The Chase

It was warm day in the Peach Creek cul-de-sac. The Eds and the kankers had been dating for approximately 3 years. It had been 3yrs since the incident with eddy's brother and after everybody went back home to go to sleep the Eds stayed up and went to the trailer park to thank the Kankers, and to do so took them out for a date at the arcade and they it was then that they realized how much they liked each other. The Eds were getting ready to go pick up theirs girlfriends the Kankers for a date tonight at the bowling alley, tonight was especially special for two reasons, 1. it was the 3 year anniversary of the Eds and the Kankers dating, 2. it was the longest night of the year. so it was Decided upon the Eds to take Double D's black 1967 ford Galaxie 500, 427ci, 4sp, because a very special occasion requires a very special car. Double D fired up that big block ford and the pulled out of his driveway to go pick up the Kankers.

They drove on until they reached the turn in for the trailer park, and the boys saw something that scarred them to death. May, Marie, and Lee were all standing outside when they were sucked into a metalic black '66 Lincoln continental. As it sped away, lighted by green headlights, Double D popped it into 2nd and popped the clutch and tore after them, he chased the car passed the Kanker's trailer and then they both drifted around the dirt road corner behind it. They drove down to the construction site and the continental jumped up a ramp made of dirt that was behind a fence leading back to the cul-de-sac and disappeared. The Eds were dumbstuck but nonetheless determined, Edd shifted int 3rd and took off after them up the ramp and jumped through a portal into the real world . The Eds couldn't believe what just happened, it was now that they realized that they were dealing with a being not of their world.

They chased the car all the way up the road, sliding around curves and Double D was matching every move the Lincoln made. That lincoln's 460ci was pullin strong but the Galaxie's 427 was bred for racing so the stood a good chance. But anybody could tell the Lincoln wasn't stock.

Inside the Lincoln the girls were scared to death. The inside of the car was lined with black leather and the windows were tinted so dark that they had a very hard time seeing out, it didn't help that it was dark out.

But the thing that scarred them the most was the driver, he looked like the crypt keeper, he was dressed in a tattered black tuxedo, he had long white hair on the sides of his head, and had no eyes. His bony figures gripped the steering wheel and his rotted foot pressed ever harder on that old Lincoln's gas pedal, threatening to leave the Eds in the dust. And he would have to, if they were driving any other vehicle. But no. they were driving the pride and joy of Detroit muscle at it's prime, and there was no way they were gonna let this creep get away.

The Kankers were excited about going on a date with their boyfriends tonight. They were standing outside patiently for the Eds when this Lincoln pulls up beside them and the back door opens and they get sucked in like a vacume cleaner.

Back with the Eds they were now headed onto a major highway and Double D was kicking himself now for not filling up the tank beforehand. He had planned to while they were on their way but that's not going to happen now is it? On this highway they would surely run out of gas considering it was already on E. But then Double D came up with a plan. Through the darkness he could see the lights of a tanker truck in the distance, and that meant fuel, possibly high octane fuel. Double D came up with a plan, if he could pull up next to it and keep it Ed could climb out and fill 'er up then they could have a chance of catching them. Double D said to Ed "we're low on gas but I have a plan. If you can climb out when I pull up next to this tanker you can fill up the tank and we could catch them." After putting it into deep thought(which is saying something for Ed) he responded with "I'll do it. For my sweet May and for buttered toast!" Double D shut off his lights and pulled up next to the tanker, Ed climbed out and got the nozzle and put it in the tank of the car, but what he didn't know was that the truck's tanker was outfitted with a warning light so that when you take the nozzle off its holder it go's off. The driver saw the light and saw the black car next to him and someone on the back of the car siphoning the gas out of his truck. And that pissed him off. He got on the CB and said "breaker breaker this is the prokchop comin at ya' I got some idiot tryin to steel me gas, over" someone responded with "well stop em" "10-4 goodbuddy im gonna put the hammer down and see how he likes that" Porkchop opened that Detroit diesel up and started pulling away from them, swerving. So as if Ed's job wasn't hard enough, now he had to balance on the trunk of a car as its speed climbed to the hundreds.

And that's not easy. Even for Ed's seemingly super human strength the wind pressure was pushing him around, coupled with the fact that Double D had to swerve to keep the nozzle from falling out or ripping off.

Porkchop pushed Double D to the left and made him drive in the grass, an almost threw Ed off the back due to the bumps, he thanked god that the nozzle spurted out fuel so quickly, he put it back on the rack and put the gas cap back on. Now he had to get back in the car. Easier said than done, especially when you have a pissed off truck driver to worry about. Double D slowed down to give Ed a chance to get back in but before he had a chance, Porkchop slammed on the brakes and locked up all 18. Which was a very stupid move. The truck jack-knifed and doin 90mph, ant it didn't turn out well for the driver. He flipped over and the tank busted and a spark from the tank ignited the fuel all the while with the Eds behind it, the sound of 3 adolsent males filled the air as Ed just barely got his head back in as a piece of shrapnel zinged right by the car, but out of pure against the odds luck the tank burtsed just right so the Eds could get through and they drove through the fire and the flames.

