All characters are 19

It was a day like any other, but then a celestial god flew from the sky and jacked off so hard that most of the population gained superpowers known as quirlks. The force from the celestial god's ejaculation caused everyone to become retarded. Some people didn't gain quirlks they were called fucking losers. Scientists studied these quirlks and found some didn't gain quirlks and dubbed them fucking losers.

Ezooku Mitordiya was born a fucking loser and mentally retarded, nothing to do with the Celestial God mind you. Ezooku was adopted by Jiggly and her black boyfriend, but his adopted father left them because he couldn't handle Jiiggly's Quirlk Stretchy-Tit-Strong.

There was a giant shark-chan on the loose terrorizing the town eating people dicks. On his shoulder was a snail yelling "SUCK ON MAH BALLS!" It was a really weird sight a giant shark eating peoples dicks off. Ezooku showed up eating a pancake that he pulled out of his pocket. People heard a crunch and turned around to see a kid pulled a pancake from his pocket and began eating it. Some Old fuck with stars on his head said: "Kid why is your pancake crunching?" The weird kid said, "E-Ezooku's recipe I put rock in it." The man ran out on to the battlefield for some reason while calling Ezooku retarded. Shark-chan came up behind the guy and bit his dick off. The guy held his newly formed vagina and screamed. Suddenly a wooden dick smashed shark-chan in the face. Everyone turned and saw a pantless guy standing on the rooftop with his wooden dick stretched out. Everyone yelled, "Look its Hardened Wood!" And then a stream of shit hit Shark-chan and Hardened Wood's dick. Everyone turned again and saw Shit Stream, The Dysentery Hero. Then out of nowhere, Shark-chan was fisted in the face by Fister Man the Fisting Hero. Then a giant naked lady showed and picked up the old star fuck from the ground and used him as a dildo against Shark-chan. The giant naked lady was none other than Queen Dildo who uses everyone as dildos.

Ezooku was confused but was fapping to it. Why weren't they using pancakes? Pancakes were superior to all weapons nothing could beat pancakes. The giant Shark-chan was arrested after being assaulted by a wooden diarrhea man dildo and fisted. No one noticed the snail had gotten away. Little did they know the snail would be the one to destroy the world. Ezooku then went home and fapped to pancake porn. After fapping to his pancakes he starts thinking back on his childhood.

Four-Year-Old Ezooku walked through his house in the dark eating a pancake. He walked into his parents' room and saw them doing the pancake shuffle. Ezooku was so traumatized he attempted to use a quirlk that he didn't have to kill his parents. But he didn't have one so he killed them with a rock and consumed the remains. He then ate the rock to get rid of the evidence. But people found out and sent him to therapy for five years

Nine-Year-Old Ezooku was walking down the street after getting out of therapy eating a pancake. Then he ran into some blonde motherfucker known as Bakagoo. Ezooku called out to his friend "BAKAGOOO WHERE YOUR PANCAKEY" Bakagoo turned to see that retarded kid from down the road chasing him with a rock. There was only one thing he could do now... RUN. *Insert RUN meme here*

Bakagoo started running from the retarded kid and he heard a re "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
Ezooku threw the rock and missed Bakagoo. Bakagoo flipped the retarded kid off and said " You missed me you fucking loser" "Ezooku wasn't aiming for you"
The rock hit some guy in the dick and bounced and hit some grandma in the face and killed her while she was walking in the park with her granddaughter. Cocktaco was the little girl who would become the Queef Queen in the future. Because of the death, Cocktaco unleashed her Quirlk: The Toxic Queef. Cocktaco Queefed super hard and floated to the moon. Anyways back to the Main Character THE ROCK HARD DICK JOHNSON.

The Rock ricochet and hit Bakagoo in the face. The Rock let out a battle cry " LEDLLEDLLEDLLEEEE" Bakagoo was passed out on the ground but Ezooku started slapping him with a pancake. Out of nowhere a Tentacle Nurse showed up and kidnapped Bakagoo. Ezooku watched Bakagoo get tentacle napped and walked home.

Back in the Present

Ezooku is getting ready to go to school he packed a pancake smg in his bag ready to shoot up the school or something. He walked through the street playing Pumped Up Pancaked on his pancake speaker.

PROLOGUE END
PANCAKEY WILL REEEEEEETURN