It's a normal day. The sun shines, the birds sing, and the giant broccoli tree casts it's shadow across the city. Just a normal day in the life of one Kageyama Shigeko, otherwise known as Mob. She's Mob to her friends, Mob to her enemies, Mob to those who love her, and Mob so those she loves. She's hardly ever referred to as Shigeko and that's the way she likes it. Shigeko is not Mob. Shigeko is an entity of it's own. One who lives under Mob's skin just waiting to come out. To protect them. To get them what they want.
Today they're getting what they want.
They've been waiting for a long time, far too long. Life is short, life is fragile…
Master Reigen holding a gun, ready to kill for them.
Master Reigen dead if not for Serizawa's umbrella.
Life is short, life is fragile, and death lurked around every corner. She was not fragile. They were not fragile. Those that they loved were fragile. The world was made of glass. The people in it china dolls. Their skin painted pink, their eyes painted blue, brown, and green. They were china and paint and they could shatter at any time.
Master Reigen could shatter. She could lose him. She could lose him forever. She could lose him forever before she could tell him how she felt. Before she could show him how she felt. She's going to show him today. As soon as he's done with his last client. As soon as he sits down at his desk she'll tell him how she feels. She'll show him. It'll be just like she always pictured it.
Her mouth against his.
His hands reaching under her skirt.
Her legs wrapped around him.
Him telling her that he loves her for real.
Serizawa went home for the day so they'll have all the time in the world. The two of them here in this office, alone together. All alone. Mob and Shigeko are in agreement for once in their life, this is right. This is what they want. They're going to get what they want and it will be amazing.
Master Reigen comes out of the massage room. He's practically drenched in sweat. His face is flushed, his suit jacket is off, his tie is loose, and first two buttons of his shirt are undone. Her hands shake as she writes out the client's receipt. Does Master Reigen know how he looks? Does he know what he does to her?
He wants this too. She's seen the way he looks at her. She's seen the way his eyes linger on her when he thinks she's not paying attention. The way he'll find little ways to touch her. His hand on her waist, her back, tugging on her hair. The way he lets her rest her head on his chest, his lap. The way they'll even nap together on the office couch sometimes. Him being the big spoon and her the little spoon.
She lives for those moments when he's half asleep. He pulls her close, he buries his face in her hair, he's even forgotten who she was and let his hand run low, to her stomach, to between her breasts. It's a pity he's being more conscientious now. He woke up once, slowly, and for a few minutes he just laid there against her. Hard. She pushed herself into him. He pushed back. It had been so brief but so wonderful. He had woken up so fast that he shoved her off the couch.
Oh my fucking God! Mob! I'm so sorry!
He had gone to the bathroom and thrown up. He wouldn't look at her for the rest of the day. She looked at him, though. Mob and the other Shigeko did. They watched him closely. He wanted them as much as they wanted him. It wasn't just sex. They wanted to be one with him in all ways. Emotionally and physically. They wanted to spend their life with him.
They needed more than sex to nourish their relationship, but they did need sex.
They needed love, caring, understanding, devotion, and acceptance.
He saturated their soul with too much of one and not of the other.
They needed both, the physical and the emotional. They wanted to free themselves with on, on him, him within them. There was no need not to act on the way they felt. All of their drams, Mob's and Shigeko's and Reigen's could become reality.
The client left. Mob used her powers to lock the door.
"The knots in that guy's back…Mob, you wouldn't believe the knots in that guy's back. It was like trying to iron out tennis balls with my hands. Good posture Mob, always remember or you'll end up in his place." Said Reigen. Mob was staring at him, but that wasn't anything new.
"I wouldn't mind being in his place, Master." Said Mob holding eye contact with him. Usually there would be a war raging within her. Mob would tell Shigeko to hold back, to not make waves, to not risk what they had with Master Reigen. Well, today Mob and Shigeko were in agreement about something for once in their life.
"You want a backrub?" asked Reigen dryly. Mob could be so transparent sometimes. He knew the looks she gave him. He knew where her eyes lingered. He wasn't naïve. Mob was human the same as anyone else and she wanted the same things that every other human wanted. She just wanted them with him for some reason.
