Relena overhearing any more of his comments.

            "Just a couple more minutes, then dinner will be served.  Hopefully Heero will arrive by then.  Then we'll be able to start," Relena politely said.  "In the meantime, you can find something to do while you wait"

            Trowa spied Quatre behind his newspaper and started walking over there.  Quatre looked up to see Trowa advancing towards him and started blushing profusely.  Trowa sat down across from Quatre and started a conversation, which must've been pretty one sided, because Quatre was burying his head in his paper to keep Trowa from seeing his scarlet cheeks. 

Relena looked on, a puzzled expression on her face.  'Why is Quatre blushing?' was the first thought that coursed through Relena's mind, but not the most important.  She quickly dismissed the two chatting pilots from her mind and turned to wondering where Heero was.  She started pacing nervously back and forth, and then proceeded to make laps of her overly-large front hall.  Her steps quickened as the minutes flew by.  10, 20, 30, 45 minutes, then a whole hour went by, and no Heero.  Pagan had informed her long ago that dinner was finally ready.  "Where's Heero?  He's ruining everything!" Relena thought.  Or so she thought she thought.  She stopped her pacing as she noticed everyone had their heads inclined towards her and questioning looks on their faces.

"Oops!  Did I just say that aloud?" Relena questioned.  Three heads nodded in reply while a certain self-proclaimed God of Death was trying hard not to laugh his ass off, and pretty much failing.

Relena noticed and got angry.  "Well, it's true!"  She was fast becoming more flustered than she already was.  "I just wanted everyone to have a nice, relaxing evening, and to get some peace and quiet.  It's just not fair!"  She was softly crying now, tears streaming down her pink-tinged cheeks.

"That's not why I'm laughing," Duo remarked, trying to regain some seriousness and failing miserably.  "Heero's been here the past 45 minutes.  He snuck in when you and Wufei were going at it."  Duo pointed a finger at the bit of brown hair sticking up above the top of the couch.

"Joke's on you, Relena," Heero said in his dull monotone as he craned his head back to look at her.

"Ohh, the NERVE!" Relena shrieked.  "The night's ruined!  The food's probably cold and disgusting, I'm mad, you're laughing at me, and…" Relena sank to the floor in a pile of skirts, sobbing now.  Trowa and Quatre looked on, distressed at the situation.  Wufei looked strangely satisfied at seeing Relena so miserable, and Duo and Heero looked like they'd anticipated as much.

"Relena, I 'ruined' your party on purpose.  We all know how stuffy and formal and unbearable your parties get, so we all agreed on another plan." Heero said.

"What plan?!?!?" everyone chorused.

"OK, the plan's just mine.  But you will like it" Heero shot a Deathglare to back his statement up, and it succeeded in shutting up the unvoiced complaints he knew were coming.  He gestured at the TV, which was still playing music videos.  "We need time to relax, right?  So we're going out and having some fun."

'The word fun just came out of Heero's mouth?' was the unanimous thought at the moment.  Heero saw the opening and continued.  "I know what you're going to say.  We're celebrities, and we can't go out without being mobbed.  I know that just as well as the rest of you.  That's why I rented a bar for the night."  Heero pointed at the television again.  "Specifically, a karaoke bar.  I invited everyone, too.  Sally…"

Wufei groaned.

"Hilde…"

Duo moaned.

"Catherine…"

Owls were heard outside.  They were the only ones that gave a hoot about the knive-throwing circus lady.

"Dorothy…"

A raucous din was heard as many voices rose to complain about Heero's ability to choose the right people.

"Howard…"

"But he's old, eccentric, and just plain weird.  And he smells," Duo piped up.

"So?" Heero responded, and Duo didn't say any more.  Heero went on.

"Noin…"

"But she'll just hit on my brother," Relena grumbled.

Everyone had a good laugh over that.

"Yes, him too," Heero said stoically.  "Let's see, I invited Lady Une…"

"I know she's peace-minded now, and head of the Preventers, but she killed my father, excuse me, my adoptive father.  And her split personalities still pop up occasionally.  She gives me the creeps," Relena said all in one breath, the nearly fainted from the exertion.  She recovered and asked, "Why her, Heero?"

"……………" responded Heero.

"I see," Relena said in response to the silence.

"And to wrap this up," everyone let out a sigh of relief, "Anyone I forgot to mention, excluding dead people and people we don't give a shit about."

"Heero! Watch your language!" Relena admonished.  She would've continued, but then Pagan walked in.

"What about me?" he said.

"Pagan, you suck.  You're too old to come along.  Hell, you drive 25 on the highway," Heero bluntly stated.  Most looked to be in agreement, except Quatre.  He was just being courteous, though.  Relena also looked angry, though whether it was about Pagan being berated or Heero's coarse language couldn't be told.

"Why the hell do I never get to have any fun?  That damn hippie Howard gets to go and I don't?  What a screwed up system this is.  I have to stay behind and clean up the kitchen I've been slaving in since 6 this morning," Pagan yelled.  "You can all just fuck off.  Relena," he motioned to her, "Watch your back.  I just might pull a disgruntled butler stint and…

"Too late," Duo joked.

"Why you little braided son-of-a-bitch!  Take that back!"  Pagan roared.  Showing surprising agility for one his age (Jurassic at least), he took a flying leap at Duo, grabbing for his throat.  Seeing Duo in danger, Heero reached into Hammerspace (spandex) and pulled out his gun.  He aimed, and fired.  The bullet lanced through Pagan's head right before he got to Duo.  Duo sidestepped the flying butler's body, leaving it to crash into the wall next to the TV.  It crumpled into a bloody mass as it landed.

"Ewww," Relena gagged.  "Can't say he didn't deserve it.  Too bad I can't call him to take care of this mess, though.  Oh well.  I should've given him the pink slip long ago."

"Yeah, for suggesting I get a pink shirt!" Quatre finally spoke up.

"And for getting me a pink car!" Relena added.

"And for turning my nice pair of white pants pink in the wash," Wufei said with contempt.

"I 'pink' we've had enough of these pink comments," Trowa said in deadpan.  Everyone agreed.

"C'mon, the night is young!  Let's go!" Duo encouraged.  There was a mad rush for the door and voices rose in protest over who'd drive and who'd get shotgun.  Heero, hearing the word shotgun, reached into Hammerspace and pulled out an example.  Those who noticed ran much faster.  Relena, being the closest and somehow being able to run in high heels, made it to the abomination of a car first and hopped in the driver's seat.  Everyone else (except Quatre, nice guy he is) ran to the passenger side of the car to claim the second most coveted seat.  Duo managed to get the door open, but Relena reached out and forcefully yanked Heero in.  Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei crammed into the backseat, leaving Duo with nowhere to sit.

"What am I supposed to do?" Duo whined.

In response, Relena popped the trunk and got out, a smile on her face.

"You can't be serious," Duo plead.

"You talk too much," Relena said gleefully while pushing Duo backwards.  Before he knew what was going on, Relena had Duo in the trunk and the lid closed.  She got back in the car and said, "OK, we're ready now."

"Do you even know how to drive?" Trowa asked cautiously.

"I've watched Pagan enough times to know how," she replied, her feelings a bit hurt.

The others swallowed the sudden lump that appeared in their throats and fastened their seatbelts.  Relena turned the key in the ignition, and the rest of the car's occupants hung on for dear life as Relena floored it.

A.N. - Well, I hoped you liked it.  In case you couldn't tell by the ending, this will be continued in the near future.  This may end up being a huge trilogy, and the part you see is about a fourth of the first chapter.  The problem is, I won't continue it unless you guys want me to, so tell me how you like it.  I crave feedback.