fablE
Welcome, my precious readers. Before I really get into No Man is an Island, I wanted to post a real quick oneshot of some serious hurt-Usopp, Usopp-lovin, angst, and bravery. If you've read So Favored, So Loved, well this oneshot is the story behind Garp's piqued interest in Usopp. You don't have to actually read the story to understand anything, but for those who did, get ready for the why. Anyway, this is obviously an Usolu/Lusopp, but before you click away, give the story a chance. You might actually like it. There's actually a lot more adventure than anything.
This is obviously a long oneshot, which I decided split into 2-3 parts, but it has a lot of information in it. Anyway, here's to the story.
For IcePrincessChan
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or its characters. I just write fanfiction people.
Title: Fable
Pairing(s): Usolu, various others.
Summary: "It's mostly a lie, you know?" "huh?" "The stuff I said. About Ake and Im and what they did to the giants of Elbaf. It was a tale. I was just afraid to lose you." "You wouldn't lose me." "But I thought I would." His eyes tear up. "And I couldn't, so I hurt people." Luffy takes off his hat and firmly places it atop his curls. "Usopp would never lose me."
Rating: M
To All The People I've Loved
"Where the hell is that shitty sniper? Food's gonna get cold." It's more of a traditional question now than an actual phrase of consideration. Sanji knows where Usopp is. They all do. Once before, Usopp would be the first one up, watching Sanji cook for fear of his boyfriend stealing all his food. For the five months since Elbaf, Usopp doesn't come to eat with anyone anymore. At least not altogether in a large group where he feels so overwhelmed by them all. In fact, he didn't really eat much at all anymore; too scared and too often of something. Anything; everyone staring at his hands; them judging him; hearing the questions. Luffy doesn't take his food anymore. It's left wrapped in the left corner of the fridge where the lock is purposely unhinged for those nightly hunger raids that Usopp thinks no one knows about.
Instead of spending time with the crew, Usopp spends his days in solitude; in the garden behind Nami's tangerines. So they know where he is. Retrieving him and getting him to eat breakfast is the big feat. And it's Luffy's job. When Sanji asks that question, it's a cue for Luffy to go and retrieve his boyfriend from wherever he is in his thoughts. "I'll get 'em," he mumbles to the quiet crew. When he's halfway out the door of the kitchen, he hears Sanji murmur "Get Chopper too, will ya? I think he's sleeping."
The Monkey mindlessly leads himself to the garden where he can hear Usopp's soft voice. Usopp's voice, though shrill when he was afraid, always had a calming effect. Especially when he sang old songs that none of them knew. His voice was made of ivory and gold when he sang, more valuable and ironically priceless compared to all the riches they'd come across. It was a piece of his puzzle that Luffy loved so much about him. He found the sniper there often, tending to the plants he loved, in a world he loved, and singing currency. What Luffy didn't expect to find was Chopper lazily lying on his side staring at the morning sky.
Either Usopp hadn't noticed the reindeer or he just didn't care. The brown man busied himself in softly placing his treasured pop greens in the dirt.
"And all the harm that I ever did
Alas it was to none but me,"
He sang the song almost inaudibly as if the words were difficult to say in his tongue. Chopper had noticed too as he shifted on one side toward Usopp and rested his small head in the crook of his elbow. Since he met them, Usopp was some kind of statue to the animal. He stared at the sniper a lot, listened to him like he was some sort of God. But now, ever since Elbaf and maybe even a few weeks before when Usopp had lost himself, the eighteen-year-old stared at him like he was an ancient puzzle, trying to find secrets in his head.
"And all I've done
for want of wit
To memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you al-"
Luffy places a hand on his lover's shoulder, mumbling his name. Sometimes, he doesn't think about how idiotic he can really be. He doesn't think about his actions because he's Luffy. He wings it and it turns out the way it should be. But he should be more careful. Especially with Usopp. Usopp, who can't even handle the sound of his own voice without crying and backing into a corner like he heard a monster. Usopp, who fights as he did back in East Blue because he doesn't want to hear the sound of his weapon. Usopp, who couldn't really come back from what happened, no matter the countless nights where the crew urged him it was over. Usopp, who was still somehow stuck in all that blood on Elbaf, screaming for Luffy to come and save him.
Usopp screams. It's blood curdling and vast around the Thousand Sunny and all that gold and ivory in his mouth has turned into dust and debris, disgusting and unsoothing. He's lashed out before, many times before Luffy. Only before Luffy. Never before anyone else. Never before Chopper, who's eighteen but still a kid with the thought that Usopp - God Usopp - is too strong for traumatic stress. It was too much for him, really. One wrong move and he'd go crazy; whacko; nutty is what they called it in the papers. One wrong move and Usopp would go down under an exceptional burden. 34 pounds of ammo, plus the layers of clothing to hide the scars, plus the weapon and all the rest.
Plus the unweighted fear.
So Usopp screams and yanks away and grabs at his side where Kabuto isn't.
"Usopp," Luffy calls. "It's me!"
"Get off! Get off! Get off!"
"Usopp!" Luffy grabs hold of the sniper's leg as the other tries to scramble away like a bug. He tenses. All three of them do. Chopper's standing now, staring bewildered at his hero. Usopp is kind of dangling there, his nails in Sunny's back as he stares haphazardly into space; calculating his next move. He does it a lot now, sitting there as still as an inanimate object as if people can't see him when he isn't moving. Sitting there and thinking, his hands searching. Luffy still has the other into place. His face is hidden beneath his hat and he's more embarrassed about his own actions than Usopp's.