He knew the reason.
Because he saved her life. He saved her from becoming the worst sort of person, from becoming a monster. He saved her from Claw twice. Once from the 7th division and again from their leader. Well, he had tried to save her. He had pulled a gun on another human being to save her. In the end she saved him.
She saved him in every way a person could be saved. She saved him from becoming nothing. From becoming just another nobody. He had always wanted to be somebody and he was somebody in her eyes. He knew the sort of man he was in her eyes. He knew who he was and he knew who she wanted him to be. What she wanted him to be.
He knew what she wanted and he wanted to give it to her.
He wanted to take her in his arms, to kiss her, to hold her, to never let her go. To wake up next to her each morning. To fall asleep next to her each and every night. To bring her to the peak of ecstasy every night. To make her cry out his name until her voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper. To kiss her mouth, her breasts, lower until her thighs were wrapped around his head and he could taste every last part of her. To have her under him, to make her feel what he assumed nobody had ever made her feel before.
She was fifteen. He couldn't want this with someone her age. That would have been wrong.
He couldn't have this with her, not yet. She was too young. How could he take advantage of her like that? When she was older, when she was a grown woman, then he would tell her how he felt. Not now, though. He didn't' care what the age of consent was, he couldn't take advantage of her like that.
"I want to tell you something." Said Mob. She got up and walked over to his desk. He made no move to get up.
"Mob, don't." said Reigen. She couldn't confess this to him. She couldn't just come out and say this to him. Then they would finally have to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Maybe the elephant just wanted to be left alone?
"Master, you don't even know what I'm going to say." Said Mob. He probably assumed that she had something stupid to say, something childish. Well she didn't. She was sure. She was more sure of this than she had been of anything in her life.
"Mob, I know exactly what you're going to say." Said Reigen. She was going to say something stupid like 'I love you' and then he would have to either say it back or reject her. Both were terrible. If he rejected her then he lost her. If he said yes then he was taking advantage of her. Damned if he did, damned if he didn't.
"No you don't. Just let me say it, Master." Said Mob. He was always talking to her like she was a child. She was not a child anymore.
"Fine, but when you say it don't call me Master." Said Reigen. That would have just been too much. If she was going to confess then he did not need to be reminded of his relationship to her.
"What should I call you, then?" asked Mob. She had never been granted his given name or his family name. She had only been granted his title. Master.
"Just Reigen." Said Reigen. He wanted so badly to grant her his first name but he knew that would be a bad idea. He didn't need to pour water onto this grease fire.
"But you have no idea what I'm going to say." Said Mob. He couldn't have known.
"I think I have a pretty good idea." Said Reigen. He knew that this would be something along the lines of a love confession. She'd confess and then probably come onto her because he knows that as a fifteen year old she's stuck in a near constant state of physical desire.
"I love you." Said Mob quickly. She said it in one breath. She just needed to get it out.
"I knew that you were going to say that." Said Reigen. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. He had been wanting to hear her say those words, just not now. He wanted to say these words to her back, but not now.
"I love you, Reigen." Said Mob again. She needed him to say something, to say either yes or no. She needed him to understand. Why couldn't he understand?
"Mob, stop-" said Reigen. He prepared a spiel for her about how this was too soon, too much, and she needed to stop before she dig herself in any deeper. Before she dug them in any deeper.
"I love you Reigen Arataka and I know you love me too!" said Mob. He loved her too, he must have. She couldn't have been so clueless in those moments they shared together.
"Fine." Said Reigen. He gave up. Fine. She knew how he felt.
"What does that mean?" asked Mob. Fine could mean literally anything in that moment and she was still pretty bad at getting a clue anyway.
"It means that I acknowledge what you said." Said Reigen. She knew that truth. Fine. He could accept the fact that she knew. That didn't change what he had to say.
"But do you love me back?" asked Mob. Did he or didn't he? She needed to know. She would die if she didn't know.
