*Set immediately after the events of the last book*
Saturday October 15th
My bed
9.00am
For once I am completely and utterly alone in my bed; Mutti herded Libby and the toy gang out last night as a treat for me being utterly fabulous as Merc-lurk-io in the school play, despite the undead, dead bit after Dave screwed up with the lights.
I'd normally jump head first into a lie in right about now, but who has time for that when you are in fact the official girlfriend of Dave the Tart?
You know when your heart does that little jelloid jumpy excited thing? Well I had that right now just thinking about last night. There I was thinking that Dave had dumped nicey nicey Emma and gone off with a secret girlfriend like a cad, but the secret girlfriend turned out to be none other than moi! I am le amie secrete of the first water.
I went to sleep last night feeling like I was floating on a cloud, well, not literally on an actually cloud because I'd have bugs flying up my nose and my hair would be all gigantic from the wind. I'd best just describe it as a fog of nib libbling anticipation for Saturday, which is when we're going out on our very first official date.
He won't tell me where we're going which had made me really nervous and jumpy. He hasn't even considered how much stress I am going to have when it comes to deciding on what outfit I'm going to wear! I mean, should I dress up? But if he took me to the park or something like that then I'd just end up looking like a twat in boy entrancers. I'd never once been nervous with Dave before, but then again, I'd never been his official girlfriend before.
Unless you count the time Red Herring incident...
Five minutes later
Before I could agonise over outfits any more that I already had, vati shouted up the stairs,
"Georgia, somebody's on the phone for you!"
Well, of course my immediate reaction was to hastily scramble out of bed in case it was Dave. On my way I tripped over Angus and Gordy who had set up camp on the bottom step of the stairs, you know, just casually licking each other's bum-oleys like my snogging life wasn't at stake.
When I got to the phone at last I had to quickly apply my phone lip gloss, which I kept on top of the hall mirror for occasions such as this.
"Gee," Jas said from the other end of the phone.
"Oh it's you," I said, disappointed times a thousand.
"Well you're nice aren't you; I am only your bestie after all."
"Stop getting the hump; if you carry on I'll just have to tell someone else about what happened with Dave last night after Rom and Jule."
"Oh come on Gee, you know I was only joking!" She said this in a sort of whiney way that made me believe that I was actually talking to a little weasel.
"Well you'll never know now will you?" I said. I slammed the phone down and started to walk back up the stairs, intending to develop my plan of action for next weekend, when the phone rang again.
"Hello," I said, my voice full of hope, only to find out that it was Jas again.
"I'll give you all of the black midget gems the next time I see you!" Jas pleaded.
"It's a deal my little pally pal."
"So…"
"So?"
"Are you gonna tell me or what?"
"Oh lets see…nope!"
"Gee!"
"Ok, ok, listen, I'll tell you today in town. Call an emergency Ace Gang meeting now."
"Oh, like today? Because Tom was telling me about thid badger he saw in the woods earlier on…we were gonna go and check it out."
"Jas, how selfish can you be? This meeting is vital; I might not survive if I'm to keep this news to myself."
After a while, Jas had to go and call Tom and re-arrange their ramble in the park for another day, I kindly offered to bring her some of Angus' poo so she wouldn't miss the badger poo too much but she didn't find it very funny. It made me laugh like a drain though.
12:00pm
Ok, so for the Ace Gang meeting today I was thinking of wearing my ankle boots, tights, dark blue denim shorts and my glittery top that makes my nungas look a little bit smaller than they are.
When I came down the stairs Uncle Eddie was sat in the living room and after looking at me turned to vati and said,
"Blimey Bob, do you usually let Georgia out without any clothes on?"
And of course my dad had to send me back upstairs to put some 'proper trousers' on, whatever that means. It's not like my legs weren't covered though! I was wearing tights! But I was told that I looked like a prostitute and was to never wear those 'flaming shorts' again.
Back in my room.
I am now wearing my black skinny jeans with my shorts craftily concealed underneath them. I've swapped my bag for mum's Black Radley bag instead, because it's quite big so I can just shove my pants in there when I'm out of sight of the house.
Five minutes later.
When I did eventually leave the house, Mark big gob was outside with his loser mates, including James from across the road, his trousers were still around his ankles. When he saw me come out of the house he said,
"Oi, Georgia, show us your nungas."
"Yeh, show us your nungas," James echoed, seeming really pleased with himself.
"Sure mark," I said, giving him my best sticky eye, "Let me just call my boyfriend Dave to ask him if it's ok."
"Oi oi, let's not be too hasty now love."
I'd have to ask Dave what he really did to that twat, I already know that he'd beat him up after he tried number 10 on me, but apparently Mark was still terrified of him. I suppose it's just another reason why Dave's so amazing, making Mark big gob leave me alone.
Wait a minute; if Dave heard me say that he was out loud then he'd never let me live it down, unless he's already heard me think it because he has somehow learnt how to read my mind. But that can't be possible, can it? I'll just have to act aloof the next time I see him to be sure that he can't.
While I was thinking about the possibility of Dave the Mind Reader, I reached the park so I started to make my way go to the toilets where I'd planned to take off my pants. Well, you know how plans go right? Because when I got to the stalls every cubicle had an 'out of order' sign taped to the door so I couldn't take my pants off.
It would probably have been a sensible idea to just take them off when I got into town, but I didn't want to look like a prat in front of the ace gang, plus, for October it was a really warm day and trousers, tights and shorts make really uncomfortable combination. Spotting a bush near to the toilets, I ducked behind and started to quickly undo my jeans so no one would see.
Not a time for my trousers to fall down when Masimo suddenly walked around the corner and saw me crouching behind the bush with my pants around my ankles.
