A/N: Hey guys! Here's a new little one-shot for y'all. I know a lot of people don't really focus on Caleb/Susan, so thanks for giving this a chance! This takes place during Insurgent when Caleb is with the remaining Abnegation.
Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent in any way, shape, or form.
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SUSAN POV
This was not happening.
This could not be happening.
Well, it could be… but no! I refuse to think of that night.
But what if…
No! I do not need any more pain in my life. I do not need any more of him in my life. It has been absolute hell, seeing him every day and having to act cordial. He ruined me.
But could science be wrong?
Yes, of course it could be. Technology fails all the time.
Besides, shouldn't it be too early for even technology to tell? It has only been a month. One singular month of too many tears and sleepless nights and never-ending heartbreak.
Bloody Amity and their insistence on all these tests. Why does it even matter? On the outside I am completely fine.
But I know why they did it. It is the selflessness in the Amity that wants us all to be happy and healthy. Surely I should agree with this. I am Abnegation, after all.
But am I really? Hewas right. I am Erudite. I've seen it this past month now more than ever. Seen all the little bits of him in me.
Could there be another little bit in me?
For the first time since they told me, I open my mind a tiny fraction. Would it really be so bad? I would have a piece of him with me in Abnegation. But do I want that? Do I want a constant reminder of our love and his betrayal? His choice of mind over heart and, in the process, breaking mine?
Yes. Yes I do.
I want every miniscule particle of Caleb Prior that I can get. I want his everything to overtake me so that I am no longer my own but his, and I want everyone to be able to see that. Especially him.
I tentatively place a hand on my stomach. Our blissful night seems so far from where we are now that I can barely fathom its consequences.
Obviously it meant nothing to him, for he left me the next day. It was, at most, a means to an end. A "come with me, and maybe then we'll finally be together." A final plea. A last resort.
It was not to me. It was the singular best night of my life. I woke the next morning in his arms and thought that nothing in the world could ever go wrong again.
How foolish I was.
I should have chosen Erudite after that. Should have known how torn I would become if I didn't. But before that, I should never have stepped away from my Abnegation values. I should never have let him convince me to break almost every rule of conduct I had ever been taught without a fear of consequences.
Of course there would be repercussions! Holding hands in Abnegation is frowned upon. Kissing is nearly cause for isolation.
But now it is even worse. Sex outside of marriage is a capital offense. Having a child out of wedlock…
A sudden thought occurs to me. How was I to tell him? I could barely say the standard "Good morning" to him as required by the societal guidelines of my faction.
Did I want to tell him? I shake my head. He needs to know. It is the ultimate act of selfishness to keep a child from him.
A child…
Tears pool in my eyes and run down my cheeks as I consider my child's predicament. Is it an act of selfishness to bring him or her into this mess?
No…
Suddenly, the door bangs open and I am cradled in Caleb's arms. This is home, I think, before wrenching myself away. "Susan…" his voice is soft and desperate, and I look up to see his eyes welling with tears. "Is it true?"
Fury floods my veins. Who dared to tell him before me? It was no one else's place to do so but mine! I cough out a harsh "Why do you care?" before standing and walking to the other side of my small bedroom.
"Why do I care? My angel…"
I suck in a sharp breath at his endearment. "Don't call me that, Caleb." He hangs his head in shame. "I know I have hurt you…" "Then why did you?" My hurt and pain is quickly transforming back into fury, this time at Caleb.
"I thought you would follow me. When you gave yourself to me, I thought that you were agreeing to stay by my side. Agreeing to never leave me wherever the road took us."
"I had told you that I couldn't leave Abnegation! If you truly loved me, if that night really meant something to you, then you would have stayed with me."
"Love." I look up in confusion. "What?"
"You said if I truly loved you. But that has not changed. I love you, present tense."
"Caleb…" "Please, Susan, my love. Give me another chance. Give us another chance." He slowly approaches me and places a gentle hand on my belly. "Give me a chance to be a father."
I could no longer resist him, no matter how hard I tried.
"Yes," I nod, and he takes me into his arms and kisses me softly. "My Susan," he whispers as he sits on my bed, pulling me onto his lap.
"I need to tell you something." I look into his eyes as he takes a deep breath and continues. "Tomorrow I am leaving for Erudite." My eyes widen in shock, and I open my mouth to retaliate before he places a finger on my lips. "Hush. Listen. I am still working for them. I never really left. I was sent here by Jeanine Matthews to gain information on the Divergent." "But why?" He shrugs. "They are my true faction… and yours."
"You're leaving me again?" I try to pull away, and he grips me closer to his chest. "No! Why do you think that I am telling you? I want you to come with me. We can start the life we should have had together. You will be so much safer in Erudite. Don't you want our child to grow up in a place where knowledge is not hidden but encouraged?"
I nod, entranced by the image of a little boy with Caleb's hair sitting on his father's lap and reading.
"Can you be ready by tomorrow, angel? I will help you pack." "I have been ready for the past month." He kisses me again, this time with more passion, and I know that it will all be fine in the end.
Our heartbreak is still there. I still do not trust him completely. But now we are together with our little one, and nothing will ever separate us again, because we are stronger.
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A/N: Props if you get the book (not Divergent) reference in this. Please review!