"Mob, listen-" said Reigen. She needed to know that this wouldn't work between them. It wouldn't work until she was older. Old enough for the gap between them to not be a chasm.
"It's a yes or no question." Said Mob. She only needed one word from him. That was all she was asking. He dealt in words, they were his trade. A kind word here or there and he could have anyone eating out of the palm of his hand.
"No it's not, Mob. It's a big question." Said Reigen. This was the biggest thing that anyone had ever said to him. Nobody had ever said this to him before but why, oh God why, did it have to be Mob? Why couldn't she have just waited?
"How? Either you love me or you don't." said Mob. Her heart hurt, now, too. Was it breaking? Was this what heartbreak felt like?
"Mob…Shigeko…there is more than one kind of love." Said Reigen. He was going to tell her that he loved her like a good friend, it would have been a half truth, not a lie. He had promised never to lie to her again.
"I love you romantically and I want us to be a couple." Said Mob. There. Now there could be no mistaking what she wanted. She thought that this would reassure him but instead it seemed to make everything worse.
"Oh God…." Said Reigen. Air. He needed air. This was too much, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't get up, though, because Mob was right there and then he'd have to walk right by her and he didn't trust himself not to pull her into his arms and take it all back.
"Yes or no, that's all I need." said Mob holding back tears.
"When did you get so bossy? So forward?" asked Reigen. This had been a long time coming. She wasn't the same person as before. She had gotten stronger, more assertive, more sure of herself. Almost dying twice and then whatever had happened to her when she fought Mogami had done that to her. His fault. He had done that to her. Didn't she see that he was bad for her?
"The other Shigeko and I agree that this is the right thing to do. She's influencing me right now. She's not as nice as I am." Said Mob. That was why she was being so pushy, because the other Shigeko was pushing her to be pushy.
"Yeah, I can see that…." Said Reigen. He knew that other part of Mob, the part she called the other Shigeko. He knew that was the part of her that dealt with feelings, strong ones, and desires. That was the part of her that was incapable of rational thought.
"Why won't you answer the question?" asked Mob. He was deflecting. Words were his power and she wouldn't let him deflect and deflect until she forgot what she had even set out to do. If she could face down Claw then she could face down this conversation.
"Because I need a minute." Said Reigen. This was too fast. He needed a minute to breath, to think, to get himself sorted out.
"Why?" asked Mob. It was a simple question, either yes or no. When Teru had asked her to be his girlfriend she had given him a no immediately because she didn't have those feelings for him. Master Reigen obviously had those feelings for her so why didn't he just say yes?
"Because I'm fucked either way!" said Reigen. How willfully blind could she be? She was fifteen! He couldn't be with her no matter how much he wanted to.
"How? Why are you being like this? If you don't feel the same way-" said Mob. How could she have misread the atmosphere so badly? How could she have made such an idiot out of herself?
"I do. I feel the same way." Said Reigen. For a moment it felt like time stopped for both of them. That moment was broken when Mob leaned over and kissed him as hard as she could. She held it for a moment. He kissed her back, too, briefly. Too briefly. He leaned back, away from her.
"What's wrong? You feel the same way! If you feel the same then what's wrong?!" asked Mob, her voice cracking at the end. She felt like he was pulling her inside out with a rusty fork. She didn't know that he was capable of making her feel this way.
"Mob…listen…this is wrong." Said Reigen trying to stay calm. He wanted this as badly as she did but he knew that it was his responsibility to put the breaks on this before they went careening off a cliff.
"Why? How can it be wrong if we both feel the same way?!" said Mob. Her hair was acting up. The other Shigeko was lashing out. Maybe she herself was lashing out. This hurt. This hurt so much…how could anything hurt this much!?
"Because I'm twenty nine years old and you're fifteen!" said Reigen standing at his full height. The desk between them shook.
"It's not illegal." Said Mob. She had googled and the age of consent in Seasoning City was fourteen. She was fifteen. There was nothing illegal about this.
"It's immoral." Said Reigen. Society didn't think highly of men pushing thirty who slept with teenage girls still in middle school.