It isn't the commotion that draws the rest of the Straw Hats on deck, but the stillness and silence that follows after. Sanji comes out first, the scream of his best friend common in his head. His brows are deep down his forehead and he's clutching his fist so hard on an invisible weapon. The rest follow suit as he looks around. "What happened?" He demands. "Where's Usop-"
Luffy lets the ankle go. And like some sort of rabid creature, Usopp ushers away faster than Sanji can finish. He goes to the railing and stares at Luffy as if he's someone else. Someone he has to fear and defeat. He's muttering to himself and there's snot running down his nose and tears in his eyes. And he's still embarrassingly reaching those hands around for his weapon.
"It's not there, Usop-"
"Leave him," Luffy snaps at Zoro. The crew grows quiet, even Usopp stills in searching and looks down. They all sit and stand cautiously for a moment before Usopp falls back against the rail. He's breathing heavy and his eyes are closed and his head is turned toward the sun. And then they open. His pretty brown eyes open and the sniper looks up and around in confusion. He tenses when he sees the concerned eyes of his crewmates. And then Luffy, who's staring the way a captain would.
"Luffy," he whispers. "How did I- Where - how?" And he halts. "Did I do the thing?"
Luffy crouches low to the deck and eyes Usopp like he's some sort of exotic animal. "C'mere," he softly demands. Usopp frowns and looks away from them all. He's embarrassed, no doubt. But even more so afraid. He could have hurt them. Any of them. Or all of them. "Usopp. C'mere."
"No," the sniper says defiantly. "I hurt you. I hurt you all. I didn't mean to. I didn't."
Luffy sighs. He looks to his crew. They don't understand anything. Days ago, when Garp had left, Usopp was just fine. But now, he had gone back to before. When they left Elbaf.
'We cared,' Luffy defends. He can't believe Usopp would even think that. And now he really wants to know what happened on Elbaf that made him like this. What made him lose his trust in his nakama.
'You all did. Just not enough.'
He's taken aback. Luffy isn't a smart man. He's taken aback easily. But this one….this one hurts. 'Usopp,' he murmurs.
Usopp stops him. 'I just….I just wanted comfort. And I want you to know that I'm both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that's possible.'
He sighs. Grandpa was right. Usopp wasn't going to get any better if he didn't let it out. "Than," he hesitates, "Tell us what you saw just then."
Usopp tenses. "No."
"Usopp," Luffy says back with just as much force. "It won't get better unless we work on it. That's what grandpa said."
"No!"
"Usopp"
"Just leave it, okay?"
"Usopp."
"Zoro was dead again, okay?" Usopp stands in a defensive and then he stares around at the crew with hard overshadowed eyes. His eyes meet Zoro's and he almost falls back as the images that come again. That bloated face, the dead eyes. The grabbing. "He was dead and she killed him and I couldn't bring him back."
"Again?" Nami softly asks like Usopp is some sort of child who had a bad dream that doesn't make sense.
He crosses his arms. "You wouldn't understand," he mutters. They wouldn't understand until they saw what he saw. Felt what he felt. They've never watched their crewmate die only to wake up and see them. They've never had to experience the blood and gore and lost hope like him.
Zoro sits. "Than make us," he demands. "We want to hear everything you've been through. Everything that happened. Starting way before we got to that damn Kingdom."
Usopp looks at his friend. He shakes his head. "Are you….are you sure?"
"Course I am. What do you take me for?"
Usopp nods. He doesn't know where he should start really. He's overwhelmed and afraid, but he's also surprised that they're all willing to listen to what happened on Elbaf and how he feels. What he sees and hears. What they did to him. "I...I don't know if you want-"
"We do, longnose, so tell us. It feels better when you let it out."
The sniper laughs, but when he looks up, soft tears fall from his eyes. "I mean. Where do I start?"
"From the beginning, I suppose," Luffy comes to sit by his lover. "Just let me understand, please."
"Okay," the sniper whispers in return. Quietly, he reaches over and grabs Luffy's hand, not missing the soft squeeze he gets in return. "Well, I guess it started three days before we got to Elbaf. It started with the thoughts." He looks up and around them all. "And then the dreams came."
Five Months Prior
Nami grates her teeth together again as she hears giggling. It's not Luffy's annoyingly soft laugh nor is it Usopp's high pitched squeal. Zoro is too busy napping or too busy training to play and Sanji's too busy being an idiot in the kitchen.
Brook's violin is echoing from the crow's nest, scratchy and hesitant as he practiced new scores.
Chopper, she thinks. The woman looks up from her newspaper with enough venom to murder the entire crew. "Chopper, I'm going to give you five seconds to get from under my chair-"
"Shh."
He shushed her. He shushed her although he's disturbing her quiet time. This little runt. Her brows furrow and she clenches the paper tightly in her hand. "Choppe-"
Nami stops. Usopp has stopped before her, smiling down at her mischievously. "Hey, Nami. Have you seen Luffy or Chopper? We're playing hide and seek, but I want to hide as quickly as possible."
"Well play hide and seek somewhere else? I'm reading." Despite wanting to strangle him, Nami isn't going to give way to Chopper's obvious location.
Usopp scratches his head. "Jeez, who kicked you out of the bed this morning?"
"What?" She hisses dangerously.
"Nothing." Usopp sticks his tongue out at the woman as a loud roar erupts from somewhere on the ship.
"Usssssssoooooopppp," Luffy screams, "you'll never find me!" It's a lie because Luffy is really bad at this game even though he initiates it.
Nami sighs when she sees Usopp smirk with a shake of his head. "You know, after all these years, you still haven't told me what you see in our idiot of a captain." Usopp laughs softly and there's a hint of a blush on his cheeks. Nami sighs again as it is the action of the day. She and Usopp tell each other many things, but he's still never told her - or anyone for that matter - why he fell in love and sticks with Luffy. All he does is smile and look away. Like now. "You're still holding out on me?"
