Title: Maura's letters
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles
Author: Wolflover007
Language: English

Rating: M
Genre: Tragedy/Angst
Originally Published: 12-18-14

Reposted: 05-07-19


Chapter 1: Prologue


One of my earliest pieces. I have decided to reupload it. One day it will be updated. Its a sad one :'( this takes place after Maura is kidnapped but frost is still alive here.

WARNING:

THIS PIECE CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, SELF HARM AND OVERALL GRIEF/SADNESS. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED OR AFFECTED BY THESE, PLEASE DONT READ! YOUR HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS STORY.

NOW ONTO THE STORY.


Maura sighed as she slumped against the couch. She shivered even though there was a heat wave in Boston. She just wanted to sleep but as the night dragged on she couldn't. The nightmare was too real. She grabbed the bottle of Bruichladdich and opened it. She set it down to get a glass and a knife.

She trembled as she brought the knife to her arm like so many time before. She looked at the marks already engraved into her skin and hesitated. She closed her eyes for a moment.


She could still feel the handcuffs digging into her wrists. Still smell the chloroform that he put against her nose. The smell making her vomit. Trapped in the asylum, crying for 3 days. he fed her but beat her. tortured her. nearly killed her.


Maura opened her eyes and looked at the knife again. She thought about ending it before. It would be so easy just to do it. Maura was so tired, so sad and so alone. She just couldn't go on. She should do it.

The only thing holding her back was Jane. Jane who saved her that day, who never knew how badly Maura wanted to do this. Her sweet girlfriend who was at her apartment. The sweet lover who tried to help, who gave Maura a glimpse of hope for the past year that they have been dating.

Sadly it wasn't enough. She downed some whiskey and cut a horizontal line into her arm. It usually worked but she didn't feel any relief. She raised the knife again but it still did nothing.

She drowned more whiskey and grabbed some paper to tear it up hoping that would help. It didn't.

Do it. End it. Her mind said.

She grabbed the lockbox in her closet and got the pistol she kept in it. She wanted a gun for fun as well as protection and now it will be her peace.

She grew panicked and grabbed the bottle. She chugged the rest of it and smashed it against the wall. She ran out of her house and drove to nowhere.


Maura sat under a tree in the middle of the forest at the park. She had went off the path and smirked as she felt the rain. Rain was water. It was supposed to wash away sin and purify those who were tainted. But she couldn't be pure. She has been tainted since that day. She didn't want Jane to become tainted like she was. All she wanted was her innocence back from that night but she would never get it back.

She ran a hand through her wet hair and smiled. She looked at the sky. She put the gun to her head. It would be quick. One little flick and it would be over. She smirked. As a child the darkness was her salvation, after the kidnapping the darkness was a fear. So much that she had to sleep with some form of light. Now that eternal darkness will once again serve as her salvation.

She thought of a song that she liked as she got one last look of earth she was about to leave.

But it gets so lonely

Being on my own

With no one to talk to

And no one to hold me

I'm not always strong

Jane I'm sorry. You deserved a better girlfriend. She thought.

Hear me I'm crying out, I'm ready now

Turn my world upside down, find me

I'm lost inside the crowd, it's getting loud

The voices in her head grew louder.

Do it.

End it.

Just one flick.

Just one…

BANG!

Darkness.

Silence.

Nothingness.

Peace.

End Prologue