"To who?" asked Mob. Who's business was this? Who was arrogant enough to think that they could tell others who to love and how to love?
"To me." Said Reigen. He couldn't' be with her like that. He couldn't take advantage of her like that. This was Mob.
"So you want us both to live in misery?" asked Mob. That was what it would be. She had been without him thrice in her lifetime and those had been the worst times in her life. There was the time before she met him where she had to control her powers on her own, when her parents looked at her like she was a monster. The next time had been the six months she had spent being tortured in Mogami's mind world. She had been without him, left alone to all the tortures that Mogami could conceive. It wasn't Dimple that pulled her away from the edge but him. It had always been him. The third time had been that awful two weeks when they had gone their separate ways.
"Don't be so dramatic." Said Reigen balling his hands into fists. He knew full well that he would be miserable without her but she didn't need to go off and say it like that.
"I'm miserable without you. I was miserable when we went our separate ways and so were you." Said Mob. That had been the worst two weeks of her life. She thought that she wanted some space from him. He had said terrible things to her, things that he couldn't take back or talk his way out of. She had been so angry in the moment but after watching him rise and fall she realized that she did truly love him and no matter what happened she would be there for him.
"That was the, this is now. Mob, if we….Mob you're too young." Said Reigen. Someone had to be the adult there and obviously it had to be the actual adult.
"It's not against the law." Said Mob. What else was he worried about? How could it be wrong if they both felt the same? The law certainly didn't see anything wrong with it.
"I don't care. I won't take advantage of you like this." Said Reigen. Who cared about the law? The only thing that mattered was the court of public opinion and the court of public opinion would see him hanged for loving a fifteen year old girl.
"How is it taking advantage of me if I want it? If we both want this?" asked Mob. She was asking him to be with her. He wasn't the one doing the asking.
"Because I'm an adult and you're a child." Said Reigen. She needed to understand this, to understand why neither of them could get what they wanted.
"Look at me?! Do I look like a child to you?!" said Mob grabbing at her clothes. She may not have had a big bouncy chest or hips that were twice as wide as her waist but she was not a little girl anymore.
"You'll always be a child to me, Mob." Said Reigen. No. She didn't look like a child. She didn't look like a grown woman, either, standing there in her T-shirt with the kittens on it and her pink skirt. She looked fifteen and he hated himself for wanting her.
"Stop…don't say that to me…" said Mob. She wasn't the same eleven year old that had come through his door all those years ago. She had fought for him. She had put her life on the line for him. Did he think that was nothing?
"It doesn't matter what I want. It doesn't matter how badly I want to be with you. We can't Mob, not yet." Said Reigen
"Why? Who are we hurting?" asked Mob. Who could they hurt by being in love? What could be bad about love?
"You. I would be hurting you." Said Reigen. Couldn't she see that? Couldn't she see that she was too young, that she still had so much of her life to live? That if she had a twenty nine year old boyfriend everyone would think that she was weird. No, they'd think he was a weirdo and that he was taking advantage of her.
"I'm hurting right now!" said Mob. Her stomach felt like it was full of concrete. Her lungs felt like they were full of powdered glass. She wanted to lay down and die. How could he talk to her like this? How could he act like this?
"Mob-" said Reigen reaching a hand out to her. He pulled back when he felt a the energy around her shocking him like static electricity.
"I'm hurting right now and I don't have to be!" said Mob. She stomped her foot and the entire building shook around them.
"I know you're hurting…" said Reigen trying to stay calm. She was shaking, now. Her face was red. He could see the tears collecting in her eyes.
"How? How could you know how it feels?" asked Mob. Nobody had ever felt a pain like this one. This was worse than all the pain she had felt when she defeated Claw the last time. This was worse than absorbing the president's final light. It felt like she was going to die.
"Because I'm hurting right now, too." Said Reigen, his voice breaking. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. This was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.
"If we're both hurting then why can't we be together? I want you, you want me, and the law….it's not breaking any laws. It's simple. Just say yes. Just say that you'll be with me." Said Mob. Tears were falling freely from her eyes. She could see the little raindrops she was making on the new floor. The office had just been rebuilt and her tears were going to warp the brand new hardwood floors.
