New story! I'd like to introduce You're My Guardian Angel? to you. I'm apparently an 'emo' as well according to some of my friends which is annoying as I don't think I am ¬¬ But I had to sum up the essence of being an emo for Sasuke in this story. I take suicide stories really seriously and I guess there must be some depressed part of me if I keep coming up with new ideas for them ¬¬ a scary thought really :S. But anyway, I would just like to point out that this is different to my Love, Cuts and Lyrics story which also contains suicidal references and I don't want you to think I'm generalising it. Not at all.
I hope you enjoy this story. I have written the full summary here as I couldn't fit everything I wanted to write in the space give (it's just not enough!) so I hope you read and enjoy:)
'Sasuke hates his life and desperately wanted it to end, after THAT incident, he finally attempts suicide. However, the Heavens knew that Sasuke still had that element of good in him – he had the ability to make a difference in the world so the Heavens gave him one last chance. After being saved and sent back to live on the earth, to make sure he gets this time right, Sasuke was given a Guardian Angel to watch over him. However, what if he started to fall in love with them? What if his Guardian Angel was a guy[SasuNaru...'
I also promised to dedicate this story to a friend of mine with a pink box as she helped me with one of my poems so this is in dedication to her.
You're my Guardian Angel?
I sound so pathetic now that I don't think my voice is even reaching her anymore. I'm getting smaller and smaller and I matter less and less to her. I think even he cares more than her now. Why did this happen? What can I do? What was once perfect is now beyond repair and I feel so useless that I can't even begin to fuse the pieces back together. Abandoned by the ones who I am bonded to by blood and stuck with those who drive me insane. What do I do? What do I do? All cries and pleas are ignored but if I don't write it down I'll scream – there is no other way. Why should I bother trying to fix it anymore – the hope has gone, the faith has vanished and I'm left in an empty despair that stretches across vast like the ocean. What was once perfect is now dead and what's dead cannot come back to life.
The beeping alarm clock sounded again and again; Sasuke laid there awake and annoyed in his bed, surrounded by darkness. He smashed the clock with his fist and it stopped beeping instantly; however it also got crushed by the sheer force of the impact. Sasuke sighed and looked to see the time displayed before the lights blinked away and died; 6:30. Who the hell set his alarm to 6:30?
He wrenched the covers from him and reached under his bed for his journal – his therapist at the school told him he had to write one, though Sasuke kept another secret hidden one as well to write his true feelings – no one could help him at all. He allowed himself to wallow in his own pity – it was much easier that way. If no one could help him, then why let them try? To have his hope dashed? He knew it sounded apparently 'emo' but he didn't care. Stereotypes meant nothing to him; therapy meant nothing to him; existence meant nothing to him. What did he care?
The dark haired individual flicked through the pages of the filled fictional journal of his feelings and wrote down that he was in a bad mood because of the time in the morning, indicating that he was not a morning person. His obsidian eyes looked to the real journal gently turning the pages; it was jet black with the words 'Death Note' written scruffily on the cover in white – something he bought himself having passed an anime convention not long ago on his way home. The book had hundreds of pages and it was fairly large in size. He sometimes wished the properties of the book were real so he could get away from where he was and start afresh. He turned to a crisp new page and wrote the date in the top corner 13/11/07. He then proceeded to write about how he was feeling; he doodled in the corner a picture of him cutting himself and looked to the scars that were on his arms – they were covered in cuts of various lengths. As well as writing, drawing was a favourite way of his self-expression as well as self harm – he added Sakura in to the picture as well; yelling at him for what he had been doing.
Sakura was his girlfriend. She was the most beautiful girl that he knew; luscious long pink hair, a girly sweet exterior with an interior as hard as diamonds. She was bubbly and shy, loud and quiet, joyous and angry. Sasuke felt that he could honestly say that he loved her – they were friends for some time before they started going out. She was shorter than him, which he liked in his girlfriends and was also in to the same sorts of music as him; AFI, Lostprophets, Three Days Grace and various other bands – the so called 'emo' music, as well as various other hobbies. She wasn't much of an artist with drawing but she had a beautiful singing voice – he even recorded her singing some of the songs he knew and stored them on his computer. She was the only thing that he liked about school – her and his two friends Gaara and Neji. Gaara was a tough nut; short scruffy red hair, a stare that could burn you and he was tough inside and out. He was feared by all of the school, even Sasuke sometimes felt it too; the chilling burn of the Gaara stare. It was so much better having him on his side than against him. Neji was also a good ally – rich with a famous family, he rejected the image expectation that his relatives gave him and became friends with the three of them instantly as soon as he had transferred to their school. He hid his heritage for several months before they found out who he was and it didn't change anything. He had long brown hair, almost white eyes and pale skin similar to Sasuke's; he had pierced ears and a tattoo on his head that his parents hated, covered by a headband that he liked to wear.