Usopp nods. "I don't want to tell anyone what I see in Luffy."
"Why?"
"Because I'm afraid that if they knew, they might fall in love with him too." Usopp hurries off into a door of the Sunny. He whistles down a tight hallway, thinking of where Luffy or Chopper could be hiding. Lu was a lot easier to find; he was loud and obnoxious and quiet wasn't his forte. He'd often forget his goal and lead himself to the kitchen or into another game. Chopper, on the other hand, was usually never found until the game ended, asleep in his hiding spot. Usopp halts by a door as he hears a scatter of feet on the inside.
The nineteen-year-old hums in interest. A year ago, they'd stopped using the rooms on the lower deck, only using them for storage. If he remembered, this was Robin's old room. But, not even hide and seek could bring it back to life. Luffy wasn't so smart and Chopper was too lazy. Unless….
"Got chu!" The sniper kicks open the door, murmuring a slight apology to Merry in the process. He stands there for a moment, looking at the dusty old room. It isn't much in here, just an empty bed in the corner and a dresser on the side. "Hm." Usopp squints as his haki searches the room, but again, nothing. Slowly, he looks to the right of the bed. Nothing's over there. Not Chopper or Luffy.
He hears sniffling. Still coming from the room and slowly, he looks to the other side. Usopp isn't crazy. When he came in, the bed was stripped and not even his haki could detect another soul.
But now, the bed was made and a small body sat upon it. Usopp had been on the seas for three years. He'd seen almost everything there was to see. And although fear was something he'd always need to be brave, it had turned into caution. Simple caution. The boy on the bed is small, slightly lighter than Usopp with his afro cut low. One knee is clutched to his chest as he stares at Usopp with tears in his eyes. "I had a bad dream," he whispers in the quiet.
Usopp can't help himself when he strides into the room and whispers back. "Brook?"
The child doesn't confirm that. But Usopp can feel it in his blood when the boy doesn't look away. Even as his lips tremble and his shoulders heave with emotion, unwilling to back down. His dark lashes are brimmed heavy with tears; his hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief. A lone tear traced down his cheek. "I had a bad dream," he tells Usopp again as if it were profound. "I don't want to go back there."
It's not real. He knows it isn't real. But Usopp always had a connection with children through his stories and fables. And he can't help himself when he pushes into the room to stand in the middle. "You don't have to."
"But you sent me there," Brook whines, telling Usopp like the sniper was the child. "You did."
"I didn't." He doesn't know where this boy came from or what he's afraid of, but he knows fear. He would never send anyone where they didn't want to be. "I wouldn't do that."
"But what if…." the child trails off and hugs himself further. "But what if you do send me back there?"
Usopp shakes his head. "Brook-"
Brook whimpers. "What if you send me back out there and I get hurt really bad? What if I go back out there and I make a lot of friends but I lose them? And I can never return to them because something bad happens. What if I get hurt really bad and all my friends go away? What if I go away too, but I have to come back and I'm alone for decades without sunlight. And God takes my shadow away from me so I don't even have a friend in the dark? What if that happens?"
Usopp walks closer in the middle of the room, shaking his head and staring intensely at the child. A single tear slides down from his warm, coffee eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flow their way down his dark cheeks, releasing the sadness and sorrow that had been building up with every one of Brook's questions. "I would never…" he trails and more tears escape as he shakes his head at the curious child. Brook's life and afterlife had been so heartbreaking, but hearing his younger self express fears about the inevitable made Usopp's entire chest collapse. He could feel it. Feel everything as a matter of fact. "I would never-"
"Usopp." Luffy's voice behind him makes him jump slightly out of the world that seems so real to him. He turns to see the other teen smiling at him. "You really couldn't find us? I was in the kitchen the whole time." He stares at Usopp for a moment. "Who were you talking to?"
Usopp touches his now dry face in stunned surprise. When he turns around, the child and the sadness and the dream is gone. And all he's left with is the barren bed.
"What's wrong?"
"Where's Brook? Is he okay?"
Luffy's head tilts to the side. "He's in the crow's nest." And then he half smirks at Usopp. "I know why you're in here." He comes closer as Usopp shakes his head in confusion, his heart still pounding. Brook - that boy - isn't okay. He can feel it. Luffy laughs softly as he leans forward. A kiss on Usopp's neck followed by one on his jaw.
"Luffy," he protests quietly. But Luffy doesn't stop. Usopp turns to the bed again, still feeling a presence. "Luffy, stop. Is Brook okay?"
Luffy frowns then. "Of course. Should he not be?"
He's not okay. Here's out there.
"What?"
"I said of course he's okay-"
"No. After that."
"I didn't say anything after that, 'Sopp."
Usopp shakes his head. He pries Luffy's arms from around his waist. "Stop. I'm not in the mood."
And he's gone from the room faster than Luffy can persuade him they should stay for a little while. The Monkey he left behind, stumped.
The rest of Usopp's day revolves around Brook, much to Luffy's dismay. After spending time singing with Brook in the crow's nest, the sniper wanted to show Brook some paintings of Laboon he'd finished. And when Usopp ran out of things to keep Brook close, he watched him wearily from afar, like the skeleton would disappear.
Everyone notices it. But no one says a thing about it. They're all close to each other by now. Luffy enjoys that his crewmates got to understand one another over the years. And he surely doesn't mind Usopp's sudden hold on Brook's leg.