"When you're an adult…Mob when you're an adult…" said Reigen. He walked over and held her. Hurting. She was hurting. He never wanted to hold her. She still felt so small in his arms. She was so small and she needed him and he needed to be there to comfort her.
"But I want to be with you now." Said Mob as she buried her face in his button down. He smelled like sweat and incense.
"Shh, I know you do. I know. I want…I want this too….but we can't…just wait. Just wait until it's not weird…" said Reigen as she cried into his shirt. He hated to do this to her but he had to, for both of their own good.
"You don't. You're just telling me things to make me happy." Said Mob. He was doing it again. Like when she first met him and he pretended to have powers. She had forgiven him for that long ago. He had promised to never lie to her again. He made a promise.
"I'm telling you the truth, Mob. I love you…I love you so fucking much…but you're too young." Said Reigen. Mob broke apart from him.
"Fine." Said Mob wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. If he was going to be like that then fine. She wasn't a child anymore. She could handle this.
"Mob, what do you mean by fine?" asked Reigen. When a woman said something was fine then it most certainly was not fine. That went double for Mob. Mob never lied to him.
"I mean that I acknowledge what you said." Said Mob. Fine, if that was how he was going to be then it was fine. She took her feelings and stuffed them down. She needed to go outside, to get away before she made a bigger fool out of herself.
"Mob…Mob please talk to me." Said Reigen. Maybe he should have just said yes. Maybe he should have just said yes consequences be damned.
"Master, I'm sorry. I just…I have to go…I have to go now…" said Mob. She had made a complete and total idiot out of herself. She needed to go home or just out of this room.
"That's…that's a good idea. We'll just take the night to…get sorted…and then it'll be back to normal tomorrow. Ok? Mob, do you understand?" asked Reigen. He hadn't responded to that well. They both needed to sleep on this. They'd be back to normal in the morning. When she was an adult they could revisit this. Mob was mature and patient. After a good night's sleep she'd understand.
"…yes…I understand…" said Mob. She turned away from him and walked out the door. She waited until the door was closed behind her before she let herself cry. She walked down the stairs but couldn't make it past the outer door before she just couldn't go on. She sat down and let herself cry.
How could she have been so very stupid?
How could she have thought that he would ever love her?
How could she have ever thought that anyone could ever love her?
She drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head on her knees. She stayed like this for she didn't have any idea how long. She stayed like that until she felt what was left of the sun disappear suddenly. She lifted her head. There was an umbrella above her.
"Master Kageyama? What's wrong?" Oh. Serizawa.
"Nothing. Everything. Why are you here?" asked Mob. She knew that he had gone home a while ago. Why was he back?
"I was lonely and wanted to see if you two were still here. I thought that we could all get ramen. Master Kageyama, what's happening? Are we under attack again?" asked Serizawa. He had never seen her cry before, even when she had taken on the president's final light she hadn't cried. It must have been bad if she was this upset.
"Ramen. I would love to get ramen with you." Said Mob. She stood up quickly. She didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to be alone with herself and this awful feeling. Serizawa was a nice person. He'd make her feel better.
"But what about Master Reigen?" asked Serizawa. He wasn't good at this at all. She had been crying before but now she just seemed really hungry. They weren't under attack, if they were then she would have said so. He had no idea what he was supposed to do in this situation.
"I…I want to go and get ramen with you right now." Said Mob. She didn't want to go back up there to the scene of her humiliation and rejection. She'd come back tomorrow, or the next day, but she needed to get away right now.
"Sure! I'll pay, you seem sad. Do you want to talk about it?" asked Serizawa. Mob shook her head so fast her hair hit her in the face.
"No. I don't. I really don't." said Mob simply. They walked off towards the usual ramen place. Mob didn't look back. She couldn't look back. If she did she knew that her heart would break even worse than it already was.
She was stupid to think that anyone, let alone Master Reigen, could ever love her.