They were the four at school that everyone feared.
It wasn't long before Gaara and Neji were also on the page with Sakura; all pointing at him for being an idiot. He shuddered slightly as he drew Gaara's eyes on the picture – even though it was only a drawing, he felt that the paper him was to burn at any moment.
He finished his doodle and shut the book, returning it to its hiding place; the day was not over and he needed to leave space to complain about later goings on. He walked downstairs and in to the kitchen – it was dark and empty so he helped himself to some milk and a piece of toast without hassle before he walked back upstairs to get ready for the hellish nightmare that was school. He finished his toast and walked in to the bathroom – he stared at himself in the mirror; his skin was flawless porcelain – as pale as ever – and there were dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep. He wondered how Gaara could cope without sleeping, being an insomniac. He yawned in the mirror showing off his perfect pearly white teeth and stretched. He started playing with his hair, trying to see if he could be bothered to style it. His hair naturally fell in to place in some weird stuck up mess which he kind of liked – and Sakura very much liked – and so he just ran his fingers through it to shake it up slightly. He cleaned his teeth and washed his face and left the bathroom. He walked in to his own room to find Tasha in there.
"Tasha, get the hell out of my room!"
"Only in to see if you were up".
"By going through my stuff! Get out you stupid little tiny bitch! Get out now!"
"Fine, I'm telling Kilika", she whined, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
"Fine, go tell her, see if I care", Sasuke finished, pushing the smaller girl out of his room, slamming the door and locking it. He got changed in to a baggy black AFI t-shirt and a pair of black trousers, chains dangling from the belt. He then put on some socks and his Vans and found his favourite black jacket.
"Stupid little bitch, who does she think she is?" he muttered to himself. Sasuke did a lot of muttering about the people he lived with. Sasuke lived with neither his mum nor dad – he lived with his foster mother Kilika and his three half siblings and his newest step relative. Tasha was the youngest of the lot and was forever going through his stuff, spying for his foster parent. Sasuke hated her; Tasha was easily manipulated to do her work. Kilika had been his foster parent for some time now and she despised Sasuke. She was rather tall, slightly overweight, with short unkempt brown hair and matching muddy emotionless eyes. She put on a lovely persona to his other siblings but hated Sasuke because he was who he was – well that was the only rational explanation he had for her disgust at the sight of him. She would make catty remarks about him and his friends, deny him the items he needed and would sometimes even lock him out of the house for no reason. She disliked him since he first came to live with her a year ago.
His other siblings were also annoying – there was Rikako; a tall, dark haired fifteen year old with blue eyes and a plain personality. He enjoyed keeping to himself, which Sasuke loved about him, and was a gamer. His room was a den of games, DVDs, CDs and gaming magazines. He had his own computer bought for him by his dad a long time ago which he cherished. He was the sibling that Sasuke got on with most as they shared similar music interests and was the only one Sasuke would willingly talk to.
Then it was Eleanora; she had long dark hair, black with similar blue eyes to Rikako. She had slightly tanned skin; she was voluptuous and a happy individual. She did a lot of extra-curricular activities at school, such as dancing and cheerleading. She was very popular and many guys envied Sasuke for living with her, especially as because they looked almost nothing alike even if they were related. She was thirteen, an annoying age for anybody, and constantly argued with Sasuke because his unpopular nature would affect her. Although they were always arguing, in a rare situation where they were getting along, Sasuke felt very strongly about standing up for her and she would do the same.
Then there was Tasha; she was the youngest at eleven. She was small, blonde with green eyes and a hyper child, a sufferer of ADHD – Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. She liked to be friends with everyone and would always cry if anyone would shout at her. She was obsessed with fashion and looking as cute as she possibly could. She was also easily manipulated by Kilika to try and find anything about Sasuke that she could use against him and Tasha probably had no idea she was being used. If anything, Sasuke felt sorry for Tasha but it didn't stop him from yelling at the girl when she came in to annoy him. He could hear her sobbing outside his door. He sighed.
He opened it up and outside was Konohamaru; the newest step relative of Sasuke's, consoling Tasha. He glared at Sasuke as he opened the door.