But, Usopp is… the captain trails, holding his now aching head. Usopp is…..his. Given they spend their waking moments together. And Luffy wasn't jealous. Not even in the slightest. It was just that….he was concerned. Usopp was the bravest of them all, defined by overcoming fears daily. But when he was really scared, like so scared that he shut himself out, it concerns him.
It concerns him, but Luffy is Luffy. He doesn't think about it until they're going to sleep for the night. It's a night neither of them have watch so Luffy doesn't hide his excitement when Usopp makes his way to the captain's quarters.
He smiles shyly at Luffy when he comes in, a tray of food in his arms. "Hey."
Luffy returns that hey breathlessly, taken aback by both the tray and his lover. Because Usopp's is so fucking gorgeous just standing there and he's perfect enough to bring Luffy food before they go to bed.
Usopp laughs once he realizes that Luffy isn't going to do anything but stand and stare like a dumbfounded fool. "You're impossible."
The stupor is broken and Luffy laughs too, though not as much as the sniper. "Sorry."
It only makes Usopp laugh harder as he comes forward and sits the tray on the bed. Luffy sits across from him as they both begin eating quietly. He's taught Luffy to eat in increments since they were younger and Luffy always ate all the food on their dates. "Don't say sorry. It's cute, you know? When you stare."
"Than what do I say?"
"You just give a compliment." Luffy's still the more unromantic of the two, but Usopp doesn't mind showing him the ropes or anything. "Like tell me I'm handsom-"
"-you're perfect."
"-e or something." Usopp chokes on a grape. So maybe not so unromantic. Just unexpectedly and surprisingly endearing. "Yeah. Like that." Silence. "Thank you," he murmurs.
"And what do I say after that?"
"After the compliment?"
"Yeah."
Usopp laughs a little. "You say 'Usopp will you marry me someday?'"
Luffy smiles. "Usopp will you marry me someday? You're my best friend and the world's stupid when you're not with me. It just don't make sense." Usopp blushes and opens his mouth. However, Luffy beats him to it. "And you would say yes because you want to be my Usopp as much as I want to be your Luffy forever." Usopp laughs quietly and Luffy leans forward to touch his forehead like he's checking his temperature. Actions of endearment are not his forte. Though those words kiss his heart like it's the only heart that needs tending to. "You'd say yes, wouldn't you Usopp?"
"Absolutely." No doubt. No hesitation. "You know, you're really good at these late night conversations." Luffy doesn't know what he's saying half the time, but he sure does when he speaks to him. And he sure as hell means the meaningless words.
"I'm also good with some other late night things too."
"Oh really?" The black boy pushes the now empty tray out of the way as Luffy crawls over to him.
"Hell yeah." And before anything else, Luffy kisses him. It's a soft peck. And suddenly, his lips go to Usopp's neck. The sniper's trying to be indifferent now. It doesn't do to let someone with an ego like Luffy's know how much power he has. He doesn't lean in, doesn't make it easy or seem too keen.
While his lips are busy marking up Usopp's neck, the Monkey's hands caress his neck. Slow and gentle. Luffy knows more than anyone that this is a sensitive spot. So when the darker teen ignored it in favor of Brook, the captain knew something was off.
He wants to ask if he's okay. And why he had been so worried about Brook in the first place. But Usopp lets out a small whimper when the bruise on his neck is licked gently.
"You're okay," Luffy accidentally mutters into the hot skin. He smiles a little and then he's embarrassed because all this time, he just wanted Usopp to himself so he could make sure. And now that he knows, he's embarrassed because Usopp knows too.
"Yeah?" It's more of a question than an agreement.
"Yeah." Luffy moves back to look at the other. "I'm making you wait...and now I know what you want."
Usopp laughs quietly. "What?"
Luffy moves closer to cup the sniper's face in his hands. And then he gives Usopp what he knows he wants. It's a laugh really. How Luffy can actually jump him and kiss every part of his face goofily and sloppily without hurting him.
And Usopp's laughing while being half tickled and half kissed and he's got that really loud and obnoxious laugh that annoys everyone and it's just perfect. It's perfect.
She breaks when they fall asleep. He can hear her cries at night, but he can never understand why. Usopp doesn't know who's body he possesses as he walks quietly around the sleeping Sunny. Whether male or female, whether friend or foe, he knows less. He only knows that he can hear this woman in utter pain. She's broken no doubt; physically, mentally, emotionally. But he doesn't know who she is. Or where she is. He doesn't know anything.
The man stills as he hears footsteps behind him. Slowly, cautiously, he turns. It's….Usopp can feel his eyes narrow and his limbs reach for his side where Kabuto is.
This man is foul. Since his very beginning, Usopp knows this man has been consumed by darkness and despair. And instead of moving beyond his own upbringing, he always chose to bring darkness with him, destroying lives and dreams every chance he got. All with no true purpose. And if that wasn't the worst of it, he was the one true enemy of Monkey D. Luffy. Any enemy to the love of his life should die a thousand times over. But he….Blackbeard…..he didn't even deserve that kind of death. It would never be enough.
"Blackbeard," Usopp says the coward's name in a demanding tone. "State your business on the Thousand Sunny."
Blackbeard says nothing. The large man only continues to stare at him...or through him...a horrible look in those horrible eyes. He's angry no doubt. Bitter with rage as his fists clench and unclench.
Usopp sneers as the man starts walking forward. "Stop or I'll-"
He gasps and clutches his stomach as Blackbeard goes straight through him. The feeling isn't any kind of pain. It's worse. Because he can feel it...everything. The air, the sound, the darkness. He can feel that and it's worse than pain.
The young man turns to stare at Teach's retreating form, his heavy shoulders heaving as he goes down into the lower deck of the Sunny. Usopp doesn't know what demands him to do so. He has no purpose here and now that he knows that no one can see him, he can't change a thing. He can't remove Blackbeard from the ship, he can't stop the woman from crying, and he can't escape.
