Tag to 6x02, because it felt like it needed a hospital scene and some brotherly bonding. And I also found I enjoy writing Jay, Will, and Voight. Enjoy!
Jay doesn't remember exactly when he fell asleep, energy and adrenaline depleted, leaving only the heartbreak and pain during the ambulance ride. But he awakens as they are rolling the gurney into Chicago Med. His heart sinks a little more thinking about his dad's death here, it's been hours but it still feels instant.
"You're okay," Maggie reassures him, noticing he's woken up as she walks quickly beside the gurney. "We've going to get you all fixed up."
He gives her a weak smile and nods. He takes a couple of deep breaths, already feeling the pull in his chest. Everything is still moving around him except for the figure at the end of the hall. Will is standing still in all the bustle, Natalie at his side looking up at him before she glances in Jay's direction. He's frowning as he stares right at him and Jay feels a new wave of guilt of one more person being upset with him. They shift the gurney at Maggie's direction into a room and he loses sight of Will momentarily. This is not going to be good.
Choi is examining the X-Ray's when Will finally makes it into the doorway of the exam room, he's waiting for Choi to finish.
"Nothing's broken," Ethan says before placing his steoscope against Jay's chest. Jay shivers from the slight cold as Ethan moves it around listening. "Lungs still sound good. So I think we can rule out pulmonary contusion. Probably going to hurt like hell though, you doing okay right now?"
"Yeah, I mean it's uncomfortable but it isn't killing me yet. I can handle it." Jay answers. He feels small laying there, his chest exposed, an IV line in his wrist, blood pressure cuff around his arm, and a heart monitor lead attached to his finger. They've also helped him remove his jeans and only have him covered with a thin blanket. Will watching expressionless isn't helping.
"Okay, well I'm going to get them to up the dose of the pain medicine in your IV anyways before we get started cleaning up your side. I'll send you home with something a lot stronger because believe me you are definitely going to feel this pretty soon." Choi tells him, standing to leave and pulling the gurney rail back in place. "Give me just a few minutes.
"Will," Ethan greets. "I just went over your brother's X-ray, everything looks good. Vest took the hit on his chest and I'm going to get his side sewn up and he'll be good to go."
"That's great." Will answers remaining expressionless and staring directly at Jay.
"Hey, go easy on him. He's had a tough day." Choi tells him quietly patting him on the shoulder. They had gotten the call before Jay had been brought in about him being banned from the case and going rouge with the help of Kelly Sevuride. And being fine but shot twice. None of which amuses Will.
Will comes and sits on the stool Ethan had vacated, his arms propped up on the rail. Jay can still feel his eyes on him but refuses to look over. He doesn't want to face more disappointment and anger just yet.
"Look at me." Will says after a few seconds of silence. Jay bites down on the inside of his lip and takes a breath to steel himself before tilting his head up to his brother. "You want to explain this? Or maybe just what was going through your head?"
Jay just shrugs, he doesn't feel like answering Will. Doesn't have the strength back yet to argue with his brother. It wasn't his smartest move, he knew that, or at least figured that out when the bullet slammed into his chest and he wasn't sure if it went through. But he had to do something, had to make it right for his dad, but Will won't understand that. So he remains silent.
"I mean... Jay, do you get what it was like to get that call? After... after everything that has just happened?" Will's voice is raising slightly. "And don't you even dare try to defend what you did, because I know. I know you had direct orders to sit this one out and you went anyway! That guy shot you! He hit you with two bullets. Do you realize that you could have been killed?"
"Are you done?" Jay finally snaps quietly. He's had enough of being talked down to. Voight's words from earlier still sting.
"Hell no. Is that what you want, Jay? To get killed? Do you want to die to make yourself feel better?" Will stands, placing one hand on Jay's shoulder and the other across the deep bruise on his chest. Jay sucks in a breath from even the slightest pressure. "What about me, Jay? How do you think I feel? How do you think I would feel if you had gotten shot in the chest and died today?"
"So this is about you again? This was about dad." Jay bites back suddenly.
Will presses his hand down firmly into the bruise in the middle of his chest. Jay grips his hand to push him away but can't manage to move him without shifting around himself. "You're kidding me or yourself if you really think that. This was about you. You do this every single time things get rough. You would rather get yourself killed on a case than deal with anything. You don't care about anyone but yourself."
"Dr. Halstead, we need you across in room four." Sharon Goodwin appears suddenly in the doorway. There's a scolding tone to her voice. "Now."
The silence lingers for a second before Will removes his hand and walks briskly out of the room.
"You holding up okay?" Sharon asks quietly coming closer to the bedside.
