Part of the Definition

A oneshot

Disclaiment: I only own what I own, nothing else


Fitz was used to being part of something. The Fitz in Fitzsimmons, one of Coulson's team, an agent of SHIELD. These were important markers of his identity, with the isolation of his past never quite forgotten.

But HYDRA broke all of that. They tore him to pieces. They murdered the happiest time of his life, smashing and destroying whatever he valued.

Leopold Fitz hated change, and HYDRA was change incarnate- Ripping the whole world apart in one afternoon.

SHIELD was gone. Fitz had to accept that. Having Maria Hill turn him in to the US military broken all illusions of that hope. He felt so used by them. Yes, they had given him a place when he was younger, and a mission to help the world. But it had all been a lie. The whole time, like demonic puppetmasters, HYDRA was behind the scenes. His research was in their hands. His creations could be being used for evil at this very moment.

Was there ever truly a SHIELD? The one that he believed existed?

No, he decided bitterly, it was all just his naivete again. He was always to weak, too trusting.

Trusting.

He had trusted Ward. He had looked up to Ward. Ward was who Fitz wished he could be.

Ward was cool. He was brave. He wasn't scared of anything and was about the opposite of Fitz.

His best friend outside of Simmons. A brother.

But Ward was HYDRA too now. HYDRA had taken his friend, corrupted his famil- team. It had stolen Ward.

Fitz felt so angry. He couldn't believe that Ward could be HYDRA, wouldn't believe it- no. There had to be something else going on. A reason. Anything.

There were so many things in the universe that could make a man do something. So many. Mind control, brainwashing, a robotic double, or maybe even something as simple as a threat.

Maybe Ward was being a super secret double agent.

Everyone disagreed. Everyone counted Ward off as a traitor.

But Fitz had never been Everyone.

However, he wasn't dumb either.

Deep down he had already convinced himself of Ward's guilt. It felt like breaking, and throwing, and needless destruction- it felt like chaos and pain and burning- bitterness and anger- betrayal and heartbreak.

It felt like rage.

But now Ward was gone, taking their home along as icing on the cake.

The team was damaged, but so was Fitz.

Fitz was realizing that he was no longer part of Fitzsimmons. Not really.

Simmons was moving on.

He couldn't blame her. She probably didn't even realize it. But she was drifting and Fitz was supposed to let her go, because obsession was madness.

Sometimes they'd be distracted in one of their conversations and fall back into the familiar flow of things. Fitz would think maybe he was just imagining it all. He was blowing the whole thing with Triplett way out of proportion, he was making to big of a deal of the recent distance between them.

But then she would give him a sad smile and he knew things were changing.

He would never leave Jemma- not ever. She was his best friend, his other half. He would never willingly walk away from her.

But if she left him, left him somewhere he couldn't follow her, then he wondered what would be left of him.

What was left when everything is done and broken?

Who was Fitz when he had nothing to define himself left?


A/N: And the CPSFC of 2014 is still going strong!

Ok, this is a little outdated, I wrote it a few weeks ago before tragedy struck and everything. I put it on my tumblr but didn't bother posting it here. But, as part of the CPSFC, I decided it was only fair to put this here too. Why not, you know?

And, by the by, for no reason in particular, I do like reviews. Just putting it out there. Yeah. *innocent whistle*