But he follows Blackbeard down anyway, hastily and in fear of what the Yonko is doing. Blackbeard doesn't stop when he gets to his destination but rather knocks the door down by barging into the room.
"Shut your mouth, whore!"
His enraged scream echoes around the lower level of the ship and Usopp cautiously steps into the room. It burns his eyes firsthand. It stinks; smelling of human feces and blood. And it's disgusting. Teach has no problem with the smell apparently, he simply stares down at a wooden post in the middle of the room, chains wrapped from top to bottom.
There's heavy breathing, but it isn't Blackbeard. Cautiously, Usopp goes around the large man to see who this crying woman is. He can vaguely remember Bonney being captured for some time by Teach, but it wouldn't explain why Usopp was-
Usopp freezes and instantly his eyes tear up. Her arms are tied above her head and she's naked down to her core. He looks back at Teach, who's still staring at her in anger. He knows the barbarian can't hear him, but rendered speechless, it's the only thing he can think of.
"What are you doing?" he whispers. It's demanding, but he's scared. More scared than he's ever been. Terrified even. He can't do anything. "Why do have her? Let her go!"
Nami isn't supposed to be here. Not with him. Not alone. Where's Luffy? Zoro? Where the fuck is Sanji? Nami's his friend. One of his best friends, someone who helped from Syrup Village to now. They always helped one another out. And to see her so bloody and broken, Usopp can't comprehend.
Teach laughs as he and Nami stare at one another. "I got a way to shut your mouth again. Looks like you want it."
"Didn't you hear me!?" Usopp demands. "I said 'let her go!'"
Teach moves closer to Nami and he crouches down. Usopp shakes his head when the man runs his disgusting fat fingers over her pale leg. "D-don't touch her!" But Teach doesn't stop. Doesn't even hesitate. Not when he climbs over Nami. Not when he pulls down his pants. Not when she cries. Not while Usopp is screaming and trying to throw punches in the man's back as his fists go through.
Teach keeps going and going and Nami's gone silent a while ago. Usopp is still screaming and crying in rage, anger, defeat, and sadness. But Teach stays over her. He keeps going and moaning and touching her.
Usopp stands. "Goddammit, I said stop!" He grabs Kabuto and puts a more deadly pop green in the sling. The sniper aims as well as he can with the tears in his eyes. "Get the fuck off of her so I can blow your fucking head off!"
Teach stops thrusting. The world goes quiet. The heavy man's head turns to the side almost as if to look at someone behind him. "Well, well, well. Ain't that something."
Nami's just laying there on her side. Her eyes shift to the side again and become glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As she blinks, they drip from her eyelids and slide down her cheeks. She bites her lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth; Usopp's heart sinks.
Slowly, but surely, her eyes come to meet Usopp's. She can see him. He swears she can see him.
Her lower lip quivers as words slowly make their way out of her mouth. "Usopp?"
Usopp gasps as he rolls off Luffy's bed. He looks around the captain's quarters in shock, desperation, and agony. It's dark. Luffy's snore drops to the floor like an anchor and the teen lifts himself off the floor. His boyfriend is sound asleep, undisturbed by Usopp's crash and Nami's crying.
The sniper looks up in horror. "Nami," he whispers. Quickly dressing, Usopp makes haste out of Luffy's room to make sure his friend is okay. Sanji would probably kill him if he were caught sneaking into the woman's quarters. But he can still hear Nami crying. It's not okay. She's not okay.
Usopp opens she and Robin's door quietly. The moonlight touches her warm orange hair and flashes over her eyes. The girl groans in annoyance, something that sleep can't even take from her, and turns away. She's sleeping and annoyed and tossing around like she always does. Usopp's eyes fill with liquid and he smiles softly, leaning on the door and just staring at his best friend's sleeping face. "You're okay," he whispers to her.
Liar. She's not okay. He's hurting her.
Usopp frowns. It's the thoughts again. It's that stupid voice. Usopp shakes his head and closes Nami's door. He has to make sure she'll be safe. The sniper keeps Kabuto by his side as he journeys around the entire ship, looking for signs of Blackbeard. All the third, second, and first floor rooms and parts, the soldier dock system, his factory, the library, the sickbay, and Franky's workshop.
The sniper finally ends up by the crow's nest. His eyes narrow in suspicion. "Franky. You up there?"
The door opens and Franky does indeed poke his cyber head out. A wave of relief floods over Usopp. "Usopp-bro, why are you up? Zoro-bro is taking over."
"Nevermind that," Usopp mutters. "I'm just up to get a snack. Wanted to make sure you were keeping watch. You know, back in Syrup they called me Usopp-the-eye because I was so good at keeping watch over the village." At least the cyborg was keeping watch. So if anyone did show up, a warning could be called before Nami was even close to danger.
Liar.
"Really? That is suuuu-per!" Franky says in wonder.
Usopp nods and swallows the lump in his throat. "Yeah, but I'll tell you about tomorrow, okay?"
"Got it, bro. Night."
He whispers the sentiment back, already on his way back to Nami's room. It was a trap. He should have known it would be too easy.
He's hurting her. She's not okay. Liar.
By the time, he reaches the women's room, he's out of breath and panting and he doesn't mind opening the door as if there's an actual attack. Nami groans again, this time disturbed by the moonlight and the noise. Her eyes open, but they're squinted in confusion. "Usopp?" she croaks in her tiredness.