"You didn't have to make her cry".
"She's a cry baby; she'll cry at anything. And anyway, you aren't going to start bossing me around, so don't even start lecturing me". Sasuke walked out of the room, locking it behind him, ignoring the evil looks that the younger boy was giving him.
Konohamaru was the same age as Tasha with short brown hair and darker eyes. Sasuke didn't know that much about him and wasn't going to bother finding out either. He would be leaving soon anyway. Sasuke walked down the stairs and picked up his school stuff which he dumped in the usual spot. He took it upstairs and in to his room to sort it out. He collected up his fake journal, stuffing it in to his bag and his real journal which he hid in an extra sewn pocket that Sakura had made for him so when the therapist was searching his bag, she wouldn't find anything of interest. He packed up some school books, not caring if they were the right ones – he only cared about three of his subjects; Art, English and Music. He only like music as it was a doss subject he could spend with Sakura and the other two he actually enjoyed. He would get top marks in them but was failing everything else. He had to see his therapist every day and spend an hour with her out of lesson time as it was unfair to eliminate his leisure time, mainly taking up the subjects which he hated. Sasuke was seen as capable enough to handle subjects such as maths and science but was seen as lazy and could not be bothered which was true in his case.
Sasuke made sure everything was in his bag before he left and locked up the room for the last time that morning. He walked down the stairs and saw Kilika making breakfast for Tasha who smiled and grinned. She turned and saw him, giving him a reproachful, ugly look which suited her personality.
"What's this I hear about you being nasty to Tasha?"
"Don't get her to do your bidding then", he replied emotionlessly. He walked past her, ignoring her glare and took some food out of the cupboard, stuffing it in his bag. He then left the kitchen and after picking up his black scarf, he left the house. Walking down to Gaara's house he came across Kiba. He looked at him and glared – Kiba glared back.
Kiba was one of those people you were drawn to with a personality that was massive and could fill a room. The scruffy haired brunette with red tattoos on his face was very popular at school with a big reputation for being a player. Apart from his love of animals, particularly dogs, Kiba seemed to show nobody any affection, treating people like shit on his shoe. As much as Kiba was popular, Sasuke hated his guts. Why should someone that cruel be so happy?
Sasuke walked past the boy who tried to trip him up. After almost being twisted to fall himself, Kiba walked on ignoring Sasuke. Sasuke continued on to Gaara's house. He rapped his knuckles on the door and waited for the red head to answer. After hearing the usual yell of "Come in already Uchiha!" he opened up and sat in the living room. Gaara lived with his older brother Kankuro, a purple painted faced puppet master who was very good at scaring the kids on Halloween. Apart from that, Kankuro remained an enigma for Sasuke with what he did for a living and how he managed to support him and his brother. They also used to live with their blonde haired, pretty yet aggressive sister Temari who had recently got married and moved in with her new husband. She stayed in touch and if she saw Sasuke in the street she would still go out of her way to talk to him and remained thankful for being Gaara's friend through all the rough periods of his life.
Kankuro hi-fived Sasuke who was unenthusiastic as always and started asking how he was. The conversation continued for another five minutes before Gaara grudgingly appeared in the living room and hinted he wanted to leave. Sasuke said goodbye and they left to go and meet up with Neji and Sakura, who lived on the other side of town, at school. They talked about everything but Gaara seemed distracted and uncomfortable about something. When Sasuke asked what it was he said there was nothing wrong but he knew Gaara long enough to know when something was up. Deciding to give it up so he didn't have to feel Gaara's glare on him for the rest of the day, he gave it up and started complaining about Kilika. Gaara knew everything about the woman and was repulsed by her. Even she was susceptible to his glare so she wouldn't dare say anything to him.
As they reached the school gates, they met up with Neji and Sakura who smiled at him. Sakura gave him a kiss on the lips and hugged him close. Gaara seemed to stare at Neji as though waiting for him to start a conversation – Neji gulped slightly and stammered a greeting. Sasuke knew how he felt; Neji wasn't completely used to Gaara in the morning, regardless of how long they had known each other. The bell sounded in the distance and Sasuke sighed. It meant tutor time. Sasuke said goodbye to Neji and Sakura who were in two separate tutor groups to him and Gaara. They walked off talking, almost seriously, and Gaara beckoned Sasuke to come and follow him. They didn't talk the entire journey to their tutor room. Sasuke knew something was up.
