He used to be normal. Once upon a time, when he was young, he was a normal little kid.
Oh, sure, he ate more sugar than was strictly healthy and he could never quite get to bed on time and he'd baffled his teachers with how quickly he learned, but he had gone to school and had friends and been as close to normal as he ever could have been.
He had been happy then too, but he never acknowledges that. Besides, he barely remembers it anyway (and he knows he is lying to himself when he says that. He remembers it all too well). Every once in a while, he looks back on those days (days that ended far too soon) and allows himself a few moments to really remember it all.
He had had a best friend named Suzie (Although, he's pretty sure she was named Suzanne, and she just didn't like her name) who-while she never quite understood him ('Nothing like Light,' his mind whispers insidiously, betraying him with that one thought)-was always kind to him. She had had nice, long hair that she chopped off right before he left her alone. He had always thought it was pretty until that night.
He can't remember his teacher's name. He's pretty sure it started with an 'M', but he never paid her much attention anyway. He's certain she was in the building when it came down and sometimes-even though he calls himself a melodramatic fool-he swears he can remember her scream. He can't remember her face no matter how hard he tries.
His parents… Well, his memories of them are vague and that's how he likes them. Even blurry and indistinct, they are too sharp and painful when he thinks of them. So, he doesn't.
L has always been very good at running away (and he can't be sure, but he thinks that he might hate himself for that).
Then comes the fire and that's where he stops. That's where he stops every time. It's all well and fine if he's remember the people who were there, but the actual incident… Before and After are okay, but he can't bring himself to think about that one incident. It may haunt all his memories of Before, but he still avoids it, even in his own mind.
He only manages to think about it once, as he is falling from his chair and Light calls out to him (and it doesn't really count in his mind anyways, because it wasn't really the incident he focused on).
Was this divine punishment for not having done anything (He had run and run and had he ever stopped running?) then?
He allows himself to wonder-just this once-about, if it had never happened, would he and Light have been real friends? If everything had not been destroyed and he had never become a detective, could they have been? Not this mockery of such a bond, but true friends? Maybe more…
And then L is gone.
Sorry for any inaccuracies. It's been a while since I've read Death Note and I only read the main series.
Thank you for reading. Please review!
Ja ne!
~J. DCF
Completed: March 18, 2012
Published: March 18, 2012