Jay nods trying to force the lump in this throat back down.
"You're brother is concerned about your well being. He's hurt and scared too but he's going to need you and you're going to need him." She tells him.
Jay nods again but that's finally when the tears hit. He sits up stiffly keeping his hand on his torn side and doubles over trying to hide his face.
"No, no," Sharon whispers, she's quick with sliding the rail down and coming to sit beside him, she wraps her arms around his shaking body and pulls him close. "Easy Detective Halstead, you're both going to get through this."
He sobs quietly for awhile burying his face into her shoulder. His whole body is starting to ache and all he wants to do is sleep. He cries until his head starts to feel swimmy, until he starts choking on sobs, until the pain in his side and chest start to make him feel sick. All the while Sharon keeps her arms wrapped around him, gently rocking back and forth, rubbing his back, reminding him that he's okay.
There's a soft tap at the door and Sharon holds up her hand to give Jay a second to compose himself. He takes a couple of shaking breaths, pulling back some from Mrs. Goodwin and wipes clumsily at his face.
"Hey," Monique says quietly entering the room. "Dr. Choi had to go upstairs to the burn unit. So I'm going to get that side wound cleaned up for you, if that's okay?"
It takes Jay a second to clear his throat. He would rather it be one the nurses he was already more comfortable with, like Maggie or April, but all he can think about now is getting this over with. "Yeah, that's okay."
"I'll assist." Sharon offers helping Jay get settled back down.
Monique smiles warmly at him but it doesn't quite meet her eyes before she gets quickly to work.
Will returns just as they finish up. Jay is pretty sure he's been lurking somewhere nearby the whole time but doesn't say it aloud.
"All done." She says after carefully taping the bandage down on his belly and back. "Don't take this off for at least 24 hours, so no shower or anything like that for right now. You should be okay to change the bandage about this time tomorrow. I can go over that with you or..."
"I'll help him with that." Will inturputs quietly. The sharpness is gone from his voice leaving nothing but tiredness.
Monique looks between them. Neither one of them will look her in the eye or each other, they both just look down. "Okay, it may bleed a little at first, that's normal. But if it soaks completely through you may have pulled it loose, you can come back up here or we can send Dr. Halstead home with some supplies to close it back up. Also Dr. Choi wanted me to tell you that he would be glad to help with anything when you get home."
"Thank you, tell him thank you." Jay says quietly, finally looking up. He smiles at her but it feels forced and tired but he really does appreciate the offer. He knows it isn't just bandages that Ethan's offering to help with. She smiles back warmly at him and nods.
"Alright, well, Dr. Choi has already wrote up the prescriptions for pain medicine and an antibiotic. So we'll get those for you and get you discharged so you can go home and get some rest." She smiles again before leaving with Mrs. Goodwin following closely. He notices the way they both glance at Will but nobody says anything.
This time Will comes to sit but faces forward, his back mostly turned to Jay.
"I can call Kelly to take me home." Jay offers finally. He starts picking at a loose thread on the blanket. "He offered before they brought me here, I told him it was okay to go on home. But he said he wouldn't mind, I'm supposed to text him anyways and give him an update. He may actually be here checking on Stella."
He rambles for a few seconds since Will doesn't turn his head right away. When he finally does turn to face him, Will just shakes his head.
"No, Jay. I'm going to take you home."
"Okay." Jay responds not really sure what to say next.
Thankfully Monique comes back with the discharge papers just in time. Sharon Goodwin also returns with a vial and syringe.
"Give this to him." She says handing it over to Will and he pockets it in his coat without looking. She glances toward Jay. "Just for tonight. It'll help."
They haven't spoken on the ride to Jay's apartment. Even once they've settled inside. The first thing Jay does is head for the bathroom, he quickly pulls a knife out of his back pocket and cuts the hostial band free. The awkwardness sets in as Jay realizes he's not going to be able to get his jeans off without Will's help. He glances back and his brother is standing in the doorway watching silently. He doesn't wait to be asked though, just as soon as Jay has them unzipped, his brother comes to stand beside him and starts working them down so Jay doesn't haven't to bend down in any way. Next Will motions for him to sit on the closed toilet lid. He gets a wet rag and cleans Jay up as much as possible. Speckles of dried blood still linger around him in some spots.
"You'll probably be okay to start the antibiotic in the morning." Will begins after Jay has brushed his teeth. He had finally taken the vial out of his white coat pocket and studied it before drawing up a syringe. "So hip or arm?"
"Hip is fine." Jay answers, pushing his boxers down slightly. He braces his hands on the sink and shifts his weight to the opposite side. But he doesn't turn away instead watches as Will counts to two before sinking the needle into his flesh. He grunts a little from the initial pierce.
