What Really Happened During Those Long Dull Delta Quadrant Days....
By: CyberMum

Note: This was written midway through Season 5, and is the first
piece of fan fic I ever wrote. Well... we've all got to start somewhere...
cm

Captain Kathryn Janeway strode onto the bridge. It was another day in the Delta quadrant
and she had a crew of approximately 142 to amuse for another shift.
Actually she was never quite sure how many souls were on board Voyager at any
given time. Her official crew manifest had been blown out cargo bay two when
Chakotay had 'spaced' those Borg several years ago. She often wondered whether
he had done it on purpose. He frequently accused her of being somewhat anally
retentive and had issued a challenge or two in that direction - did she always
have to know exactly what was going on all the time? And why was she constantly
counting shuttles? And who the hell cared how many minor crew members there
were? As long as the replicators could keep reproducing gold shirts they could
probably create those expendable ensigns to wear them as well.
But, to get back to business (or Monkee business, anyway) our captain, who had
already had three cups of double cap non-decaf that morning and was,
consequently, full of beans, had to figure out just how to occupy the the crew,
and more immediately, her bridge staff during the upcoming eight hour cruise, I
mean shift.
There hadn't been much action in the Delta quadrant recently. Well, she'd almost
had a bit of action a few weeks ago, but that hadn't worked out in the end.
So keeping busy was paramount. She'd gotten them lost. No use in self
flagellation - she might as well just get on with it.
"Report" she commanded as she sat down in her chair.
"Nothing to report" came the reply from all stations.
This was not good. They were out of the 'Void'. The doctor had just about
recovered his equilibrium. If only his seemingly insatiable appetite for
creeping up on her with his holo-imaging device and trying to get candid shots
could have been edited out when she had fiddled with his programming. She
couldn't keep sending people to the holodeck - Naomi Wildman was tired of
sharing her Flotter and Nauseous programme with half the crew.
Janeway lifted the cover of the computer terminal that was located between her
and Chakotay's command chairs. She dug around inside the storage pocket of the
case and came up with a packet.
Harry Kim watched with dawning horror. He knew what was coming and there was
nothing he could do to stop it.
Tom Paris heard the crackle of celophane and tried to become very small.
Tuvok's eyebrow sank almost down to his nose.
B'Elanna said "excuse me Captain, Joe Carey just fell into the warp core," and
dashed into the turbo lift as if being chased by a targ.
Chakotay just sighed.
"Okay crew" the captain said as she dealt the cards. "Five card stud.
One-eyed jacks and deuces are wild, last card down. Losers must remove each item of
clothing slowly, accompanied by the music of my choice. Open a ship wide
video com channel. Let's Do It."