Usopp closes the door. The man turns around to lean against it. Still, he's breathing hard and scared and more tears fill his eyes. He sinks lower as the thoughts come back. Brook on the bed. Nami on the floor. It's not right. A brave warrior of the sea isn't supposed to be so emotional. But he can feel it. Every pain that Nami felt, he can feel it. Every fear in Brook's mind, he could feel it. The air, sound, and darkness. He could feel that too. In fact, he could feel everything. And the sniper curls into himself outside the women's door and cries. For the living and the dead, he cries.
He comes to with Sanji yelling at him. The sniper looks up groggily as Sanji rants with spit flying out of his mouth. The temper on this cook is by far, still one of the most tremendous things Usopp has seen. And being on the Grandline and in the New World, he's seen enough.
"I mean, I'd expect this from lawn-head up there. Or even that pervert zombie. But really, Usopp?"
"What?" he asks tiredly.
Sanji's cigarette breaks in two while still between his lips. "You know what I'm talking about. You're here because you were trying to peek in on Nami-swan and my dear Robin. A lady deserves more respect than that."
The night's events come back to him exactly as they were. A bad dream. The sniper wakes up a little more to see that he's still sitting against the women's room door. He must have fallen asleep there. Which was good. It meant that he kept Nami safe. But still….
"No I really wasn't."
"Liar!"
"Sanji," he says dangerously, deathly serious as he stares at his friend. "I'm serious. I wasn't trying to peek on Nami or Robin. At least not the way you think."
"Then why-"
"Can you shut that hole in your face, lover boy? Half the crew isn't even up yet."
Sanji turns around with a glower in his face as he stares dangerously at crow's nest where Zoro is hanging out of a window. "What?"
Usopp stands as the cook makes his way over to their swordsman. A fight is brewing, but it always does. So he doesn't care. Carefully, the man knocks on the door behind him. "Come in," a soft voice calls. And Usopp takes the invitation immediately. Robin is sitting upon her bed reading a book while Nami works diligently at her desk. Her ink going across the paper swiftly yet elegantly. She was in her zone like every other morning as she mapped out their destination.
Nami was the most skilled navigator he knew...possibly the world knew. She drew those maps as if she had created the world herself. It's a work of art that takes time, patience, and solitude. Which is why the woman doesn't notice Usopp standing beside her until she goes to draw the coordinates of her map.
Instead of looking up or stopping, Nami hums in acknowledgment. "We should make it to Elbaf by tomorrow if my mapping is correct. It's so hard to go by these old maps of the kingdom."
"With you on board, we'll make it exactly how you foresee it."
Nami smiles at the praise. "All I have to do is map out the currents, ship docking locations, and details of the island." She's getting excited just talking about what she's going to do so Usopp can't help it when he messes with her ponytail in a teasing manner.
"Alright, nerd." Nami shoos his hands away, but she laughs nonetheless. He stares at her in content before asking "You okay, Nam?"
The girl looks up. "Yeah. These maps might wear me out, but you know I'll be okay." It's not what he was implying because the thoughts of Teach still plague his mind, but she's okay. Once more, quiet consumes them in full. "You excited?"
"Me?"
"I'm talking to you, aren't I?"
"Why would I be excited about your maps?"
"Not the maps you idiot. Elbaf. Are you excited?"
Usopp wants to say yes. Since he was seventeen in Little Garden...and their height wasn't the only reason he looked up to Dorry and Broggy, he wanted to visit Elbaf and live amongst the warriors. He wanted to be brave. Every giant from Elbaf that he befriended further ignited that goal. Every brave warrior always made him feel like he had a chance. Everyone knew Usopp wanted to go to Elbaf.
Nami lays the map flat on the table before Luffy. She smirks mischievously at her captain before looking back at the map. Sanji and Zoro are on either side of her, staring at her work like an enemy they have to cut or kick down; in calculation.
Usopp smiles and leans forward in the captain's lap. "So where to next, navigator?"
Nami smirks again and now Luffy leans forward and Zoro leans closer to the unmarked map with a large tree in the middle of it. The anticipation is killing them now. "Oh, you'll love this one."
"Is there meat?"
"What's all this anyway? Maps are supposed to be labeled."
Nami shushes them. "This here….is Elbaf."
It goes quiet and all heads turn to Usopp. It makes the frightful sniper jump. "Ahh! Why are you all staring at me?"
Luffy pinches his side. "It's Elbaf."
"So?"
"Aw cut the shit you, shitty sniper. Everyone knows it's been your dream for a long time. There's no reason to lie."
Usopp only laughs. "You're right. Elbaf sure is a pretty big deal. Let's hope the giants like me as much as the ones we've met."
Again, Luffy pinches his side. "Of course, stupid. Everybody likes Usopp."
"Everybody isn't just you, Luffy."
Luffy smiles goofily at him. "Really?"
The teen smiles at Nami. "Finally, right?"
And she returns that sentiment. "Right."
By the time Nami shoos him away, Sanji is done with breakfast, which slightly annoys her because while she doesn't mind talking with the crew when she first wakes, finishing just an ounce of a map sets her mood for the whole day. They each have small perks that make them happy and makes everyone else tolerable. Like the former warlord swimming in the mornings or Brook practicing songs.
She doesn't mind accompanying him to the kitchen in content silence. Usopp stays close to her, his eyes fleeting to her and away before she notices.
He's hurting her.
The thoughts come back. The feelings come back. The dream returns and so do the whispers. He can feel it and all the sniper wants to do is scream and shout in a fit.
She's not okay.
Stop.
Liar.
Leave me alone.
He's hurting her.
Get out of my head!
"You alright?"