The Kankers watched the whole thing from the back seat and thought they had lost their Eds, and the sounds of manic laughter from the driver filled the car, but all of a sudden they saw headlights flick on, stopping the laughter. And there hope was restored of being rescued. The driver only went faster with this news.

"well I do believe my hunch was correct, there was high octane fuel in that tanker, I can feel the difference" Double D said as he shifted into 4th and buried the gas pedal. "I don't ever wanna do that again" said Ed as he buckled his seatbelt. "you did good lumpy" said Eddy from the passenger seat. They were gaining on the Lincoln doin 160mph when the Lincoln slammed on the brakes and turned off the highway, and Double D's followed him in check, they took a corner, Or drifted a corner rather, with Double Ds radial GT tires smoking and screaming for mercy. As the power slid around another corner something very strange occurred. A huge hole, a portal, straight to hell opened up on the ground and the Lincoln jumped in, followed suit by the Eds. They landed on a highway that looked like it was paved with the blood and souls of the damned that spiraled down a couple hundred feet and both cars held a perfect drift all the way down with the Lincoln leaving flaming tire marks. And Double D new there was something different about his car, firstly, any car that tried to hold a drift that long, the tires would have popped, but they didn't. They held strong. Secondly, he could just feel the raw horsepower as he dug his foot into the carpet. And the Eds felt different too, they felt more powerful. When both cars finally reached the bottom the Lincoln didn't slow a bit. And the Eds where momentarily stunned by the fact that they just drifted into hell. But were snapped back into reality when they started flying through the air over a lava pit. And when they landed, unlike physics tells us, the car didn't crumple. Because obviously they weren't playing by the rules of the real world. They were in hell, and they could only hope that they would make it out with their and their girlfriend's lives.

The hell driver launched his car over a river of suffering souls and boiling blood followed by, the Eds. They couldn't believe their eyes, they had to pinch themselves to make sure this wasn't just some horrible nightmare. It wasn't. The Eds followed the hell driver along a snaking and twisting road riddled with pot holes and bones, and the fact that Double D could keep it on the road was remarkable. It helped a lot that his car now had almost demonic powers. They drove up a very steep hill and shot out that terrible place of suffering like a bat out of hell. This brought them onto another long highway, and with this newfound horsepower from the Galaxie Ed was able to run right up beside the Lincoln from hell. Now the Eds came up with a plan, Ed and Eddy were going to hang out of the widows and try to bust the Lincoln's windows, and get the girls. So Double D pulled up next to the car and the boys began on busting the windows, it was now that Double D saw a sign that read "Road ends 1mile" "oh dear" he said. "Eddy Ed!" he shouted "what" they responded still trying to get into the continental. "the road is about to end!" "OH SHIT!" they replied in unision. With this new Ed punched right through the glass. "good job mono-brow" Eddy said.

When Ed Broke the Lincoln swerved trying to keep the Eds from getting the Kankers from the car. It was turning twilight out with the sun getting ready to rise so Ed and Eddy could at least see a little bit better on what they were trying to do. Double D was trading paint with the hell mobile trying to get Ed and Eddy close enough to grab the girls, Ed and Eddy poked their heads trough and said "grab my hand!" so the did and the Eds pulled them halfway out of the car when the Lincoln swerved away. Now they were hanging on for dear life as the road below them flew by, threatening to take them away if they touched it. Ed and Eddy with there new found strength pulled them up and into the back seat. Double D stopped the car and whipped it around so he was facing the Lincoln. They both sat there, engines reving, tires spinning and smoking. The sun was just about ready to rise now as they set off towards each other. Tires and engines screaming as they race towards each other, the two are just a mere 3 feet apart when the sun peaks over the horizon as the Lincoln from hell disappears in a cloud of black smoke.

Ed, Double D, Eddy, May, Marie, and Lee all pile out of Double D's car and look to see what happened. But all they can see are flaming tire tracks from that hellish 1966 Lincoln continental and a night they will never forget. Then the boys did something that made sure this day would be implanted in their minds forever. Double D got Ed and Eddy and whispered with a wink "aren't we forgetting something" and they all just looked at each other with a sense of know and Eddy said "how could we forget"

The boy then got in front of the Kankers on one knee and said in unison to their respectful girlfriends "will you marry me?"

The girls were overcome with joy. They shouted "YES!" and tackled their fiancé's. And the rest, is history.

The end.

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