Okay so this is a short fic I wrote for a friend of mine and decided to post here. It's only ten chapters but I'll post a chapter every week starting today. If you like the first chapter please review. If it doesn't do well I may just take it down. Anyway I hope you like it! It moves fast, but I am thinking of adding more to other chapters. Anyway I hope you enjoy it *Disclaimer* I own nothing but the story line.

Cas stared at his form in the mirror with disgust. His face was clear of any makeup for once and his hair was flat against his head. Cas hated his appearance without his heavy black eyeliner and the gel he usually put in his hair. His hair would be spiked so much it wouldn't move in the wind because of how stiff he made it, sometimes it would fall into his eyes and he had to brush it out of the way. Yes, he needed to get ready now, his daily stare down with himself was over and he could become the person he was used to seeing in the mirror.

Pulling open the drawer below him, he opened his eyeliner and began to drag a dark line across his top eyelid. Then he lightly did the bottom one. He repeated the process with the second one. Placing the liner on the counter he took the bottle of gel and squeezed the cool liquid into his palm. He began to drag it through his soft thick hair, it was a little coarse now from having gel in it twenty- four seven. Cas spiked it up, making sure it would stay in the positions he put it in.

When he finished he regarded himself with a little more liking, not enough to smile at himself though. He put on his spiked collar and tried to stand up a little straighter. As usual his attire was entirely black. All the way from his shoes to his black as night hair, all except his skin and too blue eyes that is. He hated them, his eyes; they attracted way too much attention and were much too big and bright.

Heaving a huge sigh he ducked his head and made his way down the stairs into the kitchen where the rest of his family sat. His little sister Jo, who was munching on a toasted pop tart and reading a novel; Gabriel who was lounging on the couch with that smirk as if he knew something the world didn't, his brother Balthazar was right beside him. Cas could hear his mom humming from the kitchen and his dad was sitting at his desk in the living room, ruffling that brown hair of his. He was probably stressing about some new novel he was writing. He was the reason Jo read so much, she wanted to be just like Dad.

Castiel rolled his eyes at all of them and walked into the kitchen. His mom smiled at him and said good morning but Cas ignored her and grabbed himself a bowl of cereal. He didn't care if he was being rude; no one really cared about him in this household anyway. Leaving the kitchen he sat at the table with Jo who looked up as he sat down.

She grinned at him and said in a teasing tone "Who died?"

He rolled his eyes again; she was always going on about how his fashion choice was like he was going to a funeral every day. She said he needed a new wardrobe but he didn't care about her opinions. She was always wearing a red checkered shirt and a pair of light tight fitted jeans. Not really the best fashion statement either in his opinion, of course no one asked him though so it didn't really matter. "Shut up Jo."

Jo put down her book and put her chin on her palms. She sat quietly for a few minutes watching him eat before continuing with "You know, usually it's only girls who wear makeup."

"I said shut up!" Cas growled, he stood up and brought his bowl back to the sink. He then began to pull on his black combat boots and searched the closet for his black trench coat. He was going to leave for school, even if he would get there a half hour early. Castiel was sick of his family already and wanted to get out of there as fast as he could.

"Ellen? Honey do you have a moment to read this over?" He heard his father call from the living room. His dad was always asking his mom to read over his work, she had always been really good in school but then decided running a bar was more her thing. She ran the best bar in town and everyone knew it. A lot of people asked him if he could get the free booze. Cas knew he probably could and that it would get him in with the popular kids, maybe even earn him a few friends! God knew he would be in the group Dean Winchester was in! He never did though; he wouldn't sink to that level.

Shouldering his bag he left the house, slamming the door tightly behind him for good measure and ignoring the calls of his mom for him to come back and began the trudge toward the bus stop. There were leaves on the ground and a crisp wind bit at his nose from the cool November air. It would be December soon and that meant cold snow and another Christmas all alone surrounded by fucking couples cuddling to keep warm.

"CAS! CASTIEL! WAIT UP BRO!" A loud voice called to him, he recognized the loud cat calling tone of his brother Gabriel. Trying not to speed up, Cas slowed his pace and turned around to face his brother. As he turned he discovered it wasn't just Gabriel but that Balthazar was running toward him as well.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if his brothers joined him on his walk to the bus stop. After all, if he was lucky Dean would come along and walk with them. His brothers were, after all, two of his closest friends on the football team. Dean was over at his house a lot and so Cas was able to see him when he wanted to. Sure he never really talked to Dean except to say hi and exchange a few more words just to be polite but Cas had had a crush on him for as long as he could remember knowing him. Dean was perfect in every way possible but Cas knew he would never look at him twice. He just wouldn't do it.

The two of them caught up to him and Gabriel exhaled happily "Mind if we join you? We need to make sure no one bothers you bro, you never know what asshole might be lurking just around the corner."

Castiel shrugged "Yeah sure, whatever you want to do."

Balthazar grinned and smacked his little brother on the back "Thanks dear brother, you know how much we worry about you. Dressing like this and all, you could be doing so much more with your life, yet you choose to look dead all the time." He wrapped his arm around Cas's shoulder and gave a confused smile. "Why is that Cas?"

Cas shrugged "Thanks for your concern Balthazar." He allowed himself to be led toward the bus stop and inconspicuously searched around for Dean. Gabriel walked on his other side, staring at him with that infuriating secret smile he always had plastered on his lips.