After separating to their separate desks, Sasuke watched his tutor as she read out the announcements; not really taking in anything she was saying. He stared in to space, not realising that he was indirectly doodling on a piece of paper in front of him. He looked down to see a drawing of Sakura blowing him a kiss and winking at him. He smiled a little staring at the doodle and sighed. He turned to Gaara who looked distracted. On seeing that Sasuke was looking at him, he mouthed, "I need to talk to you about something important".
"What?" Sasuke mouthed back.
Gaara was about to reply when the bell went.
Sasuke ran up to Gaara. "Can we talk about this at lunch?"
Gaara was about to protest but on seeing Sasuke's face, stopped and nodded. "Fine, I'll talk to you then". He then walked off to his lesson as Sasuke made off to his.
The day passed without any hassle until it came to lunch. Sasuke arrived late after being held back by his teacher for not paying attention in the debate the class were discussing and walked over to see that Neji and Gaara were arguing. Sakura looked on, silent, not doing much to stop it. Sasuke couldn't hear what they were arguing about and before he could get close enough, Gaara walked off. Sasuke walked on – Gaara walked straight in to him, glaring and then Sasuke saw his glare falter. He looked almost scared at Sasuke and continued on, walking away.
"What was that about guys? Do you think I should go after him? He said he wanted to talk to me about something important", Sasuke asked as he dumped his bags with the others and walked up to them.
"Leave him to cool off. We were trying to get him to open up about what was bugging him but he just got angry", Sakura said, "You know his personality and I think that the lack of sleep is getting to him again. You know how Gaara is".
"Fine, I'll speak to him later – though I really think I should go and talk to him".
"Yeah, listen to me baby, I know best. On another note, I can't come out tonight after school as I have to do some work for my mother – you know about that stupid whore and her lack of motherly affection".
"Yeah... I know how you feel".
"Oh Sasuke, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way", she hugged him close. Sasuke sighed deeply and closed his eyes, hugging her back. He thought about his mother and a shiver of repugnance travelled through his body. Sakura's mother was an alcoholic and she was forever looking after her. She hated it but she went along with it anyway as she felt it was her responsibility – after all, they were related. Sasuke wished he didn't adopt some similar viewpoint.
The rest of lunch passed on, Sasuke, Sakura and Neji getting away with having a quick cigarette at the back of the field where they hung out. Gaara, however, did not come back and Sasuke seemed a little anxious. He had never seen him yell at Neji like that nor had he seen him give him an almost scared look before. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and walked slowly to his therapy session. He clutched the fake journal in his hand and pushed open the door to Kurenai's office. He walked in, sat down on the chair and faced her. She had fluffy dark hair and dark red eyes; she was light skinned and rather tall with a slender build. She smiled softly at him as he sat down.
"So, Sasuke, how are you feeling? I see you have your journal. Are you taking care of it?"
He nodded in response and looked at her as he handed it over. She skimmed through the pages and saw the little illustrations he had drawn in there and skim read what he had written. She turned back to him and stared. Sasuke sat there uncomfortable as per usual – he didn't see the point in the therapy; all it did was make him feel inadequate and uncomfortable.
Kurenai looked like she wanted to ask some questions but then paused, chewing her lip. Every time she tried and failed before Sasuke asked her if she wanted to say something.
"Well, I was wondering, I really want you to start opening up on your feelings about your family. About your mother, father and older brother. I want to know how you feel, Sasuke – it's the whole point of the session. I can't help you if you don't tell me what you're feeling".
"We've been through this before – I know what's going on with everything and I don't want to talk about it. I hate it but there's nothing I can do, well who cares? No one does so what's the point? I don't care anymore, I've let it go and I don't need to talk about it anymore as it just brings up all of this anger and hatred that I'm trying to get rid of so please stop talking about it! Talk about school, talk about my friends, talk about anything except my god damn fucking family who can all burn in hell!" Sasuke glared at the floor that he seemed to be yelling at. He clenched his fists and stared at the floor angrily. He didn't want to direct his anger at Kurenai – he knew the woman at least meant well even if she was being paid for it.
"Well, that's the most you've ever said about your family Sasuke, so I think we have at least made a bit of progress. One step at a time Sasuke, just one tiny step and it can open up so many possibilities for you to you're your life back on track".
Kurenai filled the rest of the quota time by talking about what Sasuke had asked. She asked him about how his art and English were going. Sasuke sighed and showed her his work – she was very impressed.