"Sorry." Will offers. He places a bandaid on the spot then pulls the waist of his boxers back up for him.
Jay stops himself from angrily telling his brother that he doesn't think he is sorry, not at all, that he's probably still mad and enjoying getting to hurt him again. Instead Jay bites his lip and swallows thickly. "What's in it?"
"Mepergran-Atropine." Will tells him. He's careful about capping syringe then tossing it in the trash. Taking time to busy himself so he doesn't have to look at his brother.
"Meaning?"
"Meperidine for pain, promethazine to make you sleep, and atropine for a muscle relaxer." Will explains. "Most people ask before I stick the needle in their butt."
Jay rolls his eyes. "Well I figure you aren't going to kill me yet, just wanted to see if it was something that was going to make me hurt any worse."
"Funny. Considering you're being a massive pain in the ass right now." Will responds. They stand there in a stare off for several seconds before Will finally takes Jay by the arm. "Come on, you need to lay down before it kicks in and you fall down."
Jay huffs but accepts the contact with Will, he can already feel the dullness working it's way through his body. The pain and stiffness had already set in and Jay isn't sure if the shot Will gave him has had time to kick in or if he's just simply exhausted but they have to shuffle slowly to Jay's bedroom. It takes him even a few minutes to sit carefully on the edge than drag his legs up in bed. As he's getting settled Will goes down the hall and comes back with an ice pack wrapped in a towel.
"Lay on your back and try to keep that on your chest. I'll try to change it in a few hours, it might help a little."
"You're mad at me still aren't you?" Jay asks as he accepts it.
Will sighs. "No Jay, I'm not mad. I'm upset because I was worried, there's a big difference. I don't want to talk about this anymore today and I really don't think you do either, so close your eyes because that shot is going to knock you out in a few minutes. I'm not mad, I love you, good night."
"Fine, love you too." Jay mumbles crossing one arm across his chest to hold the ice pack. Will walks back out into the hallway, leaving the door open and glances back. Jay is still staring after him with a frown but his eyes are already growing heavy. He keeps blinking trying to stay awake. Will just shakes his head and goes into the kitchen, it won't be long now.
There's a tap at the door nearly the second Will has finally sat down on the couch. He sighs before standing up and making his way to the door. It could be anybody dropping by to check on Jay or offer some condolences. When he opens the door without looking he can't really hide the surprise to find Hank Voight standing there.
"Sargent Voight." Will manges.
"Will." Hank greets, there's an odd glance around his eyes. Will isn't sure if he's still pissed at Jay or confused about something. "I wasn't sure you would be here."
Will sighs and thinks over his answer as he steps back and opens the door wider for Voight to come in. "I'm guessing you heard we had some words at the hospital. Truthfully, I'm kinda surprised to see you here too."
Voight shrugs. "I guess you also heard that me and him had some words."
"Yep." Will nods. "So at least that makes us on the same page right now. So what brings you by? Jay's asleep... or kind of sedated... I could try to wake him up if it's something important but he's probably going to be really out of it."
"Nah, I came by..." Voight pauses and sighs. "I know I was hard on him earlier but I went by Med to check on him and your fiancé told me that you two were pretty mad at each other when you left and I guess I was worried that he might be by himself tonight."
Will walks through the kitchen and pulls out two beers from the fridge, offering one to Voight and opening one for himself. "As much as I want to punch him in the face right now, we're the only family we have, so I guess I'm stuck with him."
"He needs you, Will." Voight says, there's a deepness to his statement. He takes a drink from his beer bottle and follows Will into the living room.
"I don't know what he needs." Will tells him. He sits on the couch as Voight takes a seat across from him in a chair. "I... I don't get it. I mean, kinda, but this has got to be the stupidest thing he's done. And I can't talk about it right now with him because I can't be reasonable with him."
Voight stares at him for a few seconds before nodding. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I'm still pretty pissed with him now myself. He had direct orders and disobeyed them. Scared the shit out of me, we pull up, and he's laying on the ground looking half dead and all that was going through my mind was how in the hell was I going to tell you that you're only living blood relative played cowboy and got killed?"
"That was the last thing I was expecting today." Will finally says after several seconds of silence. "Mrs. Goodwin pulls me off to the side and says we need to talk and you know how you can just see it in peoples eyes? It was there. She tells me Jay's alive and in good condition but had been shot and was coming in with multiple gsw's. And the first thing I do when I get alone with him is bitch him out."
There's a soft whine from down the hall, Will pauses listening out. He can make out the indistinct cries of Jay in his sleep. "Give me just a second."