It was more than Cas could bear, by the time they reached the stop all he wanted to do was be alone with his thoughts. Was that too much to ask for?

"Dean!" Gabriel called, waving his arms rapidly for the taller boy to come over.

Castiel's head shot up as he heard his brother calling; from across the crowd he saw Dean's head and saw it begin to move closer and closer toward him. Beside him he saw Dean's little brother and that other boy Kevin. Sam and Kevin were best friends from what Cas could figure and Cas envied the boy for being so close to the Winchester family.

Dean grinned at the group and gave a shoulder hug to each of his brothers. Cas almost wanted Dean to do the same for him but he kept his mouth shut and face vacant. He couldn't show any of the emotions he was feeling in that moment. Much to his surprise though, Dean looked at Cas. He had to look down the slightest since he was good foot taller than Cas but still, he looked him right in the eye. "How you doing there Cas?"

"Okay." Cas muttered softly "What about yourself?"

"Not bad, not bad." Dean smiled at him and said in a hushed tone "Much better now." He winked at Castiel before turning back to his brothers and turning the conversation into one about sports.

Cas blinked and tried to comprehend what had just happened. Had Dean really just winked at him? Had he insinuated that his day was now better because he was standing here with him and his brothers? Was Cas simply reading into all this and making himself into a fool around this gorgeous boy yet again?

Most likely.

He zoned out of the conversation and watched for the bus. He wanted to get to school now and forget about the morning. Dean would never be interested in him and he was just wasting his goddamn time waiting around for him.

The bus came to stop in front of them and Gabriel prodded him forward, trying to make him move. Cas shook himself out of his daze and followed his brothers and Dean onto the bus. It wasn't as squishy as usual since they were one of the few people from school on it. Most people took the later one because they preferred to sleep in or hang around their house later. No one ever really wanted to go to school.

They rolled up to the stop that was a block away from their school and about half of the people on it got off. Cas watched it roll away and wished he could sit on it to the end and just ride the buses to the ends of the universe. What would it be like to get away? To be free to make his own choices and not live with people who judged his every action? Castiel could only assume he would never know.

A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his spell. He looked at it and blinked at how big and perfect it was. He glanced up at the face and almost flinched away at seeing Dean's face to greet him. He grinned down at Cas and said "What're you think so hard about there Cas?"

Cas shrugged and mumbled "Just that I can't wait to get into the real world and be on my own for once."

Dean stared at him in an intense manner; he nodded slowly and squeezed Cas's shoulder "I know how you feel. Some days I just want to run away and never come back. I doubt anyone would notice and I could be free to do what I want. Live how I want and love who I want."

He wanted to ask what Dean meant by that but he was too shy. Plus, he didn't want to seem like he was prying into Dean's personal life. If he wanted to say more he would, he didn't. Dean simply smiled down at Cas and then walked up to be with Balthazar and Gabriel. Cas stood there for a few moments in a state of confusion. He shook his head and then ran up to catch up with the rest of the group.

Another day at school, another day in hell to survive. He could do it… He hoped.

"Hey guys, after school I need to go home right away. Dad wants me to do a few things around the house before I do anything else. Where can I meet you?" Dean asked grinning a little, and running his hand through his perfect hair.

Cas's breath caught as he watched him and he glanced back slightly to see Sam rolling his eyes at Kevin. He didn't understand why, but then he wasn't in on the conversation either. He was never in on a conversation ever. Cas was used to being the outcast on these walks. He didn't ever complain about it, he liked being alone inside his own mind. Though sometimes, he would admit, it got kind of lonely and sad.

Gabriel answered him "We'll be at home if you want to swing by later." He glanced at Cas and winked "We don't do much, do we Cas?"

He shook his head "No, we really don't." He said it a little louder so they could hear him. After he spoke he heard Dean give a small gasp and he turned around to look at Cas. His green eyes were dancing happily and Cas had to do his best not to run up and kiss those perfect pout like lips.

"So he does speak!" Dean winked at him again "And with such a lovely voice too. You should talk more often Cas; you could fall asleep to a nice voice like yours."

Cas ducked his head to hide the blush that crept into his cheeks and let himself fall back a little so that Dean didn't see his red cheeks. He stayed that distance until they reached the school, only then did he get a little closer and walked close behind them. He followed his brothers down the hall until he had to break off to go to his locker.

His was on the main floor of the school over by the English hallway. Really inconvenient for him since his first class was all the way across the school on the bottom floor but at least he had a locker. Some people didn't even have that due to the considerable lack of them.

As he walked down the long hallway that was already beginning to be full of loud kids he spotted Dean, alone walking in his direction. Panic seized him and he considered ducking away and finding a different route to his class. He chastised himself, it was only Dean. Cas had known this kid since middle school and he had never shown any resentment or hatred toward him. No matter how he dressed or acted around him, rude or otherwise. Dean spotted him and gave a friendly wave before walking past him down the hall.

Cas turned around on his spot and watched him disappear into one of the classrooms. He sighed heavily and continued on his way to his class. He was never going to impress Dean the way Dean did to him. He needed to let go of his crush on him. Nothing was ever going to happen, why couldn't Castiel simply accept that fact and save himself the heartbreak? He had enough to worry about as it was.