Usopp looks up fleetingly to find himself still walking next to Nami, his fist tightened around the hem of her shirt. Although it's a question of consideration, Nami - willful, no-nonsense Nami - is glaring softly at him. It's a weird move; to hold the hem of her shirt. She probably thought he was trying to lift it and peek at her breasts. Which didn't make sense because Usopp was on the receiving end of a strong committed relationship with their captain. Still, this was Nami. He'd get hit even if he told her why he wasn't okay.
"Yea-"
The slam of her fist on his head hits about three inches from his hairline; five from his ear. The same spot she's been hitting since East Blue. That spot's tough steel. "Then stop trying to lift my shirt, you creep."
Usopp rubs his head in feigned hurt. He glares at his friend out of the corner of his eye but hides his amusement like his fears. "I wasn't trying to, idiot. Why would I even thin- you know what? Forget it. There's no point in arguing with you."
Nami laughs and opens the kitchen door, holding it open for Usopp. "That's cause I'm always right."
Usopp smirks, but for different reason as he walks through the door and says proudly "such a gentleman, sir-Nami." It earns him another hit over the head. "Nami!" He yells incredulous.
"Hmph. Serves you right."
Usopp pulls out a chair for the navigator and plops beside her. He looks around the dining table to see everyone in their own conversations. Brook and Chopper are watching Luffy pull some stupid stunt with his plate. It's a trick Luffy had perfected to 'impress' him; by now, Usopp isn't impressed. Sanji is serving Robin and Franky food while Zoro-
"Where's Zoro?" Usopp asks aloud. The swordsman was usually in the kitchen right after Luffy. Not only as an early riser but a very high worshipper of keeping the body healthy and full.
Sanji glares hard at the table, Franky's plate almost cracking in his hand. It's only then the sniper notices the small gash on Sanji's lip. Jagged no doubt from the blade of a sword. Usopp bites his lip, but to no avail.
He bursts out laughing as the table grows confused. It's only Sanji that understands what his best friend is laughing at and the plate that was in his hand shatters.
"Bro!" Franky yells as his food splatters.
But Sanji isn't listening. He's too busy staring down Usopp. "Why don't you go and get Marimo out of the damn crow's nest, Usopp?"
Usopp shakes his head, still laughing as he stands. While he's walking, he mutters "Zoro must have the shoe print on his head, I guess."
Parts of the shattered plate hit the door. The teen shakes his head as he journeys to the crow's nest. There's a feeling in the pit of his stomach that tells him everything is okay. That these thoughts and dreams are only that. That he's just been exhausted and in need of some well-deserved rest. The crew is still the crew.
Zoro and Sanji still fight. Nami's always annoyed. Franky is still a kid at heart and Robin is still caring. Luffy's a damn idiot and Chopper and Brook indulge him. And Jinbe is Jinbe.
The sniper hears a splash of water and sees the helmsman come out of the sea partially. He nods. Still Jinbe. Still them. Everything will always be okay. Even if it's not perfect, it's okay.
It's not okay, Usopp.
With a small frown, the teen quietly climbs the nest, ready to laugh in Zoro's face about the fight earlier. However, he stops when he pulls the door. He doesn't think anyone has ever heard Zoro sing. Luffy, maybe. The captain always catches their best moments. But no one else. Usopp leans an elbow on the nest floor, still hanging out. He rests his chin, a soft smile adorning his cheeks. How wonderful was it to be placed beside people that one could never tire of? How beautiful was it to find people who changed so often, they kept interesting?
Zoro's voice is melodic and deep, it's own catchy tune. It's as luring as the voice in Usopp's head and the sniper can't help that he drags a little closer to his friend's form.
"Of all the comrades the I e'er had
They are sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that I had
They would wish me one more day to stay
But since it has
Unto my lot
That I should rise
And you should not."
The swordsman is shirtless, giving a full display of every tear and bruise on his body over the lingering years. All but one are pink and rubbery. His own brown eyes linger on the black scar on his back. It's different. Black and matted. Taking the shape of a tree and its branches, the scar looks like poison. And that's because it is. The poison of darkness. Based on Nami's evaluation, the blood stops before it reaches that scar, and finds another course to flow.
There's no blood that runs through that scar, but sometimes, Usopp can see the branches move like veins. When Blackbeard had caught up to them last year, they weren't ready. Usopp glares at the scar and imagines the worst kind of fate for that pig. Next time, they would be.
The scars on the back of the swordsman are his shame.
No doubt. This scar, only ever seen by the first five Strawhats - Sanji and Luffy intentionally, Usopp accidentally, and Nami demandingly - was Zoro's lesson. It was all theirs. Every scar they'd gotten from Blackbeard that day was their lesson.
The scars on Usopp's hands, the stitched line over Luffy's chest, the tree scar on Zoro, those are the most prominent scars. They're the ones that made Teach angriest. They're the ones that kept fighting.
Those that continue to fight die.
And when Usopp stares at his warted hands that scare him, and the place where Luffy had to get his heart stitched back in, and that scar that makes Zoro act distant, he wants to cry. They should have stopped. They should have run back to the ship with the others. Luffy shouldn't have stayed behind. Zoro shouldn't have been so loyal to him. And Usopp shouldn't have loved him. But Luffy was selfless. And Zoro was his captain's Bushido. And Usopp didn't want to lose his love. And they got scars because of those simple beautiful mistakes.
The teen looks back up toward Zoro's back, but freezes. The swordsman isn't singing anymore. He not moving. But he's in water. There's water everywhere in the crow's nest. And Zoro is sinking in it.
Mud. Filthy water. Trees. It's a swamp.