Will gets up and quickly walks down the hall to his brother's bedroom. He hasn't woken up but he's panting and his face shows the pain. Will doesn't think he could be physically hurting right now, it's possible but unlikely given the medication.
"Easy Jay." Will hushes. He's careful as he approaches the bed, he's had a few punches thrown at him before by waking a sleeping Jay. Jay is completely out though, so Will gently stokes his forehead trying to force the bad dreams away. "Easy, settle down, you're okay."
It takes about a minute before he can see the frown start to erase its self from Jay's face and the soft babbling to completely settle. He takes a deep inhale and finally relaxes. Will can feel himself relax too. He gives it another minute to make sure Jay has calmed down before heading back out into the living room where Voight is.
"He okay?" Voight asks.
"Yeah, never woke up. Just bad dreams I guess." Will answers taking a hard swallow of his beer. "I took the easy way out tonight and sedated him so we wouldn't have to talk about it but clearly it's not a magic cure all."
Voight shrugs. "Kid probably needed the sleep. He's been going all out or hardly any."
"Tell me about it, I crashed here the night of the fire and he was up rambling around all night." Will says rolling his eyes. "Any other time I would think he was being good police but now I just think he was on a revenge spree."
"You're brother is good police, always has been. Couple of years ago when he joined Intelligence, he had gotten shot in the arm working an undercover, probably saved Gabbie Dawson's life. But he comes upstairs one afternoon, his arm in a sling, cocky as hell, I hadn't even given him a desk yet. But we caught a case so I figured I'd let him ride along, get a feel for my unit. Perp we were tracking feels us closing in, makes a break for it. Jay, he pops his sling off, jumps out of my truck and takes off after him. Didn't see them for probably a solid 10 minutes. Finally catch up to him, he's got him down, apparently tackled him. 'I got him, Sarge.' He's grinning like a cat. And I couldn't help but smile. I knew he was going to be damn good police." Voight smiles at the memory. "Barely eight seconds later, his face goes paper white and he drops. He had ripped every stitch in his shoulder clean out. Passed out from blood loss and adrenaline."
Will snorts. "Sounds about right."
"Kid comes to right before the ambulance comes to pick him up, I'm telling him how dumb I think he is, and he pauses and grins up at me 'But I got him, Sarge. My first arrest for you.' He's great police, kinda stupid in the head sometimes, but I want him to live to be an old man and tell his grandchildren about his days as a cop."
"Sometimes I don't think Jay thinks that far ahead. He's always like that now, maybe he's always been like that, but I think the war, and losing so many people, makes him think less ahead." Will says sadly looking down into his beer. The weight of the day pours honesty from him.
Voight downs the last bit of his beer. "In the morning, when he wakes up get him to sit down, fix a good breakfast and get him to eat. Then you tell him. Tell him to plan a future. Maybe it looks different now than it used but he's still got time to make one."
Will nods understandingly. Erin, the unspoken future Jay had wanted. Maybe he had leveled out when he had been with her and if he could do it once he can do it again, Will is just going to have to remind him.
"Thanks for the beer, Doc." Voight says, standing. "Guess I'll be on my way."
Will sees him out and locks the door behind him, he turns off the light in the living room before heading down the hall.
Jay stirs some in his sleep, he cracks his eyes open and sees Will standing in the doorway holding a beer.
"You're being creepy." Jay mumbles, his voice drags from his drug induced sleep.
Will smiles. "Just admiring how little trouble you can get into for the moment."
"Whatever." Jay says with a sigh. He does his best to slide over some and then sluggishly pats the space on the bed. "You can come lay down if you promise to stop staring at me."
Will eases gently into bed beside his brother. They've shared beds when they were kids or teens when random relatives would visit, but it's been years. It feels safe though, like home. Even if they don't have one anymore, even if they don't have parents, they have each other. Home.
"You're not staring but you're thinking." Jay mumbles after a few minutes, his eyes still closed.
"How can you tell that? You're basically asleep." Will says with a laugh.
"'cos I know... you."
"I guess I was just thinking maybe with your connections we could go see dad's apartment tomorrow, if you feel up to it." Will answers him finally.
Jay doesn't answer right away and Will wonders if he's fallen back asleep until he glances over and sees Jay biting his lip. He reaches out and rubs the back of Jay's hand.
"I think I'm going to want to." He says rolling his hand over and linking his and Will's fingers. "I gotta go back to sleep though. So you should too."
"Yeah," Will answers. "Let's get some sleep."
End!
Thank you all for reading!
Had a crazy few last couple of months and haven't taken much free time but thank you to every single person who reads, favs, comments, etc on my stories! It makes my days!
