Same 'verse as 'Saplings', Toph and Sokka discuss Toph's recent marriage.
Title is from the Of Monster's and Men song of the same name. I'd suggest listening to it.
Writing Tokka bromance is the best thing ever. They're snarky and chatty, which is a specialty of mine.
"Hey Toph."
"Hey Sokka."
They exchanged their morning greetings each weekday before the council met to discuss trivial matters. Roads, schools, taxes, other boring things Sokka loved and Toph hated.
"What did you get up to over the weekend?" He asked, stretching.
"Oh, heh, you know... this and that. Some gambling, some drinking, got married."
"That sounds like fun. Hey wait a minute! Clearly I must have some crazy talk in my humble ears, because it just sounded like you said you got married. See, that can't be true, because I didn't get my invitation to be MAN OF HONOUR in the mail!"
Sokka gestured wildly throughout this speech. Toph picked her earwax with her pinkie.
"Yup. Got married." She said.
"And you didn't invite me? Did you invite Aang? That sneaky little-"
"Nope. Or Katara, or Zuko. Kinda spur-of-the-moment thing."
"Spur of the moment? You could have called!" Sokka wailed.
"What? Did you think I'd just bust your house down in the middle of the night to drag you to the temple?"
"Pretty much."
"That is something I would do. Just didn't feel like it though." She shrugged.
Sokka huffed and glared at his friend. She was non-chalant. Too non-chalant.
"There's something you aren't telling me."
"Your fly's down." Sokka looked, embarassed.
"Hey!" He realised she wouldn't know if it was.
"Are you going to tell me who the lucky person is? I'd say fella if I didn't know about your track record of deflowering Republic City's virgins."
"Like a boss." Toph added.
Sokka pinched the space between his eyebrows.
"Who did you marry Toph?"
"Not gonna guess?"
"No."
"Come onnnn." She jibed.
"No."
"Three guesses. If you get 'em all wrong I'll tell you."
He glared as she picked her nose, before breathing a sigh of defeat.
"The Duke, Haru, Jun?"
"Nope, nope, nope." She flicked the booger.
"Okay, I give up. Now tell me."
"Azula." Her voice dropped a little as she said it.
Toph flushed with embarassment at the inopportune crack. Sokka wasn't paying attention, though. His brain had short circuited.
"Say that again." He said.
"I married Azula."
"As-in, Princess of the Fire Nation?"
"The same."
"Not some prostitute with a heart of gold who uses the name ironically and really has an ugly name like Hsui Mei?"
"Azula."
"Killed Aang that one time?"
"Water under the bridge according to the man himself."
Sokka knew Toph pretty well, so he could tell that she was actually pretty nervous about revealing this. Sure, she acted like she didn't care, but she had her hands balled up in her pockets and was pacing. She laughed a little too airily for it to be anything but nerves.
"Okay. How long have you two been canoodling?"
"Canoodling?" Her voice dropped sarcasticly.
"A thing! How long have you and she been making with the beasts and the two backs?"
"Five years."
"What? And you never told me? I thought we were best buddies! I made us bracelets." Sokka snapped his own woven bracelet for emphasis.
It broke.
He smiled uneasily and hid the damaged trinket in his pocket.
"You never asked."
"Sure I did, I said, 'So who have you been fucking lately?' Loads of times."
"And I said, 'Some aristocrats, some peasants, some soldiers, some royals.' I didn't lie."
"You were unhelpfully unspecific though."
"True."
Sokka watched his friend shrink in to herself. She was used to being much smaller, and thus harder to notice. Easier to hide behind her hair when she was under four feet tall.
"I was scared of how you would react." She said, rubbing at her eye.
"Well, yeah, I'm a little shocked to find out my best friend just got married to someone who tried to kill all of us at least once, but I'm still here for you." He put a hand on her shoulder.
"She's different. She's funny, and plays the ruan just for me. It's only suitable for the world's greatest Earthbender to marry the greatest Firebender. I mean, since Iroh died."
"So maybe I don't know the new and improved Azula. Maybe you can introduce us now?"
Toph nodded slightly and cleared her throat. She squared her shoulders, then punched him in the arm. Hard.
"Ow! Again with the violence!" But he was smiling.
"We'll have a celebratory dinner at my place. Then you all can meet my wife."
"Sounds like fun. I reserve the right to leave if she tries to set me on fire though."
"But that's her best party trick!"
Notes:
Hsui Mei - name means "Sophisticated eyebrows" which I find to be a hilariously awesome name. It's also a reference to Azula's amazing eyebrows. They are very sophisticated.
Ruan - A round Chinese lute.