He thinks that Zoro is holding onto the log before him, trying to stay above his watery demise, but it can't be. In all his years on the sea, Usopp knows death when he sees it. Of everyone on that ship, to him, his Japanese friend had the most beautiful eyes on that ship; bark brown, sharp, and mysterious. But now his open eyes are blackened out. Like a moment in space without stars. His mouth is open, his tongue is blue, his mouth is dried foam. And his face is bloated. Swelled and decaying.
Zoro isn't breathing, just sitting there like a statue. And the voice comes back.
He's sinking.
A hand comes up much like a snake from the water. It's not Zoro's hand as it grabs the unresponsive man by his hair. And slowly, it drags Zoro down into the water.
He's dead.
Usopp screams. It's so loud that his head instantly tremors. And what follows after makes his whole body ratchet. He hits the deck from the top of the crow's nest so hard, that he not only bounces up but the wood breaks too. And damn it hurts.
In his bleary vision, a newly alive Zoro slides down the crow's nest. "Usopp, what the hell is wrong with you?" Nonetheless, he crouches beside his friend and asks "are you okay? Why'd you scream?"
The pain in his body slowly goes down, but he groans in emotional pain. Zoro was dead.
He's dead.
Usopp blinks. When he opens his eyes again, the entire crew is around him. He blinks again, Chopper is checking his heart rate.
"It's slow," the doctor frets.
He blinks again. Luffy is over him, that concerned look on his face. "What do you feel?"
He's sinking. He's hurting her. He's out there.
Usopp groans as he looks around. Zoro's bloated face. The child in Brook's place. The tiredness in Nami's eyes. "Everything, love."
He blinks for a millisecond and Jinbe is laying him in the infirmary bed. When he blinks again, nothing comes after that. Just darkness and that voice. That fucking voice is back as he slips into whatever nap the crash forced upon him.
Nothing is okay.
He groans when he wakes up and the first words out of his mouth are "What day is it?"
A shadow comes forward and he tenses slightly. "It's today. You've only been out for twenty minutes." Usopp calms himself. It's Luffy. The sniper slowly sits up with caution and stares at his boyfriend. The captain is staring back, his brows hardened and his face stubborn.
"What's wrong?"
He's sinking.
"Why do you do that?"
Usopp sits up fully now. What he can comprehend is that Luffy is angry with him and Zoro is possibly in danger. What he can't comprehend is how. "Do what? Where's Zoro?"
Luffy crosses his arms. "Why do you say everything's okay when I want to know what's wrong with you? Why aren't you telling me things like you usually do?"
Usopp frowns. Luffy being angry is the absolute worst thing in the world. Because he isn't actually angry, he's just disappointed. And he won't tell you he's disappointed at all. Not until someone admits why he should be. And Usopp really hates when Luffy is angry at him specifically. Because for Luffy, the sniper could do no wrong in his eyes. Usopp was a literal angel when Luffy talked about and looked to him. So now he feels bad because everything is as horrible as it could be. He's seeing and hearing things and it's affecting his health and his trust. He can feel everything around him. But he doesn't know how to tell Luffy this. He doesn't know how to tell him that Blackbeard hurt Nami, that Zoro drowned, how Brook isn't Brook or the worst things that'll come to the rest of the crew.
He's crazy. He has to be. No one can see or hear the things he can. But it's real.
"Usopp, just tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong."
Liar.
His eyes tear up when Luffy crouches on the floor before him. "Usopp," he urges. It's the only thing Monkey D. Luffy ever has to say and Usopp turns to mush. He tells all his secrets and all his fears even when they make him look weak and stupid.
They stare at each other and he frowns. "I'm scared," he admits in a whisper. Like the voice in his head is going to hear him.
And Luffy whispers back as softly, pushing some of the dark curls away from his tears. "Scared of what? Is it a dream? Are you thinking too much? Is it Elbaf?"
The name Elbaf sends a small tremor through his body and everything bad comes to mind like a warning flare. Every possible horrible thing he could ever imagine comes to mind as he envisions Elbaf and the Thousand Sunny docking at the Kingdom. Death, despair, blood, death, death, death.
Yes. yes. Yes.
Usopp shocks his head while staring his captain in the eyes. "No, no, no," he whispers. The tears are falling in rapid succession, but he can't blink. He can't close his eyes. He doesn't want to. It'll all disappear.
In response, Luffy grabs both sides of his face to stop the shaking. "No what?"
"No."
Yes.
Sanji being dragged away. Nami and Blackbeard. Robin being executed. Franky becoming a war machine. Brook afraid. Chopper lost. Jinbe tied down. Zoro sinking. Blood blood blood all over Luffy as a woman impales him in the chest.
"No!" the sniper screams and immediately throws his arms around Luffy's neck, nearly strangling the man as he hugs him close. Both their bodies rack as Usopp cries and Luffy holds him just as tight. "Don't leave me!"
"Usop-"
"Please. Don't go anywhere. Stay here. I can't lose you of all people. I can't."
"You won't."
"Not you. Not Luffy."
"I'm not leaving."
"I can't lose you."
And despite Luffy's reassurance and pleas, Usopp never lets go and he never stops begging and he never stops crying. Not even when he falls asleep. Because the voice never stops telling him.
Yes. Luffy's gone. Yes. Luffy left. Yes. Luffy's lost. Yes yes yes.
Like a horror movie it plays again in his mind as if somehow, his brain was unwilling to let the images go. He knows the more he tries to suppress it the more it plays again, but the voice won't let it go. Luffy was dying. Being impaled in the chest over and over and over again.
"No," Usopp whispers in his sleep.
Next stop: Elbaf and the incident. Which will be another long chapter. I wanted this to be a oneshot, but I feel bad for having you guys wait. It'll just take longer because I want my stories to be interesting for you. Anyway, let me get to it. More Lusopp on the way because they're so cute.
