Sir Percy's Pen
Second Chapter: The Phantom's Whopper Woes
Now, normally, ordering a Whopper at your local Burger King is a snap, but in this case, the salesclerk didn't want the "snap" to be her neck! Reaching behind her for the French-fry scooper, she began to pound the Phantom over the head and neck. "Get off me, you freak!" she cried.
Christine, watching in dismay at the Phantom's overreaction to a simple greeting, steps in…
"Please excuse him. He doesn't get out much. And he's a little touchy about the Don Juan fiasco, so, cut him a break, will you? And, Phantom, PLEASE put her down!"
"Christine, it's just that I love Whoppers! Go – take her – forget all of this!"
Having readjusted her cap and fast-food restaurant logo emblazoned vest, the salesclerk tried once again to greet her customers (but all the while whispering to herself "Things like this never happen at Red Lobster!"
"One Whopper, coming right up. Would you like fries with that, or rings?"
"A RING? Did you say a RING? Christine, does EVERYONE have a ring except me? Why don't I have a ring? You got a ring from that 'not-good-enough-for-you-because-he-can't-appreciate-your-music' fop, but what do I get?"
Christine tries to calm him by explaining, "Look, Angel, it's not the one ring that rules them all. She's asking if you want ONION rings with your Whopper. Got it?"
Trying to keep from hyperventilating, the Phantom replies, "Fries, please."
Christine anticipated that if the salesclerk had any intension of asking the Phantom another question it would be too much for him, so she hurriedly said "And give him a large Chocolate Shake, too."
Smiling at Christine through his perspiration-laden mask, the Phantom picks up their tray of food and walks toward his seat. Once he begins to eat, he sees that the "place your order" line is now 16 people deep. Everyone stares at him. Who wouldn't?
"What?" bellows the Phantom as looks menacingly at the peasants waiting to order.
The people in line cough and turn their heads, having been caught staring at the Phantom who, by now, has half of a chocolate moustache on his face (the part that is showing) and is dipping his fries in his milkshake.
"Oh, that's just an abomination!" says a woman nearby.
"AN ABOMINATION AM I?" cried the Phantom. "You shall know the wrath of my soul!" And with that, the Phantom leapt upon the table, knocking the food tray and all of its contents onto Christine's lap, and proceeded to grab a hanging lantern in order to swing over and knock the offender onto her bottom.
"Phantom, NO!" cried Christine. "Stop it this instant! Look at my dress! I can't take you ANYWHERE!" Please let's just get this dinner over with so I can go HOME!"
The
Phantom, catching his breath and climbing gently down from the top of
the table, peers over at the woman who spoke to him, whispering…
"You
remind me of my mother…she called me an abomination, too. Remember
this – I will seek you and I will find you. You shall pay for the
insult to my countenance."
"Insult to your what?" said the woman, confused and a bit frightened. "I meant that dipping your fries in the milkshake was an abomination! I mean, that is disgusting! What – were you raised in a barn or a circus or something!"
"Not again…" thought Christine.
The Phantom grabbed the last of his milkshake, poured it over the head of the woman, smeared a hand-full of fries in the shake (on her head), and stuffed them in her open (screaming!) mouth. "There! See! They are quite delicious! Have some more…and some more…and some…
"Phantom! Let her go this instant! I have a surprise for you!"
Turning to see what Christine was talking about, the Phantom let loose his grip on the messy and beyond-frightened woman and walked toward Christine.
"Look what I have for you…something very special and only for you. But you have to make me a promise."
"Anything. Oh, Christine, anything!"
"Take this gift and go – back to your Opera House and back to your dungeon. And NEVER return to a Burger King again. Promise?"
"I…I promise, Christine. Now, what is the gift?"
"Just this…" and she places her closed hand in his, transferring a small token into his.
As the Phantom looks down into his palm, a tear falls from his masked eye, rolling down the fabric of his shading like melted chocolate on an ice cream stick. He looks at the gift, smiling. He looks up at Christine and says, "You alone can make me smile."
Christine answers, patiently waiting for this night to be over, "Yes, and now can we leave, please? These shoes are killing my feet!"
The Phantom takes Christine's arm and leads her out. As he turns to glance once more at the restaurant they have just dined in, he clutches the miniature "Whopper" pin in his hand – a gift from his beloved. He is happy again.
"Christine?"
he asks, softly.
"Yes?" she answers.
"Tomorrow, will you take me to another place?"
"I thought you said just ONE DINNER and we were through!" she answered, angrily.
"Yes, but now that I have had a taste of real life, I want more. And, I want to share it with you. Please Christine, take me somewhere else tomorrow. Then, we will work out a fair arrangement for the future – our future."
"OUR future? Wait a minute. You agreed…"
"Yes, yes, I know. I agreed that you could go and be free of me. But this gift – this gift from you shows me that you truly do care. I will cherish the Whopper pin forever – and will wear it near my heart, and think of you!"
Christine is thinking she was a total nincompoop to have given him that kid's meal prize, but now she is desperate to work out a deal.
"Okay. I will take you to ONE MORE PLACE tomorrow. THEN will you let me go?"
"Can't you trust me yet?"
"Where do you want to go?"
"I heard you and Rauol talking about a new place the other day – what was it? Oh, yes! I remember – Disney World in America. Can you take me there?"
Christine faints at the thought of traveling from Paris to the US with the Phantom. How would he react to a plane? Perhaps they should take a ship? No, the faster they get there, the faster she can start her life with the big "R." As she is carried home to rest in the Phantom's lair, the Phantom is tingling with excitement.
"Maybe I'll get to meet Mickey!" he thinks outloud – and with that, he removes his mask, puts on his p.j.'s, and climbs into his bed.