"If it's okay, I would like to start an extra project with you using your amazing talents at writing and art. I want you to make a mood board; I think it would really help you. One for each emotion you feel when you think about your family. Before you say anything", Kurenai held up her hand as Sasuke was about to protest, "I'm not going to ask you to say anything – emotion in art and writing is different to emotion you show through your speech and body language. I think I know what your problem is with this whole situation is your afraid to say what you feel. Understandable by any means, and I think you would enjoy the project, putting your talents to the test. You can do it at home and here in the sessions so I can analyse how you work. It would be much better for you this way than talking it out in my opinion".
Sasuke stared at her, and smiled slightly to himself. At least she was willing to find an alternative method. He hated talking about himself – it ended badly for him. Art was a whole different method of expressing his opinion. He had lots of family photos at home to cut up, spray paints, felt tips, pastels, chalk, and acrylic paints; almost everything. He acquired it over a period of time through working for others – plus the allowance he got for being in school.
Kurenai smiled at the almost happy expression she saw on Sasuke's face – a kid like that needed a little spark of happiness. Sasuke looked thoughtful as though he was thinking of what to put on the boards; she started writing notes on him and jumped inside at finally making a breakthrough.
She rounded the session to the end by giving him a brief outline on colours and materials – "You can go wild!" Sasuke thanked Kurenai and left the school, twenty minutes after everyone else. It was lonely and cold, and through whatever happened earlier and the long wait, Gaara was not there to walk home with. Seemingly having no where else to go as he didn't want to go home, he walked in the direction of Neji's house; Sakura had to do stuff with her mum so going to see Neji would be fun. He always took the long route home as he didn't want to stay with Kilika for any longer than he had to – Gaara would willingly walk the long way with him to keep him company as he didn't like going home to an empty house when Kankuro was working.
Sasuke walked up the long gravel drive and knocked on the door. After several minutes waiting, forgetting every time he came round that he had to ring the doorbell instead, a servant answered. Sasuke said hello and made conversation with the servant who was nice enough to respond kindly to him. Sasuke put his stuff in the usual place by the entrance, in the cubby hole where they all dumped their stuff when visiting. He walked along the large open hallways – the décor of red and white with splashed of gold. Antiques lay beautifully on small white tables and portraits of the Hyuugas hung all around the walls – all with the same coloured eyes. Sasuke eventually tore his eyes away from the artwork and towards Neji's room. As he reached it, he could hear some strange noises from the room that he couldn't quite hear. He opened the door and there they were.
Sasuke gaped.
Neji was lying on his bed, tied up with handcuffs to the bed posts, completely naked with Sakura stood up facing him; neither sensing he was there – pure lust was driving the two together. She was in her bra and thong, a feather boa around her neck. She stripped off completely and slowly, teasing Neji who she knew was begging for it, watching him intently; throwing away the lingerie to the side and leisurely advanced to the Hyuuga. She carefully walked over, placing her hands around Neji's erect member and stroking it delicately. Neji shuddered in delight; Sakura licked her lips at him; she then brought her mouth down to Neji's member and licked it up and down gently, feeling the Hyuuga get more and more excited, she put the entire thing in her mouth and began gently massaging it with her tongue. Sakura was getting more turned on by the Hyuuga's reactions to her every touch – it was obvious she was in control. After several minutes, leaving the Hyuuga pleading her to continue, she climbed on top of him wearing nothing now but the feather boa around her shoulders; she leant down and started sucking on Neji's neck.
He moaned in response, closing his eyes and turning his head. She started grinding, moving and moaning in pleasure. Sasuke wanted to be sick but he couldn't move – he couldn't make a sound. He stood there, gazing, his face completely blank, so pale that he looked terminally ill.
Sakura moved from Neji's neck to his mouth, chewing his lip seductively and licking his lips before pushing her tongue in his mouth and tasting the Hyuuga who continued to moan louder and louder in to her own. Sasuke gagged but was still immobile. Sakura started thrusting more violently, giggling and calling Neji's name, screaming. Neji was panting heavily now, and tiny beads of sweat formed on Sakura's forehead and slipped down.
"Faster, Sakura!"
"You get what you're given Hyuuga boy", she called, panting.
He was there, unmoving for several minutes before Neji opened his eyes and saw him.
"Sasuke!"
He turned and ran out of the room.
- - - - -
Wow, first sex scene I have ever written so I apologise if it is absolute bollocks (no pun intended) and I have Lauren to thank for perverting my mind up this past year so thank you Lauren! ¬¬ :p
Reviews would be much appreciated and plus I love them! They make me so happy!
