A/N: In no way does this reflect my personal opinion of Batman. Also, I've never watched or read Rozen Maiden before. But it seems like an interesting series...expect more of it from me, along with other non-Higurashi stuff. Prepare for some 'Alive: The Final Evolution' fics and such coming your way!!
It was a marvelously beautiful day outside. The sun was shining brightly in the skies, the warm breeze was gently swaying the trees, dew was dripping off blades of grass, flowers were blooming with vibrant colors, and the birds were chirping sweet melodies. Plus, there wasn't a single dark cloud in the sky. It was truly a day worth living.
Suigintou hated all of it. Being stuck at the hospital where you have to take care of your slightly-spastic, slightly-ditzy medium was the pits.
"Why so serious?" asked Megu after she put on "The Joker" face paint.
"Take that stuff off!" Suigintou snapped, "We're not doing those goddamn awful Batman jokes again..."
As she cleaned off her face, Megu whined, "Oh, come on, Gin-chan! It's not like we have anything else to do! Let's just watch the Japanese dub of 'The Dark Knight' again! Sure, we've seen it 49 times already, but 50's the charm, as I always say!"
"No! No more Batman! I hate Batman! I am totally sick of that over-hyped muscular bastard Batman! He's a faggot! He should just go and kill himself! He's nothing compared to me! Nothing, I say!" exclaimed Suigintou. Megu reacted to these harsh words with a gasp of pure shock.
"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, GIN-CHAN! YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY THAT! BATMAN IS GREAT IN HIS OWN SPECIAL WAY!!" cried Megu. She grabbed Suigintou by the shoulders and shook the little puppet girl violently to make sure she understood.
"Well, I don't like him!"
"Why not?"
"I just don't!"
"C'mon, there has to be a reason!"
Suigintou broke out of Megu's grip and explained, "Listen to me! Why do you like that American hero so much? What has he ever done for you? Does he sit beside you every night and sing to you? Does he buy you food and make you tea whenever you ask? Does he kiss you on the forehead when you're sleep? Does he? What does he have that I don't?"
Megu was left speechless after Suigintou's sudden outburst. Poor Suigintou even looked like she was about to cry because she was so upset.
Reaching out to stroke Suigintou's long silver hair, Megu said, "Oh, Gin-chan, you silly little doll...I think you're taking things a bit too seriously. My love for Batman and my love for you are two completely different things entirely..."
Blinking a few times, Suigintou blushed and stammered, "...R-Really?"
Megu smiled and nodded. "Yes, really. I love Batman because he's a hero and a sexy muthafucker. I love you for you, Gin-chan...now come over here so I can rape you."
"Uh...I'd rather watch 'The Dark Knight' again." Suigintou quickly said.
Megu cursed under her breath. "Dammit. Are you sure you don't wanna get raped? It's fun..."
"No, it's not. Believe me...I've met rape victims. Hell, I used to be a sex offender, for crying out loud! Just ask Shinku about it..." Suigintou muttered.
Cursing again, Megu just gave in and put on 'The Dark Knight' for the 50th time. And, just like all 49 times before it, it was pretty damn good!
